I don't want to kill Dumbledoor. I couldn't stand lying to Hermione when she asked me who I had to kill, but I am saving her by lying to her. I am stopping her from trying to stop me, from trying to be a hero, and getting in the way. I never want to see her in the hands of Aunt Bel, I don't think I could handle it. Slowly, I walk up the stairs to the tower, feeling my stomach drop with each step I take.
"How do you do this Aunt Bel?"
"Do what? Murder? You just do it, silly boy. Everyone faces death, everyday, sometimes we just give it that extra umph. It's a rush though. A feeling you will never experience." With that she laughs. I hate it when she laughs, it makes me want to turn her into a hyena.
"One day, Aunt Bel, I'm going to kill someone, and I will prove you, and everyone else for that matter, wrong." I snarl, looking her in the face.
"Listen here you little twirp. You are nothing, nothing but feelings, just like your mother. And the likes of you killing anyone makes me laugh."
"Listen here!" I holler, pointing my wand in her face "Don't you ever talk bad on my mother!"
"You will control yourself, Malfoy." A deep, familiar voice bellows behind me, "She isn't the one you are supposed to kill tonight. Now, stop putting this off, go up there and do what you need to."
"Yes sir." I reply, walking up the stairs, hearing Hermione's voice every step of the way. You are the one who decides your fate. I know I am Mione, and my fate is you, I promise, as I walk up to my fate.
"You don't have to do this, Draco. You are a good boy." Dumbledoor begs, his eyes begging me for his life.
"You don't know me! Look at me!" I show him the dark mark. "Does that look like the sign of a 'good boy' to you? Does that look like a mark your precious Saint Potter would have on his arm?"
"Enough of this, just kill him if you are going to." Aunt Bel says behind me in my ear. "Just do it, you pathetic little varmint." I couldn't handle it, I heard her in my left ear, and Mione in my right. You are the only one who decides your fate. My parents are good people, they don't kill. You are just like your father. I'll be here no matter what. I actually flinch at the last one. I…I can't do it. Slowly I put my wand down. Just as I do that, Snape picks his up, pointing it at Dumbledoor, sending him over the edge of the tower to plummet to his death.
"Come on, we have to go." Snape bellows, grabbing me by the arm, pulling me towards the door.
"Hold on, I need to talk to someone first." I say, thinking back to Hermione, the way that she looked at me last night in the restaurant, the way her lips felt against mine.
"There is no time." My teacher answeres, pulling me by the arm. I will write you, Hermione, I promised myself.
As soon as we get back to Malfoy Mansion, my home, my bed, all of my personal comforts, I lay in bed and cry. I feel so tiny in this room, in my bed. The four poster, king size bed, had always been a little extreme in my opinion, but it was the same bed I had had since my parents took away my crib. Sitting in the middle of the large room, it makes me feel inferior even in my own bed. I hear a gentle knock on the door, before my mother opens it just enough to peek her head in.
"Draco-honey, can I come in?" I lay there on my bed, not moving, not answering, just sobbing into my pillow. I hear the door creek open a little bit more, followed by her light footsteps, almost inaudible to hear, and a slight pressure as she sits down on the bed. "Come here my son" She coos, grabbing me by the shoulder and pulling me towards her. I don't even fight it. I just sit up and lean into her arms, tears still streaming down my face. "Severus told me what happened." She starts petting my hair down on the sides, comforting me like she used to when I was a young boy with a skinned knee. "Do you want to talk about it?" I shake my head no. "Ok, murder isn't easy. To be completely honest, son, I was never keen on the thought of you doing it anyway. You are just a boy, I don't understand dragging you into this war. Look at me, baby." Gently, she pulls me away from her, wiping my tears and hair out of my face. "There, there. A young man of your age shouldn't have anything to cry that much about. Is there more to it, son?" I can't say that I hate this about my mother, but it is defiantly a dislike, she can read me like a book. Even when I was a young boy, it was like her love for me was so strong, that whenever she would ask me something, I couldn't even control the urge to not tell the truth, my body just naturally did it, and so I nod. "Ah yes, I've noticed that sparkle in your eye, the one your father used to have, back in our fifth year. He would follow me to class daily, begging me to let him carry my books. Is that what it is? A girl?" I nod my head again. "May I ask who? Miss Parkinson by chance?"
"No mum, and no I'm not going to tell you." I knew that as much as I wanted to tell her, it would be risking both our lives, and I couldn't do that.
"Yes, fine. I understand. I'm sorry to hear that it's not Miss Parkinson, but I am happy that a girl has caught my son's eye. Is that what's upsetting you this evening? That you didn't get to say good-bye." I nod.
"We went on a date last night mum, I kissed her. She has shown me a world I have never seen before. When I'm with her, this war, this lifestyle is gone." I confess, making sure not to say who 'she' was.
"That is good son, I never wanted this lifestyle for you. We wanted you to grow up happy and healthy, not to see death in your sixth year, of a Headmaster, and nearly at your own hands none-the-less." My eyes well up with tears again, and I fight them back. He is really gone. This is real. "I do want to tell you something though." This catches my attention, my mother never confessed things, new things at least. "When I was about your age, your aunt" She pauses, so that I know that it wasn't Aunt Bel she was referencing to, "left us, ran away with that half-blood. Your grandmum and pop-pop knew, even back then, that there was something seriously off about Bellatrix, and me as the youngest, got the raw end of the deal. They wanted to have one normal child, and feeling like the screwed up with your aunts, they withdrew me from Hogwarts for a year, and threw away the key. They kept me in the house, in a room about like yours, hoping that I would be the one to turn out normal and make them proud. Oh, Draco. I loved your father so, I missed him so. Pop-pop let me get Owl Mail, so I still could keep in touch with Lucius, but it wasn't the same. I missed seeing his face. Slowly, I feel deeper and deeper into a depression. I begged your grandparents to let me see Lucius, but no. It was out of the question they said. What would it bring to the Black name if out of their three daughters, none of them turned out acceptable. So I cried and cried. Then, one day Lucius spoke with your Grandmum Malfoy about it, said that he couldn't stand another day without me. Your Grandmum agreed to help Lucius, and put your grandparents and Bellatrix under a sleep spell so that I could sneak out. I did, flew on my broomstick straight over here, to this very room, I think, and we spent the entire night talking to each other. I was young then, and as much as Lucius pushed I promised myself I would be pure to our wedding, so don't worry, but we sat in this room all night. I had never been so happy in my life. I returned home around dawn and your Grandmum lifted the spell. Til the day your grandparents passed they had no idea. I can do the same for you, if it will bring a smile back to my son's face." She inquired.
"Would you mum?" I asked, perking up at the thought of seeing Hermione again.
"Well of course" She answered, kissing me gently on the forehead. "And I won't even ask her name." She smiled with a wink. "Now, I demand that you go in the bathroom and get freshened up. I will not have you looking like a hoodlum at my dinner table" She stated sternly, getting ready to walk out the door. "Oh, and Draco?"
"Yes ma'am." I answer, already up and headed towards the bathroom.
"You may want to send that owl out now to ask her, and wipe the smile off your face before dinner too. Don't want Bellatrix thinking anything is up." She smiles, closing the door with that. I smile back, thankful for my mother.
"Thanks mum."