Awkward moment when I gain no further followers on twitter or tumblr... Oh well, I'm used to having so few *cries* Thanks again for the reviews, I'm pretty sure that we're drawing to a close on our little escapade, so enjoy it while thee can lass, aye? Ah cannae seh how much ma wee heart beats for these lassie's.
Sorry, I just lerve writing in a Scottish accent, it makes me jizz.
Oh, and, if ye laike Bellice, stick us on Author Alert, writing one now aye ;)
Thunder clapped dramatically overhead, lightning lit up the sky as Rose, Alice and I made our way home from the airport. Music played softly from the stereo as we caught up and – in Ali and Rose's case – got to know each other.
I can't tell you how relieved I was when it became clear that the two would get along like a house on fire, though I didn't really know that the fire would spread to every other house on the block...
"Yes! Yes we have to go shopping soon! Tell me, is Bella still wearing those God awful Chuck Taylors? Ugh, we have to get her some heels..." You can guess who that is.
"Yeah, but I like them, they suit her." Rose smiled and reached for my hand.
"Oh? And what's that meant to mean?" I raised an eyebrow as Alice began to laugh from the back seat.
"Well... Erm... What I mean is, erm... Well, I'm the kind of woman who'd prefer to see her girl dressed in sweats and a pair of Chucks than some Jimmy Choos and seven inches of make-up." She shrugged, playing down the fact that she was obviously proud of getting herself out of that one.
Lolno.
"What's wrong with Jimmy Choos?" Alice screamed.
Haaaaa.
Rose spluttered looking for an escape. "Nothing! Nothing's wrong with Jimmy's! How did this conversation turn into kill-Rosalie-time." Her shoulders sagged and I felt a moment of sympathy.
"N'aww baby." She turned and pouted at me as I cooed and rubbed her shoulder a little too roughly.
Mwahahahaa.
"Don't you coo at her, traitor. She insulted Jimmy's." Alice huffed and crossed her arms.
"She didn't mean it. You're being daft. Rose, I didn't mean it, I was just messing. Let's forget about this idiocy and eat lots of ice cream and order take-out from three different restaurants like the big ass fat pigs that we are 'cause being stick skinny is just gross."
"I'm in." Rose said immediately.
"I'm only in if we get to watch movies."
I sighed at my best friend before agreeing, and we spent a few minutes in silence staring out the windows.
Then Alice giggled.
Rose shook.
And I couldn't fucking help myself.
Within seconds we were all in tears over the ludicrously daft mini argument. And we laughed and giggled and in one case snorted our way all back to my house.
"Oh Holy shit, Bells you live in a mansion! I had no idea the last project paid out so well!" Alice stared with her mouth agape as Rose pulled up as close as possible to the front door. She'd had a similar reaction when she came over yesterday to pick me up, so she laughed at Ali's reaction just like I did.
"Yep, seems I'm very skilled in the ways of words." I winked at her, as we all got out the car.
"Have you started on the next one yet?"
"I've tried..."
"Tried to do what?" Rose asked as she grabbed Ali's bags from the boot and dragged them through my now open front door.
"Write." I replied cagily. I'm not really one to discuss my writing until it's almost finished, and I haven't even started yet.
~blergh yo~
"What's going on, here?"
"Something you wouldn't recognise. It's called love."
"Ugh. Spirited Away is such a good movie, but No-Face makes me want to cry in a hole. Why does he eat people?" Alice groaned and hid behind a pillow. We were sat in my living room surrounded by plates of fatty food – including popcorn. I was snuggled up with Rose, and Alice was on the other end of the sofa.
"I don't know. He creeps me out, too. I first watched this when I was, like, eight and I didn't watch it again till I was fourteen. Scared the mofo'in shit outta me." I replied.
"The mofo'in shit?" Rose giggled from behind me; I elbowed her in the gut. "Ooft."
"Yeah, I was eight. Shut up and watch the movie."
"And why does Chihiro keep trusting him? He eats people Goddamn it! No! He's not going on the train with you! Oh. Fine. I hope you get eaten."
"No you don't, Alice. Chihiro's just like you."
"Like shit she is."
"Puh-lease, did you see how fast she was eating that dumpling Lin gave her? You in a nutshell, bro."
"Don't call me bro. And are you calling me fat?"
"No, I'm saying that you eat like a pig."
"Bullshit."
"Guys. I wanna watch this movie." Rose returned my earlier gut jab.
"Ooft."
Alice giggled at us and we stayed in silence for the remainder of the film.
Just kidding.
"I dunno if I prefer Zaniba or Ubaba..." Alice mused.
"Same. Zaniba is just hardcore, but sometimes I feel kinda sorry for Ubaba." I agreed.
"They have stupid names." Said Rose. Alice and I sighed. She has no appreciation for Anime. Alice through a handful of popcorn at her, and she caught some in her mouth. "Cheers, babe."
"Shut up, bimbo."
"Quiet, pixie."
"It's so good to have bonding time with my best friend and my girlfriend." I sighed.
"How about bondage?" Alice chuckled.
"Fuck no; you get far too into shit."
"It could be fuuuun?" Rose chimed in.
"Find somewhere else to sex it up; I'd much prefer ice cream."
"Sex and food, I like it."
"You're not getting involved, Alice!"
"Oh, so we're doing it now?"
"Everybody shut up!"
I turned back to the TV just as Chihiro was getting back into the car with her parents and driving off to her new home. We'd missed the end of the movie. Sigh.
"So... What now?" non of us moved to change the disc.
"I think now we have to talk..." Alice stared numbly at the screen, unblinking.
"About what?" Rose shifted behind me as she spoke.
"I have no idea." I too, stared blankly at the TV. "I always feel sluggish after watching this movie."
"Same." Replied Alice.
Rose reached for the remote on the coffee table, and switched the TV back to normal and we sat and watched shit for a while. After the third episode of Friends had finished, we cracked open the booze.
Five bottles of wine later...
"And then... and then... oh... and then, you picked up the hamster... and it bit you... so you dropped it... and it farted."
"Oh my God yeah! And it stank."
"Then your dad came in and he wriggled his nose making his moustache wobble and he was like 'have you farted, Bella' and he looked so thoroughly disgusted it was the funniest thing." Alice gushed in one go.
"Oh but it was funnier when we were on our way to that gay pride thing as we passed 'Dyke Street'. Everyone was looking at us weird when we were laughing, do you remember?"
"Oh my God yes."
"Wait, what, Dyke Street? Seriously?" Rose asked from across the room, we'd all drifted to different areas in our intoxicated state.
"Yes oh God it was so funny." Alice wildly gestured with her hand, almost spilling her wine on my carpet. Her red wine. "I think I died that day. And then there were those dudes going around with their butts hanging out, and a drag queen singing on the stage and – OH. Angela was all 'oh my God that's not her singing is it?' and we were both like 'THAT'S A FUCKING MAN.' Oh, God."
We burst into giggled again reminiscing about our youth. We were wild. Just kidding. Going to gay pride was a total fluke; we didn't know it was on but heard people talking about it – hano. There were drag queens everywhere – and decided to give it a go. Turned out to be the most fun we'd pretty much ever had. Till college... but still. LGBT pride yaay!
"Yeah, I drink juice when I'm killing 'cause it's fucking delicious!"
I grabbed my phone from the coffee table before it made annoying noises and answered.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Bells."
"Bellaaa oh my God put your clothes back on, you silly slut!" Alice.
"Is that Alice?"
"Yes, Dad. That's Alice."
"Hey, Charlie!"
"Does she have a thing about yelling down the phone?" Rose gestured to the Pixie with her bottle of beer.
"Yup. What's up, Dad?"
"Oh, nothing really, I was just wondering why I haven't seen you since you got here. I want you to come over tomorrow. And bring Rosalie."
"Pshhh um ah oh, erm what?" I spluttered. Rosalie? Who? What? Father? Spawn of Satan? Pukeko?
"Yeah, Billy came over earlier with Jake and they... were kinda crude. Are you really gay, Bella? Actually, no. I don't want to have this conversation over the phone, just be at mine for lunch tomorrow?"
"Uh, yeah okay." I sighed and rubbed my forehead.
"And make sure Rosalie doesn't chicken out, I want her there too. Don't be scared I'm not gonna call Father Michael and have him perform an exorcism, I just wanna talk, Bells."
"Okay, Dad see you tomorrow."
"Bye, Bells. Love you."
"Love you, too." I threw it back on the table.
"What's up?" Rose asked from the sofa.
"You're meeting my dad tomorrow."
She twitched.
~NOMMEH~
After a few more hours of drinking, we all went to bed. Alice in the guest room and Rose in the room opposite mine... For about five minutes and then she was with me yo. I've never actually been in a relationship with someone who's held me all night. I can cross it off my bucket list now, I guess.
The next morning we all conversed in the kitchen nursing hangovers and cups of coffee. Rose was prepping herself for meeting my dad, clearly not expecting it to go well, but she managed a giggle when I put a plate of chocolate pop tarts and a bottle of beer in front of her.
Beer is the cure for all hangovers.
Well, that or lemonade.
Gollum Bella laikez lemonade she does.
Shut up oh my God.
Alice had decided that she'd spend today going around and catching up with people from our childhood, Angela, for example. We were always together as kids, but drifted away from Angie when Alice and I went to College, and Angela went abroad for a few years.
"Bells! For a minute there I was worried you weren't going to come."
Ohyeah now we're at Dad's.
"Oh of course not. Why on earth wouldn't I turn up at my Dad's house after he invites me after finding out his only daughter's a lesbian. Ha."
I didn't really say that.
"Well, we're here now, right?" He grinned and stepped to the side, allowing us through the door. I lead Rose in through to the living room, where dad – oh good God – had left bowls of food on the table. Sweet baby Jesus, it's like family night with Aunt Glenda all over again. Shudder.
The TV was on, albeit on a low volume and the lights were kinda dimmed.
"I'm sure your dad's awesome, but I'm getting the feeling he's gonna ask us to make out, Bella." Rose glanced around the room warily.
"I hate to say it but I kinda agree." I quickly turned up the volume on the TV and increased the lighting. No way was there gonna be a mood for this meeting.
"Hey I got some b- oh. I just wanted to make sure you guys weren't worried about me freaking out." He sheepishly put the sixpack next to the bowls on the table.
"Sorry, Dad but the only thing you were achieving through that was making you look like a sleazy sugar daddy."
"Sorry, Bells. But hey, sit down and tell me everything that Jake was bullshitting about."
Ok. The lowdown.
Jacob asshole Black seems to think that I've become scared by my uncontrollable feelings for him, and so, I have decided to rebel against God's wishes and partake in a sinful homosexual relationship. Naturally. As well as this, he thinks that Dad needs to take the situation into his own hands a arrest Rosalie on the grounds of her being gay.
Erm...
The thing that concerns me?
The fact that Jake has already threatened to kill Rose once already – though we all know that that's as likely to happen as it is for Pluto to be renamed a planet those fuckers – and did it again with Billy to my Dad. Who is the Chief of Police... Are you stupid, dude? Well, if he's mad, he could actually do it...
Am I worried?
Slightly. I'm not going to say anything, 'cause I look like a looney but the second Dad starts getting concerned, I'll voice my opinions and we'll deal with it, but right now, it's just me, my girlfriend, and my dad watching the baseball.
You know, you'd think that my Dad'd be really tense, what with Rose being here. But actually... he's cracking jokes. And they're funny. I mean, shit, when did my Dad become a social God? He's meant to be like me – awkward reject – not some kind of lesbian lady's man.
My life as I know it; is being turned on its axes.
But I love it.
I watched as Rose laughed at one of his jokes and reached for my hand grasping it in her own as she continued to chuckle heartily. Everything about her is just... asdfghjkl... yeah. I just... I don't understand why someone so fucking brilliant is wasting her time on someone like me. Don't get me wrong though, I totally appreciate all the frickin' time she spends on me – which so far has been a lot – and I don't think I can identify any other place I'd rather be when I'm with her, but I feel like I don't deserve her.
Do I deserve her?
Who gives a fuck? She's mine.
Please leave me love duck faced bitches make me wanna jump in front of a bus *duck face*
Keep or delite bbz? 100% reel! 2K3x3+3 xoxoxox