So this chapter is in Gale's POV. Please read and review! And a special thanks to JohnnyStormsGirl for their great reviews!
Disclaimer: I own many things, two dogs, a horse, my always faithful iPod, my undying crush on Josh Hutcherson, but not the Hunger Games…that belongs to Suzanne Collins.
Also: okay, I feel bad asking this, but a few weeks ago I read a summary to a Peeta/Katniss fanfic that was about Katniss losing her memory of everything from just before the first HG. I just remembered it a few days ago and it's driving me crazy that I can't find it anywhere now! Does anyone know of a story like that? If you do I'll PM ya a bonus chapter for this story, it would be kind of like an epilogue thing…not really sure, but I'm going to write it with these characters, I may not publish it on here, so yeah, I might send it to loyal reviewers once it's written as a thank you.
Its gunna be a long hot summer and we should be together with your feet up on the dashboard now. ~Long Hot Summer, Keith Urban (if you haven't caught on I like country music, pure Texan, I miss Texas, sadly, we moved a few years ago, won't tell ya where too.)
Gale's POV:
"Gale?" she asks me again, I can tell the drug is pulling her under. I look deep into her closing eyes.
"Yeah?" I ask, not letting go of her hand.
"I love you" her eyes close fully and I know she's in a deep sleep. But my mind's not focused on that, it's replaying her words over and over and over.
I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.
Slowly I let go of her hand and make my way over to the rocking chair in the corner. I sit in it and stare at the ceiling. She loves me? How? I mentally slap myself now. Damn Gale she's had sleep syrup, she doesn't know what she's saying, she won't remember telling me. Or will she?
Okay, yeah, I like her too. As a friend though. She's my friend, nothing more. Okay, maybe she is more; friend, neighbor, crew member, and the girl I have shared so many happy childhood memories with. But Katniss. I love her. I can't fight the thought that makes its way up from the back of my mind. She has Peeta. But I think she loves me; sure seemed like it when I kissed her that one time.
But this girl, Denver, I know she loves me; she just told me herself. Again, how? Aren't I the one who ignored her for six years? Who just said good morning and did nothing more. Who watched her starve, and grieve, and struggle and still did nothing. Who just threw away our strong bond like it was nothing. And why did I do that? Why didn't I just go and have a conversation with her? Why couldn't I just speak to her, not just throw away that friendship we had. She had meant so much to me back then. I had meant so much to her. I wouldn't go to school back then without her, we protected each other. We depended on each other to be there. And she tried to be there for me, when my dad was killed. She tried to talk to me, but I just pushed her away. Then I didn't comfort her when her dad died, when I saw her literally dying before my eyes. When I saw her sitting alone at school, did I go over and sit with her? No, I didn't, I let her be lonely, I let her be alone.
Wow, I'm a heartless person. No, I shouldn't say that. I watched out for her, she doesn't know it, but I did. Like that one kid who shoved her once, by the end of the day I made sure he couldn't do anything with his arm for a long time. Every day I thought about going over and talking to her, I thought, no, I think, about her every day. Yea, we have a bond. A bond that was built during those first twelve years of our lives; depending on each other for comfort, for fun, for kindness. Once you have that kind of bond, you can't break it, nothing can. We'll always be each other's first best friends, always be the kids that everyone joked about; joked that one day we would be married.
And I know, almost everything a person can know about someone by just watching them can know about her. I know she never pays attention to how she ties her shoes. I know she loves nature; she always looks over at the trees, the grass, the animals around the District. I know how she loves to walk barefoot all summer long, not caring about the coal dust. I know how she hates the Capital, I can see it in her eyes. I can see she hates accepting unnecessary help from people. I can see that she doesn't care if people think her behavior isn't proper, or they think she's nothing. I know she doesn't give a crap what others think about her. I know she can hold her own in a fight; she's been involved in some in the Hob. I know how she doesn't like it when people stare at her; like I am now.
I study her face now. Her low cheekbones, her olive skin, her dark hair that falls to just past her shoulders. She looks a lot like me; classic Seam. She looks peaceful when she sleeps, but it's strange too, not seeing the usual little grin that's on her face. Not seeing it makes me realize that I love that. She doesn't let much get her down. The girl's lost everything, she doesn't have to live for anything, but she is living, happily too from what she makes it look like. My eyes look the rest of her over; Lucas is right, she's not bad looking at all. She's gained a lot of muscle in the past week too; her defined arms show that. Her hands are callused over, fit for wielding a pick axe. Her legs are stronger too, from bracing them so she can swing the axe, so she can do a man's job. And she does it without complaint.
Then something comes into my mind. It connects with the bond I share with this girl, since we were best friends, the bond that can never go away. What the bond must be like if you kept someone alive. Like Katniss and Peeta. My mind tells me. The realization hits me like a ton of bricks. Katniss will never be mine. Because she saved Peeta's life and he saved hers. They will always have that bond between them, and that's the strongest bond, I think, any two people could have. Peeta will always need Katniss. And even, if she doesn't know it yet. She will need him. There never will be an 'us', a Katniss and Gale. My stomach just feels like an empty pit at the thought, at the truth.
But like most troubles, I find strength in this realization. I can move on now. I don't feel tied down by that sliver of chance that maybe she could pick me. It's like a weight now lifted off some other part of me. My thoughts are cut off when I hear the racing off feet coming up the stairs. I go to the door and open it right before Vick and Rory barrel through. They stop and look up at me expectantly.
"You have to be quiet, she's sleeping." I instruct them, they just nod. I stand aside and let them in. I watch as my brothers' stand beside the bed looking down at Denver. She's friends with them too. She's like a big sister to them, no, she's like the big brother I don't have the time to be.
"Will she be okay?" Vick asks looking back at me, I shrug, I don't know.
"She should be fine with a few days' rest." I look over to see Prim next to me. Vick nods and smiles clearly relieved that she'll be okay. I am too. But a few day's rest? She can't afford to miss work; she needs the money too much.
After an hour I tell Vick and Rory they should get home.
"No, I'm staying here until she wakes up" Vick tells me all too matter-o-factly.
"Vick" I warn him he's pushing it with my patience.
"I'm staying here too; if you get to stay so do we." It's Rory who speaks up this time.
"Both of you, home, now. Mom will be wondering where we all are. Tell her where I am and I'll be home in a few hours." I tell them sternly.
"Gale" Vick groans at me
"Vick" I sound like I'm Posy's age when I imitate his tone.
"Fine" I watch as my brothers' look at Denver one last time, Rory squeezes her hand, and then they finally leave. After just standing in the room for a few minutes I go over and sit next to her on the bed, I take her hand in mine. How many times have I done this before? Hundreds? Thousands? To many times to remember. Her hand feels so familiar in mine. I trace circles on the back of her hand with my thumb.
"I'm sorry" I whisper to her, even though she can't hear me. "I'm so sorry for everything I've done to you." I look down at her hand in mine, my gaze will stay there until she wakes.
This chapter was actually really hard for me to write. Brought back memories of me and my old best friend….ended up just looking through pictures of us together from when we were little. Haven't talked/seen him in four years. Still praying for the day he'll chat me or something. I kept having to stop writing the first part when Gale is asking why she loves him. At first I just did it and it ended up being a really long rant and instead using my name and my old friend's name. Damn I miss him. Hopefully it turned out okay.
Please review.
Mocking Verse