Chapter 13

Ron's POV.

Despite my eyes still being shut he sun beaming through the window was turning my world an ugly shade of orange. Rolling over in frustration I reached out in search of the soft warm form I knew to be Hermione beside me, my eyes still closed. When my arm flopped down onto nothing but mattress I flung my eyes open in desperate search for her, I raised myself from the mattress quickly while my eyes tried to adjust to the light. If I thought it had been bad when my eyes were closed then I had another thing coming. After what felt like… too fucking long, my eyes adjusted and I noticed Hermione was not only missing from my bed but my entire room.

"She left." Harry said from the sitting position on his bed.

"When? Why?... Wait, weren't you wearing that shirt yesterday?"

"I didn't realise you paid so much attention to what I wear, should Hermione be jealous?" Harry said with an impressive smirk on his face. I also couldn't help but realise he was wide awake, which was strange as I'm sure its still way to early to be up.

"Shut it!" I said a little harshly, "But seriously where is Hermione? And why are you still in your clothes from yesterday?" I said easing my voice a little.

"Ahh, well… I kind of just came up before."

"You didn't sleep in here last night?"

"No, I didn't. I was going too but when I came up you were already a sleep… with Hermione. So I left, you know, gave you some privacy."

I should be thanking the git, but knowing he didn't sleep in here meant he most likely spent the night with Ginny. The thought of Harry and Ginny together like… well, like me and Hermione was unthinkable, disgusting, wrong, sooooo fucking wrong but I knew deep down that if it was going to be anyone I'd prefer it to be Harry.

Who am I kidding? I don't want anyone touching Ginny.

"So if you didn't sleep here…" I said without finishing the question. I wanted him to fill in the blanks.

"I slept with Ginny." He stated simply.

"YOU WHAT?" I basically screamed as I launched myself out of bed.

Little fucking scum bag. Going to Avada him as soon as I find my bloody wand, where the fuck is it.

"Ron, I slept with Ginny, I didn't shag her, calm down."

Found it, my wand had slightly rolled under my bed. I quickly strode across the room and as I jabbed it into Harry's chest, his words registered in my brain.

"You didn't shag Gin?"

"Much to my disappointment, no I didn't." he said calmly.

Why was be being so calm about this? Fucking smart-ass. As I struggled to find the appropriate thing to say Harry looked up at me questioningly.

"Though you can't say the same about Hermione, can you?"

"It's none of you business, what Hermione and I do… or don't do."

"Just as what Ginny and I do… or don't do, isn't yours."

"She's my sister." I said back. Even to me my defence sounded pathetic.

"Exactly. The personal details of your sisters relationship is none of your business. I don't go threatening you even though I consider Hermione my sister. I haven't punched your face in even though I know damn well you have shagged her."

The git had a point. But how did he know about Hermione?

"You don't know if Hermione and I have-"

Harry cut me off, "you have. I can see it all over your face and I could see it written all over hers earlier. So don't stand here and get angry with me because I left you two alone, don't pretend as though you wanted me up here because I know you didn't."

Once again, the git had a point.

"You really didn't shag Ginny?"

"No I didn't." Harry began, "But, Ron, I will… at some stage… if she wants… what I mean is, I love her and I cant imagine ever being with anyone else… and I don't exactly plan on being a virgin forever."

"Okay, I can kind of see where you're coming from. This is just sooo fucked up. I really have been trying to… accept you two, but when I think about you two… you know… it's hard. It's hard to image anyone with Ginny, so it's not like it's just you or something."

"I know, I can kind of understand as Hermione is like my sister. I have to admit its strange you two being together, I've had years to wrap my head around it yet its still weird."

"Years?" I asked.

"Well yeah, you both liked each other, so I kind of assumed you would get your shit together and do something about it. You kind of did when Dumbledore died, I guess I thought of you two as a couple since the summer."

This was crazy info, Harry knew Hermione liked me and didn't say anything, what a wanker. And what's this shit about Hermione and me acting like a couple? I was trying to process this mental shit when Harry began talking again.

"Whatever. Are we going to need some kind of code or special knock now? So I don't walk in and actually see... or are you going to give me prior notice or…"

"Stop right there…now. I am not going to tell you when I'm going to… you know. Oh my god, this is shit. Aren't guys supposed to be able to talk about this, the other blokes at school actually bragged about shagging some bird."

"If you say anything about Hermione remotely close to how Seamus talked about girls, I will punch you… hard."

"I'm not going to tell you anything like that, fuck. Harry, she's important, like seriously important, I wanna tell fucking everyone that she's mine but I'm not telling anyone stuff like that. I even told her… that she's important."

"You told her she's important? You're such a charmer Ron."

"Shut up, you know what I meant, I actually told her I loved her… and she said it back. And now I sound like a total loser."

The guy must think I'm a complete fag talking all that kind of shit.

"Ron, I love Ginny," Harry was red, which was seriously rare, "I love Ginny more than anything and if it makes me a fagot for telling you this then so be it. I told her and she said it back, I nearly stopped breathing, no one has ever said those three words to me."

I could see how happy he was just remembering it. At first I thought he was really losing it but then I remembered how happy I felt… still feel because Hermione had said those words to me. Words that I had heard from my family so many times I've lost count, in fact, I never bothered to count because I had been told since…forever. It was obviously different when Hermione says it but the thought of Hermione being the only one to ever say those words to me was unimaginable.

Ginny had been the only person Harry could remember to say those words to him. Risking any masculinity I had left I decided I was going to change that.

"I love you."

Harry looked at me with a mixture of happiness and confusion, like he didn't exactly understand why I had said it.

"You're like my family and I love you just as much as I love them. Ginny shouldn't be the only person you know to have told you that."

Surprisingly it wasn't as humiliating as I thought it would be.

"I love you too… you're the first friend I ever had, the best friend I'll ever have."

Harry didn't seem all that embarrassed either, a little shocked but I imagine that's because of the significance of the moment in his life. Hermione must be rubbing off on me; I'm all compassionate and shit. I'm even beginning to use bigger words when talking to myself. Mental.

Thinking about Hermione had my mind very quickly going back to last night, the best night of my life.

"Stop thinking about Hermione." Harry said quickly.

"How did you know I was thinking about Hermione?" Psychic this one.

"I didn't, you just confirmed it."

"Wanker," I said with no seriousness at all, "I know we said we weren't going to talk about it but I have to ask, "What did you do with Ginny?"

"Last night?"

"Yeah." I said bracing myself.

Don't punch him, don't punch him, don't punch him.

"Honestly not much, she was really upset and we kind of just talked for ages… about Fred and everything from when we were away, I promised her I'd explain everything and she's telling me about her year."

'You seriously did nothing?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"I said not much, not nothing. We snogged a lot."

"Right, just snogging."

"Right, just like when we walking in on you and Hermione snogging in your bed the other day, a bit like that."

The prick had to say it with a smile on his face. If he was talking about what I'm remembering that's some serious snogging. Fuck, I was on top of Hermione, snogging the life out of her, running my hands fucking everywhere when they ruined it.

Remembering this put me in a strange place, I was disgusted at the thought of Harry and Ginny like that so I decided I may as well think about Hermione and me like that. But then I thought about last night and about doing it again. Remembering last night had given me an instant hard on, thank fuck I'm sitting down and just happened to be holding my pillow, I discretely placed it in my lap.

"Okay, don't explain, I don't even know why I bothered to ask."

"So… you and Hermione… serious now yeah?"

"I was always serious about her."

"You know what I mean, I was just trying to avoid saying sex directly… and now you've made me say it. Damn you." Harry was shaking his head and looking at the ceiling as he cursed at me.

"Yes, we had sex…"

Fuck it, I had to tell someone, not caring if I embarrassed Harry, I started spewing random shit from my mouth.

"It was amazing," Harry groaned in disturbance but didn't leave the room, "she was amazing, sex was amazing."

"Okay, I get the point. Anything else? I want this conversation over."

"I sucked," I said honestly as I deflated.

"You couldn't have been that bad."

"But I was, I just told you how important she is, it was supposed to be special, she would have wanted that. She would have wanted music and candles and girly shit but instead she had my filthy room, my tiny bed, I kept swearing and saying dumb shit and… I lasted like a minute."

Harry just kind of looked at me and an awkward silence filled the room and nearly suffocated me.

I was sure about to be strangled by some invisible force when Harry finally spoke, "a minute? Really?"

"Fuck. Okay it was more than a minute but it seriously wasn't long, this is so bloody embarrassing." I mumbled and dropped my face in my hands.

"Well, I don't thank that can be helped and about all the other stuff, Hermione has been in your room before, she knows it's little and always a mess. She also knows you and knows that you swear like no tomorrow and usually do so when you're trying to say how good something is."

"You're just trying to make me feel better." I mumbled, my face still hidden behind my hands.

"Yeah, pretty much." Harry said while trying to suppress his laughter.

"I hate you right now."

"No you don't, you love me remember."

That was it; we both broke into laughter probably because there was nothing else we could do. When the smell of breakfast reached my nose however, I clutched my sides and made my way to the door. Fagot male bonding, or whatever the hell that conversation was, forgotten I rushed down the stairs and into the kitchen, Harry not far behind.

Hermione's POV

Ginny and I were setting the table when we both heard heavy foot falls pounding down the stairs, Ron and Harry for sure. I finished placing the plates and turned to find that I had been right, Harry and Ron were both standing in the doorway, looks of bewilderment on their faces. I walked back over to the stove and started serving up bacon and toast for the two of them. I knew why they both looked so confused; there was no Molly Weasley in sight, just Ginny and I.

"Mum hasn't come down yet and we assumed everyone else would want breakfast soon," Ginny explained as she walked over to take Harry's hand.

"She hasn't woken up yet?" asked Ron, hoping that that was the reason for his mothers' absence.

I looked between Ron and Ginny, Ginny had quickly busied herself with more cooking and serving, she was definitely a miniature version of her mother and Ron was waiting for an answer that would make everything seem a little better. I couldn't give him the answer he wanted, I wasn't going to lie because that would most likely hurt him more.

"No, your mum has been up for a while, but she hasn't come down yet. We seen her moving about the landing above but she didn't come down here."

"Oh, right."

"Come eat something?" I asked. I still hadn't moved towards him, leaving him alone in the doorway and myself behind the table where I had placed plates full of food for the boys.

He moved into the room just in time to clear the path for Percy and Charlie, Ginny quickly went to get them something but I put my hand on her shoulder and turned her back towards the table, "go sit with everyone."

She didn't argue and I went about serving up breakfast for the new additions. Though everyone was digging into the food an uncomfortable silence was present, the Weasley children were not accustomed to anyone but their mother cooking in this room. Just as everyone was finishing up, Fluer and Bill arrived and offered to clean up, despite not eating anything themselves.

"Wait, Hermione you haven't eaten yet," Ron said jumping up and grabbing some toast.

He messily, spread some raspberry jam on some toast and handing it to me, then poured me some pumpkin juice and put some ice in it for me, my breakfast favourites.

"Thank you." I said and sat down to eat. I really wasn't hungry but understood he was trying to do something nice for me.

Harry and Ginny silently got up and left shortly followed by Percy and Charlie who headed out the door. Ron sat down beside me and silently waited for me to finish my two slices of toast. Fluer cleared away the dishes and once she was done, Bill and herself went out the door in the same direction as Percy and Charlie. No doubt to apperate to Hogsmead to help with Hogwarts repairs.

I was alone with Ron. Everything from last night kept replaying in my mind and I could tell he was thinking about the same thing. Hopefully he felt the same about it as I did. Elated.

"You left this morning." He said quietly.

"Ginny woke me and I went back to her room, I didn't want to get ourselves in trouble," I explained shyly.

"Makes sense. What are you doing today?"

"Nothing really, waiting to hear back from Kingsley and helping you guys with anything that needs to be done for tomorrow." I hated bring up the funeral but, it was something that couldn't be ignored.

"You don't have to do anything…if you don't want to."

"I want to help," I replied as I took his hand under the table.

"So Ginny came up this morning?" Ron said changing the subject; he obviously didn't want to think about what we were going to do tomorrow.

"Yes, with Harry," I said, while trying to hide my wince.

"He knows."

"So does Ginny."

"He won't tell anyone."

"Ginny wont either, she actually has this crazy idea that we could change rooms every night but change back early enough for no one to find out."

"But you don't want to do that?" he asked and I could sense a little hurt behind the words.

I wanted to scream, hell yes I want to, but was way too nervous and embarrassed to voice such thoughts. The things he made me think and feel were making me a different person, a person who didn't care about rules and proper behavior, a person who made hormonal decisions and not logical ones. Everything I have ever done, I always put a lot of thought into, weighed up the pro and cons of each action and then done what I thought was the right option.

But when it came to Ronald Weasley, I tossed the cons out the window, not matter how many of them there were and went with the most illogical and reckless decision imaginable. I think I have lost my mind.

"I want to do that." I whispered whilst tracing patterns on the wooden table.

"Great," he said, truly sounding pleased, "even if we have to go back to staying in a tent I'd prefer to stay with you."

I finally looked up at him with a smile, "you hated that tent… we all hated that tent."

"Yeah, but if it means I get to lay with you and you don't have nightmares then it'll be worth it."

I lent over and kissed him as that seemed like the most logical thing to do. No words came to mind as an appropriate response, which was another thing Ron managed to do. Completely erase my somewhat impressive vocabulary.

"Wanna walk?" Ron asked when we broke apart

"Yeah, okay."

As we weaved down the path that leads down to the orchid Ron held my hand and with his thumb traced gentle patterns on the back of my hand. The breeze was present just enough to cool the air and spread the scent of the many flowers that grew in clusters amongst the shrubs that house the gnomes. I had dreamed of spending days at The Burrow like this since I was about 13, why did the ever presence of guilt and grief have to ruin it for me now that I finally have it.

It was incredibly exhausting riding this emotional rollercoaster that I've been stuck on for days now. One minute I want to cry for too many reasons to count and then the next I'm happy because I finally have Ron. I am a selfish bitch. People are dead, is brother is dead, my parents are missing, the wizarding world is in complete disarray and majority of the time I'm happy.

There must be something wrong with me.

I let go of Ron's hand and put a little more distance between us.

"Hermione?" Ron said as he looked over at me, he was trying to hide the hurt behind his eyes.

"I shouldn't feel like this," I said out loud before I realised what I was doing.

"Feel like what?" he said, now not bothering to hide the hurt.

I figured I might as well continue this conversational path I had started, "happy."

He just nodded at me.

"Everything is so messed up, everyone is so messed up, but I'm happy when I'm with you."

He looked at me a little more, I think he was deliberating with himself about wether or not to speak or not. After a moment he finally spoke, " I think we should be allowed to have something good in our lives at the moment, we deserve it."

"You don't think we're bad people?"

"Why would I think that?"

"Ron," I said a little exasperated, "everyone is grieving or helping rebuild and we… we…I mean-"

"You think you're a bad person for having sex?" he asked bluntly.

"Are we not? Should we even be thinking about it with everything else going on?" I asked desperately.

"I think… yes. Damn it, yes. We're human and I can guarantee that we are not the only ones."

"I guess your right, it's just that I can be so sad one second and then the complete opposite the next. I can't keep up."

"Come here," Ron said and pulled me into an embrace, "I think we all have had that problem, but at least we have something to feel happy about."

I looked up and him and he quickly swooped down at took my lips with his.

Something to feel happy about was an understatement and remembering Ron's words from last night about wanting to forget, I let myself get caught up in the moment.

As if I had a choice.