The Return of Chappy Ichiruki Style
Part 2 . . . And Aikur is...
By Fantasy Inc. - An Ichiruki moment
A/N: Oh my god. I struggled for days and days on this and it's still kind of crappy around the edges... I sort of rushed the ending because I wanted to finish it... But if I wrote this for one more day, I might shove it down someone's throat.
Ahem.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy the rather weird story...
Disclaimer: None of you would tattle on me, right? ... Okay, then! I DO own Bleach! Tite Kubo sold it to me for a lifetime's supply of candy bars!!!
Random Police Officer: ARREST THAT GIRL! MISS, YOU'RE UNDER ARREST FOR FRAUD!!!!!
Me: ... Oh crap. It was totally worth it :P Ichi-chaaaaaaaaan, SAVE ME!
"Kon, why don't you go run a marathon? Run a marathon, come back, let me freeze your ass off and then you'll know how I feel right now."
- Kuchiki Rukia
"I have called you all here today for something very important," Rukia began seriously.
Three people were seated in a circle around Kisuke Urahara's coffee table. Rukia took a pre-opened juice box and then sipped it, getting ready to talk.
"Tell me about it, sugar boobs," Kon said slowly, pretending to smoke a candy cigar.
"Yeah, tell us," Renji Abarai grumbled, eyeing the assorted junk food thrown all over the coffee table.
"Let me talk first!" Rukia snapped.
"Okay, so what?" Renji interrupted.
"Ichigo has a crush," Rukia declared.
"I KNEW IT!!!"
"Knew what, ink face?" Kon snorted.
"Ichigo's in love with Chad, isn't he?"
"Sado-kun?" Kon wondered.
"Ichigo's not gay..." Rukia muttered to herself.
"No, it's Uryuu!" Kon added.
"ICHIGO'S NOT GAY!!!"
Pause.
Then Rukia sheepishly added, "I don't think he is, anyway..."
There was a painful silence, only broken by Renji slowly reaching for the nearest bag of chips. He quietly began eating, hoping no one would notice.
"I... No, he's not! Anyway, all I know is that her name's Aikur," Rukia finally said.
Kon thought about this for a moment. "There is no Aikur in Karakura town," he said finally.
"Really?"
"You question whether or not I know every girl in this town?"
"Maybe I do, Kon."
"OH! Nee-san, how cruel! A small, cute plushie like me; a liar!"
"Whatever, Kon. But... if no girl in Karakura town is named Aikur, then..."
"I think I know, Nee-san," Kon said slowly with a wicked grin, whispering in her ear.
"I see..." Rukia muttered. She ran out of the store, looking for Ichigo.
"You're having fun making Ichigo's life hell, aren't you?" Renji asked, eating all the junk food.
"It's going to be hilarious," Kon sighed happily, leaning back with a loud, audible plushie squeak.
xXx
Ichigo sat down at his desk at school, with his usual scowl. He had punched Keigo exactly two seconds post sitting down, yelled hi to everyone he knew without breaking his scowl. Everything was going perfectly.
Except for the fact that Rukia and Orihime had been quietly talking and looking at him every five seconds.
"I know your secret," Rukia chirped happily, sitting down next to him all of a sudden.
"What the-"
"I know your secret," Rukia repeated with a wicked grin. " I know who you love, I.chi.go."
"You what?!"
"I know Aikur's just an acronym for someone else! Ichigo, I never thought you'd love-"
"Alright, class. I'll assume you're all here, 'cept for the punks. Take out your homework," the teacher yelled out.
"I'll tell you at lunch," Rukia whispered.
"..." Ichigo frantically tried to remember his life as it was now. 'My life is going to be over at lunch. Why did I have to write that stupid letter? Why is my whole life completely screwed?'
xXx
The lunch bell rang, but Ichigo had worried himself until his skin was paler than chalk. Still, he had a plan.
"I know who you love," Rukia said softly.
"And you're jealous," Ichigo teased. That was the only plan he could come up with. Endlessly tease Rukia until she blushed herself to death. Obviously, Ichigo was horrible at making plans.
"Who? My strawberry's been hit by Cupid's arrow?" Keigo asked happily. Keigo had entered the scene. Nothing good could possibly come out of this.
"Ichigo is in love with-"
"Why are you so jealous, anyway?"
Crap.
Ichigo realized that now, everyone in the class was pretending to wait around to hear what Rukia was going to say next.
"I know you're in love with..."
Pause.
"TATSUKI ARISAWA!"
"I didn't mean for you to read the letter! I- Wait, TATSUKI?!"
"Yes!" Rukia looked like she was on the verge of tears. Her cheeks were flushed red as she wrote carefully on the board:
A-I-K-U-R
T-A-T-S-U-K-IA-R-I-S-A-W-A
"Ooooooooooooooh," everyone muttered beneath their breath.
"Ichigo!!!" Tatsuki screeched, running towards him.
My whole life is screwed.
"Come with me!" he hissed, pulling Rukia as he ran out the classroom.
"Ichigo! Ichigo, you're hurting my hand!"
"BURN, ARISAWA!!! YOU GOT DUMPED!" Keigo screeched.
"YOU WANNA DIE, ASSHOLE ASANO?!!!!"
Finally, he found an empty janitor's closet and shoved her in. He followed, locking the door.
"Ichigo, it's okay..."
"Huh?" Ichigo flicked on the light.
Rukia was rapidly blinking back tears, but he didn't notice.
"It's okay if you love Arisawa-san. She's very... ah, pretty. Um... Oh! And she's obviously strong enough to fight you! Wait, have I mentioned I'm joining the dojo soon? I'm going to be stronger than her in a little while, so-"
"Rukia. Rukia!" He shook her a little. "I'm not in love with Tatsuki!"
Rukia's eyes widened. She noticed his hands on her shoulders and blushed. From his position, he could see down her blouse. He backed away, not looking at her.
"I...chigo... So, they were right. It was Chad-"
"WHAT?!"
"Ishida?! I didn't know you went that far, Ichigo!"
"I'm not GAY! I'm not in love with any of the THREE, alright?"
"So... who's Aikur?" Rukia demanded, getting tired of everything.
"... Promise you won't say anything until I'm done."
"Promise."
"I... I think- I think love is a big thing. People fall in love, fall out of love. Love's like ink, isn't you? Just wipe it on and off... Or maybe it's like wine that doesn't come off of anything... But see, I was thinking and I think... I think I'minlovewithyou-"
"..."
"Rukia? Say something, at least!" Ichigo backed up against the door and held his arms up in case she started hitting him.
"Ichigo," she called softly, pulling his arms from his face. She traced the outline of his cheekbone with a hesitant finger. Then, she leaned in closer, he leaned down, she went to his ear and said, "YOU STUPID IDIOT!"
"Oi, RUKIA! That hurt!"
"You were worrying me about nothing! Jeez, I knew you were in love with me-"
"You knew, huh?" Ichigo said skeptically, raising his eyebrows.
"Yes, I did!" Rukia snorted, blushing.
"Well then, should we start from where we ended last time?" He leaned down, brushing his lips against her neck. Rukia relaxed into the soothing circular motions of his tongue on her smooth neck.
"Ichigo?"
"Hmmm?"
"I think I love you, too."
Then, she distantly heard, "I know."
"What do you mean you know?" she snapped, looking highly offended at his attitude.
He chuckled. "Do you want me to ask why you were talking about my sexuality with 'they'?" Rukia blushed a darker red.
"I thought so, my little midget-"
"ICHIGO!" Keigo sang from outside the door.
"Shut up, Keigo!" Ichigo snarled.
"ICHIGO, I KNOW YOU'RE HAVING A THREEEEEEEESOME! I heard three, I heard gay and I heard passionate love-"
"We should go straighten this out," Rukia sighed, unlocking the door.
"I'm not going out there!" Ichigo protested.
Rukia smirked, pressing her lips on his. He responded, kissing her back harder and even sliding his tongue along her lips. She almost opened her mouth, but pulled back with a cheeky grin on her now lip gloss-less lips.
"I know you want more than that," she whispered, pushing their bodies closer so he could feel her breasts on his chest.
"..."
"I thought so," she said happily, grabbing his hand and leading them out of the closet.
"So how long have you been wearing strawberry-flavored lip gloss?"
Rukia was saved from answering by another voice:
"1500 yen for video of Karakura's hottest couple in the closet!"
Renji was going to be PWNED.
A/N: Ehhh... For me, it wasn't that great, but it has a special place in my heart. Has anyone else heard the rumor that Kubo-san's going to kill off someone in Bleach? If it's any of the characters I love...
Kubo-san's going DOWN.
You're going to get PWNED by many, many fans...
Kubo-saaan... watch your ste-eps! ;)
BTW, I know Aikur can't be a real name in Japanese. Don't go all crazy on me, alright? Let's just pretend... they're all english speakers and it's a normal world they live in... -rambles on and on-