Sorry this chapter took so long, I was distracted by both the real life and participating in fan fiction challenges (see my profile for details). And it's not very long either, but hopefully you'll enjoy it anyway.
Thanks for all your reviews, I want more! And also regards to Shadowfox026, who keeps this story readable.
5th July 2007, Tokyo
Kagami looked around again, still unable to believe what had happened. Not only was she in the room that had not existed for years, but she also had the body of a teenager. She could tell that the sensation was genuine and not an effect of hallucinations or drugs, since everything looked so normal: the furniture, the carpet, the uniform hanging in the corner, the mirror…
The mirror. It wasn't as tall and impressive as that one, but it was hanging on the wall just like it always had been, since she had moved in when she was eight. It was hanging a bit low since she had been shorter when she started using it, but it was big enough to be still comfortable to a near-adult. Kagami felt a wave of rage and fear that was already building up inside her and stormed towards the mirror, looking her reflection right in the eyes.
"W… what does it mean?" she meant to hiss menacingly, but her voice was too shaky for the effect she hoped for. "What did you do? Take me back this instant!"
The Other Kagami did not appear before her this time, but her voice could be heard clearly, although it seemed eerily distant. "You told me your wish, and I granted it. That is all. There is nothing left to do."
"What? I didn't wish for this! Send me back now!" Kagami didn't actually shout, anxious that she might wake up someone in the house, but her voice was furious.
"You don't want that, do you?" came a cold response. "What you really want is a world where you can be with Tsukasa. It was impossible back then, but not here. She's sleeping in the next room. Go and take her."
Terror overcame Kagami's senses. "No… you can't…! I don't…!"
"That's enough. Stop being a crybaby and be honest with yourself", said the voice in Kagami's head, seemingly unperturbed by her emotions. "This is what you wanted, this is where you are. This is all."
Kagami tore herself from the mirror, unable to withstand this terrible presence. It wasn't just fear of suddenly waking up alone in a different world, or from the contact with an impossible being; the worst thing was that this horrifying goddess was somehow familiar to Kagami. The longer she knew her, the more she felt like this terrible woman had always lingered in the back of her own head. Kagami didn't know exactly who she was, but she surely wasn't someone who leant her ears to pleas.
The now-teenager felt that she should be crying and screaming in terror, but her eyes somehow remained dry and her thoughts seemed dull but otherwise perfectly calm. She had to see this place with her own eyes, to assess her situation better. Yet, she realized, she was still naked; she couldn't go out like this. The only piece of clothing in sight was her school uniform, so she automatically touched its fabric, then remembering that she still needed panties. She found a bunch of them in their usual place in the drawer, took the ones that were on top — they were white, like almost all of them — and put them on, followed by the fuku. Once she was ready, she didn't think of looking in the mirror. Instead she quietly opened the door and peeked outside. Despite the initial shock, something was actually pulling her towards that lost, long-forgotten world and she knew what… or who… was calling her particularly clearly.
The corridor was plunged in almost complete darkness, making it nigh impossible to recognise the doors to her sisters' rooms — with the exception of her favourite sister's, where a thin line of light was visible underneath. Is she still awake? Kagami thought briefly, but immediately remembered that young Tsukasa had been afraid of the dark sometimes and slept with her nightlight on, even after she grew out of such childish fears. Kagami suddenly felt moved about how fragile and adorable her sister was, how much she had always needed protection from her oniichan and how easy it was to love her.
Unable to resist, Kagami silently approached the door. Craving just one look at Tsukasa, she opened it as stealthily as possible and stuck her head inside. Tsukasa's room was exactly the same as she remembered: a desk just like her own was littered with papers and stationery, stuffed animals were sitting here and there, and several articles of clothing were hanging on the chair, probably to be used tomorrow. There also was a bed, very similar to Kagami's, where Tsukasa was sound asleep.
Kagami quietly moved towards the bed, her eyes not leaving her sister's sleeping form even for a second. Tsukasa was covered up to her neck, with just one arm laying on top of her blanket. Her short, unruly hair was covering a part of her face, only showing one round, cute cheek and small lips. Surely she was in high school too, but in her peaceful sleep she didn't look older than fourteen.
Tsukasa was so unbelievably beautiful that Kagami was immediately brought close to tears. She wanted to reach to her sister, stroke her hair and kiss her forehead to bring her happy dreams, but she didn't dare to make a move. An awful thought held her in place: it dawned on her that if it was wrong to love Tsukasa this way before, it would have been even worse to feel it now, when Tsukasa was so young. A series of images flashed through her brain, images of how much pain and unbearable shame she might cause her little sister if she couldn't control herself. Although seeing her sweet Tsukasa sleeping like this was almost too much to bear, she forced herself to tear away from the bed and escape back to her dark room.
Kagami closed the door to her bedroom a bit louder than it was acceptable at this hour, but she was too distressed to care. Breathing heavily, she leaned across the door, squeezing her eyes tightly at what was swirling in her mind. Whenever she thought of what she had done to Tsukasa then — what she still could do to her now — she was overcome by dread and self-loathing. She realised that she was a terrible danger to her beloved sister, and that there was nobody else to protect Tsukasa.
Having realised that, Kagami made a decision. She approached her desk and with one sure move grabbed a pair of scissors from the drawer. They were sharp and pointed, suitable for cutting hard paper and even cloth. Kagami approached the mirror again, hoping that her doppleganger would appear, but all she could see was her own reflection.
"I know you are in there. Show yourself."
No answer came. She could only see her own face, scissors shining in her hand menacingly.
"I figured out your secret. In some way you are me, right?"
There was still no response, but Kagami felt a spark of interest from somewhere outside her mind.
"You are me and that means you need me. Being me back, or I'll kill myself." Kagami brought the tip of the scissors to her throat, biting her lip nervously.
"No, you won't do that" the voice finally said.
"Yes I will!" Kagami's hands were trembling, but she painfully pushed the tip deeper into her skin, almost piercing it. It hurt.
"Don't be silly" answered the voice with no trace of distress. "If you really do it, what do you think is going to happen? You will be found in the morning by your parents and sisters, including Tsukasa. They will find you, cold and pale, laying in a pool of blood. Dead. How do you think they will feel then? Is this what you want?"
Defeated, Kagami dropped the scissors and turned around, tears of frustration and anger finally fighting their way out of her eyes. She felt so powerless, and she knew it was her own fault. If she weren't such a pervert, Tsukasa wouldn't be put in danger and Kagami herself would live peacefully many years from now, unperturbed by the mirror demon.
"Then what should I do?" she asked dully, trying to hide her distress.
"You were brought here because you felt alone and left out. If you manage to satisfy these enormous needs, your destiny in this place will be fulfilled" answered the voice. Then its presence suddenly began to fade, vanishing into nothingness in just a few seconds.
Kagami was now truly alone in the darkness, still standing with her back to the mirror. Tears were flowing down her cheeks, but she didn't care; the only thing she could think of was that she somehow became lost in time because of how abnormal her feelings were. She knew she was dangerous and despicable, but she could do nothing about it, not even kill herself. She was completely powerless.
No! something exclaimed inside her; not a demon, but another part of her, the one that always kept her going. Kagami realised that she had to pull herself together in order to go through this, and that there must be a way out of here if she took her time to think about it. Otherwise it would be too… too… unfair.
It is unfair… But there is no way out! she thought, barely keeping her despair at bay. There must be something I can do. Or someone I can ask for help. My God… I'm so lonely.
Minutes passed, and Kagami was sitting in the dark. No matter how long she pondered this, she kept returning to the same conclusion, her only hope. She tried to avoid this, to save herself a shred of decency, but she realised she wouldn't be able to win this battle, either. And she needed to tell someone about it… Badly.
Oh what the hell, she thought with a mental shrug, I can't stand it any longer. I'll call her. Yes, I'll call her… I told her once, so I can do it again.
Her cell phone was charging up next to the alarm clock. She picked it up and choose the right number without hesitation. I hope she's not too upset about me calling at this hour, she thought absurdly, but the person on the other side picked up immediately.
"Hello Kagamin, what's up?" she heard a familiar voice.
"Hi, Konata… Umm, I didn't wake you up, did I?"
"Nah, I'm still online. Wow, it's getting really late, are you playing too?"
"Er… no. Konata, we need to talk."
"Talk? That sounds serious. All right, I'm all ears."
"Good. You see, I…" Kagami hesitated; she had no idea how to say it, but she knew it was too late to back off. "Look, I know it's gonna sound really weird. I'm calling you, because you're the only person in the whole world that can believe me."
There was silence on the other end of the line. Finally Konata uttered, "Kagamin… I would never, ever have thought you have such great confidence in me. I'm totally speechless…"
At first Kagami wasn't sure whether Konata was serious or just messing with her as usual, but then she decided that Konata might indeed have been touched; she probably had never been told anything like this. "Right…" she paused here, unsure of how to proceed. "Well, it involves a, what do you call it, time travel plot" she added flatly.
"Uh, what do you mean…?" There was a hint of confusion in Konata's voice, but no actual dismissal.
"Well, let me start with something else… I… slept with Tsukasa."
"Right. What does it… Wait… You mean…?"
"Yeah. I had…" Kagami took a quick look around to confirm that the door was indeed closed, "I had sex with Tsukasa. Recently."
The silence on the other side was considerably longer than usual. "Is this… your new sense of humour, Kagamin?"
"I wish it was." She found herself almost smiling ironically.
"With… your… cute, slightly-younger twin sister?"
"You don't have to put it this way!"
"Wow… I'd never have thought you'd do something like… this." Konata's voice was full of shock mixed with something like awe. Her older version had called it "an almost religious experience" and this one obviously wasn't much different.
"Yeah, me neither." Kagami sighed. "Still we've done it, and it was in the future, we were almost thirty. Then I felt bad about it… but it was so good…" Suddenly describing her feelings to Konata seemed rather easy, if embarassing. "And then my reflection in the mirror spoke to me and sent me here, back to my past, so that I could be with Tsukasa. And it looks like I'm a damn teenager again!"
Konata didn't utter a word, so Kagami continued, "I didn't want that. I want to go back… I don't belong here, even though it's my fault." She hesitated. "I'm not making much sense, am I?"
Konata's voice was dead serious as she replied, "You know, Kagamin, if it was someone else, I might thought there's something wrong with them. But you… There's no way you'd make it up."
"Uh thanks, I guess…"
"And that means… that means something awesome has happened!" Konata's voice suddenly rose to dramatic heights, like she'd just made a decision to celebrate. "It's just like in anime! There's time travel, and forbidden love, and magic… That's, like, unbelievable!"
"Yeah, last time you said something similar. I mean, in the future."
"We've talked in the future? What do we do there?"
"Uh, I don't know if I should talk about that…"
"Oh yeah, right. Time paradoxes and so on, I understand. Anyway… You did it with Tsukasa, mmm? And then your guardian angel or something sent you here for more?"
"Don't be so blunt! But yes, it appears to… be the case."
"Wow, you talk like Yuki-chan now. So… what are you gonna do about it?"
My god, this girl is a straightforward one, thought Kagami. "Well… I don't know. That's why I'm calling you of all people!"
"I see." Konata sounded pensive now; not for the first time Kagami wondered if her best friend's mind operated in a fashion even vaguely similar to normal peoples'. "But what do you want to do? You're going to do it with Tsukasa again?"
"No, I can't! I mean… That would be bad! I wouldn't do something like this to her…"
"I see, it's complicated. I guess we can think of it as some sort of dramatic plot, with lots of impossible choices."
Kagami decided to play along, hoping it would bring some fruit. "Okay then, what would happen in this kind of plot if it was some anime?"
"Hmm…" Konata paused for a few seconds. "Well, there's this girl who has this thing for her sister, right? And she is sent back in time as punishment, or at least she thinks so. So she doesn't know what to do, and does various things to get back home, some of them stupid or dangerous. But finally she realises she is only looking for love! And love she finds."
"Hmm. So you mean that I need… love?" This sounded painfully plausible, but at the same time unbelievably cheesy.
"Yeah. The simplest answer, but the least obvious one is usually the right one."
Kagami took a few seconds to digest the last sentence, one of those peculiar expressions Konata had always been so fond of. "Well… I think I get it, but it's rather blurry, isn't it? Am I supposed to hold hands with somebody, or, I don't know, kiss them? Make them say they love me, but without telling them why I want them to? Isn't it… a bit fairy-tale-ish?"
"You're right Kagamin, it shouldn't be that ambiguous in a modern story. I think love should be consumed…"
"Consumed? You want me to get laid?"
"Wow. That's not a choice of words I'd expect from you, Kagamin… I guess you really did mature."
"Are… Are you sure? About that solution, I mean."
"Well, it sort of makes sense. Sex is considered a rite of passage anyway, nobody can stay the same person afterwards."
Yes, it actually makes sense, if anything does, thought Kagami. "Well, maybe, in some weird way. It certainly won't hurt to try… I mean, it might be the only way out…" Did I just say that?
"Er, would you have someone specific in mind?"
"What? No! I mean, how would I? I've just arrived here…"
"All right then, we'll talk about it tomorrow. I'm really excited, but such talks must take place at school! So good night."
"School? What school?"
oooOOOooo
Despite her young body, Kagami felt pretty worn out. She hadn't had much sleep last night, immersed in those black yet exciting thoughts. It wasn't just about what Konata said, it was about this whole crazy reality she had suddenly woken up to. At least the enormous stress helped with keeping Tsukasa off her mind. Mostly.
Kagami managed to stumble through her morning easier than she thought possible; she went to the bathroom, rearranged her sailor uniform (she hadn't bothered to take it off), and even had quick breakfast with Tsukasa and her parents. Seeing Miki and Tadao in their relatively young age was rather shocking, but she played her part well and finally got onto the morning train with her sister with no incidents.
Thick morning fog was swirling behind the window, adding to the surreal ambience lingering in their compartment. Kagami glanced at Tsukasa, who was sitting right beside her, still half-asleep. Despite the mixed odours of the train, Kagami could smell Tsukasa's shampoo, but she was too tired get excited. It felt very nice though.
For the millionth time, she asked herself how exactly it all had happened. Am I special? Or do such things happen regularly, they just aren't reported, because nobody would believe such stories? No, that doesn't seem right, there would be some rumours at the very least. On the other hand, it would be a good explanation for why there are so many nutcases around the world.
In that very moment, Kagami suddenly felt that she didn't want to become one of them. I can do it. I'll find a way out. I'll have a successful day and overcome any obstacle, like I always have. If necessary, I'll find a… mate… And I'll make sure Tsukasa would be proud of me. Kagami smiled faintly to herself. So now I think of Tsukasa like she was some kind of goddess. Oh well, why the hell not.
The train was rocking her rather pleasantly, and she could feel Tsukasa's warm body right next to hers. Kagami decided that she may have worried too much, and that it would all work out somehow. She needed to catch some breath after all that craziness. It won't hurt to rest for a moment… I have an entire day of school ahead of me after all…
Kagami's slumber was interrupted by gentle prodding. "Sis, we need to hurry! It's already our stop!"
"Gah!" Startled, Kagami started looking around franticly, trying to remember where she was and at the same time gather her belongings as quickly as she could. Tsukasa observed her with a somewhat uncertain expression; what she was seeing clearly wasn't an everyday occurrence.