A/N: OOCness from here on out most likely.
Chapter 3: Phone call
SPOV
I walked inside and reached down to pickup my boots and grab my purse.
Had I really just asked Gaara out for..tea? How would this pan out? He never seemed to be the most inviting of spirits on the short encounters that we'd had but when he showed up a few minutes ago he was…dare I say, jealous? Something happened. I was able to see so clearly through those jade eyes like I was never able to before. So many conflicting emotions passed through them until finally, acceptance? Longing?
He's such a dark and jaded person; reminding me so much of myself in the painful recovery of my senior year in high school, except he has no Kakashi. What did he have? I didn't know. Could I possibly be that something for him? Did I want to be? Was he just going to break my heart like-
I needed to stop over thinking things.
I looked down and realized my purse and boots were not where I'd left them when I'd first come home. Calmly walking into the living room I leaned against the frame to study an 'innocent' Kakashi lounging on the sofa reading some of my porn.
"Give them to me Kakashi."
He slowly snapped the book shut and sat up, eyeing me with mock hurt. "Sakura I have no idea what you are talking about."
"I'm not going to ask you twice." I slowly advanced towards him as he began to smile at me.
"I'm quaking in fear at your 5' 4", barefoot, she-devil appearance Sakura; you may have to clean your couch cushions." He slowly set the book down onto the table and got up, walking past me to the kitchen.
"Kakashi Hatake!" I lunged onto his back and locked him into a headlock. He always waited until important moments to want to play. "I swear to every higher power, if you don't give me my purse and boots back I'll snap your neck right here!"
He let out a wheezy cough/laugh and pointed underneath the low coffee table. "Could you stop being a "wanna-be ninja" for five seconds and actually look around your house? Jeeze, now let me go!"
I jumped down and hurriedly ran over to throw my boots on. "5' 4" she-devil my ass," I mumbled. "I know you heard us out there. If you didn't want me to go with him, that's all you had to say, even though I wouldn't listen. You know I don't like to play games with you when I'm on my way to do something."
"Or someone…" He lowly retorted from his stationary point by the door.
"Excuse me Hatake?"
"Nothing, Haruno." He smirked at me and then looked serious. A speech was coming.
I held up my hand just as he opened his mouth and walked towards him, purse in hand. "Look, can you make this one short? He's been out there longer than it really should have been for me to put on boots and grab my bag." I crossed my arms in front of my chest and waited for the onslaught of warnings, only they didn't come.
Kakashi pulled me into a soft embrace and dipped his forehead to my shoulder before he spoke. "Sakura," his hold tightened around me, "I don't want to lose you all over again. We worked so hard to put you back together. I'm just…" he paused and sucked in a deep breath before grabbing my shoulders to bring us face to face, "Be careful?"
I rubbed my thumb across the gathered skin of his eyebrows too smooth the lines of worry before tracing down the side of his temple to rub his cheek, "Of course."
-A.o.D-
The ride to the coffee shop in town was rather silent. I was stuck between awkwardly glancing out the window and trying to make small talk with Gaara. Sometimes he would look relaxed, head resting upon his hand while his arm rested on the window sill. He had a loosened grip on the steering wheel, a calculating look in his eye and a small smirk upon his plush pinkish-peach lips. But then he would glance over out of the corner of his eye…and the calculating look would change into a seemingly frustrated looked, his grip would tighten, his pink lips would mesh together into a firm line, and his foot would place just that much more pressure on the gas to speed through traffic. He was uncomfortable; that much was obviously apparent, but whether it was because of me or the fact that he didn't want me to see him so open with his feelings, I didn't know. Was it strange of me to want to seek out his problems and hardships? To comfort him until he felt he could tell me anything and display emotions he'd never let anyone else see. I wish I knew, but for now we were only out for tea and coffee.
After a few seconds his grip loosened as we came to a stoplight in town, and everything about him seemed to change at once. He leaned his head back against the headrest while his hand slowly crept to where mine dangled from the center console. His slender fingers deftly turned my hand palm up to dance across the center and drag lazy lines up and down the paths of my fingers.
Up and down…Up and down.
I held my breath to contain my surprise but mostly so that I wouldn't startle him because I didn't want him to stop. He was being…intimate? Even if it was only our hands, I knew that him initiating contact in itself was like meeting a fallen angel upon the street; very rare and treasure worthy. I closed my eyes to try and regulate my shallow breathing and mind boggling thoughts. It was only a hand, and we were only out for tea, but who could think about tea when his delicate touches were starting to tickle?
A giggle almost escaped me, but came out as a hiccupping chuckle as I tried to keep it at bay. His eyes slowly cracked open and he raised an eyebrow in question. A small smirk was forming on his lips.
What had happened? His bipolar antics conflicted so dangerously with my straightforward emotions. Wasn't he just annoyed that I'd been staring at him a moment prior? But now he was openly displaying amusement at his ability to tickle me? He was weird, but the type of weird I wanted to put up with just because I wanted to.
"Green…" I whispered.
"Yes, my eyes are green like yours." He almost rolled his eyes, but kept his calculating gaze bored into my soul.
"No, you idiot. Green light." I leaned against the window and watched the murky scenery go by as we made our way to Jenna's.
"Hi, welcome to Jenna's Coffee Shop, my name is Josh. What can I get for you two today ma'am?" I wasn't sure if Josh was interested in serving me the tea I wanted or more interested in trying to look down my top.
"Can I have a vanilla chai tea and a banana nut muffin, please?"
"Of course! ... And for him?" His gaze flickered over to Gaara awaiting his order, but quickly shifted down to look at the cash register.
"Hot chocolate with extra marshmallows and a chocolate muffin." Gaara's tone of voice was menacing and Josh quickly put the order into the register. What was wrong with men and asserting dominance?
-A.O.D-
GPOV
Driving I loved doing. Especially if it meant I was going to get chocolate. Just the thought of the sweet candy made me want to smile. Ever since I was a kid and I tried my first milk chocolate candy bar on Halloween, I'd developed a sick obsession for it. It was like the one thing that soothed me as a child and even as I got older, thanks to my mom...
I remember driving from Reno to Washington with my sister -Temari- a headache wrapped in purple clothing, ocean blue eyes, and unruly dirty blonde hair. The only thing that had comforted me on that trip was chocolate and memories of my mother. Slowly but surely I'd learned to love my sister over the years after our horrible run in with my uncle. Worst 3 years of my life. She and I fought like there was no tomorrow along with our brother. I can say I love them now but 5 years ago, I wanted nothing more than to tear them limb from limb with my bear hands. They didn't understand me, and I didn't understand them, yet here we are years later mediocre in terms of familial relationship, if not a little frazzled still.
Chocolate. It saved me on that trip. When I felt the need to pull over and violently kick Temari out of the car and leave her stranded in the dead of the night, it brought me back to reality. My mother used to always bring me chocolate when I was a kid, up until the day she died…I guess it's the reason why I cherish it and… love it so much. I mean, chocolate could never do me wrong because it doesn't breathe, it doesn't speak, it doesn't scream, it doesn't shout insults, it doesn't hit…
Sakura…I was going out for 'tea' with Sakura. However the concept of 'tea' was starting to mean more to me with every car that passed and every second we got closer to Jenna's little coffee shop in town. I'm about to remove a barrier that has been in place for so many years. Could I ever fully let her in? My subconscious wants to incinerate every layer of the tough exterior I developed from my adolescent years so that she can worm her way into my mind, body, and soul. I want to fill her mind with thoughts of me that will leave her restless at night; tossing and searching for warmth she never thought she would crave before.
Why?
Why do I want her to have to suffer from the same things I do? I know the answer, but it's the one reason why I don't want to remove my barrier. I want to be everything for her that I'm afraid she's becoming for me, so that I'm not the only one who might get hurt in the end. Because I know that for me, it can never end in happiness. I can almost say I hate her for making me feel this way…but I mostly hate her for not coming into my life sooner. I could say I don't like how she makes me feel, but I know I'll keep going back for more. She makes me weak, so weak, but if weakness isn't a sign that you're alive, then I don't know what is. I've been walking around these last few years seemingly existing; fading into the backdrop…I want to live.
I glanced at her from the corner of my eye, realizing that she was watching me.
Shit
My cheeks tinged a light shade of pink that I wasn't used to turning. I wanted to close myself up; put the barriers back in place before I could stop them. How was I ever supposed to move on with myself, possibly make something of her and me, if my initial instinct is to always close up on her. I'm tired of not being in control. I want to be in control.
I stopped at the light and inhaled a deep breath, leaning my head back against the seat.
I want to be in control.
My hand slowly made its way to hers, tracing the soft lines of her palm, up her fingers and back down.
Control.
She was soft; skin as smooth as the silky rich sheets that lay untouched on my bed at home. Her hands were hot, and I wondered if they would ever feel as hot against my body. I wanted to find out. I felt her gently shake upon my tracing fingers and release a hiccupped laugh; I opened my eyes to look at her. When had they closed?
My eyes focused on petal pink hair, brilliant green eyes, rosy cheeks and a slightly red nose from the cold. Her facial features were soft and agreed with her heart shaped face. She was beautiful to me, and I apparently had the ability to make her laugh. I had the ability to make her happy.
I smirked, and her eyes narrowed in the slightest.
"Green," she whispered.
I almost felt like rolling my eyes. Of course she would be distracted by my eye color. It was…cute.
"Yes, my eyes are green like yours, Sakura." I couldn't help but almost smile.
"No, you idiot. Green light."
-A.o.D-
NPOV
Soft music drifted in the atmosphere along with the strong smell of chocolate and bananas wafting around them. Quiet chatter in the front of the café worked its way back to the warm dimly lit corner in the rear of the small shop where emerald stared into piercing jade.
"Shut. Up."
Sakura pushed back into the comfy booth and tapped her foot idly on one of the table's stands. "No."
Gaara rolled his eyes and swirled around the rest of the now lukewarm cocoa in his mug. She has pink hair and used to run around in pink dresses apparently, so what had possessed her to have a sick obsession with Digimon and Mighty Morphing Power Rangers, he had no clue. She had to be lying.
"Bullshit."
She sighed and raked a hand through her hair to hold her bangs up. She looked at him dead on. "I'm so serious. My mother hated it. She said it was very unbecoming of me as a young lady." She let her hair go and played with the crumbs of her banana nut muffin. "But I didn't care. If it's any consolation, I wanted to be the pink ranger."
She laughed and he smirked; he could honestly believe that.
He stared at her and the air soon became thick with tension. His face changed into one of discomfort as Sakura scooted forward to the edge of the table. She reached her hand across the table and lightly settled it upon his.
He slowly retracted his hand and let it slide into his lap. A dust of pink coated his cheeks which he covered by leaning his face into his open palm.
Her brow furrowed and she slowly looked down to his zipped up jacket.
"I like you, you know." She received silence in response. "I don't know why, but I really do…It's all so soon and I really hate the feeling it gives me. It's all consuming, almost like an obsession. Mostly because I think about it a lot and in turn it leads me to think about you a lot. It's more of a girl thing, I suppose. You know, you start liking a guy and soon enough he's all you can think about and you break down every little action and word and-" She paused and looked up into his face. "I'm sorry, I'm rambling." She looked to her lap where her hands wrung themselves together. "I know you feel something for me too."
He looked away from her face and out the window, "No.." he replied a bit defensively.
"Gaara," she gave an exasperated sigh, "You don't have to lie. It's not that big of a deal. It's not like I said you loved me or I loved you."
He visibly cringed at the word love. "No way, not even a little bit." he stubbornly argued.
Sakura rolled her eyes, "Gaara this isn't third grade. Yes you do. Why are you denying it?"
He looked at her, the corners of his mouth turned down into a scowl, "Okay maybe a little bit." He held up a hand in front of her before she could utter a sound, "I'm taking you home." He stood up before she had a chance to argue with him and started walking towards the door.
-A.o.D-
She sat in the passenger seat looking at her hands, ignoring the fact that he had pulled up to her house over ten seconds ago.
"Gaara-"
"-The tea and cocoa were nice.. I'll see you tomorrow, Haruno. Don't forget the notes." Gaara started his car again and leaned his head on the window.
"…Goodnight Gaara." She removed herself from the car and slowly walked up her driveway and into her home. Kakashi was nowhere to be found downstairs so she assumed he was upstairs asleep.
She didn't understand why the night had ended the way it had when it seemed that things were going so great. He was the one to initiate contact, right? She replayed the moment where things had become tense over and over as she readied herself for bed, trying to decipher if she had perhaps been too forward.
"I didn't do anything wrong," she huffed out as she closed the curtains in her bedroom, only to reopen then quickly. "What the fuck?"
She looked down below under her tree in her front yard and swore she saw a figure in black with vibrant red hair. It began to rain down hard as she tried to interpret if the image she thought she was seeing was actually there. She opened the window and shouted just as a large clap of thunder shook her core.
"Gaara?"
Whatever it was responded in the slightest and retreated backwards a step.
"Sakura, what the hell are you doing?" Kakashi rubbed the sleep from his eyes and sat up in her bed. "Who the hell are you yelling at?"
She looked back out the window and the figure had disappeared. Had she imagined it?
"Umm…nothing, nothing. Let's go to bed." She looked back out her window once more before shutting it and crawled into bed beside Kakashi. They both turned onto their backs and clasped one hand onto each others. It was more for safety throughout the night, seeing as how Kakashi often woke up from raging nightmares a few times a week. He'd never forget Obito's, his best friend's, death.
Sakura soon heard his light snores but continued to stare at the ceiling. She could have sworn she saw Gaara…who else had bright red hair like that? Was she thinking too hard about him and had actually visualized him right there? It was logical, but she wasn't insane. It was something. It must have been him.
She rolled onto her side facing Kakashi, still tightly clasping his hand.
It had felt like him.
-A.o.D-
The house that had once awaited him in deafening silence was interrupted by a large slam from the front door. He flicked the light switch and turned to face his door once again, slamming his palms against the thick wood. He could care less that at the moment his converse and feet were soaked to the bone and his pants were dripping a wild mess on his hardwood floors. He was so stupid. The one opportunity he had out with her to not seem like a freak and he blew it. She probably thought- no- he knew she thought he had no interest in her because little more than that had come from his mouth. And then like the sick bastard he was, he stood underneath her tree looking up into her window, trying to find something to say that would take away all the wrong signals he was intentionally sending that night away.
Fuck.
He stomped back to his bedroom to rid himself of the slopping wet clothing that hung from his lean body. He really needed to talk to Shikamaru to straighten himself out and give a new perspective to the situation at hand.
Soaking wet clothes forgotten in a hamper and now mostly dry with a towel draped around his neck, he picked up his phone to call his close friend. It rang five times and just as Gaara began to get frustrated and give up, a scruffy voice answered the other end.
"What?"
Gaara rolled his eyes at the harshness that exuded from Shikamaru's first word. He must have been sleeping. He hates when people bother him while he sleeps. Gaara toyed with the edge of a throw pillow on the sofa as he took a deep breath, preparing himself for the long conversation to come.
"I messed up." He clenched his jaw at the disheartening confession.
A grunt escaped Shikamaru and an exasperated sigh before he responded, "Yea well I sort of guessed that or else you wouldn't be calling me at 10pm. You know I'm usually in bed by 9. I mean I do adore my sleep."
Gaara rolled his eyes once again. If there was anything he disliked about his close friend it was the fact that he was able to sleep so easily and for such long periods of time anytime he felt like it, which was seemingly at any given second on any day. It had to be unhealthy to sleep that much right?
"No, you don't understand. I didn't mess up with the law or skip out on an important assignment or any of that, I…" He paused to drag a hand down his face and rub at his eyelids, "I messed up bad with this-this-"
"-Well spit it out already! I'd like to go back to sleep before tomorrow comes if you don't mind," Shikamaru dryly remarked.
Gaara glared at the phone clutched to his right ear and continued his earlier thought process, "As I was saying before. I messed up with this..this girl."
Silence rang from the other end of the line for what seemed like an eternity.
"A girl, you said?" Shikamaru asked with genuine curiosity.
"Yes, a girl," Gaara emphasized, hints of frustration peeking through his normally demure façade.
Shikamaru gave a dry chuckle, instantly recognizing the shift in Gaara's mood and deciding not to become the center of his rage. "Okay okay, well what happened?"
The less than romantic encounter between the two upon first meeting was told in detail, the days and hours of endless thoughts about her, along with the unexpected tantrum he threw on her when she came over to study, down to the awkward moment with their hands in the car, the untimely appearance of his defense walls after her confession, and the time spent underneath her tree.
A small amount of rustling was heard from the other line as Gaara finished his tale. A feminine voice mumbled in an inaudible sleepy tone and Shikamaru quietly, but hastily replied and told her to go back to sleep.
"So, what are you calling me for?" Shikamaru trailed a lone finger down the soft curves of Temari's arm, admiring the feminine tone to them.
"Shikamaru." Gaara deadpanned.
"Alright, alright. Have you tried just being…nice?"
Nice? Had he tried being nice? The better question here was 'had he ever been nice'?
"Shikamaru, have I ever been nice?" Gaara sarcastically chided as he narrowed his eyes and angrily picked the lint off of the top of his sofa.
Shikamaru continued tracing Temari's arms, admiring the small smile she kept in her sleep from the action. He tried to recall a time where Gaara was seemingly 'nice' to the opposite sex, or anyone else for that matter. Not even to him. He was, at best, a troubled soul so to say. He needed someone to treat him kindly on both his good and bad days or else he'd be alone for God knows how long, and by the looks of it, this Sakura girl was able to get past his rough exterior. How? He had no clue, but Gaara should thank the gods she did and at least try to be nice back before he permanently loses her, before he even has a chance to have her that is.
"Look Sabaku, you need to be nice. At this rate if you only give off inklings, extremely rude inklings, that you may have the tiniest of feelings for her she's not going to want to stick around for very long to find out if those feelings are even going to grow."
An exasperated sigh was heard from Gaara's end. A sigh of defeat, Shikamaru assumed. He inwardly smiled at his small victory. "So what are you doing tomorrow Gaara?"
A quizzical look found its way to Gaara's face and his mouth sank into a small pout. "Shikamaru, I don't really see how that's relevant to this conversation," he squinted his eyes in annoyance.
Sometimes Gaara could be dumber than one of those ever present commercial ads for useless products. Shikamaru guessed he'd have to spell it out for him or else he'd get no sleep whatsoever.
"No Gaara, it is. What are you going to do tomorrow?"
A loud smack was heard as Gaara hit his forehead with this hand on the other end and trailed it down his facial features, "Shikamaru, if you ask me a stupid question like that again I'm going to hang up the phone!-"
Right, he was going to hang up on him after he'd desperately called asking for advice.
"- Why don't you just stop beating around the bush and tell me what you're trying to get at?"
Shikamaru rolled his eyes and laid back to make himself comfortable upon his pillow. Temari soon rolled over on top of his chest, snuggling into the warmness and comfort radiating from him. "Do you have class tomorrow?"
Gaara thought for a moment before answering, "No."
"Good, then you're going to go to her house like the pathetic stalker you are and be nice to her, alright? But don't creep her out too much. I imagine you've been mood swinging like crazy on her. Troublesome, really."
"So you just want me to waltz into her house-"
"-No, I want you to be invited in." Shikamaru smiled at his smart retort.
"Fine. I'll be invited in and then what?"
"And then you put the moves on her like I did your sister."
"Like you WHA-"
"Goodnight Gaara." Shikamaru hung up the phone and lightly chuckled to himself as he settled into bed.
"Gaara calling about a girl? That's new."
Shikamaru looked down at the blonde stretching on his chest, "How long have you been up?"
"Just a little while. Does she like him?"
He nodded.
"Good… So you put the moves on me, eh?" She smiled up at him with hooded eyes.
Shikamaru laughed and rolled them over in bed. He definitely wasn't going to sleep tonight.
-A.o.D-
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