Akatsuki Issues

By Magewriter

Chapter 4

Disclaimer: As stated many times previously, I own nothing by Masashi Kishimoto. Also, Suzimi has the best fan comics ever.

Somehow, I find myself almost writing "Deidara's Troubles" as the heading to these chapters. So, I guess this should be from Deidara's viewpoint, at least for awhile, because I obviously want to use his state of mind.

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Leader had been acting strangely lately.

He had been spending a lot of time downstairs with the rest of the Akatsuki. He had even learned Ritonno's invisibility technique.

Something was going to happen.

Deidara didn't know what it was, but Leader was changing. Who could know if the change would be good or bad? Who could tell, once it was over, if they were really any better off to have Leader, who refused to give his name, instead of Orochimaru. Obviously, they were never going to get Oro back, but how did they know that Leader was really such a great commander?

"So, you're afraid?" Deidara jumped. He had been so absorbed in his own thoughts that he hadn't even noticed Leader.

"I'm not afraid, yeah; just cautious. Can you read minds, yeah?"

"I can communicate with you through our minds. Obviously, I have a relatively strong link to your mind."

Deidara didn't know what to do. Would he be thrown out of the Akatsuki for thinking that maybe Leader wasn't really such a great leader?

"No. Come with me."

Deidara followed him up into the attic. "Do you know why we're here, Deidara?"

"So that we can talk in private, yeah?"

"Exactly. Do you know why that's so important?"

"Um… I'm not sure that I do, yeah."

"If the other members were to have similar doubts, some of them might decide that I'm really not such a great leader. I know that Ritonno's thought about things like that, but she's loyal and she likes her place. You're obviously no threat because you accept me as your leader and I'm pretty sure that you hate Orochimaru because he betrayed the Akatsuki and stole one of our rings."

Deidara inspected the ring on his right index finger. It said "blue," but the kanji could also mean "green." Japanese colors aren't very descriptive. If he ever lost his ring, he could be thrown out of the Akatsuki. It was the symbol of his membership and loyalty, not only to Leader, but also to the other members.

Unfortunately, this also included Sasori.

"Yes, it does. It's really too bad that neither of you can see the truth about art."

"What do you think it is, yeah?"

"Nothing lasts forever, but nothing should be entirely impermanent. Your birds are works of art, but they aren't entirely impermanent because they fly around before they explode; someday, Sasori and his puppets will be beyond repair and they will end. Neither of you is right, but neither of you are wrong, either."

"…And neither of us will ever agree because we've argued about this for so long, right, yeah?"

"Exactly. But, you were wondering about Orochimaru. Whether or not he's a better leader than I am – I really have considered it, believe it or not – he's not coming back. He took his ring and left, which is definitely theft and punishable by law, but then so is our occupation, so we can't do anything about it. What's more, he's in hiding in the land of Sound. If I ever find that ring, I'm sending Ritonno out… But then, you don't really think about long-term strategies much, do you?"

"Hardly ever, yeah!"

There was a pause.

"Why are you still here?"

"Bye, yeah!" Deidara hadn't known that the conversation was over. It hadn't sounded over. So, he got out while he still appeared to be ahead.

For fun, he decided to bug Sasori.

"Hi, Sasori-danna, yeah."

"Hello, Deidara."

"Whatcha doin', yeah?"

"I'm making a wooden puppet."

"Like you, yeah?"

"I'm not wooden."

"…But you're a puppet, yeah."

"I would think that that, at least, would be obvious."

Pause.

"What are you doing to it, yeah?"

"I'm sanding the arms."

"So, you made them, but you don't want them to stay the way you made them, yeah?"

"Get out of my room, Deidara." Sasori recognized this conversation. It always went this way:

Deidara: what are you doing?

Sasori: I'm working on a puppet. I'm changing the shape of its limbs/torso/head/whatever else to suit my needs.

Deidara: So you made it but you don't want it to stay that way? So much for a "lasting work of art."

Sasori: I'm changing its appearance because when it's done it needs to last and perform well.

Deidara would then make another comment concerning how nothing was actually permanent because:

1. All matter is made up of little pieces of electricity buzzing around little balls of stuff.

2. Everything erodes eventually

3. Through being used, its posture would change, making even Sasori's style of art not-quite-permanent

4. Anything else he could think of that would either prove his point or disprove Sasori's

Sasori would eventually get mad (it took a much shorter time than it had when they had met) and tell Deidara to get out of his room, but the stupid idiot always managed to wander back in so that they could hold the exact same discussion.

It always went that way.

Always.

So, he proceeded to make his puppet. After awhile, though, he felt someone watching him. So he turned around. There was no one there.

"Um… Ritonno-san?"

No answer.

It was just him, then.

A few seconds after he had turned back to his puppet, he heard her laughing. When he turned around again, there she was.

"What's so funny?"

"You… you didn't… haha!!!" After a few more seconds, she managed to calm down enough to speak. "Whenever you think I'm there, I probably am. I mean, if you get paranoid, I'm not going to be there all the time, but seriously! You honestly thought I wasn't there?"

"I'm not Leader-sama."

"Wow. Biggest understatement ever. You're not Leader. You want a hint?" She began to whisper loudly. "We know!!!"

Glare. "Ritonno-san, get out of my room."

"Why?"

"Because you're annoying and I'm trying to make a puppet."

"Heh… okay. Bye, then!" She turned invisible as she walked out. Obviously, she was once again bored.

But the annoyances didn't stop there! Zetsu came in asking if he had any ammonium nitrate. They explained that they were still slightly addicted to it and they were out of patches.

Sasori had wondered how they had gotten obscure chemical patches in the first place.

Zetsu moved on and Sasori was able to sand the upper arm of the puppet. That had been his goal from the beginning. Leader had always complained that the sawdust got into the tatami mat, especially since, when it piled up, Sasori just swept it all out into the hall, but Sasori himself was perfectly content to just sand the wood. When it was done, he rubbed a special oil on it that made it shiny and gave it a strong finish. Life was good.

It would be better if Deidara weren't a part of it, though.

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These chapters seem to be really depressing at the ends. I mean, this isn't really all that "depressing" since it's been so crazy, but the last paragraph or sentence or whatever always seems to be more calm, and usually more sad, than the line/paragraph before it. I guess it's just good for winding down the chapter.

I went to Brownie play day! I showed the little Brownie Girl Scouts my pictures (and Pocka-chan and Denka-chan showed them theirs) and we had these groups of brownies surrounding us! They sere SO CUTE!!!! …Also, if you're on DeviantART, look forward to more pictures like Akatsuki in Yukata (and perhaps I'll also run them through GIMP and make the colors smooth) including one of Itachi where I used Pocky-machine's favorite skin tone and IT LOOKS LIKE REAL ANIME! …Except for a part of his nose where the Sharpie paused so there are dots. But you can ignore those.

The Akatsuki have awesome nails. Their nail polish would have come off by now, wouldn't it?