Author's Note: When you guys criticize my spelling and grammar, could you please tell me exactly what I did wrong so I can learn? Especially grammatical errors. Thanks.

Tidus awoke from the plot hole mostly unscathed in a lake surrounded by ruins, he started to swim slowly to shore when a huge fish came out of nowhere trying to eat him.

"Oh carp! Oh carp!" he screamed, making a really dumb pun that I just had to use for some reason. He swam as fast as his Blitzball playing limbs would take him and got to the shore. He found the ruins to be a somewhat good shelter, except it was cold as hell. Tidus had to start a fire so he gathered some wood and another key item, (I'm thinking a fire bow?) When suddenly some atheists walked into the room. They were speaking some kind of simple letter substitution cypher. (Since when does that count as a language anyway?)

"Zru'c drec tfaap?" said one of the atheists

"Namekeuic hid?" said another. She ran over to Tidus and placed handcuffs on him. They dragged him out kicking and screaming. They put him on a boat. Tidus was confused and scared. Mostly because of the plot hole, but also because he doesn't know how letter substitution is solved. Once you know what E is... I digress.

"Hey, what do you atheists think you are doing? Who are you? Speak English!"

"Okay!" said the girl. "Whatcha need?"

"You speak English?" said Tidus, even though there was no such thing as England on Spira. "Yeah, some Al Bhed can. Others haven't taken it in high school. So who are you?"

"I'm Tidus. You might remember me as the star player of the Zanarkand Abes."

"Pedlr oui sicd pa lnywo!" said one of the Al Bhed atheists in the back.

"What?"

"Er, Zanarkand is a holy place. If I were you, I wouldn't say that around people. You might offend someone."

"Say whaaaaat?"

"You're weird. Anyway, it turns out that in order to stay on the ship, you need to do some work for us. If you don't we will just feed you to the fishes."

Tidus started crying. "Fine, I do what you ask."

"Cool, we're excavating some ruins. Come on!"

Tidus and the atheist jumped into the water and swam to the ruins. They didn't need to come up to breathe because shut up. Everything was awesome until a giant nautilus showed up.

"Its a monster!" said the atheist girl doing some weird hand gesture that I can't identify. Seriously what is that? She waves both hand in front of her like a total spaz! Anyway, the two of them fought the beast. Tidus found that he actually had something to do with killing the monster this time. The girl kind of sucks though, I guess that's it. The monster was murdered and Tidus and the little atheist swam to the surface after grabbing some things.

"Tet oui kad cusa luum cdivv?" said a dude.

"Huba, zict y pihlr uv lnyb. Drana'c yh umt yencreb tufh drana druikr, cu madc kad y lnyha haqd desa." said the girl. "Oh yeah, Tidus. Here's some top ramen! My name is Rikku by the way."

"Yay!" said Tidus going to town on the ramen. "I can haz cheezburger?"

"No, the cheese burgers are for us Al Bhed. Its not kosher for you people anyway."

"What's a co shore?" Tidus was sad because he got no cheezburger.

Just then, the Al Bhed started freaking out! A big monster that was neither nautilus nor carp had appeared. Tidus and Rikku beat it up though and the plot was free to progress.