Pardon for taking as long as I did getting this one out. It's been a process.

This one gets pretty intense, sorry for the camp-out. Enjoy?

JJ's POV

I spent a few days keeping to myself after that first time, treasuring the marks across me. I caught myself at least four times, naked in front of my full-body mirror in my bedroom, running my fingers over the lightening marks across my chest, the pink on my wrists from my own tie. It was hard to believe Dee had had his hands on me, that he had left these here for me. He didn't need to be as forceful as he had been with me that night, though. I would have done anything he asked of me. Thinking about it nearly brought me to tears, I couldn't explain the mixture of emotions running through me.

Elation plagued me most of the time, until I saw Dee with Ryo. That or when I lay in bed at night, wrapped around the shirt Dee had torn. It hadn't been my favorite shirt, but the fact that he had destroyed something of mine must mean he felt passion for me in some form. Right? When I gave myself time to think about it things got a little more confusing. My behavior couldn't have been so bad that it constituted being hurt. I understood that he needed to be in control of something, Ryo had him whipped. It was just upsetting that the control he wanted meant I had to be, well, humiliated. And he made it feel so disgustingly anonymous- Covering my face and not letting me touch him when all I wanted to do was savor his warm skin and gaze into his eyes.

I couldn't help wondering when our next chance would be. At first I thought it might have just been a one-shot thing, and that one night would be all I'd ever have to hold on to. But there had been instances at work over the next few days... He would find me as if he had been seeking me out when I was alone in one room or another. Those were some of the most confusing interactions I had ever been involved in.

A couple days after the locker room he found me in Rose's office, Rose had gone off on a call and I needed an old file from one of his cabinets. I had called him to make sure it was kosher to infiltrate his office and he gave me the go-ahead. Dee must have heard the call or seen me slip in there because I had barely reached the cabinet when I heard the door click open again behind me. He had whispered for me not to turn around, to continue whatever I was doing, and the door clicked shut again. I couldn't help blushing while I bent to dig through a low cabinet, and I felt him against my backside. I could feel the heat under his pants, he was stiff, which took me off-guard. He just stood there, letting me feel him while I tried to remember which letters in the alphabet came first. My fingers fumbled through the files as I became more and more flustered. One of his hands slid around me, feeling my fluttering stomach. I found the file I needed and slowly straightened myself, basking in his body pressing against me. His breath caressed the nape of my neck, setting off more butterflies. He asked if I wanted him, to which I could only nod. "Another time." he had said, and he was gone. I had chalked that one up to him being a tease. It was one of his nicer attacks.

There were other times that felt more like bullying. I didn't care for those. I felt like I had stumbled onto the set of Secretary more than once. He had passed me in the main file room on his way to find a file for his own case. Just as I found the file I was looking for he snatched it, shoved me into the cabinet, and kept walking. I followed him, not wanting to say anything to contradict him, lest he get any meaner, and came around the corner just in time to see him slip it under a cabinet. I stood there for a moment, mouth agape. He just smirked at me and left. It took me a solid ten minutes to get it. I got back to my desk and Dee was there, chatting with Drake like nothing. I was so irritated I wanted to scream, but I clearly couldn't chew Dee out in front of my partner for the weird things he was doing to me, so I sat and ignored him. Trying to focus on on the statements in front of me instead of Dee laughing with Drake, messing with the pens in my pride mug and leaning on my desk, was the most frustrating thing I could imagine. "Find that file?" Dee had asked me, and I could feel the anger bubbling in me. "Don't be rude." He told me, I must have been glaring, and he walked back to his own desk leaving me to stew in my anger.

What's worse is that he had made plans a few times to come over after work. Plans that I had been thoroughly excited about. I was going to cook for him, please him, maybe even convince him to sleep over... the first time I had already cooked our meal by time he texted me saying he would not be coming over after all. The next time I had taken a shower, primped and preened, then got the call. The next time I just waited, ridden with anxiety. Not even a call, he just didn't show. I was losing sleep over it, and he just kept stringing me along.

After a week of this, surely someone should notice something was off. Drake had suspicions from the get-go. As soon as I said the word "boyfriend" to him he looked skeptical. With all the upset Dee caused me at work, I wouldn't be surprised if Drake would catch on, sooner rather than later. He is an excellent detective and is particularly protective of me, but for some reason he wasn't putting two and two together. I almost wanted him to. If it wouldn't have ruined Dee and Ryo's relationship and the possibility of me going all the way with Dee, I might have mentioned something to him.

It was the stupidest, most childish thing ever, but despite all the hassling Dee bestowed on me I still desired him. In some twisted way his teasing and cruelty made me want him more. Maybe I wanted to show him I could be good, I would do what he needed, so he would stop being so mean. I knew it was completely nuts, but I wanted him to love me like he loved Ryo, I ached for it. When I imagined him coming home from work with me, eating dinner with me, just watching the stupid shows on TV, using my shower and wandering around in just a towel- Simple things like that excited me beyond words. The fact that Dee trusted me enough to keep my yap shut about this strange thing we had spoke volumes to me. It was our secret, we were in this together, just us two against the world-

I couldn't think like that. I had to stop. He and Ryo were in love, I had to just take what I could get from him. I might even be able to get him to talk to me. I'd love to hear from him where Ryo doesn't match up to me.

Another week passed. Two weeks now, since he came home with me from Bernie's and all I've gotten were these confusing signals. I couldn't concentrate on work anymore, my performance was slipping. I needed him to touch me again... or something.

I stared dumbly at the papers in front of me, trying to figure out how and when to beg him- no, that was weak, ask him to grace my apartment with his presence again. It would have to be today, I couldn't take much more of this.

"How's the boyfriend?" Drake asked monotonously. He always seemed to know when my mind was on Dee.

"Reggie's fine." I answered. I had given Drake the name of my cousin, it was the first name that came to mind. Fortunately Drake would never have any reason to meet Reggie.

"You don't seem fine." he observed. "That worries me, JJ. You need to stop going after unavailable men, you're only hurting yourself."

"I'm fine." I insisted. "I just need to talk to him tonight. If he can get away from wifey." I almost glanced toward Ryo, but managed to control myself.

"Do you mind if I ask what's been going on between you two?" Drake leaned forward to speak in low tones. I didn't know how to navigate these treacherous waters.

"Well," The eggshells I had to walk on here had edges like glass, "He hasn't come around lately, because of his other half. And he's been playing... mind games or something with me."

"Like what?" I couldn't get into that without completely giving us away. I would have to lie, I hate lying to Drake. For some reason I felt like he could read me like a book.

"I don't want to talk about it." I sighed. Drake raised his eyebrows at me, egging me on with that damn charm he had. "It's like flirting, but... mean. It's hard to explain."

"Well, if he doesn't make it over tonight maybe we can go for drinks, you can tell me all about it. Work isn't really the place." Tell me about it. Drake sat back in his chair and scrutinized me, arms firmly crossed. His foot landed against mine but he didn't move it, making me blush. Straight Drake and his ways would have swept me off my feet long ago if he wasn't... well, straight. Taken can change, straight's a little harder to get past. "Just know you can call me anytime, JJ. Anytime."

"I know, Drake." I tried to focus on work again. "I'll call you if he doesn't come." I glanced up and he seemed to be smiling, even if his lips were hidden behind his coffee mug.

An hour later I watched Ryo leave his desk. Dee was all alone. I excused myself from Drake and made my way over to him, heart pounding. I pressed my palms to the wood of his desk and kept my voice low, doing my best to keep it steady as well.

"Dee." He looked up, mildly surprised to see me. "I need to see you." I breathed.

"You want to see me?" That cruel smirk he'd been giving me for the last couple weeks slid across his face and I almost shuddered. "How badly?" Oh, god.

"I need you. I really do. If nothing else, we need to talk." He set down his pen. Here it comes.

"You have to beg me." More of this. I would have refused, but I wanted him.

"Please, Dee-"

"Get down on your knees, and beg me." You've got to be kidding me.

"We're at work-" I started. He picked his pen up again.

"Then I guess you really don't need to talk to me." He went back to work.

"Jesus, Dee!" I sighed, exasperated by his coolness. I swallowed the lump in my throat and slowly dropped to one knee. I could practically feel my pride seeping out of me, dripping on my shoes and leaving a thick puddle on the floor beneath me. "Dee, please." I nearly whispered, "I really, really need you. Tonight. Please." His eyes roamed my slumped shoulders, I assumed he was mostly reveling in his power over me, his eyes actually met mine for a second.

"Good enough. I'll meet you at your place as soon as I can get there." He turned back to his work without another word.

"For sure? You'll be there this time?" I asked, keeping the hurt out of my voice.

"Promise." I didn't know what a promise from him meant at this point, but it would have to do. I stood and headed back to my own desk, utterly humiliated. It probably didn't look like much to anyone else, but the oppressive weight in my chest told me more had gone on than just a guy kneeling next to his friend's desk. Drake was giving me an odd stare and I realized how it must have looked to him. I pulled out my phone for show and told him I was going to the restroom to make the call to Reggie.

I kind of wished Drake would back off a little. What did this have to do with him? Why did he always have to bud in on my relationships? Sure, he was a great comfort when the relationships ended and he did give some good advice when it was needed, but that didn't mean he could be so nosy. I hid in the bathroom, biding time as if I were making a phone call. When I figured I had spent enough time for a brief argument and reconciliation in there, I went back to my desk. Ryo was back as well, and the day progressed, Drake's eyes only leaving his work to burn holes in me.

Our shift ended, Drake gave me a nod before heading out, and I left for home. One of the best things about living in New York is how close everything seems. I own a bicycle, but rarely use it. Bernie's is only a few blocks away from work, and home is only a couple blocks further. I took my time walking home, doubtful that Dee would actually come over.

Like I thought, I had to wait a couple hours before I got a text from him. I didn't know what to expect when I hit view.

Be over in a few. My heart raced, and I hurried to tidy up. I washed my dishes in a flurry, nearly breaking them.

I paced, muted the TV, and paced some more.

It took about fifteen minutes before I heard the quick rap at my door, signaling Dee's arrival. He smelled of beer and sweat. The heat had started lasting into the night, an early Summer was upon us.

"You've been drinking?" I asked, only concerned because of how he had treated me the last time when we were both drunk.

"I had a beer." He muttered, scanning my cramped apartment while I shut the door behind him. I leaned back against the door, admiring him in my living room.

"We need to talk about what we're doing here." I started, heart in my throat and probably on my sleeve as well. Here I go again, giving an unavailable man an ultimatum. I had to stop doing this to myself. I took a breath, "I need to know that you really want this. If not, go home, because I can't take-" Dee silenced me with a wave of his hand.

"I know what I want, JJ. I know what I need, and I know what you need. Did you honestly think I didn't have this planned out?" His eyes tore through mine and I swear I could feel my soul recoil. "I needed to know that you could take a hint. I wanted you to come to me. It took a couple weeks, but I knew you'd come crawling. At the rate you were going I thought it would have actually taken longer."

I was speechless. The last two weeks of my life had been an intricate manipulation. Having always known Dee to be a crafty son of a bitch, I was disgusted with how surprised I was. I was blindsided and I didn't have anything to say about it.

With a jerk of his head he beckoned me, and I went to him. "Strip." I only hesitated for a moment before doing as he asked. I was shaking so hard from nervousness I thought I could hear my teeth clattering together. He examined me and my face burned, despite the air conditioner humming at my window. "Don't look at me." I lowered my eyes and tried to steady my breath, tried to relax. Dee ran a thumb down my jaw and placed a gentle kiss on the tingling trail it left behind. "I was pretty rough on you last time, wasn't I?" I nodded, afraid to speak. His fingers slid over the marks he had left. They were barely visible now, but the tenderness remained. I let the odd pleasure roll my eyes shut. "Does that feel good?" Dee murmured.

"Yes." I breathed, not daring to say anything else.

"I like that." Dee told me, unbuckling his belt slowly. "You like me a lot, don't you JJ?"

"Yes." I said again, eyes on his belt as he slipped it off. He folded it and used it to lift my chin, I still didn't dare to meet his eyes.

"You're so good, JJ. So cooperative." His voice was laced with honeyed poison, it made my blood run cold but I couldn't move. "I think I'll keep you. But I need to know something." He started to take his shirt off and my eyes were glued to his abs, the sharp indentations of his toned hips.

"Anything." I barely got out.

"What do you like about me?"

"You're gorgeous." I blurted, and bit my lip, fully expecting him to be angry with me for speaking so suddenly, but he just grinned. It wasn't the mean expression he had been giving me lately, it was soft, even sweet. He seemed to blush. "You're incredibly smart." I continued, noting his suddenly relaxed demeanor. "You always smell good, you're sexy as hell-" My words were once again silenced, but this time by his warm lips on mine. For a moment my love for him swelled in my chest, then I felt the teeth.

He bit my lip hard. Pain flashed through me, my automatic response was to pull away, but he clamped down harder. I tasted blood. His eyes were on mine the whole time, wide and demented.

"Dee, shtop it!" I pleaded, I was starting to believe he was going to bite clean through my lip, it was agonizing. My hands raked at his face until he finally let go. "What the fuck?" I shouted, tears of pain clouding my vision. I dabbed my lip and sure enough, my fingertips came away spattered with blood.

I didn't see his hand coming, I was too distracted by the blood and he slapped me so hard I lost my balance and fell. The clap echoed around the room. "Shut your fucking mouth." He growled. I stared up at Dee, bewildered. He wiped my blood off his chin and looked at his hand while I touched my stinging face, still stunned, and Dee stooped to my level. I recoiled in sheer terror. It looked like he was going to grab me, the rage in his eyes dancing. "You go to the bedroom and wait for me." He commanded. I didn't move, I couldn't. "Go!" He screamed so near my face it jolted me out of my shock and I scrambled into my bedroom. I briefly thought of shutting and locking my door, but feared his wrath. I decided to sit on the bed and wait. As soon as I settled in on the foot of the mattress the adrenaline hit me and I began to shake, and cry. The blood dripped off my chin, dotting my legs while I stifled the sobs that were wracking my body.

What had I done so wrong? Why was he doing this? My mind raced, but only seemed to come back to square one. I had fucked up. But didn't know what I had done. I listened to Dee shuffling around in my kitchen, a plate broke, making me jump.

I suddenly felt extremely vulnerable, sitting here naked, sobbing like a child, just waiting for Dee to come in and do God-knows-what to me. I drew my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them tightly.

Dee appeared in the doorway with an extension cord. I didn't want to know why he had it.

"My God, you're beautiful right now." He practically moaned when he saw me. I didn't understand how I could be beautiful right then, tears and blood smearing my features and probably a red hand print covering the left side of my face. He stepped closer and I scooted back on my bed in fear. "Take it easy." He said soothingly, and I froze. "Come on back." I did as he said, cautiously sitting at the edge of the foot again. Dee stood in front of me, confused feelings stirred in me. He was so sexy to me I felt compelled to touch him, but feared the possible outcome more. So I sat there, tortured by this image in front of me, until he shed his pants. I must have been attractive to him, the sobs still bubbling from between my lips and all, judging by his level of arousal. The extension cord fell to the floor and he grabbed my hair roughly, guiding my mouth to him. "Lick it." I did so. I didn't have a choice. He watched me, moved me where he wanted attention.

His other hand came out of nowhere and he smeared my own blood and tears across my face. I shut my eyes, more tears making their escape, and wondered if my lip would need stitches.

"You're going to be my good little slut, JJ." He told me, and I shuddered. He grabbed my face and clamped his hand on my jaw painfully, forcing my mouth open. He invaded my mouth, choking me worse than my sobs had. "You're going to let me do whatever I want to you." I couldn't open my eyes. I almost didn't want to. I didn't want to know that it was Dee doing this to me. My lip throbbed and I could feel a rope of blood, presumably, dangling from my wound.

Dee pulled my mouth away from him and wiped my eyes. I peered up at his glazed expression. My chest ached, but my sobs had subsided.

"My pretty little whore." He whispered, his hand made it's way down my chin and left a streak of blood down my chest. He stared at me a moment, running his clean hand through my hair gently. "You're so obedient." He ran a thumb over the injury on my lip, making me hiss, but I didn't dare move away from his touch. He squeezed it and I gasped in pain. He stroked himself slowly, he squeezed my lip harder and twisted, eliciting a groan from my raw throat.

"Dee, please." I said breathlessly. His torture paused, but the hand working on him didn't. "Please stop." My voice broke and the warmth of my tears made it's way down my cheeks again. I couldn't take much more of this. All I wanted was for him to love me back, to want to be around me, to want to be with only me. This was, after all, my chance to win him over, but I was starting to question what I'd be willing to put up with for that. I realized I shouldn't have opened my fat mouth when I saw his fist.

He punched the side of my head, sending a hot stinging through the shell of my ear. I yelped and put a hand to my ear, the pain was so harsh that I couldn't feel my own touch.

"I'm sorry!" I cried, but he was already swinging at me again, he smashed my fingers against my head, I grabbed them in pain. He swung again, this time hitting me hard in the face, making my head jerk back. "I'm sorry! Dee, please, I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" I bowed my head, trying to avoid any more facial damage. He landed probably eight more blows before he stopped. His panting echoed around the room. I could feel where I would have lumps on my head, and that I was rapidly developing a black eye. I peered up at him from under my lashes while the world seemed to slow to stop. His face mirrored that first night, gaunt and pissed.

I couldn't believe that had just happened. I knew going in that he would be aggressive with me, but I didn't expect this. The tears were welling in me again, forcing me to choke them back. I wanted to scream at Dee that he had no right to lay a hand on me like that, I wanted to shove him away from me, I wanted to run. More than anything, I wanted to talk to Drake.

Dee had me by the hair again in a flash, he threw me down on the bed. The extension cord was in his hand, fear pumped through me. I didn't want him to use it on me, I whimpered nervously.

"You're going to be a good whore for me now, okay?" Dee told me. I could only nod, I couldn't say no. "Wrists." I held them up for him to wrap the cord around. He wrapped it tight, too tight for me to wriggle out of, it was nearly cutting off my circulation. He used one end, the female end, to bind me. He climbed onto the bed and pulled my legs up over his hips, he met my eyes while he gripped the cord around my wrists and held it down over my head. His deep green pools held me firmer than the orange makeshift rope ever could. "Grab the frame." He commanded. I held onto the wooden frame with both hands, he let go of my wrists. "You want me?" He asked, running his hand down my neck. I couldn't answer, because I didn't know. "Do you want me?" He said through gritted teeth, his hand wrapped around my throat. "Tell me."

"I want you." I breathed.

"Yeah?" He forced his fingers into my mouth. The salty flavor of his flesh burned my sore lip, it must be sliced open inside too. I counted myself lucky he didn't have a straight bite, or else he could have put a hole right through me. He prepped me roughly, sending the blood still in my body rushing south. I started feeling dizzy as my arousal accumulated, I must have lost more blood than I thought. Dee spit in his fist and lubed himself up quickly before pushing into me. I gritted my teeth against the pain, it had been a while since I had been with someone, Dee didn't seem to care. He moaned low and long, his head dropping back, eyes closed. "Jesus, you're tight."

"Dee-" I groaned, wanting more than anything for him to kiss me, for him to do something nice.

"You like how I feel inside you?" God, yes.

"I love how you feel, Dee." The hand he had around my throat tightened, cutting off the nutrients to my brain. My body immediately broke out in pinpricks. I felt drunk, it was amazing. Every nerve was tingling, making the pleasure even more intense as he took me in his hand. He pushed faster, deeper, I caught myself moaning so loud I thought I would tear my vocal cords, neighbors be damned. The room blurred, and I had the distinct feeling that I was rocking from side to side while Dee grunted above me. When I reached my orgasm I could feel it radiating through every fiber of my being, like I was hyper-sensitive. Peal after peal shook me, leaving me drenched.

Dee's hand joined the other around my throat and he put all his weight on my windpipe, I couldn't breathe. He kept on, groaning in appreciation while I gasped for breath. I brought my bound hands down to try to pull his hands off me so I could get some air.

"Dee-" I gasped, he tightened his grip further, I thought my eyes would pop out of my head. He was going to kill me. Dee was going to strangle me to death. His prints would be permanently pressed into my flesh, my chest was heaving, my lungs burning, while I clawed at his hands. My own hands were drained of strength, I couldn't pull him off me. He let go with one hand just to punch me with it. It was his left hand, so he didn't have as much strength behind it, but it hurt nonetheless. With my hypersensitivity from the lack of blood making it to my brain, it hurt more than it should have. "Stop-" I choked. I was blacking out, the room was spinning...

I could feel Dee's body slow, his breath caught in his throat as he reached his own oblivion. When he finished he released me and I gasped loudly, coughed, fighting to fill my lungs with each breath. The excess of oxygen left me dizzier than I had been when he was choking me out. Dee's body dropped on me heavily, trapping my arms between us. He clumsily untied my hands and rested his head on my chest.

"That was perfect." he murmured. I hesitantly ran my fingers through his hair, he didn't complain. In fact, he gazed up at me and said "Hold me, JJ." I cradled him in my arms, his eyes still on me. He brought a hand to my face, making me flinch. "It's okay." He whispered, caressing the swelling around my eye, the holes in my lip. "I really messed you up, I'm so sorry." My heart melted and I nuzzled into his hand.

"It doesn't matter." I mumbled, but the need to talk to Drake about this was growing in me. Not to tell him I had actually gone... all the way...

I had gone all the way with Dee. Dee had just...

"I love you." I blurted, and was instantly embarrassed. Since I had already made an ass of myself, I might as well finish what I wanted to say. "You should leave Ryo, Dee. If he wont do these things you need..." I didn't know where else to take this, "We should be together."

Dee seemed to ponder this for a moment.

"I love Ryo, JJ. I love him." My hopes fell a good ten stories. "I can't leave him, he's my soulmate."

"Then why wont he let you be you?" I asked desperately.

"He's just not this kind of person." Dee answered softly, his mind was elsewhere with Ryo. "He's different." I pressed him closely to me, squeezed my eyes shut as tightly as I could, trying to discourage the tears.

"Where is he tonight?" I asked.

"With Rose at some meeting."

"A meeting, huh?" I replied cruelly, letting my eyes open. I felt the need to hurt him. "I bet they're fucking."

"No," Dee started, then didn't seem so sure. "Ryo wouldn't, no." He shook his head, denial all over his face. He fought his way out of my arms. "I need to get home."

"It's not like they'd be doing it there." I sat up, watching sadly as his sweet body disappeared into his clothes. "Ryo's smarter than that. I bet they got a nice hotel room, Ryo seems like the type who'd only spread 'em on satin."

"You shut your mouth about Ryo." Dee glared at me, and the indignation I felt from all he had just done to me propelled me on my chosen course of action.

"Why should I?" I snapped. "If he's so perfect, what are you doing here with me? You know he's gotta be off banging Rose, when he's got to come home to you." Dee was on top of me again, pushing me down. I hate that he's bigger than me, I couldn't fight him off. He was six feet of angry, well-conditioned detective, I'm 5'7, and full to the brim with fear.

He had me by the wrists again, one in each hand, I tried unsuccessfully to twist out of his grasp. Then he was hitting me again, really going for it. I only had one arm free to shield my face, and it wasn't doing much good.

"Don't you talk about Ryo like that!" Dee was shouting between blows. "You could never be him!" The blur of his fist stopped pummeling me and I peeked at him, the left side of my face had definitely taken more than it wanted to. The heat under my skin told me I would be black and blue by morning. I was surprised at my lack of tears, after all that. "Get your hand-" Dee wrestled with me to pull my arm away from my face, to give him full view of what he had done to me. "Don't ever, ever talk about Ryo like that again." His voice was hoarse. "Or I swear-" he made a fist again and I shrunk away from him as much as I could. "You filthy-" whore, I finished in my mind. "You disgust me." he grabbed me by the jaw and spit square in my face, forcing me to squeeze my eyes shut again. His fist made a quick connection again while I was blind and defenseless, for good measure. Dee's weight left my bed and I wiped my eyes, his saliva smelled of beer and cigarettes. I sat up slowly, watching Dee disappear into my bathroom to clean himself up.

The pit of my stomach dropped as I realized the weight of the ordeal I had just been through. Domestic violence. I had answered my fair share of calls about it at work, and now I knew what it was like on the other side of the phone. It felt way different from how it had always looked to me.

Now I understood the turmoil. I understood the helplessness.

"I should be by again tomorrow." Dee was saying from my full-body mirror, where he was arranging his clothes on himself. "I like my coffee black with two sugars." Three, I mentally corrected, he always added an extra spoon after the first sip. "See you at work." He glanced sidelong at me. "I hope you think up a great story." With that he left, slamming my front door.

I sat in my room, the silence was deafening. I wanted ice for the burning in my face, but I didn't have the will to move. What do I do now? I wondered. There was no way I was going to work tomorrow, was there? His words rang through my mind, filling the silence. It was like breathing for him to call me horrible things, it came to him so easily. Surely I wasn't a whore... well, I was his whore now, I would just have to suck it up. I closed my eyes, pressed a cool hand to my swelling cheek. I wanted to see what I looked like, but at the same time I didn't think I would be able to even face my own reflection. It would make everything too real.

My hands shook, I needed to move even if I didn't want to. I stood unsteadily and managed to make it into the living room. The room was dark, except for the flashing of the muted TV. The light in my kitchen spilled across the foyer, I could make out the glittering of glass sprinkled in the walkway. When I stood in the doorway to my kitchen I could see traces of Dee's rummaging. A few cupboards were left half open, a few drawers as well. The plate he had broken appeared to have been thrown against the wall.

I leaned on the doorpost, lost in the forlorn state of my apartment, and the fact that it mirrored pretty closely the state of my soul right then.

Only one person would be able to comfort me at a time like this, so I called Drake, and I was bawling by time he picked up.

"JJ, are you okay?" He was asking, I couldn't answer, I was trying to hold back my sobs.

"I need you." I garbled. "Please."

"Are you home?" The panic in his voice soothed me.

"Yeah, he just left-"

"Be there in five minutes." Drake hung up and I hit end, covering my swollen face. I was so full of shame that I had called him, I had wanted to, but he would have to see me at the lowest point I had ever hit.

This was something I had never anticipated I would ever have to do. It tore me up to the core that I would have to admit to Drake, of all people, that I had allowed someone to abuse me so badly. I pulled on a pair of sweatpants and rocked myself on my couch, in tears the whole time I waited. I kept thinking to myself It's okay, I'll be okay, Drake is on his way over-

There was a sharp knock at my door.

I don't know how okay it is, writing this stuff. But I need to deal with some issues, clearly.

Read and Review, pleeeease. Not one review yet guys, please give me a piece of your mind!

-Aeopteryx