Chapter 13: For Everything a Reason
Two months had passed since Mary had shot at Greg. It had been determined that she was innocent, and that there was no need for a hearing. Greg on the other hand, was going to be tried in court.
Standing before an open box, she carefully placed a pile of books inside and then taped the top closed. This was going to be her last night at this apartment. Rhoda had helped her find an affordable two bedroom apartment that wasn't too far away. Everyone had volunteered to help her move the next day.
It wasn't going to be hard leaving. Sure, this place held some good memories for her, but the bad ones were bad enough to cancel them out almost completely.
Mary walked over and picked up a basket containing some of the baby supplies that she had gathered. A few gifts from Rhoda, a couple from Phyllis, along with random things that Lou, Ted and Murray had gotten her. Pretty much, the only person who hadn't gotten her anything for the baby yet was David. She didn't know why, but it bothered her. It wasn't so much that he didn't get her anything, but the fact that he hadn't acknowledged the baby. There was no conversation at all between the two about it. It was beginning to scare her.
Blankly staring down at the random supplies such as clothes and blankets and stuffed animals, she thought about David. Whether or not this was something that he could handle. Yes, he had been there for her, every second that she needed him he was there. He held her as she cried, took care of her if was sick and made her feel safe if she had a nightmare. He had no problem doing anything for her, but that didn't change the fact that she was having Greg's baby.
"You alright there?"
Mary's attention was brought to the door where Rhoda stood. "Yeah," she answered before carrying the basket over to the pile of boxes.
"I was only gone ten minutes, you could've waited so I could all that," Rhoda stated as she closed the door behind her.
Mary laughed. "Don't worry about it. I'm pregnant, not severely wounded," she responded.
Rhoda laughed. "Come on kid, you're doin' it wrong," Rhoda teased as she walked over to the kitchen and started packing the plates. "When some one offers to do everything for you, you let them," she informed her.
Mary just shook her head. She wanted to say something back, but her thoughts were too crowded with the questions surrounding her and David.
"I know I'm not a psychic or anything, but I can tell for a fact that there is something bothering you. Spill," Rhoda ordered as she set everything down.
Mary looked over to Rhoda and sighed. "I don't think he's ready for all of this," she wearily confessed.
Rhoda raised her eyebrows in suspicion as she walked over and leaned on the counter. She knew who Mary was talking about, it was just hard for her to believe that David wouldn't be ready. "David?" Rhoda tried to clarify.
"Yes," Mary answered as she sat down at the table.
"The same David that once came out here on a moment's notice in the middle of the night because you were freaking out?" Rhoda questioned.
Mary just nodded.
Rhoda stood up. "You mean the one who took a few days off when your morning sickness got real bad so that he could take of you?" Rhoda asked.
Mary put her hand up. "I know what you're doing Rhoda, and you're right," she admitted. "But, he still hasn't talked to me about the baby yet. For the past few months, I don't think he has even mentioned one word about it. Nothing. I'm just afraid that he's trying to pretend that it doesn't exist or something," Mary desperately explained.
"You really think that's it?" Rhoda asked as she walked around the counter and joined her at the table.
"What do you think?" Mary asked.
"Honestly kid? I think you might be overreacting to something that's not even there," Rhoda replied.
Mary sighed in defeat. "Then why else would he be avoiding the topic?" Mary questioned, looking over towards the basket.
"Have you tried bringing it up?" Rhoda implored.
"Yes, but he doesn't say anything about it. I told him that the baby had started kicking, he congratulated me and then moved on to another subject," Mary stated as she turned back to Rhoda.
"Maybe he's afraid that you'll start thinking about Greg if you two talk about it," Rhoda suggested, hoping to keep Mary optimistic.
"I'll talk to him tonight about it. I'm supposed to have dinner at his place," Mary responded.
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Mary walked down the narrow hallway at the hotel that David was staying at. Most of the time, she had loved going to see David, but tonight was different. She was currently preparing herself for the worst. Each situation possible had been playing through her head. If Rhoda was right, then everything would turn out good and she would be able to tell him that she was getting better now. On the other hand, if she was right, she had no idea what she was going to do. This was someone that she had grown attached to, someone that she had actually loved, and if she were right about him not being ready, that would all have to end.
Here was there, and here was her moment of revelation. The night that she would find out what was really going on in David's head. "Hi," she happily greeted as David opened the door. The smile was forced upon her face as she stepped into the room. The quicker she could get this out of the way, the better. There was no need for anxiety and anticipation through out the entire dinner.
"How are you?" David asked as he grabbed the plates off the cart.
Mary stood back and watched. "I actually have something that I need to talk to you about, and I need you to be honest with me," Mary responded. The smile was replaced by a look of concern.
David paused as he looked to her. "Alright," he said as he slowly walked over to her. That phrase was never good to hear. "What is it?" he asked, grabbing her arms.
Mary caught him staring into her eyes, searching for something. "How do you feel about the baby?" she blurted out.
David stopped and stared into her eyes. That was a question that he didn't know how to answer. Every time that he thought about her and that baby, he thought about Greg, Greg's baby. Everything that Greg had done to her came flooding to through his mind. Somehow, subconsciously, a part of him had gradually started to blame the baby for everything that had happened.
Mary saw his hesitation and nodded. "I see," she sadly whispered.
"Look," David pleaded to keep her attention. "You know that no matter what happens, I'll be there for you. And I'm sure that once that baby is born and I get to know it, I'll feel differently," he offered.
"Is it because it's Greg's?" Mary questioned.
David sighed as he let dropped her wrists from his hands. The very thought of what he was about to tell her disturbed him. "Yes," he admitted as he adverted his eyes. He couldn't bare to look into her eyes right now, to see what she was feeling. "It reminds me of him," he confessed. "I know that it's wrong, but that's just how it is," he explained.
Mary sighed as she ran her fingers through her hair. "You know, I felt the same way when I first found out that I was pregnant. I resented Greg and the baby and I was scared," Mary stated. She sat down at the table and looked up to him. "But, I got over it. I actually love this baby now, and I have learned to accept what happened between Greg I. I don't forgive him, and I still hate him, but I'm not going to let it control every aspect of my life," she said with tears beginning to form in her eyes.
David looked over to her. "I'm sorry, I just can't think that way about it yet. I don't mean to hurt you, but every time I hear about the baby, think about it, see your stomach starting to show, I am reminded of the fact that Greg took my chance. He got the relationship and he's the one who gets to father your baby. The one who abused you and tormented you go to do everything that I wanted to do before I even had a chance," he explained with his voice steadily rising. The jealousy was raging within him and showing itself through his eyes as he watched her.
Mary did her best to hold back all the tears. "What do you want me to say to that?" she sharply asked. "You know that I wished this was someone else's baby. You know that if it were at all possible I would go back and make sure to go out with you instead of making the mistake of going out with him," Mary defended herself as she finally allowed herself to cry. "There's nothing I can do though," she softly added.
David briefly closed his eyes in attempt to shut out the guilt that he was feeling. "I love you Mary!" he stated. Opening his eyes, he calmed himself down and stood before Mary. "Don't you understand? It's hard for me to see you like this because I love you," he said.
Mary stood up and took his hands in hers. "I can't change what's happening. I know that you love me, and I love you too, but as of a few months ago, I'm part of a package deal. Either you take both me and the baby, or you take neither," she said.
David stood there frozen, he couldn't speak. His mind went completely blank as he tried to scramble to find the words to say.
Mary looked to him with understanding and nodded. "I see," she said as she let go of his hands. "You don't have to show up tomorrow if you don't want to," she said as she walked out.
David just stood there and watched as she closed the door behind her. He wanted to stop her, to tell her to stay, but he didn't. Instead, he just let the woman he loved walk out on him. He would go tomorrow and help her out, it would be awkward between them, but it would give him a chance to think through what he wanted to say and to try and decently apologize.
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Mary walked into her apartment and closed the door behind her. As she passed the couch, she tossed her purse onto it and hastened to the bathroom to get changed and ready for bed. As far as she was concerned, this was enough. There was no need for this night to go on any longer.
A knock at the door interrupted her and stopped her in her tracks. Reluctantly, she turned around and trudged over to the door. She had it set in her mind that when she opened that door, she was going to see David. As much as she hated to admit it to herself, she hoped it was. Just knowing that he would come after her would make tonight seem like it wasn't a complete waste. To her surprise though, and to her dismay, it was Detective Kinderman. "Hello," she weakly greeted.
"Hello Ms. Richards. I just wanted to be real quick. I'm on my way back to the station, but I have some news for you," he explained.
"Would you like to come in for a moment?" Mary offered.
Kinderman held his hand up. "No, I just wanted to tell you that we won't be needing you to speak against Mr. Thompson in court," he started.
Mary's eyes widened at the announcement. "Oh?" she asked.
"He um, he killed himself today," he went on to explain.
Mary lowered her head and nodded. "I see," she responded, lifting her head back up.
Kinderman stood there for a moment and pondered whether or not he should give her the note that was left to her. He had already sent the note left for his wife, so he figured it was only right that Mary was able to see hers too if she wanted. "Before he did it, he wrote out a note to you," he said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out the white crumbled envelope.
Mary eyed the letter. There was a sudden curiosity brought on by it's presence, but she didn't know if she really wanted to see what he had to say in his final hours. Without saying anything, she reached out and accepted the envelope. Kinderman stood there for a minute to see if she was actually all right with all of this. There was no facial emotion for him to go off what so ever, just a blank frozen stare as her fingers slightly caressed the sealed part.
"Good night Ms. Richards," Kinderman said.
Mary quickly jerked her head up. "Uh, good night, Mr, Detective Kinderman," she called out as he left. She was too flustered by the letter to think straight. She had to read it, she had to know. Without hesitating, she hurried up to Rhoda's apartment and knocked on the door. "Rhoda? It's important!" she urgently stated.
As soon as the door opened, Mary walked passed her and sat down on the bed. There was no need to tell her what she was about to do, Rhoda would figure it outAll she had to do was wait patiently as her friend closed the door and came back to join her. "What's ya got there?" Rhoda questioned as she motioned to the envelope.
Mary nervously looked up to her. "Greg's note. He wanted me to know why he killed himself," she answered.
Rhoda returned a look of disbelief and slowly sat down next to her.
"I didn't want to be alone when I read it," Mary stated as she began to open it.
"I don't blame you," Rhoda commented.
Mary quickly ripped the letter out of the envelope and unfolded it. No need to waste any time. "Mary," she started reading out loud. "As you know, I have thought of you often. It's quite a bit of an understatement, but you get the point. I have something to say though, something important. I am sorry. The more time I have had to think about everything, the more I find that I truly am a hypocrite. I said I loved you, and I did, however, I started to confuse love with obsession. You were the only person who ever really made me happy, hell, I didn't even know what happiness was until I met you. You were my everything. When you left me, you also took with you everything that gave my life any meaning to me what so ever. Then, the baby, my baby, you told me that I could never see my own child. That person was about to be the only proof that we were ever together, the only proof that I was once a happy man. You pushed me over the edge Mary. You took everything from me and expected me to understand. Well, I don't and I never will. All of my love and jealousy was converted to anger and taken out on you. Like I said, I am sorry, but I never will understand your ways of torturing me. Now, here I am, getting ready to go to prison because you shot me. Congratulations Mary, you win. You gave me the world and then took it away and ruined my life. You win. Funny thing is, I still love you."
Just to make sure of what she read, Mary silently reread the letter to herself. With tear filled eyes, she looked over to Rhoda. "I won," she said before beginning to sob.
Rhoda gave her a look of sympathy as she reached over and embraced her.