Title: Still Heartless: Transplant Highly Recommended
Rating: T
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the funniness. If you haven't read the real Heartless and want to get yourself hyped up on some angst, by all means go ahead.
Author's Note was confiscated by the teacher before it reached its recipient.
Elevator
The first time it had been an accident. Boq had just plain lacked the common sense to install an elevator instead of fixing Frex's battered staircase. Behind him and several feet upwards, the wheels of Nessa's chair screeched to a halt as the dense powder from the repair crew's efforts to repair the steps. Boq squinted through the settling haze, only to see the governor's mouth grow thin with impatience, her brow furrowed into a position that could only mean that he was in deep, deep, deep trouble.
It was almost funny how in this particular situation he hadn't the slightest clue what he'd done wrong.
"Boq, what the hell are you doing?!" she snarled. "I figured you'd have the common sense to install an elevator in this pathetic excuse for a mansion after all those times you've had to carry me up to my room at the end of the day."
The poor munchkin found himself at a loss for words. He stood in stunned, awkward silence at his old schoolmate grew more and more irate with him, wondering why Nessa's father hadn't installed an elevator years ago and wondering if the brunette had spent her childhood using the dumbwaiter to get to her bedroom.
Standing at the top of a different staircase years later, Boq marveled at his own handiwork. He remembered the stunned, stupefied, and utterly furious expression Nessa'd had on her face from the last time there'd been a staircase willingly constructed in her own mansion. But hey, it beat waiting for that damn lift day in and day out. It wasn't even like there were that many steps.
As Nessa finally made her way to the edge of the stairs, fuming and glaring at her servant, she resisted every urge to punch Boq, knowing that if she did she would probably just fall out of her own chair and crash down the stairs. She had done this so many times in her life already that she just couldn't afford another concussion, even on her salary.
"Boq, what is it you wanted?" She snapped with a hint of resentment in her tone.
He only needed to shrug and gesture towards the elevator next to the new stairwell. "I left your lift. Why so agitated, Madame?"
Nessa heaved a sigh as she rolled over to the door in a huff. Her face fell as the doors slid open, revealing a hideously fat, greasy-looking munchkinlander with a thick mop of coarse, probably louse-infested hair creeping out from the back of his uniform collar. The entire chamber reeked of stale garlic and body odor. The governor shuddered as the unhygienic individual stepped aside to allow her access to the lift. "Oh yeah, I forgot to mention—I hired you a new bellhop," She heard Boq snicker as he bounded down the stairs to the first floor. "Madame."