Chapter 2

Weirdness cubed

Hit Girl was shaking her head as she and Kick Ass entered the safe house. Dave felt he could relate, seeing as he felt like doing the same thing. Of course, at the moment, that sensation was at war with the urge to throw up.

"Well, this fucking night has been a big steaming pile of scary shit."

Dave pulled his mask off with a sigh.

"Yeah. It gets worse, too. You heard what he said. Chris knows our identities, and he's rebuilding his dad's gang. This is going to get ugly real fast."

Mindy removed her wig and mask, and turning to Dave, asked "Speaking of ugly, isn't Katie gonna be pissed that you blew off your date tonight?"

Dave snorted irritably, and replied "Not likely, considering it was her that blew me off. She said she got called in to work tonight. Funny thing is, when we went past the methadone clinic, it was someone else at the desk. I think she's cheating on me."

Mindy's eyes widened as she stared at him.

"Are you fucking with me? I thought you two were, like, joined at the gonads or something. What happened? She start bitching about the hero work again?"

The expression of Dave's face became unreadable, which startled Mindy a bit. She had never seen him close down like that before, and that worried her.

"Dave? What is it? What's wrong?"

Dave's voice was nearly a growl as he said "Katie thinks I'm screwing you behind her back."

Mindy's eyes felt like they were going to pop out.

"Okay. I gotta say that of all the shit that you could have said, I did not see that coming. Are you fucking serious?"

Dave's neutral expression turned towards her, and she rolled her eyes.

"Okay. Stupid question. I don't get it, though. Why the hell would she think we were fucking? I know I didn't say anything to her. Hell, I don't even talk to her unless I have to!"

Dave shook his head, and sat down on the nearest kitchen chair.

"I don't have a clue how she could think that, and I'm not sure I want to know. Things were kind of cooling off between us before all the 'Dave's screwing Mindy' nonsense. I'm just concerned that she might get pissed and unmask us. If she hasn't already, that is."

"You think she might be banging Chris? You think that's how he found out who we are?"

"I think," he said after a moment of thought. "I think we need to do a little detective work before we jump to any conclusions. Are you up for it?"

Bumping fists with him, Mindy grinned.

"Absolutely! In the meantime, maybe we should fuck with her head a little."

What little sense of self preservation Dave had was making his neck hairs tingle.

"Um, Mindy? What are you thinking about?"

Her smirk looked dangerous, and she unzipped the front of her jumpsuit. Dave's eyes goggled, and he turned away, blushing furiously.

"I dunno yet, but I'll work out the details. I'm gonna go shower. No peeking, lover boy!"

Dave turned just in time to catch her outfit in his face. By the time he got the clothing off of his face, she was in the bathroom with the door closed. He sighed, and walked over to the recliner in the living room. More collapsing than sitting, he tried to let the tension in his muscles flow out of him.

He cast his mind back over the three years that they had worked together. Quite a few other costumed heroes had taken up the fight, although some of them needed a lot more work before they could really be called heroes. Dave had since moved out of his father's house, and gotten an apartment, which he and Mindy used as a safe house when necessary. She had her own room, and had been staying with him ever since Marcus had been shot in the line of duty a year before. That had been a bad and bloody night. He and Hit Girl had hit the streets with a vengeance, and by the end of the night, they had found Marcus' killer. The police found the man beaten nearly to death, and pinned to the wall with a knife through his penis.

For the next couple of weeks, Dave was afraid Mindy was going to come unglued. She had been sent to the office several times for beating up bullies, two of which she had sent to the hospital.

When it all finally came to a head, Dave went to see her at Marcus' old place. He found her sitting at the kitchen table facing pictures of her father and Marcus. He said her name, and she turned, practically leaping into his arms, sobbing hysterically. When she finally cried herself out, he told her to get her things. She started to argue, but when she saw the look in his eyes, she stopped herself in mid-curse. Nodding, she gathered all of her clothes and gear, and accompanied him back to his apartment.

Unbeknownst to Dave, Mindy's mind was wandering the same path. There had been the usual adjustments of living together, but they came out it with minimal bruising on Dave's part. Mindy did learn, however, that when Dave got a certain look, it was time to shut up and back off. She was certain that he didn't realize he got that look, because he always looked slightly confused when she backed down.

Mindy recognized that look, and it was one her father had worn when he was done playing games. It was also one that Marcus got when a perp was really starting to annoy him. It was a cop look, and it scared Mindy more than anything. She only knew two people who had that look, and they had both died. The idea of losing Dave kept her up at night, sometimes. It was one of the worst of her nightmares, and it made her realize that she actually liked the big dork. As in, "liked" liked.

Turning off the water, she leaned her forehead against the wall, trying to ignore the sensation that tingled low in her belly.

Fucking hormones! I sooo do not need this shit! I need Dave to-... Ah, shit.

Cutting off that line of thought before it got too far, she got out of the shower. It took her a moment to realize that she didn't grab any clean clothes before coming in, and her uniform was currently draped across Dave's head. Reaching over for a towel, she realized that the rack was empty.

Fuck! I forgot that Dave did laundry this morning. He always forgets to keep one out of the cupboard.

Sighing, she decided that there was no other choice. She had already tempted him once, so why not give him a show. Opening the door slowly, she adopted a pose she had seen in some of the comics Dave read. The woman she had seen was wearing panties and baby doll night shirt, but the principal was the same. It took her a moment to realize that she had no audience. The cooler air of the apartment chilled her, raising goose bumps along her flesh. It also caused her nipples to harden even more. Wrapping her arms around herself, she looked in the living room, and saw Dave in his recliner. The expression on his face was one of deep thought, and she had to admit that it was cute as hell.

Kneeling down next to the chair, she laid her chin on the arm between her hands. In her best "cute little angel" voice, she said "Whatcha thinking about?"

Dave didn't look at her, and he didn't speak for a breath or two. When he did, she almost wished he hadn't.

"We need to find out who did all that to Tarak."

"What do you mean?" she asked. She gulped as she saw him get that look.

"Mindy, someone out there is creating monsters. I don't know whether Tarak was released, or if he escaped, but someone out there did that to him. That needs to stop. I also had a thought about something else, and it bothers me."

Mindy felt a shiver down her spine. She didn't like where this was going.

"It occurred to me that his past and ours might be linked. His creator might be in the employ of Chris D'amico."

The idea brought Mindy's mind to a screeching halt.

"Say that again, because I think I had a piece of fucking crazy in my ear."

Dave turned to look her in the eye. That look of determination had her shivering, and it wasn't because of the chilly air.

"Think about it, Mindy. Chris is the only one with the money to fund something like that, and he's just as much of a nerd as I am. It would be just like him to find some scientist, and set him up to crank out supersoldiers. Think about Tarak's abilities. His mutations look like a cross between Spiderman, the Lizard, and Captain America. The poor bastard was just a prototype, I bet. If we don't find this guy, we may have to deal with something worse later on. We're lucky Tarak is willing to help us. He could have easily killed us both. He'd be quiet about it too, or did you not notice the compound bow hanging on the wall of his shack?"

In fact, Mindy had noticed it. She had also noticed that his arrows were tipped with some wicked looking broad heads.

"Well then, sounds like we got some work to do. I'm gonna go to bed. G'night."

Ignoring his gasp as she stood up, she turned around and went to her room. Closing the door, she silently thanked the builders of the apartment building that the inner walls of the building were solid brick. It was great for sound proofing, and she knew she could get a little noisy when she masturbated. She lay back on her bed, entertaining a brief fantasy that Dave would throw open the door, and take her right there.

As Mindy sated her desires by herself, Dave sat in his recliner blinking in disbelief. He had just seen Mindy MacCready naked, and she was hot. Her curves were actually a little better developed than Katie's had been at that age, but tempered with muscle. A few scars here and there, but heaven knew Dave had enough scars of his own.

Shaking off the image, or trying to at any rate, he got up to go talk to her.

He could only attribute his next actions to lack of sleep, a full work day, and then a patrol followed by a lot of weird stuff. He opened the door without knocking, and whispered her name.

The image of naked Mindy was swiftly replaced by the even hotter image of Mindy with her fingers buried in her sex, whispering Dave's name over and over again. He took a deep breath with his eyes closed, and it only made things worse. He could smell her arousal, and it served to make him harder than Chinese algebra.

Mindy was completely absorbed in what she was doing, and so never heard the door or Dave's whispering her name. She had her eyes closed, imagining Dave doing things to her that made her toes curl, and continued to work herself into a lather. She imagined him running his hands from her toes to her knee, and then up her thigh, across her stomach, and touching her breasts. It felt so real, she could actually feel him kissing her on the lips.

Her eyes snapped open when she realized that Dave was kissing her. He pulled back, and he had a look in his eyes that made her quiver.

"Dave," she whispered. "Dave, please..."

"NICE SIGNAL YOU JACKASS!"

Mindy jerked awake, and glared at Dave for waking her out of what was turning out to be a very good dream. When Dave looked over to check on her, he at least had the grace to look apologetic.

"Sorry about that, but hey! We're almost home."

Mindy settled back into her seat, growling to herself. She really liked Dave, but his timing sucked a big set of donkey balls.

The car came to a screeching halt a second time, this time with Dave wearing a look of total disbelief. Not liking that look, Mindy turned to see what had captured his attention and gasped.

Standing frozen in the headlights was a creature that looked, for all intents and purposes, like some sort of humanoid cat. She heard the driver's side door open, and saw Dave approach the creature slowly. He held up the back of his hand, letting the creature sniff it. As he did so, he looked at the bracelet the creature was wearing, and saw that it wasn't really a bracelet.

It was a flea collar with an attached pet tag.

Reading the tag, Dave gasped, startling the creature. It sank it's teeth into his hand, and then bolted off into the night. Grunting from the unexpected attack, Dave snarled and yelled "Fuck you, Mr. Bitey! Fuck you!"

Hit Girl came running over, and after checking Dave's hand, she asked "Dude? What the fuck was that about?"

Dave growled "That used to be a cat. A cat I tried to rescue once, back when I first put on the costume. Mindy?"

"Yeah?"

Dave said nothing else as his eyes rolled back in his head, and he collapsed into her waiting arms.