Chapter 9: And All That Could Have Been (part 1)
Mary lay there in the dark. It was better being up in Rhoda's room with someone rather than alone and nervous over every little thing that happened. There was still that little aprehension lingering in the back of her head though. The fact that he had gone out of his way like that bothered her. Whether he had meant anything by it or not, he had still obviously put a lot of thought into his words.
The worst part though, was that she didn't see this part of Greg when they were dating. More or less, she was starting to blame quite a bit of this on herself. She dated this man and never once noticed that something was wrong. Then, when she did find out about his wife, that was the only thing that she saw wrong. He was a cheater. As of now, that was the least of his flaws.
She began to play with the edge of the pillow case with her fingers. This was one of the first times that she had been able to calmly think about her situation with Greg.
Suddenly, something had occured to her. She began to worry about the baby. What if they turned out completely like Greg? She could handle the similarity in looks, but what about the personality? It was a weird thought, but possible.
There was something else to be afriad of. Even if it wasn't anything like him, would she be able to constantly protect them if Greg decided to just randomly go after them?
She cuold move out to another city, but what were the odds that he was watching her? There was no real way of stopping him from moving to the same city.
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Greg sat in the darkest part of the room. The only part where the sun had not revealed itself. There was no emotion in his face anymore. Something happened the night before. A realization that he could not have something. It all had hit him.
The one thing he wanted, the only thing he wanted, he couldn't have. The only thing that he had worked to have in his entire life. It was all gone.
The only thing that he held in his hand was a gun. One bullet was all he had needed, and that was all he had brought with him.
With his head back against the wall, he thought back on a night a while back. The night that he had first taken Mary out to dinner. The night that she had said yes to him instead of David. The night that he had actually won something. The night that he actually felt like a human being. The night he was alive.
Now the prize was off running around with the loser. The thought alone made him want to throw up.
In his mind though, it wasn't David's fault. He could completely understand why he wanted her, why he needed her in his life. The one he held at fault was Mary.
No one ever told Mary that she had to leave him. There was nothing that ever stated that he needed to be with his wife and dump her. He had thought that he had made it clear to her time and time again that he would have done anything for her.
Of course, none of that mattered any more. Nothing mattered now.
"Here goes nothing," Greg said as he slowly lifted the gun to his head. His shaky hand gripped onto the handle as he slipped his finger around to the trigger.
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Rhoda woke up and looked over to see whether or not Mary was up yet. Seeing that she wasn't, she tried to be as quiet as she could while she got up and got ready for the day. Surprisingly, Mary slept in until noon that day. As long as it was one of her days off, it didn't matter.
"Morning sunshine," Rhoda said as Mary sat up and looked around.
"What?" Mary asked. She had forgotten where she was for a moment. It was nice to forget her her current situation for a brief amount of time. "What time is it?"
Rhoda, who sat on her bed cutting out pictures from various magazines, looked down at her watch. "Its the bright and early time of twelve fifteen."
"Are you sure?" Mary asked. She had never slept in that late before. "Why didn't you wake me up?"
"You needed the sleep," Rhoda said. "Trust me, you wouldn't have slept that late if you didn't."
Mary just sat there and thought for a minute. She was right, she did need the sleep. Actually, last night she had slept better than she had in a while. "I guess you're right."
Rhoda looked over and wondered how well she had actually slept. During the night before, she could hear her mumble things about Greg. "Was there anything you wanted to do today?"
Mary shrugged. She was still trying to completely wake up from the heavy sleep that she had the night before. "I don't know yet. Let me go get ready and I'll see." She looked up to Rhoda. "Don't let me stop you from going anywhere though."
Rhoda smirked. "If you haven't noticed yet, I don't exactly have much of a social life. Trust me, I'm not in a big hurry to head out."
Mary rolled her eyes. "All right," she yawned as she got out of bed. "I'll be back in a little bit."
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Mary walked down the small stairway to her door and stopped the put her key into the lock. As soon as she inserted the key, she realized that the door had already been unlocked.
Frozen there, she stared at the door knob. Her eyes were widened with disbelief.
At the moment, she had no idea what she should do. There was the chance that she had just forgotten to lock the door on her way out. It wasn't very likely, but there was still a chance.
"You have got to stop this," she said to herself. She was tired of being afraid. She was sick of always having to reassure herself that there was nothing there.
With a small amount of hesitation, she opened the door and stepped into her apartment. The place where she had once felt safe and had enjoyed. The place she now feared to be alone in.