I apologize for the absence. I suffered a significant loss last month and have been trying to process the grief ever since and really just haven't wanted to do anything, but I'm forcing myself to carry on because I have to. Thank you for being patient with me.
Also, this chapter is filling in some pieces from Part I, so it might feel like some parts are a bit quick, but it's because I was in more detail in the first time around writing it.
Happy reading everyone.
Folsom Prison Blues by Johnny Cash
Sheryl Crow by Tim McGraw
Chain of Abuse by Three Days Grace
Like the Rain by Clint Black
Breathless by The Corrs
One Day Closer by Carolyn Dawn Johnson
1994—May
Montana, U.S.
Luke felt a bit concerned as he watched Rita solemnly get ready for school. He wondered what could possibly be bringing her down. He'd noticed the decline had started the evening before.
"Hey," Lance said as he came into the kitchen now, strapping his watch to his wrist. "Smile, okay? She'd want that." He looked at Rita, and she gave him a half one.
"I'll do my best," she replied. Luke watched as father gave daughter a hug and kiss on the head before rubbing her back a bit vigorously and giving a final pat, making her lurch forward slightly from the impact, before going to get his coffee. Rita shouldered her bag and walked out to head for the bus. Luke grabbed his and followed, nodding a goodbye to Lance on his way out. He was burning with curiosity now.
"You okay?" he asked her as they walked.
"Yea."
"Seems like you're a little low today," he insisted. She gripped her bag straps tighter and tightened her jaw.
"It's nothing."
"Let's not do this," he said after heaving a sigh. "Just tell me." She looked at him.
"I don't want to."
"Rita..."
They'd reached the end of the driveway, and the bus had arrived before Luke could say anything else. He automatically looked for Keira before remembering she wasn't going to school today. Rita hopped on and went to her seat next to Bridget. As he walked past, she kept her head down, but he heard what Bridget bent to whisper frantically into her ear:
"Happy birthday!"
He stopped instantly, twisting to look at her. Both girls' backs were to him, and he was being given a look by the bus driver to sit the hell down already, so he did. He felt confused as to why Rita was so down (but he did understand not everyone liked their birthday...his mother certainly hadn't), and he sat there thinking about it as they bounced along the road.
Then he remembered.
...
Rita hated herself for telling Bridget when her birthday was. She didn't really know how it had even come up, but thanks to Bridget's inability to keep it to herself, Luke now knew too. Rita had hurried off the bus without looking back, but she'd felt his eyes boring into the back of her head as she went. She spent the day trying not to think about any of it, but it was hard.
She'd killed her mother today 14 years ago.
Yes, people could tell her it wasn't her fault all they wanted, but she had. Her birth had killed her mother, thus it was her fault. End of story.
She floated through school trying to focus on anything but her own thoughts. Her father always wanted her to feel happy for her mother's sake, but she couldn't. How could she celebrate this day? She was the reason her father didn't have a wife anymore. Both times! That thought hurt, too, every time it popped up. If Carol hadn't asked her what Simon had done, she wouldn't have gone outside and gotten shot.
"There you are!" Bridget exclaimed, catching up to her as she tried to get on the bus unseen at the end of the day. "Let's do something fun for your—"
"No," Rita cut her off sharply. Bridget looked taken aback, but she closed her mouth. Rita stepped onto the bus, keeping her head down and eyes to the floor. She sat in her usual seat and found, too late, Luke sitting there already. She went to jump up and move when he grabbed her knee and held her down.
"I'm not gonna say anything now," he said. "But you and I, we're gonna talk later."
"I don't want to..."
"Too bad."
Rita chewed on the inside of her bottom lip as she stewed. Luke gave her leg a pat before getting up and returning to his seat near the back. She kept her head straight and felt her insides twist. She was dreading what he wanted to talk about.
...
Lance was going to be honest: he had a hard time with this day. How fair was it that he couldn't celebrate his daughter's birthday without knowing her birth was the reason Rosie was no longer with them? It was just too cruel.
But he certainly did not blame his daughter for losing his wife. Not for a second.
He knew how depressed Rita got today, and he wished she wouldn't carry that burden. He wished she would understand that it wasn't her fault. These things just happened sometimes, and Lance was pretty unlucky for the most part, so he should have known his happiness with Rosie wouldn't last. He blamed himself. If he had just stayed away from her, she might still be alive today.
He looked at the clock, hoping to leave early today so he could be there for Rita, but it wasn't looking too good based on what he had left to do. He just hoped that Luke wouldn't leave her to her sorrow for too long, even if he didn't understand why she was struggling to begin with.
...
Luke let Rita slink off after they got home because he wasn't quite ready for their talk yet. He didn't want to come on too strong, but he wasn't going to let her hate on herself all night either.
It was a fine line.
He sat on the porch after a bit and watched her take off on Willow. He breathed in and out slowly, fully. What could he do to help her feel better? He thought hard. Then he smiled.
...
Rita came back the house after getting Willow all wiped down and taken care of. The ride hadn't entirely cleared her head like she'd hoped, but it was better than nothing. At least she got to feel a little bit closer to her mother while riding her mother's horse. She stepped into the house and kicked her boots off, shoving her hands into her hoodie pocket and walking to the kitchen to get something to eat. That's where she found Luke singing very out of tune to one of her favorite songs.
"Luke, what are you doing?" she asked, making a face.
"What?" he asked, looking over his shoulder at her.
"You are butchering that song."
"I disagree."
"Luke..." She sighed and shook her head as he bawled out the chorus. She knew even Johnny Cash would be covering his ears right now. She felt a laugh forming, and she fought to keep it down. Today wasn't the day to find anything silly.
Then she got hit with something hard and fast, exploding water all over her, and she shrieked in fright.
"LUKE!"
He was roaring with laughter now, chucking another water balloon at her head as he ran off, which she was unable to avoid. Sopping wet and greatly aggravated, she ran after him. She ducked and dodged his water missiles outside until he ran out, and then he just flat out ran for his life. She caught him at the barn door, launching onto his back as he tried to get in. He yelped in laughter as she hooked an arm around his throat just as he fell face first into the barn. He let her playfully pummel him for a moment before throwing her off lightly. She hit the ground and rested on her back, breathing hard. A slight giggle escaped her, and she clapped a hand over her mouth. It felt like such a betrayal to her mother somehow.
"She'd want you to laugh, Rita," Luke said without looking at her. "I know it."
"I miss her," Rita said, starting to cry. "I miss her and I've never even met her." Luke sat up and pulled her up with him. She let him put his arms around her and hold her, which made her feel things inside despite her sadness. Any touch from him was almost Earth shattering most of the time.
"I know it hurts," he said after a moment when she calmed down a bit, "but don't let that pain take over everything else. Promise me."
"I can't..."
"Yes, you can. Promise me," he said again firmly. Rita pulled back to look at him, and she could see how much he cared about her, even if he did try to hide it.
"I promise," she whispered.
"Thank you," he replied, his voice soft. Then they both looked as Hank stood over them, giving them a curious look. His long ears twitched with interest.
"You do not get to butcher Folsom Prison Blues and get away with it," she warned, deciding to start now with letting the pain go a bit.
"I didn't butcher it!"
"Oh my God, Luke," she groaned, "you sounded like a dying cow. You might as well have let Hank hee haw along with you."
"You liked it." He smirked and pinched her cheek.
"Argh!"
Then he was up and running again, and she couldn't catch him this time. Her father was home at this point, and he was watching with interest as Luke jumped the porch railing and skidded into the doorway.
"What did you do?" Lance asked him, curious.
"No idea!" Luke replied without stopping. Rita was on his heels.
"Yes you know!" she hollered, catching the screen door before it hit her in the face. He slammed the bathroom door in her face and locked it so she couldn't get in. She pounded her fist on it.
"Get out here and face your punishment!" she yelled.
"Never!"
"Seriously, what did he do?" Lance asked, standing behind her now a little ways down the hall. He looked mildly concerned for Luke's safety.
Then Luke started to horribly sing again through the door, and Lance started to roar with laughter, and Rita gave up and went to make something to eat. She couldn't seem to stop smiling, though, which she knew was Luke's plan. In the end, she knew he was right. She had to stop letting the pain destroy the celebration of her birth, which her mother would want her to celebrate. Luke was right about that too.
She let the two men in her life make her laugh for the rest of the evening, and she didn't regret a single moment of it.
...
Lance went to sleep that night feeling a bit lighter than usual on this day. Thanks to Luke, they had a good evening (even with Rita cramming his face into his dinner on her way to her chair as revenge for singing so badly), and he knew he could count on the boy to make this happen, even if he hadn't asked him to do it. Luke had a way with Rita that Lance couldn't seem to understand. He didn't know what it meant, but he just hoped it would never escalate from friends territory.
Because he'd really hate to kill a fine young lad for disobeying him and falling in love with his daughter.
1994—July
Rita was very excited. Her father had conceded to her plea of working at the library in town, and the librarian there had been desperate for help and hired her without hesitation. Rita felt proud to have a job at 14 and in her favorite place no less. Sometimes it was hard to just put the books back on the shelf without reading a page or two (ok ten) first.
A finger tapped her shoulder and scared her, making her slam the book shut and feel guilty for getting caught. It wasn't her boss standing there, though.
"Caught ya," Luke said, smirking.
"I wasn't doing anything," she tried.
"Please," he scoffed. "Your nose was buried so deep in that book the world could have ended without you knowing it."
Her face burned slightly. It was true. She'd been immersed in the book world too far. She cleared her throat and held her head up high.
"I was checking for damage," she insisted. He laughed out loud and shook his head.
"Sure," he replied finally. "Whatever you say." He loped off to look around a bit. Rita followed after putting the last book away.
"How did you get here?" she asked curiously. "Is Dad outside?"
"No."
"Then...how did you get here?" she asked again. Mel appeared around the corner then, and Rita stopped, bristling inside slightly.
"Hi," Mel said with a bright smile. She had some books under her arm. "Rita, right?"
"Yea," Rita reluctantly confirmed. Why was she with Luke? She thought Luke had been clear in that he wasn't interested in her.
"You done?" Luke asked Mel.
"Yea. Just gonna check out."
"See you outside," Luke said to Rita, heading for the door. Rita blinked. Obviously Mel was her ride home. She grumbled to herself in her mind as she went to clock out and get her things. The idea that Luke had spent the day with her made her grumpy. She felt even grumpier to see them leaning against her jeep side by side, elbows almost touching.
"You must be in seventh heaven working there," Mel commented when Rita approached. "Luke is always talking about how much you read."
"It's pretty great," Rita agreed, feeling warm inside. Luke talked about her? That must mean something.
"Come on, Bookworm," Luke said now, opening the door for her. "I gotta get back to help Kenny."
"Okay, okay."
Rita listened to them chatting as Mel drove. She didn't quite trust that Mel still didn't have a crush on Luke, but she had to trust that Luke still didn't return it.
"See you later?" Mel asked when she dropped them off.
"Yea," Luke confirmed. "Randall's place, right?"
"Yea."
"See you there." He waved as Mel drove off and then walked towards the house with Rita.
"What's at Randall's house?" Rita asked.
"Just a hang out."
"Can I come?"
"Not this time."
"Someday?"
"Maybe."
"Who's Randall?"
"Some guy."
Rita let it go at that. She knew he wouldn't give her any further information anyway. Luke asked her about the book he'd caught her reading, so she started to tell him about it. Then he was jostling her and teasing her for reading on the job, and the banter went back and forth until he had to go help Kenny. Rita sat on the porch and sighed happily. She hoped Luke would never leave the farm.
1994—August
Things had been going well until Rita had decided to give Luke's punching bag a try, which had led to the conversation of him training to become a soldier. This had not sat well with Rita, knowing he was not only going to leave but going to do something dangerous, but she couldn't tell him not to do it. It was his life after all.
But ever since, he'd been avoiding her.
Rita just knew something was up with Luke when he didn't go for a run with her in the morning for the next few days. He either went before or after her, and something about that just didn't sit well with her. She wondered if he didn't like her using his stuff, but he didn't tell her not to, so she wasn't sure.
It was confusing.
She was brushing Willow when he came in to get water and feed ready. She watched him quietly, debating on whether or not she should say something. He gave her a nod and a curt smile before going on his way. She decided she'd let it go for now since he might be dealing with something she wasn't aware of, but eventually she'd confront him.
For now, she'd make sure to be incredibly difficult to stay away from.
...
"I think something's happened," Lance said, nursing his beer in his hand as it rested over his knee. He was sitting with Kenny and Lucy on Lucy's porch. Keira had kept popping out until Lucy threatened to revoke all visiting privileges to Lance's farm for a week. She stayed in bed after that.
"Like what?" Kenny asked, sipping his whiskey. Lucy had her half glass of wine and that was it. She didn't like to drink much.
"I don't know," Lance said truthfully. "Luke is being a bit distant with Rita these past few days."
"Uh oh," Kenny said, his tone suggestive.
"Don't say that," Lance replied in almost a whine.
"What? What do you think has happened?" Lucy asked him, not getting it.
"I think they've done something and now he's freezing her out."
"Pfft," Kenny said with a snort. "I was joking, anyway. Luke's a stand up guy. He wouldn't do that."
"You know that for sure?"
"You kidding? He chased down some lady in town after she dropped twenty bucks just to give it back to her. A not so good guy would have just pocketed it without a word."
"You have a point," Lance agreed. He ran his fingers through his hair, leaving it to stick up a bit when he was done. "Then what's going on?"
"Maybe he doesn't want to be close with her so as to not get hurt if he loses her," Lucy said quietly, and both men looked at her.
"You might have a point there," Kenny acknowledged.
"Why do you say that?" Lance asked her.
"Because he hasn't been around Keira much either. He's distancing to protect himself."
"Huh." Lance wasn't sure what to make of that. It proved that Luke cared about Rita, and he wanted to know just how much he cared about Rita.
"Sounds like something you're familiar with," Kenny said to her, and Lance caught the look shared between them. He'd suspected they were moving towards more than friends, and he also suspected that Lucy was holding back.
"It's self-preservation." Lucy held his glance with an even stare.
"Maybe the person needs to realize that by doing that, they're hurting both themselves and the other person."
Lance felt like he should leave them alone, but he didn't know how to do it without them noticing. He looked at the floor between his feet instead, feeling the tension between them.
"I'm sure Luke will come around," Lucy said finally, making Lance look at her again. "If I know Rita, she won't let him do it for long."
Kenny made a "huh!" type sound, which Lucy ignored. Lance cleared his throat.
"I'm sure you're right, Luce," he said. He stuck his beer bottle back into his mouth while Kenny and Lucy avoided looking at each other.
He hoped that whatever was going on between them would get sorted out and real soon.
...
Luke wasn't sure what to think of Rita hitting that bag. He watched her now, knowing she didn't know he was there. After her first try the other day, she'd already improved, which scared him. He didn't want her to become like him in any way. Lance was still teaching him things and sparring with him frequently. He'd taken some time to focus on school, though, and Lance was fine with that. Luke kept thinking about his future, and he honestly wasn't really sure what he wanted to do anymore.
He could tell Rita was angry at something or someone as she kpet hitting the bag. He had an inkling that it had something to do with Simon since neither she nor Lance talked about him. He wondered what happened but wasn't going to ask her. He'd let her tell him when she was ready. A part of him didn't want to know so as to not visualize it.
"Aauuggh!" she yelled now, and Luke realized she was crying. He felt as though he was witnessing something way too personal, so he slipped away, hands in his pockets. He didn't know how to feel, knowing that someone had caused Rita to hurt like that. It made him even more protective towards her.
Which made his distancing from her that much more complicated, even if he was doing it to avoid the pain of losing her or having her be used as a leverage against him in the future.
London, U.K.
Zeke sat with his fingers pressed to his lips. He looked at Colter standing across from him and wondered how his son could keep such a secret from him. Did he not realize that Vince would be a great asset to the cause? When Simon had told him, he hadn't believed it. Simon provided proof, though, which made Zeke look into it further. Vince had a half brother named Trevor. They lived with their mother and father/step-father. There were some incidents of domestic violence at times, which made Vince act out.
And it made him the perfect candidate.
"What?" Colter asked, his voice a bit cold.
"How are things on the Montana front?" Zeke looked for a twitch or a flinch, anything that would give away something.
"Fine," Colter replied. "The boy is still training."
"And the girl?"
"Not yet."
"Hmm," Zeke mused. Maybe Lance wasn't going to do it. He tapped his finger against his cheek now. Maybe not, but that didn't mean Luke wouldn't. If Rita saw him doing things, she'd be bound to want to try it out herself. He'd heard about her inquisitive nature, and that's what he was counting on to kick in.
"I'm taking Si-Alex on this one," Colter said, correcting himself and holding up the folder to bring it back to what they'd been discussing a moment ago.
"Fine."
Colter left without another word, and Zeke wondered if he should collect Vince or leave him be. His nature was to collect, but he also didn't want to risk pissing Colter off too much. He needed him to pick up Rita and deal with Harry at the right time. Zeke sensed that Amelia was influencing him a bit and making him waver. He couldn't have that.
No, he'd save Vince for leverage if he needed it. That would guarantee Colter would do the job. He smiled. It was perfect.
Montana, U.S.
Three Weeks Later
Rita felt herself shaking a bit after she'd confronted Luke about him pulling back and telling him she was un-loseable. Her cheeks were aflame still from him being shirtless. That just never got old it seemed. At least they were back to normal. She'd missed him a lot despite all her efforts of hanging out with him and being in his face only to have him shut her out. He'd been very good at being present but not present. She'd finally had enough of it.
And she was very grateful he'd snapped out of it and agreed to stop being an idiot. She looked forward to things getting back to normal between them.
"Rita," Lance said, holding out the phone to her as she passed. "Bridget."
"Thanks."
"Rita! I'm having a sleepover this weekend. You in?" Bridget asked without even saying hello.
"I'll ask," Rita said, covering the phone. "Dad?"
"Yea?" He looked over at her from the sink where he was doing dishes.
"Can I spend the night at Bridget's this weekend?"
"I suppose."
"He said yes," Rita said to Bridget, who squealed.
"Yay! I can't wait! It's going to be EPIC!"
Rita wasn't so sure about that, but she did have fun with Bridget most of the time. She listened to her talk about another boy she liked but didn't want to date for long as she sat on the chair (apparently she was wanting to be single in time for high school boys). When Luke appeared to assist Lance in drying the dishes, he found her eyes and gave her a smile, which made her almost melt inside.
She finally had her Luke back.
1994—December
Luke was ready for the holiday break when he went into the upstairs boy's washroom, dreading his last class. He didn't typically use that one, preferring the one on the main floor, but he had no time to run down there and back. He was smiling to himself at the gift he'd done for Rita. She'd nearly caught him a few times with his paper and pen as he attempted to rhyme (thank God for Sam, who loved doing it and gave pointers and tips...he didn't know Luke was doing it for Rita, though) or finish a cartoon doodle. He knew she'd appreciate it more than anything and feel so special, and he found he wanted to make her feel that way, especially after she convinced him to stop pushing her away.
It wasn't until he was washing his hands that he saw it.
And he froze.
"No," he said out loud. "No, no, no." He jerked his head around as if the perpetrator was still hovering and admiring his handiwork. Even though they weren't there, Luke knew exactly who it was.
"Ah, there you are," Sam said, coming in then. "Jordan was wondering if you could let him peek at your notes from science since he missed the first half hour..." He stopped short, seeing what Luke was staring at. "Oh my God."
"Give me a sharpie," Luke ordered. "Now."
"For what?"
"Just give it to me!"
Sam rummaged through his bag and pulled one out, handing it to him. Luke took it and turned every letter into the number 8, effectively making the original message unreadable, but it was going to be burned into his memory for a long time. He swallowed the bile trying to escape. It made him so sick. Then the anger took over.
"That's good," Sam said, taking it back when Luke handed it to him. "Neat trick. How did you...?"
"Not now, Sam," Luke growled. He grabbed his bag and tore out of there, charging down the halls to find Vince and/or Mike. He found Mike amongst their football friends, and he knew getting into a fight was not the wisest idea with that much help at hand for Mike. He still clenched his fist, though. It was too bad Vince wasn't there too. He'd failed at keeping his head down when he first got here, his first fight with the two of them being very memorable by a lot of people still. He'd established to others that he wasn't to be messed with except to these idiots, who still tried to jump him at times. The last time had been Rita's first day of high school, and she'd made herself a target by getting involved. He'd known that they'd hassled her off and on ever since, but this last stunt had gone way too far.
"Hey, it's the Limey," Mike scoffed when he got there. Unable to help himself, Luke dropped his bag and grabbed him by the edges of his coat, shoving him into the lockers hard.
"You think it's funny?!" he shouted. "Huh?! How dare you do that to her! You had no right to do that to her!" Many hands were pulling him off seconds later, and Luke tried to fight them off, but he was outnumbered. Mike was smirking as he walked towards Luke, who was now being held in place by five guys.
"Yea, I do think it's funny," Mike told him. "It's also justified. A humiliation for a humiliation. It was all Vince; I can't take the credit, but she had it coming." Luke tried to lunge, but he was held back.
"What's going on here?" a teacher asked, approaching. Luke was let go instantly, and he adjusted his coat before picking up his bag.
"Nothing," Luke replied.
"Doesn't look like 'nothing' to me," the teacher said. He was fed up with the Mike/Vince/Luke drama, Luke could tell. He also wasn't one to tell this to. The bell rang, and the teacher let them off with a warning. Luke went to his next class, sliding in next to Sam.
"How long do you think it was there?" Sam asked.
"I have no idea," Luke answered, feeling sick to his stomach again. He felt like he'd failed Lance in this situation. He had let her be the target of something so foul for who knew how long.
"It'll be okay," Sam said reassuringly. "These things blow over. It's high school."
"I hope so," Luke muttered. His heart ached at the thought of Rita finding this out. He was tempted to skip class and go find her, but he didn't. If she didn't know, then she never needed to know. He hoped it hadn't been there long, but his gut told him they weren't that lucky. He'd find out soon enough when he saw her later.
...
Rita felt numb. She felt horrified, broken, and beaten down. She was standing and waiting for the bus when Luke ran up to her out of breath.
"Rita," he said, and she looked at him. From his expression, she knew that he knew exactly why she was crying.
"Don't look at me," she whispered. She couldn't get the words of the boy who'd asked her to let him sleep with her (not in those words) a half hour ago. That's what had alerted her to the rumor on the wall.
"Oh, Rita," he said, ignoring her and pulling her into his arms. She let him, and once he had her safely in an embrace, she cried harder. She didn't care who was watching. She knew why Vince and Mike had done it, that their egos had been bruised by her embarrassing them during their fight with Luke, but it still hurt. Bridget had given her a look of scrutiny after finding out, as if she thought Rita was capable of being that kind of girl. Rita had never even kissed anyone, and she certainly didn't count her experience with Simon as anything. The worst part was that it had obviously been there for at least a week, so most, if not all, of the boys at school had seen it. She hadn't seen it herself, hadn't wanted to, so she didn't know what all in entailed, but she surmised it was bad enough. It made sense now why boys were making kissy faces and other gestures at her all week. She'd thought they were just being idiots. She guessed she should not have underestimated Mike and Vince, and the worst part was that Luke had warned her and she'd been stupid enough to dismiss his concerns.
She buried her face against Luke's chest as he kept holding her close, his hand against the back of her head. If she wasn't so upset, she'd stop and appreciate being this close to him.
"I'm sorry," he said. "I'm so sorry."
"It's...not your...fault," she said around her tears.
"I got rid of it."
"Okay. You didn't tell the principal did you?"
"Not yet..."
"Don't," she ordered fiercely.
"Rita..."
"Don't!" she said louder, making a few people look at her as they walked by. One of them smirked, so she knew that they were aware of the rumor.
"Why not?" Luke asked. "If it helps end this with them..."
"He'll call Dad," Rita replied, gripping his coat in her hands tightly. "Please don't tell him because I don't want Dad to know."
"Rita," he tried again, but she gave him a shake.
"No," she said strongly. "Dad is never to know." She held his gaze, and he looked like he was going to argue but eventually let his jaw go loose and nodded.
"Fine," he said. "But I'm not happy about it."
"Too bad." She pushed into him again to continue the embrace. Their bus arrived, and they had to stop and get on, which aggravated Rita more than anything. She went to sit in her seat, surprised when Luke sat down beside her.
"Unspoken rules be damned," he said, putting his arm around her, and she leaned into him. She knew he'd move before they picked up Keira so as to avoid her asking questions (she hoped that today was a day Lucy had picked her up instead). Bridget got on a moment later and lifted a brow at them before sitting down in front of them. She turned to look at Rita.
"Everyone knows who you are now," she commented. "Why didn't you tell me? I thought I was your friend."
"Shut up, Bridget," Luke retorted. She made a "whatever" expression and turned back forward. Rita felt him pull her against him a bit tighter, and she reached to hold onto his jacket, her fingers curling around the zipper and resting against his chest.
"I really think you should tell him," he started.
"No, we are not telling Dad," she said.
"Rita..."
"Don't," she said stronger. She felt him sigh a bit roughly, not saying anything else. She didn't want her father to worry about her. She was a big girl; she'd deal with it.
And besides, she had Luke.
...
Two days after Christmas, Luke saw Vince at a gathering at Randall's place. Randall was some guy from school whose parents were barely home, so he had a lot of "gatherings." Luke liked to attend just to be in the know of what was going on and to socialize a little bit. Otherwise, he didn't really drink and definitely didn't do drugs. He had no desire to lose touch with reality, to be vulnerable to an attack, and he didn't want to end up like Johnny anyhow. He'd always wanted to be a part of something social since he was never allowed to, so this was the best place for it.
He was sitting with Jordan, Sam, and Mel and half listening to them talking while thinking about if Copper was okay with Lance and Rita and how he'd heard her crying in the barn earlier when she thought she was alone. This whole rumor thing was affecting her, and he hated that she kept telling him it didn't. Hearing her cry made him hurt inside so badly, and he wanted justice.
"Uh oh," Jordan said, and Luke turned his head to see Vince waltzing by. He was alone, which was abnormal, but apparently Mike had gone away for the holidays, so he was all alone.
A prime target.
"Luke," Mel warned as he stood up.
"Go get 'im," Jordan egged him on.
"Be careful," Sam said, the worrier of the group. Luke ignored all of them and strode over to Vince. He had one shot at this, and he'd make it count.
"Hey," he said, making Vince turn around. His fist slammed into Vince's nose hard and fast, and Vince gave a scream before lashing out. Luke easily dodged him and went to grab him around the waist and dump him onto the floor. They were swarmed immediately by the crowd. Luke could hear his acquaintances yelling at him to stop. He rammed his fist into Vince's ribs more than once. A broken nose was one thing...having a completely damaged face was another, and Luke didn't want him to look that bad for anyone to ask a lot of questions. Vince was screaming and swearing while trying to hit him back. His nose was bleeding everywhere.
Arms pulled him up and back. Jordan's voice in his ear was telling him "enough, enough." Luke looked down at Vince, who was glaring up at him.
"You're dead, Limey!" he shouted.
"You do anything to her again, and I will end you," Luke threatened. "You hear me? You think this is all I can do? Huh? Don't test me!"
"Luke," Melissa said, grabbing his shoulder. "Stop."
"You can't watch her 24/7, Lukey," Vince taunted, starting to get up now. "And she started it, remember? She shouldn't have messed with me! With either of us!"
"Come on," Jordan urged, pulling Luke away. "Someone called the cops." He looked to see everyone rushing out of the house now. He stopped fighting Jordan and hustled to Mel's jeep where she was waiting.
"You got him good," Sam commented once they were on the road.
"Yea, he's gonna look like a raccoon for a while," Jordan cackled. Mel said nothing, and Luke knew she was not impressed. He felt bad because she experienced violence more often than not and hated it, but he just couldn't stand letting Vince get away with it. He knew Rita would be mad at him when she found out, but he hoped she'd just think Vince had an accident or something.
"Where to?" Mel finally asked. The night was still young after all.
"Anyone up for some pool?" Sam inquired hopefully.
"Let's do it," Jordan answered. Luke rested his head back on the headrest and closed his eyes. His hand was throbbing, but it was worth it.
...
Rita didn't know how to feel as she sat across from Bridget on Bridget's bed. She hadn't even wanted to come here, but if she didn't go, her father would want to know why, and she didn't want to say why.
"I don't get it," Bridget said now. "You said you haven't even kissed anyone..."
"I haven't," Rita insisted fiercely. "It's a lie, Bridge. Vince made it up because he's a bully."
"You're sure?"
"Yes! Why won't you believe me?" Rita watched her friend pick at her fingers and look down before looking back up at her.
"I've had friends lie to me before," she replied finally. "I chose to believe them, and I got really hurt, so now I have a hard time trusting sometimes."
"Well, I swear to you that I have never done anything in that department ever," Rita said strongly. "Okay?"
"Okay."
"Can we just get over it now?"
"Are you doing okay? I mean, it's gotta be hurtful..."
"It is, but I'll be fine."
"I'm here if you ever want to talk about it. Unless you just prefer talking to Luke about it."
"I'll talk if I need to," Rita promised. She finally got a smile from her friend and returned it. She didn't like being awkward around Bridget. She was glad this was sorted out.
"Come on," Bridget said now, sliding off the bed. "Mom's got a stash of chocolate we can raid." Rita followed, not intending to indulge in the thievery but also not wanting to be left behind. She didn't have to worry in the end because Bridget's mother was all too happy to share. Rita did her best to stay in the moment and not wonder where Luke was or what he was doing with Melissa since she'd picked him up earlier.
She just hoped he wouldn't fall for Mel, but after seeing the effort he'd gone through to create her gift this year, she had a feeling that she was special to him. She couldn't explain it, but it made her feel happy. Thus, if he felt that way, then maybe he wasn't interested in anyone else. She'd never know.
She could only hope.
1995—January
Luke still hated the cold. It was January, and he and Rita were waiting for the bus together. Keira was sick today, so she was staying home. Sometimes he liked her enthusiasm so early in the morning and other times he wished she didn't have so much energy.
He looked over at Rita now, knowing that she was struggling still with the whole rumor thing Vince and Mike had started about her. He wished for the millionth time that she hadn't come to his rescue that day and gotten herself in their sights.
The worst was when they'd insinuate to Luke what they'd do to Rita if they ever got her alone. He'd see red and almost lose it if Jordan or Sam weren't around to settle him down. Luke was spending more time with them lately, realizing that he didn't always want to be alone anymore. Melissa sometimes joined them, but she kept to herself more often than not. Luke knew she was avoiding Sam, and he wished she wouldn't. He wished she could see that Sam would treasure her forever and never hurt her.
"I wish you had a car," Rita muttered now, stamping her feet.
"You and me both," he replied. He had the vest she'd made him on, but it was still cold. Copper wouldn't even come out with them, which was saying something. He still couldn't believe she'd gotten him a dog for Christmas. She was something special, that was for sure. He looked at her, seeing how adult she looked. She was almost 15 but could be pegged for 18 at times. His heart slightly pinged, which alarmed him. He swallowed and looked away.
"Finally," she groaned when the bus chugged into view. He let her get on first as always, making his way to the very back while she said at the halfway point. There weren't a ton of other kids on there anyway, but Luke still sat at the back with the older ones as per the unspoken rule.
At school, he mostly did his own thing while Rita did hers, but there were times they'd sit together at lunch. Bridget was running around trying to get a boyfriend while Rita did her best to stay invisible.
Today, he found himself gravitating towards her since she was by herself. He didn't feel up to listening to Sam talk about Melissa and how he still loved her but she didn't notice him yet. Luke had never told him he'd given away that secret a while ago, and it was a good thing because it appeared Melissa was never going to act on it, which would break Sam's heart for good he figured.
"What's up?" he asked, sitting down beside Rita. She shrugged.
"Nothing."
"Doesn't look like nothing."
"I'm just sitting here," she retorted, giving him an annoyed look. He smiled in return. He got some respectful nods from some kids as they passed, which he hadn't asked for but appreciated all the same. It was nice to be left alone for the most part. Mike and Vince were thankfully going to be gone at the end of the year. It was the only thing that made Luke feel grateful to have been kept back a year.
He looked at Rita, knowing something was really bugging her. He decided to press harder.
"I can read you like a book, you know," he said. "What happened?"
She blurted out the question, and he stared at her. Was she seriously asking him this?
"Uh..." he tried.
"Guys keep asking me to do it," she went on. "It's one of the favors that was on the wall that I apparently do, so I might as well know what the hell it is, and you're the only one I can ask. I'm definitely not asking Bridget."
"Who is asking you?" he demanded. He'd cave in all of their skulls. Every last one of them. He had so hoped that the details of that damn wall scribbling wouldn't reach her ears. He still wanted to throw up just thinking about it.
"Just random guys," she dismissed, knowing him well enough to not tell him. "Luke, what is it?"
"I really don't..."
"Luke, just tell me," she interrupted, firm. He sighed. He didn't want to, but he didn't want her to be made fun of, either, for not knowing what it is that she was being claimed to be so good at. He told her, and she looked like she was going to vomit.
"I gotta go," she said, lurching to her feet.
"Rita..."
"That's so...disgusting," she said. "I just...oh my God." She walked away with her bag, and he resisted following. He knew she wanted to be left alone. He caught sight of Vince, then, who smirked. Luke was about to get up and go over there to give him a beating, but the bell rang. He clenched his fist.
This was definitely not over.
...
Rita was crying in the bathroom. It had been over a month, and it hadn't blown over like she'd hoped. If anything, it was worse. Girls were sneering at her and accusing her of trying to steal their boyfriends. People called her a slut. Boys approached her asking for these favors, and she just couldn't take it anymore. Finally learning about the one she didn't know of was the last straw. Then she felt stupid for not knowing, but really...why would that come up in health class?
"Are you okay?" Melissa asked after Rita came out of the stall all red eyed and tear stained.
"Yea."
"It'll be old news before you know it," Melissa offered with a small smile. "Trust me." Rita still wasn't really sure about her since she'd kissed Luke after all and hung out with him more often than Rita liked, but she kind of did trust her opinion because she was a nice girl otherwise.
"Just keep my head up, right?" Rita confirmed.
"Right."
"Hey, you know that Sam really likes you, right?" Rita asked, unable to help herself. She'd watched Sam pine over Melissa for long enough whenever she'd hung out with him, Luke, and Jordan, and she remembered Luke telling her himself in the barn that time. Luke had told her to stay out of it, but she couldn't help herself.
"I know," Melissa said softly.
"Then why not go out with him?"
"He deserves better."
"What?" Rita was stunned. "How can you say that?"
Melissa gave her a sad smile now, finishing drying her hands. "There's a lot more to me than you see, Rita." She offered nothing else, and Rita tried to say something else, but Melissa slipped out the bathroom before she could.
Rita went to class, knowing she'd stepped in it but at least Melissa hadn't been angry. She was just sad. It made Rita suddenly really want to know what had happened to her. She knew it had something to do with abuse after eavesdropping on her conversation with Luke a while ago. It made her feel sad that Melissa thought it tainted her for good for anyone else.
Cuba
It was one of those rare times where Rosie worked with Wes. Zeke had insisted that they go together for this job, and Rosie wasn't sure why. Wes was supposed to be dead after all.
"Don't worry about it," Wes said, looking through the scope of his rifle and seeking out the target.
"I am worried about it," Rosie stated, sitting next to him with her arms crossed. The wind was tugging at her a bit violently. She could see Wes trying to keep the rifle steady.
"It's like riding a bike, little sister," he replied, squinting his left eye shut now. Rosie chewed the inside of her bottom lip, watching him. Then she took her eye off of him to scan the crowd below, and that's when it happened.
A shot rang out in the air, and her brother was suddenly no longer in position but on the ground with blood spilling everywhere.
"WESLEY!" Rosie shrieked as another bullet whizzed over her head. She grabbed his ankles and hauled him behind cover, peeking to see if she could get the rifle. A bullet nicked the space above her head, and she pulled it back quickly.
Wes swore as he looked at his bloody hand. Rosie scanned him quickly, seeing that he'd been shot in the side. She couldn't tell how badly without taking his coat and shirt off.
"We're pinned down, Wes," she said, cursing too.
"I know roughly where he's at," Wes stated, pulling out his pistol from his back holster. "I'll cover you. Get the rifle."
"On three," she said, and he nodded. He moved and fired as Rosie ran for the gun. She managed to grab it and get back just as a bullet went flying past her.
"Second window third from the right," Wes told her. She wasn't sure how she was going to pull this off since she had minimal cover, but she'd do her best. She could hear shouting from below, chaos from all the gunfire. She knew their target would be long gone by now.
"He's gonna be pissed," she said, referring to Zeke.
"I'll handle it. Get to the other side. I'll keep distracting this guy."
Rosie waited for him to lean out and fire again before running to the opposite side of the roof. She had a little bit of cover there and got set up. She could see the sniper now. She held her breath, lined up the shot, and pulled the trigger.
"Nice," Wes said from his spot. "You got 'im."
She waited a moment in case someone else popped up, but after thirty seconds, nothing happened. She raced back to Wes, who was coughing now.
"Shit, you're bleeding out," she said, taking off her coat and cramming it against his wound.
"It's nothing," Wes replied, waving his hand in a dismissive gesture. She collected everything and helped him down the stairs. It was a miracle no one saw them in the building. Once on the street, people just assumed he'd been a victim of the shooting, but everyone was too panicked to offer assistance, which Rosie was fine with. She walked him to their car in the alley and got him inside it. She looked at him and knew he needed a hospital.
"You have your fake I.D.?" she asked him.
"What is this? Amateur hour?" he countered.
"I can't fix you up this time."
"That's fine. We'll say it was a shooting and I got hit."
"I'm no amateur either," she retorted, and he cracked a smile. Then he started to pass out. "Wes? Wes! Stay with me!"
She felt him reach and grab her leg, giving it a squeeze before his hand slid off and his head rolled back. She started to cry, feeling as though she was going to lose her brother. She couldn't let that happen.
She skidded into a hospital parking lot, getting out and screaming for help. She decided to play the hysterical sibling of a shooting victim, and they got him in quickly. She shared his fake I.D. with them, and no one asked any questions. Once he was taken into surgery, she called her father.
"What do you mean, Wesley is in the hospital?" Zeke asked, sounding very pissed. "What did you do wrong?"
"There was a sniper watching for us," she said. "Caught us off guard."
"So you didn't scout everything before setting up?"
"We did. They came after."
"There is no excuse for this, Amelia," Zeke growled. "If he dies..."
"He's gonna be fine," Rosie cut him off, gripping the phone tightly in her hand.
"And the target?"
"I'll get him."
"No, you're compromised. I'm sending a new team."
"Come on..."
"End of discussion." And he hung up. Rosie hated when he pulled rank like that. She slammed the phone down and pressed her fingers against the bridge of her nose before sliding them down her cheeks. She went to sit, waiting for someone to tell her if her brother was alive or dead. A few hours later, she was approached, and she sat up straight. She swallowed the anxiety in her throat.
"Ms. Cuttingham?" the doctor asked.
"Yes?"
"Your brother is in recovery. He was very, very lucky, but we did have to remove a kidney as it was badly damaged."
"A...a kidney?"
"He'll be alright," the doctor assured her. "He can be discharged in a couple of days."
Rosie knew they'd be out of there long before that, but she just smiled and thanked the doctor before going to find Wes. He was sleeping with his head turned to the left. She sat down next to him and reached to take his hand.
"What's the damage?" he asked, startling her. She hadn't realized he was already awake.
"Um, they had to remove a kidney," she replied.
"Eh, I didn't need it anyway."
"Wes..."
"It's fine, luv. Just don't ask me for a kidney...I don't have any to spare," he added, smirking. His eyes were still closed.
"You're an idiot," Rosie retorted, but she was so relieved all the same.
"When are we busting out of here?"
"As soon as you can move."
"Give me an hour or two," he said. "I'm still a bit groggy."
"Okay."
"Zeke send a new team?"
"Yea."
"Good luck to 'em. I'm ready to get the hell out of here."
Rosie didn't say anything else, and he adjusted himself before falling back to sleep. She sat there next to him until it was dark, there was less staff, and he was ready to move. The whole drive back to the safe house was spent overthinking about what her life would be like if she'd lost her brother.
It was not something she ever wanted to have happen.
1995—April
Montana, U.S.
Lance was enjoying the grin on Luke's face after seeing the black Charger car he'd brought home for him. It needed a lot of work, but that was why he got it for so cheap from Andy. He'd made sure Luke had his license regardless, and now he just needed wheels. He'd turned 18 not that long ago after all (although he did not know the exact date...Luke never shared that for some reason), and he felt a bit bad that the boy was a year older than his peers at school, so having a car should help with that. Lance wasn't really sure why that was important, but he wasn't going to analyze it.
"This is gonna look amazing when it's done," Luke said, leaning over the engine. Lance was standing next to him. He felt in this moment what it would be like to have a son, and it surprised him that he was starting to think of Luke as his son. Where had that come from?
Damn...so that was why the car was important.
"I don't doubt it."
Luke was smiling as he kept examining everything. Lance observed quietly. He had a suspicion that something had happened at school with Rita as she'd been a bit unlike herself in the last while, but Luke hadn't told him anything major, so he was second guessing himself. Surely Luke would tell him if something bad had happened?
"Everything alright at school?" he asked, unable to help himself. Luke met his eyes.
"Yea," he answered. "They're good." Lance surveyed him carefully, but Luke was giving nothing away.
"I haven't seen any chafed knuckles in a while."
"The bullies have chosen a different kid to pick on for now."
"I see."
Luke ran his hand along the side of the car as he walked down it. Lance waited him out, but he didn't offer anything else. After a while, he left and went to find Rita, who was coming back from a ride on Willow.
"Hi, Dad," she said, hopping off and leading Willow to the barn. He followed.
"What's new, McGoo?"
"McGoo?" Rita repeated, lifting a brow.
"I have no idea," Lance admitted, chuckling. "It just came out." She smiled slightly, putting Willow into her stall and then going to remove the saddle and reins.
"Nothing is new," she offered after a moment.
"Things okay at school?" He watched her stiffen slightly before relaxing again.
"Fine," she answered. "Things are fine."
He didn't fully believe her, but he didn't want to press either. He knew better than to do that. Pressing only made people shut down faster.
"Okay," he said, giving her a smile. "I'm off to make supper."
"Thanks, Dad. I'll be in shortly."
"Take your time."
He left her there, heading back to the house. Copper was waiting for him, licking his lips and whining for scraps. Lance gave him a pat before going to the kitchen. He enjoyed the dog, although he wouldn't admit that out loud. Luke had done well to train him for the most part. It had been fun to watch the pup grow and become a part of the household.
"Good dog," he said as Copper sat next to him while he started to prep. He liked the warmth of the dog leaning against his leg. It was comforting.
1995—June
Montana, U.S.
It was so nice to finally have a car. Luke had fixed up the Charger Lance had brought home for him, and he was driving both himself and Rita to school now. It was seventh heaven not having to stand and wait for that damn bus anymore. Rita had tried to say it was technically hers since he'd finished it right before her birthday. The "Fun Fifteen" event Bridget had orchestrated had involved a lot of squealing girls (Rita excluded...they were more Bridget's friends anyway), which had made him and Lance retreat somewhere quieter where Rita had eventually joined them and told them to never let Bridget do this to her ever again. Ever. They'd both solemnly swore they wouldn't. Luke smiled as he thought about the game night they'd had with Lucy and Kenny after supper with Rita destroying him at trivia. Her victory dance had been worth the loss. It was nice to see her happy; he was glad she'd taken his advice a year ago.
Luke hadn't heard much of the rumor about Rita since March. It had slowly petered out, but it wasn't forgotten entirely. He knew she kept her feelings about it to herself, which he wished she wouldn't. He knew it still ate at her. At least Bridget had come around to believing her and supported her. He saw Rita now, sitting alone, so he made his way to sit with her, opting out of the chatter of Sam and Jordan today.
"Mind if I join?" he asked.
"Be my guest," she replied. He sat to her left, pulling out his lunch and devouring it. He was starving. He held his apple in his left hand, which was strange because he was right handed, but sometimes he liked to use both his hands to ensure he could do anything with either and not worry about getting let down by his own clumsiness.
"What're you doing?" he asked when Rita suddenly took his right wrist in her hand and pulled it towards her.
"You'll see," she replied. He decided to just let her do whatever she was doing. He scanned the cafeteria, glad they were being left alone. Mike and Vince were huddled in the corner, but their attention was not on him or Rita. Something else had them riled up. Luke was mildly curious as to what it could be.
"Ow," he said, feeling something dig into him a little too hard and looking at her to see she was drawing with a pen on him. "Rita, what the hell are you doing?"
"Designing a tattoo," she answered logically.
"Why?"
"I'm bored."
"So doodle on a piece of paper," he said, trying to take his arm back. She held onto it firmly, though.
"I'm not done," she insisted. He let her be. Her fingers touching his was causing an interesting feeling to go throughout him, one that he'd been starting to have a bit too often lately and made him nervous. Her hair was sliding forward as she bent over his wrist, a look of determination on her face. He wondered how close she was to sticking her tongue out of the corner of her mouth. He wondered what she would do if he put his fingers under her chin to make her look at him and then...
"Sorry I'm late," Bridget said, flopping down across from them with a clatter. Luke jolted at the sudden movement, coming back from his daydream and making Rita's pen dig into his skin again. He grunted, but she still held on.
"Where were you?" Rita asked without looking at her.
"Um, just talking to Jake," she answered vaguely. Luke could plainly see her lips had been ravaged only moments before. He resisted scoffing. Bridget swiped at her hair and frowned at Rita.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"She's decided to be a tattoo artist," Luke answered for her. "I'm her first victim."
"Let me see," Bridget said, moving to rest on her knees so she could lean in closer. Luke turned his head away to avoid her cleavage. He was pretty sure she'd done it on purpose. She still wasn't shy about letting him know she fancied him but was careful to not do too much in front of Rita.
"Not yet," Rita barked, jerking Luke's arm closer to her so she could hide it.
"I do need my arm back," he told her.
"When I'm finished," she said. He noticed others were getting up and getting ready to leave the cafeteria now. Lunch was almost over.
"You better hurry up," he said. "Cos I'm not dragging you to History with me."
"You'd be coming to Math with me," she corrected.
"Is that so?" He looked at Vince walking by, and the guy flipped him the finger. Luke didn't even respond, just acted like he hadn't seen.
"Yes," Rita confirmed.
"And it's okay if I miss my class?"
"Yep."
"I don't see how that's fair."
"Just, shush," Rita ordered, trying to concentrate.
"Okay, weirdos," Bridget said, wrinkling her nose. "I'll see you later." She got up and left, and Luke was beginning to feel a bit antsy. He didn't like being late to things.
"Rita, I gotta go," he said, tugging his arm away from her.
"Done," she said, letting it go and slapping her pen down on the table. His wrist hurt, but he felt surprised as he surveyed her work and how good it was. She'd drawn the letter "R" in a cursive font and added leaves to the end of the looped line that was attached to the top left of the letter and a rose tucked in the curl at the bottom left of the letter with another outside of the loop on the top right of the letter.
"Well?" she asked, sounding worried.
"That's actually really decent," he answered, looking at her next.
"Yea?"
"Yea. Good job."
She flushed and bent to pick up her bag to avoid looking at him. Luke had grown used to her blushing and flushing at him. He actually thought it was kind of sweet. He knew he didn't deserve her crush, but she kept it all the same. The thing was: Knowing about her crush was making him start to think things...like what he'd thought of barely ten minutes ago.
"Alright," he said, getting up and slinging his bag over his shoulder. "See you at the end of the day. Don't be late. Rosalee leaves at exactly 3:20."
"I know, I know," Rita huffed. "Ass in seat by 3:19."
"I will make you walk this time if you're late," Luke warned, and she rolled her eyes. He followed her out and down the hall until they went their separate ways. When he got to class, he slid into his seat at the back and pulled out his textbook and notepad. As the teacher droned on, he kept peeking at his wrist, getting little jolts of energy in his chest and stomach when he saw her tattoo there.
And that's when he realized he wasn't sure if he could keep his promise to Lance.
...
"What?" Rita asked when she saw Luke's face after getting into his car. "I'm on time! I'm actually early!"
"I didn't say anything," he retorted, starting the engine.
"Your face says something is up," she said, gesturing with her hand. He didn't say anything. Rita noticed her tattoo was gone, and she felt a bit disappointed. Then again, her father would freak out if he saw it there, so it was probably good thinking on Luke's part to get rid of it.
"Nothing is up," he said, sounding a little annoyed. She decided to drop it. She knew he got into a mood sometimes; she figured it was to do with his life before he'd arrived at the farm. She wished he would tell her more about it.
"Whoa!" she yelped as a car cut them off, making Luke slam on the brakes. She barely put her hands out to catch the dash in time, her heart pounding. Luke was muttering some swear words under his breath as he watched the red mustang peel away.
"Was that Vince?" she asked.
"Yea."
"What an arsehole," she growled, sitting back in her seat. Luke got them onto the road home, and she rested her elbow on the door, propping her face with her hand. When they got to the farm, she looked over at Luke as he parked and shut the engine off.
"How come you never have Sam or Jordan over?" she asked.
"Why would I do that?"
"Cos they're your friends?"
"They're just school mates," he answered, pushing his door open now. "Who I sometimes hang out with at a gathering. That's all."
"So you don't want any friends?" she inquired, getting out after him. He scoffed.
"I have you. How many friends do I need?"
"You're a very complicated creature," she advised, making him laugh out loud.
"I know, and I like it that way," he replied, heading to the house with her on his heels. Lance wasn't home yet, so they started on the chores before Rita went in to start supper. She appreciated that Luke would help her when he could, which he did tonight. She covered a plate for her father since it was obvious he was working late, and after cleaning up, she started on her homework. Both she and Luke were in the living room studying and writing notes when Lance finally got there.
"Sorry, guys," he said, hanging up his hat and kicking off his boots. "Long day today."
"There's a plate in the fridge," Rita said.
"Thank you, luv."
She went back to her text book, wishing the school year would hurry up and be done with. She wanted to enjoy the summer.
"Alright," Luke said, slamming his pencil down and making her jump. "I'm done with this. I'm going cross eyed."
"Quitter," she said, and he scoffed.
"I'm out," he replied, ruffling her hair on his way past. She exclaimed and swatted at the air where his hand had been. Copper was rushing alongside Luke, thinking he was going to get a treat. It was fun training him, but he was definitely Luke's dog. Rita liked when he came to sleep on her feet, though, which was maybe once a week. He preferred sleeping with Luke.
"Good night," Luke said to her now, and she waved at him without replying. She reached to fiddle with her bracelet like she did when she was feeling stressed out or bored. Bridget had never commented on it, thankfully. Rita didn't want her to go on about Luke giving her gifts. That was special to her and between them. If her father knew, he didn't let on.
When she finally went to bed, she closed her eyes and daydreamed about what it would be like to kiss Luke. She figured she would never know, and that made her stomach hurt.
But she dreamed about it anyway.
...
Luke wondered if Rita had picked up on his mood shift earlier. He'd been berating himself all day for having the tiniest of feelings for her and imagining what kissing her would be like; he thought if he worked hard enough, he could stuff it down to his toes and keep it there. He knew if he didn't, Lance would kick him out, and he didn't want to leave. He felt at home here, so if he had to deal with hiding feelings in order to stay, then he'd do it. He wasn't going to talk about it with anyone else. He was 18, and he knew most people would find it weird that he liked a 15 year old, but what they didn't realize was: she felt more like his age. He couldn't explain it.
"Settle down," he ordered Copper, who was snuffling and adjusting and shaking his entire bed with indecision of where to flop down to sleep. The dog finally obeyed, stretching out so that his nose was against Luke's hand. He left it there, feeling comforted by it. Then he realized he could tell someone about it. He ran his fingers across Copper's soft muzzle.
"I'm falling for her, Copper," he said very quietly. "And I have no idea what to do about it." He felt the dog's tongue slip through his fingers and across his palm in response. He scoffed slightly in the dark, smiling a little. He knew Copper understood exactly what he was saying.
1995—July
Montana, U.S.
Rita had no idea why she was doing this. She stood with Bridget at the edge of the dock at the lake, and she wondered why she was even here because she was afraid of the water and was definitely not going to be swimming today. She felt way too exposed in her swimsuit and hugged herself tightly as if that would hide her. Why had she let Bridget talk her into wearing a damn two piece?!
"This is uhmazing," Bridget groaned after jumping off the dock. It was a public boat launch/beach, and Rita had only come along because her father told her to get lost for a while. That meant getting a ride from Luke, and that meant having Luke see her in this state. As a result, it meant she was bloody embarrassed but also wondering if he'd noticed she looked more womanly than she used to.
"Looks cold," she commented, trying to rationalize the thousands of goose bumps that went over her skin at the thought of Luke watching her. She glanced sideways to see him busy throwing a stick for Copper along the shoreline.
"Oh, it is not," Bridget retorted. "Come on, 'fraidy cat. Jump in!"
"I'm good."
"Ritaaa," Bridget whined. Then she cupped her hands over her mouth. "LUKE! Make her go in!"
"No!" Rita exclaimed, feeling like she might die of embarrassment instead of drowning. She jumped back when Bridget lunged to grab her ankle. She walked to the shoreline and stood away from the waves.
"What's up?" Luke asked, dragging Copper alongside him since the dog wouldn't let go of the stick he was holding. Rita could barely handle the sight of his bare chest and muscles flexing. At least she could blame her flushing on a sun burn.
"Just not into it," she answered with a shrug.
"That's fine," he said back easily. "Here, throw this for him. He's not letting go of this one." He held out a different stick, which she took. Then she hurled it into the water hard, and Copper immediately let go of the one Luke was holding and ran after it. She watched as he walked to his shins in water and laughed as Copper splashed and shook all over him, playing keep away with the stick while also trying to get the one Luke was holding. Rita edged closer to the water. It couldn't be that bad, could it? She flinched as a wave crashed over her feet, but it wasn't as cold as she thought it would be. She held out her hands in front of her as Copper came bounding towards her through the water.
"Oh no," she said, "no, no, no!" She shielded her head with her arms as Copper soaked her. "Copper!"
"Come here, you lug," Luke said, catching Copper by the collar and maneuvering him out of the way. Rita dropped her arms and gave him an almost helpless look. Copper pulled, trying to go after Bridget, who was now on the dock and waving a new stick at him. Luke let him go, and the dog took off while he turned back to Rita.
"What's got you stuck?" he asked. She felt warm at his gaze, which conveyed empathy and caring. She felt like she could tell him; she wasn't even sure what prevented her from saying it out loud. Maybe she was afraid Simon would pop out and try and drown her again for telling. She didn't know.
"I just...I'm not a fan of water," she said, chickening out.
"So how can we get you acquainted with it?" Luke asked.
"I don't think I can..." She trailed off, feeling uncertain. She did long to be a normal person who could enjoy a day at the bloody beach.
"How about," he started, surprising her by reaching to take her hand, "we just go for a stroll? It's mostly shallow. We can stop when you get uncomfortable."
Rita felt like she couldn't breathe. This was the first time they'd officially held hands. Sure, there had been times where they'd bumped hands or their fingers had touched accidentally, but this was intentional. Her brain went blank, solely focused on how warm his hand was in hers and how safe it made her feel.
"Rita?" he prompted, and she snapped her head up to look at him.
"Uh, yea," she said, clearing her throat. "We can try I guess." He gave her that crooked smile that always melted her into a puddle, and then he pulled her with him into the water.
At first, it was fine. Rita walked slowly, her focus mostly on the feel of his fingers intertwined with hers. She could see Bridget observing and looking impressed or disgruntled (Rita couldn't tell...she didn't entirely trust that Bridget didn't have a crush on Luke herself despite promising she wouldn't). Copper was still playing with her, though, so she didn't approach them.
"You good?" Luke asked, and she looked at him. Was her heart racing because of fear or because of how close he was standing to her? She couldn't tell.
"Yea," she replied, giving a small smile. She looked away for a moment before looking back, and she caught him peeking at her, which made his face go red for once. She felt a tumble in her lower belly, pleased that he'd noticed her. As a result, though, he moved to let go of her hand, but she held on.
"Don't let go," she said, the panic overcoming her happy feeling. They were up to their waists now. She stopped abruptly.
"I got you," he promised, stopping with her. Rita tried to breathe as she stood there, the waves banging into her. This shouldn't be so hard. Why was it so hard?
"I can't," she said, shaking her head.
"What if I show you how far I can go and still be okay?" he asked. "Then you can walk out to me."
"I...I don't know..."
"Here," he said, letting her go and backing out slowly so he was still facing her. When he got to his chest just under his arms, he stopped. "See? Still good."
Rita hugged herself, feeling her racing heart under her arm. She swallowed. She wanted to do this. She really did. She moved a step. Then another. And another.
"That's it," Luke said, holding a hand out to her. "Not so bad, eh?"
She gave a curt nod, keeping focused. She was almost there. Then her foot slipped on a rock, and she pitched forward. The blind panic was instant when she went under. All she could feel was Simon's hand on the back of her head, holding her down. All she could think of was how it felt to not be able to breathe and know the end was near. Somehow, she got disoriented and didn't know which way was up or down. Hands grabbed her and yanked her up, and she surfaced spewing and sobbing, which made her feel so stupid.
"I got you," Luke said, holding her as she clung to him like a piece of shipwreck. "It's okay. I got you, Rita."
"I c-can't," she stuttered, teeth chattering now. "I can't."
"Just breathe," he said, still holding her. She was aware that her legs were around his waist and he was moving into shore slowly. "Breathe it out."
Rita held him tightly, trying to breathe through her tears. Being glued against him was just about lost in her anxiety, but she felt a slight burn at this contact. A good burn. At waist deep, he set her down while resting his hands on her shoulders.
"You're okay," he promised. She nodded, feeling embarrassed all over again. She pushed her hair back before wiping at her eyes and hugged one arm around herself.
"I'm sorry."
"You don't have to apologize, Rita. We'll try again another time, okay?"
"Sure." She really wasn't planning on it, but she didn't have the heart to argue with him. He put a hand on her back between her shoulders and guided her to shore. She grabbed her towel and wrapped it around herself tightly. Bridget was there now with Copper.
"What happened?" she asked, frowning.
"I don't want to talk about it," Rita answered.
"But..."
"I don't want to talk about it!" Rita said louder. Bridget closed her mouth and nodded, moving to hug her. Sometimes, her friend could be caring, like now. She had also been caring whenever Rita started to cry about stupid Vince.
And to this day, that stupid rumor still caused her hurt, but she buried it well. She didn't like admitting it still brought her down at times.
Rita closed her eyes, feeling like a moron and a child. She didn't want to see Luke looking at her with concern in his eyes. Eventually, she pulled back from Bridget and went to sit on the rock point. She let the wind dry her off while absently picking the dead skin off her heels. When Luke joined her a few moments later, she kept her eyes on the water. She did notice he had put his shirt back on, though.
"Are you ever gonna tell me?" he asked, and she finally looked at him. She didn't want to. If she opened up the jar of Simon now, everything would come out, and she didn't want him to think less of her.
"No," she replied. "I'm sorry. There's just some things you're never gonna know about me." She was quoting him, and she knew he knew it based on the nod he gave in return.
"It's alright. Just know that I will listen, if you ever want to," he advised. She nodded, and he reached to pat her hand softly before getting up. "We're ready to go whenever you are."
Rita barely remembered following him to the car. She barely remembered the ride home. She'd pulled on shorts and a t-shirt again to hide the two piece from her father. She figured he'd have a conniption fit if he knew she was parading around like that in front of Luke, that his head would explode knowing she'd been clinging to him at one point. After dropping Bridget off, they went home, and Rita absently petted Copper, whose head was resting on her shoulder now as they pulled up the driveway.
"You know that being afraid of something doesn't make you weak, right?" Luke asked when he shut the engine off. She turned her head to face him again. She could tell he was being genuine.
"I know," she said softly.
He nodded. "Good."
Copper was out the door like a lightning bolt once Luke opened it, clambering over everything to get there. Rita pushed her door open and stood up, shading her eyes with her hand. She could have sworn she saw something on top of the rock wall, but there wasn't anything there.
It must have been a trick of light.
...
Luke wished that Rita wouldn't feel so bad for what happened. If he'd known her fear of water was that intense, he would have taken it slower. All he could do now was reassure her that he didn't think any less of her.
Hell, he was having trouble not thinking any more about her. If he'd known she was going to wear a string bikini like that, let alone be in his arms tight against him, he probably wouldn't have gone. He hadn't failed to notice that she was becoming more womanly every day. Today just made it even more evident; anyone on the outside would have looked at her and thought she was 19 or more. As it were, he was grateful no git had been there ogling at her and making him beat them up for doing so.
He started on the chores, looking up when Rita came to assist after changing into her overalls and t-shirt. They didn't say anything, but they didn't have to. Luke's mind wandered to the fact he'd also held her hand earlier and that she'd caught him staring at her. It wandered to how warm she'd been against him as he carried her and how he wished they were both older and without the promise to Lance. He wondered what she was thinking about it.
He wondered if she knew how hard it was for him to stop himself from thinking about what it would be like to kiss her.
...
Rosie had almost gotten caught, but as she walked quickly to her rental car down the road, she knew she was safe. She knew she wasn't supposed to be there, but she couldn't help but check in on her family. She had a bit more leeway lately, and she wanted to make sure everything was okay on the farm. She wanted to make sure that Luke was becoming more invested in a family life and stepping away from becoming an assassin. It turned out that Lance was still training him, but Rosie could see that Luke was bonding with both her husband and daughter a lot, probably more than he thought he would. Rosie could see something was blossoming between Luke and Rita, and she wasn't sure how to feel about it. Jess hadn't been the greatest person in Rosie's life, but that didn't mean her son had to be punished for it. Rosie just didn't want Rita to be exposed to this kind of life, but she also knew her daughter would be very strong about it if it ever happened.
She just hoped it wouldn't ever happen.