Author's note: once again more time passed between publishing chapters than I'd planned. I hope you're still with me. In this chapter Joanna Lannister faces a challenge: supper with Littlefinger.
JOANNA
Most people showed uneasiness on entering her apartment for they'd had to pass by Ser Gregor. Lord Baelish walked in with an undisturbed smile, taking in everything in the room from the flowers and the stack of books and papers on her desk to the cut of her dress. After greeting her with a bow and a kiss on her hand he remarked: "Lord Lannister must have been concerned for your wellbeing milady that he sent you such a mountainous shield. No one would dare harm you."
"Rude japes can't be held off by a sword Lord Baelish."
"Unless the sword cuts a tongue or pierces a heart."
Joanna let her eyes widen and her lips part in shock.
"I apologize. I should have known that you dislike violence."
Servants placed drinks and various cold dishes on a small dinner table near a window.
"I do indeed but what makes you think so? The fact that I'm a woman?"
"I know some women, none of them ladies let me assure you, who don't mind a bit of… cruelty."
"They live in the wrong age then."
Joanna walked to the window seat and gestured her guest to follow her, but he walked to the vases on her desk, studying petals and leaves. Well, removing those is one way to convey messages, Joanna acknowledged. Touching a petal Baelish replied: "Such beautiful flowers! It is true that some people thrived on the chaos the Mad King caused during the last years of his reign."
Joanna appreciated the fact that Baelish managed to talk while scanning a letter that happened to have its lower half stuck out from between the pages of 'Fall and Rise: the Trident'. Her audible invitation to join her went ignored: Baelish stated how much better of Westeros was these days while he was no doubt learning that the letter's writer still had hope that its receiver would regain her memory and that he had promised their granddaughter to teach her cyvasse. Joanna didn't doubt that Tywin had started to teach Myra the board game, but his true message was that Volantis had been reached. A more recent letter, resting in a pocket of her skirt, contained a very un-Tywin like red stain. With the time needed to pass a message to Casterly Rock and then to King's Landing she wondered how far their traveller had gotten by now. She walked to the desk herself, and while Baelish tried to inhale the scent of some flowers that merely pleased the eyes he said: "What makes me think you dislike such things is what happened in King's Landing on the day King Aerys died. Have you been told about that?"
"My lord husband told me he took the city for Robert Baratheon, yet he didn't say how."
Baelish nodded, finally taking his seat. "It could have been done by Lann the Clever. Some say there was no honour about it – I know that Lord Stark disapproved of the idea of getting the officers of the city watch knocked out by a sip of wine – but I'm not among those people. I thought it was delightfully charming and I must say that's why I think it wasn't your husband who came up with it but you."
"Oh?" Joanna said, hearing her own disbelief. Tywin had told her that it had been her idea, but Joanna's present self ought to be a different lady. Sedatives serve their purpose time and again.
"A toast to the king! Ha! The king could be anyone! Delightful."
"You speak as if you were present Lord Baelish: it's almost as if I were there!"
"Judging from those flowers the people still appreciate the peaceful way their city was 'taken'. I'd say you got those from the commoners?" he asked, gesturing at some small vases.
"Cornflowers and daisies. Yes. Those zinnias over there were a present from Prince Oberyn. They are beautiful too, aren't they?"
Baelish nodded.
"What can you tell me about my son's actions on the day King's Landing was taken?"
"Handsome gallant Ser Jaime! Songs were made about how the Golden Knight slew two knights of the Kingsguard who threatened to attack his lord father in the Throne Room."
"I've seen him practice here with his squires and various knights: it was an enchanting sight. Now tell me Lord Baelish, you who knows so much, what is your opinion of Lord Renly? What sort of a man is he?"
"Surely you've interacted with him?"
"True but there are things a lord will not tell a lady." Baelish made an appreciative sound regarding the union-cheese titbit he was eating. Joanna looked pleased by it and continued: "Such as what he truly seeks in a wife."
"I think our Lord Renly seeks a quiet wife who won't mind residing at Storm's End while he is in King's Landing."
"That's not very demanding. I'll inform the queen about that."
"I heard she wants to help you to seek a wife for the master of laws?"
"She felt that she'd be better suited for it,' Joanna shyly replied, knowing that the entire Red Keep knew that Cersei had forbidden her to find Renly a bride and that Baelish had been among the first to spread word. "What of you Lord Baelish?"
Baelish pretended to be ignorant of what she could mean.
"Do you not long to have a wife and children?"
"I am but a minor lordling milady."
"Hardly! The youngest master of coin in history? Your lands may be small, but your power is not."
A flash of satisfaction showed on Baelish's face. Joanna sat forward a bit, keen to act as a matchmaker. "What do you seek in a wife? And please be frank: pretend I'm your friend Lord Renly."
"I have a vivid imagination Lady Lannister but it can't mistake you for him."
Joanna laughed and sat back in her chair. At this sign of relaxation Baelish smiled what might come across as a genuine smile. Such a dangerous game. But not unpleasant.
"Age?"
Baelish seemed lost for an answer.
"Between 16 and 28?"
"Oh yes. I think so."
"Smarter than my shield's wife?"
"A brain would be nice, yes."
Joanna nodded approvingly. "A bright noble born maiden then."
"May I confess something Lady Lannister?"
"If it pleases you Lord Baelish."
"I myself am no virgin."
"An unmarried man like yourself: I'm positively shocked!"
Baelish laughed and Joanna look at him the way she'd look at Gerion: with fondness. It gave the master of coin wrinkles around his eyes.
That will be a first. But the war isn't won, Joanna reminded herself. "May I conclude that you won't object to any bright noble born lady?"
"You might have more luck searching for a merchant's daughter," her guest said.
"There is no need to belittle yourself. Your estate may be small but you have so much to give as master of coin: all these offices to handle… And you are charming and witty: many a mai- young lady would be pleased to be your wife. And I intend to prove that!"
"I dare say I'm confident that you will, if not for the limited time you have left here?"
"I'll make inquiries here and on my way back to Casterly Rock. Once back home I'll use ravens if need be."
Smiling, Baelish inclined his head. "Your gracious interference will make lords consider handing their daughters or sisters to me."
"One at the time Lord Baelish."
Baelish chuckled. "Many a man wouldn't mind having several wives."
"Many a man likes to brag," Joanna replied.
When Baelish was done laughing he mentioned that Ser Gerion didn't seem to be such a man: was it true that he didn't care much to be married?
Joanna put down her dandelion tea and sighed. "I should like to see him happy in marriage but perhaps he's happiest when on an adventure."
"He looks forward to go north, even though his usual companion won't join him. Ser Sandor is younger than he is and perhaps less settled in his ways… Is he single?"
"He is unmarried," Joanna delicately replied.
"And the Warden of the West dislikes it that his woman is with child," Baelish stated, revealing that his previous question was redundant. Joanna curtly nodded, hoping Gerion to be Baelish's willing source but not disregarding the option that her guest had made an effort to gain his information.
"He may have left the Westerlands to evade the Lion's wrath, but after his return you might find him a suitable bride?"
Joanna nodded and confided that she had a few ladies in mind who might make a good match with Ser Sandor. If he makes it home he may choose his own wife and I will gladly style her lady.
Holding a snack that he'd favoured before Baelish said: "It is unfortunate that Lady Clegane doesn't have an unmarried sister for wouldn't it be delightful if two brothers married two sisters?"
"Sisters might appreciate not having to live far away from each other. I was glad that I didn't have to leave my family after my marriage."
Baelish nodded as he swallowed his food. "I'm sure Ser Gregor's wife will feel at home in the Westerlands. I don't know how the king will feel about your shield moving home with you though."
"Oh?"
"The king's new exercise regime makes him look at the Mountain with the interest of a man in need of a strong sparring partner. The Queen suggested to him that Ser Gregor would make a worthy adversary."
Slightly Slimmer won't stand a chance against the Mountain. "Ladies like to think their lord husbands to be victorious always and Her Grace doesn't make an exception. I'd say that Ser Barristan doesn't give His Majesty reason to look elsewhere."
"Indeed, indeed. Did you know that the king feels that you might try to secure a southern bride for the wrong Lannister?"
Joanna's features showed puzzlement for a moment. "Ah! My nephew did seem distracted when I saw him in the Throne Room this morning."
Baelish laughed. "I'm sure that with all this practice in finding suitable wives for various lords, you'll have no trouble finding your grandchildren spouses."
There we are.
"The king informed me that you and Lord Lannister think of a wife from the Riverlands or Stormlands for your eldest grandson?"
Yet another 'secret' Robert couldn't keep to himself. "His Majesty is a talkative man," Joanna said with a wry smile, gesturing her guest that he could have the last of a particular dish. "It is true, though no arrangements have been made."
"For Tybalt is young."
"He is mature for his age, but yes, he is young."
"He is two months older than the crown-prince isn't he?" At her nod he continued: "Something tells me he wouldn't have pulled you a prank Lady Lannister."
"Not here and especially not at the Rock," Joanna replied, lacing her words with anger even though it had been mere annoyance she'd felt at Joff's itchy revenge.
"I feel obliged to tell you that when the crown-prince learned that the king had planned to get him a bride, rather than securing a husband for his sister, he was a bit disappointed. The boy shares his appreciation for the ladies with the king."
And his talent for resentment with his mother as I'm sure you'll use to your advantage. "A great many boys his age do."
"Robb Stark will be no exception yet with the princess not having flowered yet I'm sure he'll behave like a knight."
"You do injustice to your sex if you'd think otherwise Lord Baelish."
The man inclined his head as if she'd paid him a compliment. Joanna wasn't surprised when he didn't let go of the topic, though it came disguised as an inquiry after the speed of Myrcella's journey north. He casually whirled his wine in his glass.
"The longer she lives there before giving birth to Lord Stark's grandson, the more the people of the north will grow to appreciate her. I fear it wasn't easy for my daughter to fit in here. And I think that Lady Stark's first years in Winterfell were also… difficult. You've known her, didn't you?"
"I knew her when she was Lady Catelyn Tully. I flatter myself in thinking that she and I were close."
Joanna nodded. "I imagine you were a good friend to her."
"I hope I was. I think the young princess and Lady Shireen are as inseparable as Lady Catelyn and I once were."
"It's wonderful that they took an almost instant liking to each other. Having a friend is a blessing. I hope they won't have to part soon."
"Lord Stannis is a headstrong man…"
Joanna rolled her eyes at the ceiling in reply. It made Baelish grin.
"Should he keep his daughter here despite various pleas to the contrary, she'll befriend Prince Tommen or Lord Robert, don't you think?"
"I'm sure she will," Joanna said neutrally. With genuine enthusiasm she added: "She's a lovely girl."
"Riverlands or Stormlands huh? I wonder which maiden from the Riverlands you have in mind."
Aren't you smart. Joanna made incomprehension cover her features. "None yet, unless my lord husband has plans he hasn't shared with me."
"I can hardly believe that."
Joanna stared ahead, feeling Baelish's intent gaze on her. To make her eyes moist she thought about her lost baby. She produced a feeble smile and blinked a few times to remove her welcome tears. "Do you have any nice gossip to share Lord Baelish?"
Her guest started to entertain her while she for the first time since they'd sat down favoured her wine rather than her tea or water. After chatting about a lady stealing another lady's cook and a lord's squire who wasn't likely to ever become a knight, he said that gossip stated that Lord Tyrell was trying to find marriage partners for Ser Loras and Lady Margaery.
"I've heard that rumour. What can you tell me?" Joanna said, with a keenness she'd not shown when he'd shared his other gossip.
"Ser Loras is the third son and therefore not obliged to produce an heir. Frankly I get the feeling he might prefer to remain single. His sister is a Rose indeed, don't you agree?"
Joanna nodded and praised the girl's complexion, kind manners and intelligence and then, as if struck by a welcome thought, said: "Are you interested in the lady?"
"I doubt that I am what Lord Tyrell has in mind for his daughter."
Joanna smiled. "He's not very subtle about it, is he? But you haven't answered my question Lord Baelish."
"I admit that I find the lady pleasant company. Would you object to her marrying the crown-prince?"
Joanna had spoken to Lady Margaery and she felt the girl would do well in the Red Keep and would make a fine bride for a spoilt immature boy. "My meaning on this doesn't carry weight, but she is charming and makes young men want to put their best foot forward: that speaks in her favour."
Joanna looked as if she were to say more, than ate a piece of pear with walnut crumbs and honey. She glanced at her guest, who smiled encouragingly. Joanna swallowed hard and said: "I heard you've taken the crown-prince on outings?"
Baelish seemed unsurprised by the change of topic. "Indeed. I pointed out places he might find of interest."
While feeding him lies and rumours. "He doesn't think of himself as a child, but he is only twelve. I've heard a gossip regarding where you took him…."
Joanna stopped mid-sentence, her expression beseeching her guest to understand her. He smiled at her.
"Fear not Lady Lannister. The prince is indeed a bit young for the pleasures enjoyed by men." Joanna sighed with relief. "Once he is Tion Frey's age… who knows? Am I correct in thinking that prince Oberyn was even younger than your royal grandson when he became a man?"
Joanna reasoned that Oberyn Martell was simple another topic Baelish wanted to gain information about, but she frowned a bit as if she sensed an insult. "I wouldn't know."
"Of course not! The prince may enjoy his conversations with you, but I doubt he will be as bold as to discuss… private things. Still, the entire Red Keep knows that we own the pleasure of the prince's company to your presence."
Joanna smiled shyly. "He told me that Ser Jaime informed him about my condition. It might very well have been an additional reason for him to come to King's Landing." Let him brood on that.
"What is his main reason then?"
Joanna said that she believed it was to secure trade for Dorne and to her private pleasure Baelish didn't look convinced by her reply.
"There are many Dornish ships here. Has your friend told you about that delightful rumour regarding dragons?"
"That rumour about dragons being hatched?" On Baelish's nod, Joanna added, in a tone that said she agreed: "He commented that sailors like to drink."
Baelish laughed and ate yet another titbit. "These are good! Lord Stannis said, well, I had to drag it from him as I'm sure you can imagine, that he'd had a good stew while being your guest."
"I hope you didn't look forward to that yourself."
Baelish reassuringly shook his head. "These cold dishes are quite tasteful," he said before shoving another one in his mouth.
Joanna sat forward and softly said: "I would have arranged for a warm meal if it wasn't for the fact that I feared it would grow cold."
Baelish laughed, then nearly choked.
Joanna got to her feet to hit him on his back, and concluded that her guest too was slimmer than he seemed to be. Baelish made desperate noises. What an opportunity.