Akatsuki Issues
By Magewriter
Chapter 2
Disclaimer: I own nothing by Masashi Kishimoto.
Pockles' story is coming along great, well into it's third chapter, and she has plans for the tenth! At this point, Tobi and Deidara are fighting for the OC's love. Tobi gives her a flower and gets a kiss on the cheek, so Deidara figures that it must be one kiss per flower and produces a huge bouquet of roses, earning him only a hug and a "thank you." It's going to be funny.
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The next morning, Ritonno had only a slight limp. It seemed that her injuries were only of the flesh, not the bone, and that combined with her youth meant that she was recovering very quickly. However, her ideas became more and more chaotic as she recovered. This even included making lists of multiple ways to tick off every other Akatsuki member, including Leader himself.
Leader could only assume that she was bored.
However, he was very patient. He was able to convince Ritonno not to do any of her ideas because he knew that she would never even have thought of them if she weren't bored out of her mind.
One day, she was sitting with her notepad, giggling like a normal girl her age and adding to her list of ways to tick off Kisame. Deidara was sitting next to her.
"Are you still working on those stupid lists?"
"Yup."
"Why?"
"Because I can. Until my stupid ankle heals, I can't do anything even remotely athletic except for throwing knives and shurikens, which is an ability that you don't really lose over the course of a few days, anyway."
"Mmh…"
"This concludes my 'how to piss off Rei-donno' number forty-two." Ritonno disappeared.
"Wha – was that a shadow replication jutsu?"
"Nope. It was a shadow replication and a transformation jutsu, each independent of the other." Deidara turned into Ritonno. "It's actually really fun to do when you're bored; takes a lot of concentration."
"I see… How is that supposed to annoy me?"
"You always like to know which of your Akatsukis is doing what when. If I did it constantly, you would get really mad. Of course, I'm not going to since I value my own life, but hey – if I were willing to do that a bunch of times, you'd get mad."
"…"
"I told you, didn't I? Impersonation is my newest technique. I'm trying to get really good at it." Here, her voice got higher annoying, and much more excited. "Can you tell, yeah?"
"Heh… You'll do pretty well with that, I'm sure. Where is Deidara, by the way? I thought he was staying with you."
"He's down in my room. My ankle's still hurt a little, but I can walk on my own now."
"I can tell. When do you think that fight with Itachi is going to happen?"
"I don't know. Probably tomorrow. Isn't it amazing how long one day can be when you don't have anything to do?"
"I know that feeling…"
"Aw, heck, we all do. We're the ignored rule-breakers who got messed up and began to desire power for ourselves so that everyone who looked down on us or ignored us would respect and fear us because we're going to rule the world!" The stars came out of her eyes as she said, "…Or at least, that's why I joined. You can tell that everyone here's messed up, though…"
"Definitely."
She held up her sketchpad, which during her illusion had looked like Deidara's. "Do you like my pictures, Rei-donno?"
They were pictures of people. They looked almost real.
"How do I know that this isn't an illusion?"
"Because my ankle hurts like hell." (This is rated T on right?)
"Oh… okay. I guess I'll take your word for it then."
"Do you like my pictures?"
"They're good. They're lifelike."
"They're people from before I moved away. That girl was my best friend… then she moved away and stuff got messed up and now I'm here. The Akatsuki is like rehab for ninjas who still want to be S-class murderers."
"I wouldn't quite describe it that way…"
"It is, though. Do you remember me when I came here? Itachi, do you remember? You ought to." Leader had heard Itachi coming into the kitchen, too. Itachi's defining feature was that there was absolutely nothing abnormal about his stride and he was a human of normal weight. If she were a bit stronger, Ritonno could be a threat to Leader's power. Fortunately, she didn't like being in positions of power; she had told him so herself.
"How do you do that?"
"You're an average weight human and your stride has no variation."
"Um… okay then… what did you ask me, again?"
"What did I act like when I came here?"
"You had issues."
"Exactly. And see? I'm okay now. At least, I feel like it."
"It's a good thing, too. You were invisible much too often then."
"I always do that when I'm with people I don't know."
"Like when you're in the city?" He said it in the same tone, but it was obviously mockery.
"I wouldn't mock someone who had a list of ways to annoy you and who's going to whoop you when her ankle feels better."
"I wouldn't count on that. Do we have any more soda?"
"You mean the ones with the marbles in the top? We're out?"
"Yeah. Why else would I ask?"
"Maybe you should go into town by yourself without any weapons and your sharingans off."
"…"
"What? Can't take a joke when it's aimed at you?"
"Just shut up." He began to leave.
"Is this about you going blind?"
He spun around. "How did you find out?!"
"Duh. I mean, you even sleep with those things on. Whenever you have them off, you say you can't see anything."
"…" -glare-
"Have you considered getting glasses?" If she didn't smirk, she would laugh. So, she smirked. Even then, she still giggled.
"Is there anything funny about that?" Itachi now sounded threatening and was beginning to walk very slowly into the TV room.
"Actually, yes, since the entire point off having your sharingans is that you can see everything."
Itachi was now standing next to her. "When do you think we're going to have that match?"
She turned invisible and stood up. She knew that her footprints were visible on the carpet; however, once she got onto the hardwood, she would be truly invisible. "Tomorrow, perhaps. Who knows? Who do you want to moderate?"
"Kisame."
"It can't be Kisame or Deidara."
"Zetsu, then. I don't care!"
So, their match was set.
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I love making fun of the Akatsuki. It's unbelievably easy. You should try it sometimes. In school, I even call them nicknames. There's plant boy, shark boy, Hidan the cutter, Dei-chan, puppet boy, Tobi (I usually make a snide comment about how he's a "good boy"), and… yeah. Leader and Ritonno can't easily be made fun of. I usually identify Leader by his nose bridge piercings, though – they're definitely an identifying feature. Kakuzu is hard to make fun of, but I identify him by his love of money and his role in "Akatsuki: the Musical."
Life is good.