First of all, thank you all so much for the recent reviews showing me you all are still here. I didn't expect to get so many, so thank you.
Secondly, this chapter isn't going to be long, just back to five rules for now. Feeling a little rusty at the moment and still need to check out some Gotham episodes to get back into it. I am very confused whether Gordon only knocked Barbara pregnant or also Lee Thompkins. For some reason she keeps mentioning she doesn't like to raise the baby alone with Barbara if Gordon dies, which is very odd to me. Like, yes I get she's somewhat Barbara's child's stepmother, but if Gordon dies, she's got nothing to do with the baby's future. So yes, I am confused or probably missed something, haha.
Without further ado, back to Selina's antics!
1417. I am not allowed to get my antics in the news
Bruce yawned openly upon walking into the kitchen where he found Alfred more stressed out than was good for his health. It was also the first time since a long time he had seen his butler stressed. The last time was before Selina mysteriously disappeared.
"Alfred, you alright?"
"You're up early, Master Bruce." The old butler started to look even more troubled than he already was, and quickly apologized; "I am afraid breakfast isn't ready yet, Master Bruce. I've been looking for the loaf of bread I've taken from the grocery store yesterday, but it seems vanished. Can't find it anywhere!"
"Just scrambled eggs and coffee would be fine, Alfred," the young billionaire said as he sat down at the kitchen table then turned the TV on to listen at while he read the morning paper. He smiled reassuringly; "I am sure it would show up soon again!"
Alfred quickly went to prepare the alternative breakfast when suddenly the morning news came on.
"Good morning Gotham," the female anchor greeted before proceeding to announce the recent violence in the city. It seemed Penguin had the intention to build a bomb to attack Nygma and Lee Tomkins's nightclub in the Narrows, but failed doing so after Jim Gordon had received several tips from citizens who had seen him at the hardware store buying sketchy things.
"In other news," the anchor continued; "an unknown source has stapled slices of bread onto every tree in the city. Many people wonder whether it's an very elaborated hoax or something extra-terrestrial!"
Bruce peered over the top of the morning paper he was reading before commenting; "Looks like we found that loaf of bread, Alfred."
Alfred glared; "It better be the work of something extra-terrestrial, because if this is Miss Kyle's doing, I'll make sure she feels my wrath!"
1418. I am not allowed to greet Sean in the showers
Sean was taking a long hot shower when he felt a sudden presence. He scanned his eyes through the foggy shower closure, hoping to spot whatever it was that was lurking at him.
Suddenly, on the other side of the shower closure, a hand appeared on the foggy glass then another. It didn't take long before also a nose appeared then the entire face as it was pressed against the foggy glass.
"Hello Sean-y! Did you miss me?!"
"SELINA WHAT THE FUCK! GET OUT!" Sean roared as he opened the shower closure and chucked a bar of soap at the street girl's face, which hit her right in the eye.
Later, Selina was seen sitting on the study sofa holding a bag of frozen peas against her face as she sulked; ""I was this close to seeing my Sean's 'tootsie-pop'. Why he had to throw that soap bar? It ruin what could have been a perfect view!"
1419. I am not allowed to talk about futuristic nonsense
Alfred, Bullock, and Gordon each enjoyed their own can of beer at the kitchen table when suddenly, Selina entered shouting from the top of her lungs; "TRUMP IS COMING!"
As the captain of the GCPD and his bartender friend shared a look of confusion, the butler grumbled annoyed; "Miss Kyle, how many times I've told you, stop going to the future?" for it was obvious to him this Trump guy had to be some person she met there."
"Shut up, jeeves!" the street girl snapped then continued with a glare; "As long that damn bridge isn't rebuild and ending our stupid lock-down, a girl has to find other ways to escape this pig hole of a city!"
"Language, Miss Kyle!"
"She's got a point," Bullock said after taking a gulp of beer then asked, curious; "So, what's the future like?"
Selina plopped on a chair then and pulled her legs up onto the kitchen table, before explaining her experience; "Let me tell you, 2022 sucks! They even had lock downs in 2020 and 2021!"
Bullock laughed; "So you escaped one lock-down only to end up in another one?"
"Laugh and guffaw all you want dear Bullock, but heed my warning…" the cat-like girl glared; "as a massive LOTR fans like yourself, DO NOT watch the Rings of Power when 2022 hits!"
Bullock looked in awe; "They make a TV series of one of my most favorite books?!" The bartender suddenly looked very pensive and asked; "How old will I be in 2022?"
Selina rolled her eyes; "Did you even hear what I just said?"
Before anyone could respond, a large built man with dyed hair and a clearly visible fake tan line around his neck walked into the kitchen, looking clearly stressed.
Gordon asked; "Who's that?"
"Ah yes, almost forgot," Selina grinned and stood up then cleared her throat and hollered; "MEET TRUMP! Told you he was coming, but no, you all were thinking it was just a meme!"
Selina smiled at the man and said; "Welcome to the past, Mr. Trump!"
Somewhere in one of the upstairs rooms, a bom exploded followed by a burst of maniacal laughter, right before Alfred grabbed Selina by the ear and demanded her to bring the man back to the future.
1420. I am not allowed to turn Sean in a giant pie
When Alfred entered the kitchen he felt his heart drop when he saw Selina chase Sean with a can of whipped cream shouting as they went; "Sean-ey, please let me eat a perfect dollop of cream from your sexy calves!"
"Miss Kyle, what on Earth…" Alfred howled infuriated.
Selina looked clearly frustrated at the old butler and snapped; "Whatever it is, it can wait! I am about to have a snack and I can't tolerate your anger outbursts on an empty stomach."
Luckily for Sean, Alfred managed to scare Selina out the house with his trusty broom.
1421. I am not allowed to demand rent from the Wayne Manor occupants
"Miss Kyle, a word please!"
Selina, who was literally ordering Silver around to do things for her, turned to face the old butler before scolding; "Who told you to get a break? There are still tons of things to do, you know?!"
"Excuse me!" Alfred glared at the street girl then retorted; "Why don't you explain to me the meaning of THIS!"
With that, Alfred took a piece of paper from the inside of his vest and said; "It was slipped under my door this morning!"
Without giving the paper as much as a look, Selina rolled her eyes and replied; "It's today's rent! It's about time many of you stop being free loaders."
"She's got a point," a sudden voice chimed in from the back of the room.
The source of the voice was no one other than Bruce Wayne. The latter scanned the giant bookcase until he found the crime novel he was looking for then sat down behind his desk, and paid no further attention to the other people in the room.
Alfred gave his young master a glare, before returning his attention back to the crazy street girl and spat; "Your so called 'freeloaders' are called guests!"
"Guests only stay for a short period of time, Alfred! Trust me, after living in for months now it's fair to call them freeloaders, especially when they walk in and out as if they own the place. I am looking at you, Gordon!"
Gordon, who just happened to walk past the study on his way to the kitchen, suddenly rooted in place then shouted in his defence; "Why you always single me out? It's not like I am the only one. There's you for example, and Bullock!"
"You of all people should know by now the streets are NOT save for me! I am a witness, remember?" Selina shouted in her defence, even though she had been lying about that most of the time.
Selina continued; "As for Bullock, he at least has the decency to bring back a few beers to share as for you, you only bring in one date after another, each more insane and unhinged than the other!"
"At least I have dates, unlike some," Gordon scowled.
"What did you say?!" Selina huffed then turned to face Silver and hollered; "From now on you will NOT clean Gordon's room until he starts paying rent, you hear me? Nor will you prepare any food for him. Wayne Manor is not a free estate and if he's not agreeing to it, he should leave and squat elsewhere. I am sure his unhinged girlfriends would love to fight each other to get him in their bed!"
And with that, Selina marched out the room leaving both Alfred and Silver dumbfounded behind.
As for Bruce, he was too engrossed with reading his novel to even notice anything.
Feel free to let me know what you thought, and as always, ideas are very welcome lol