The ten-minute drive to the address that Lydia had given him wasn't the hard part; the roads had been paved in recent years so the jeep ran smoothly over the hills until he pulled into the driveway. Walking up to the house and ringing the doorbell, was a different story.
Regardless of the shaking in his hands though, he took a long, deep breath and pressed on the doorbell before shoving his hands in his coat pockets to keep from pulling his jeep keys out of his pants pocket or from repeatedly ringing the doorbell.
Luckily for him, the door was opened shortly to reveal Chris Argent in his pajamas with a steaming mug in his palms.
"Hey, Stiles," He muttered as he rubbed his eyes, "do you want to come in?"
"I came to talk to Allison, is she here?"
"No, she's in Madera, getting her things out of storage," Stiles nodded with disappointment and started to ponder if Scott would even be awake at this point when Chris piped up again, "I've got a whole pot and she's on her way back if you want some."
"Yeah, that sounds good." He nodded and followed the man inside the house, hanging his coat on the rack next to the door before following the man into the brown and cream-colored dining room, taking the mug that was offered to him.
"Thanks," Stiles spoke before drinking some of the hot coffee and waiting until Chris nodded before he asked the question that had been on his mind since Lydia gave him an address that had not been the one of Scott's childhood home, "What happened with you and Melissa?" And when the man raised a questioning eyebrow, Stiles added, "last time I was here, you two had moved in together."
Chris silently sipped at his coffee for a moment before answering. "You remember what Scott and I were doing until we stopped Monroe, right?"
"Saving all those supernatural kids from the hunters. I was there with Alec, remember?"
"Admittedly, I had driven away before you showed up," Chris said before looking back down into the coffee mug, "but I wanted to expand past California. The rest of the U.S, Canada, Mexico, and even South America. After everything I had done against werewolves, banshees, kitsunes…," he trailed off to take another drink and Stiles couldn't stop from doing the same, "I knew I needed to do this, even when Scott quit once Monroe was detained."
"But what does it have to do with Melissa?" Stiles wondered aloud as he finished his coffee and Chris got up to replace the mug with some sort of warm blueberry pastry that seemed like something Allison had made. But he knew Chris was stalling from explaining.
It wasn't until he returned with some sort of donut and a second mug of coffee for both of them that he finally spoke and the three words that he said made perfect sense for Stiles.
"She couldn't leave," it wasn't until he had nearly finished the buttery, sweet pastry that he got the details, however.
"he knew that she was on the edge of a pretty large promotion and with it, she'd be able to go back to school to become an MD since Scott was moved out. I tried to get her to come with me, but she couldn't. We tried long distance for a bit as well, but with everything that happened with Scott's father, she told me she had to break it off."
Stiles nodded silently; with the amount of long-distance that had happened between Melissa and the FBI agent, he understood how it was too much for her to handle yet again.
"After we stopped Monroe and broke it off, I was everywhere," Chris continued, "Saving as many supernatural kids as I could. I went back to France for a bit to visit Isaac. He's got a wife and a kid now, she's around...six or seven," Stiles could barely picture Isaac as a parent, let alone with a daughter the same age as his own, but he nodded in understanding when Chris added, "But while I was there, he gave me the Triskelion box and asked me to take it somewhere else."
"Was it not safe in France anymore?" Stiles questioned, the heat from the mug starting to burn his hands, but he couldn't let go of it either.
"He said someone tried to break in and steal the box, I'm pretty sure it was that teacher that let it out in the first place. He was worried for his family, so when I went to Japan after reports of a kitsune came out," Chris explained. Stiles had to keep questioning if it was a good idea to bring a Japanese demon back to Japan to himself," Liam had moved there at this point so I asked him to keep the box safe. The kitsune I found, I brought back here and he became a deputy. He didn't even know what he was."
"The guy who got his tails stolen." Stiles pieced together with the explanation Malia had given him a few days before; but before Chris could respond with anything besides a nod before the door opened again and Stiles' stomach dropped with anxiety.
"Hey, dad?" Allison's familiar voice filled the air, "Can you help me unload the truck-hey, Stiles." She stopped short as he stood up which alerted her attention and he couldn't stop himself from letting himself walk into her outstretched arms and being pulled into a tight, warm hug.
'Warm is good. Warmness is alive.'
"What are you doing here? How long have you been back?" She rattled off her questions while letting go and sitting next to him at the table.
"They told you I left?"
"Scott gave me some details to catch me up." She explained as Chris walked out of the room towards the door, only stopping to press a quick kiss to Allison's head, "I'm really glad to see you."
"Yeah, I just…" Stiles felt the sweat build on the back of his neck with nerves as the question he asked himself on the way over popped back into his mind. 'How do you apologize to someone whose death was caused by you?'
"What?" She asked with a soft smile and Stiles couldn't stop from feeling like he was back in high school and helping her communicate with Scott by physically running in between them with pieces of information.
"I can't believe it's really you," he said in order to stall and get a soft laugh from her as she pushed her long hair out of her face before he finally took the deep breath he needed and looked into her eyes to be sure she was paying attention, "I need to apologize to you, Allison."
Her smile faded immediately when he said that, but it was replaced by this look of confusion and sadness on her face as she shook her head at him, "You weren't the one who hurt me and none of you are to blame for what happened in Oak Creek. I just hope that you haven't been carrying this guilt around with you for years," She stood up to get herself a mug of coffee and since Stiles couldn't deny the truth, he stayed silent even as she turned around and muttered under her breath while sitting down, "oh, Stiles…"
"I had so many things I wanted to tell you, to apologize for...and I didn't think it would be in person," He admitted, feeling tears build in his eyes as he stared down at the second empty mug in front of him while his hands twisted together under the edge of the table.
"My dad told me once that in order to feel better about a fatal mistake, you have to save one to bring balance to the scale and save a life instead. I've saved so many people but I never felt better about what happened that night, not even for a second. All I could think about was how I ruined your life, your dad's life…even Scott's life."
"Hey, look at me," she insisted, forcing Stiles to bring his eyes back to her as she softly pulled apart his hands before squeezing, "It was not your fault. You are not to blame for the Oni and the only one upset with you in this room is yourself. The Nogitsune could have taken over any of us."
"How are you able to forgive me?" Stiles couldn't stop the tears even when Allison reached forward and brushed them away with her hand, they just kept pouring down, "How are you able to look me in the eyes, knowing what I did, and forgive me?"
"Because it wasn't you, it was the Oni, and they were controlled by the nogitsune, who was also controlling you. It was not your fault. I'm not saying that just to make you feel better, I'm saying that because it's the truth. Okay? You don't need to apologize to me, but you do need to forgive yourself."
Stiles didn't know what she said to put everything into enough perspective to stop the tears in their tracks. 'You do need to forgive yourself. Every time something like this has happened, you're the one who puts the blame on yourself. Not Allison, not Scott, not even your dad. You. It's always been you.'
"I'll work on it."
"But will you? Finally, forgive yourself and let yourself free?"
"I'll do my best," he nodded and when he was pulled into another warm hug, he added, "It's going to be a bit easier now that you're here."
"What is?"
"Forgiving myself, fixing things with Scott-"
She immediately pulled away when he said that and raised an eyebrow in confusion, "how bad are things with Scott?"
"The first time we've talked in twelve years was when he told me about Derek," he had to move past her genuinely shocked expression quickly because with the way his heart pounded in his chest, he couldn't help but feel like he was running out of time, "which is another thing. I'm trying to save Derek, that's part of why I'm making these amends."
"How is that possible?"
"You know how Lydia, Malia, and Scott brought you back because your life was incomplete?" When she nodded in understanding, he continued his explanation, "Derek's life is just beginning and after talking to Deaton, I think I can bring him back. But in order to do it, I have to reconcile with what happened 15 years ago and what happened when I left."
"Well, if you need a slightly out-of-practice huntress-"
"You'll know as soon as I talk to Scott," he affirmed as he started to walk into the hall and grabbed his coat off of the rack, "I swear."
"Wait, before you go," she followed after him before placing something sharp in his palm, "it's a silver dagger. If you're going against the Nogitsune again, you need to give him a very painful reason to never mess with you or Beacon Hills ever again."
"I've missed you a lot, Allison," he agreed and pulled her into another hug, "and I'm not sure how to use this, but I'll figure it out. My wife says I'm pretty good at that."
"You give that fox demon hell, for both of us." Allison nodded with a smile as she squeezed his shoulder, which made him smile back as he repeated.
"Both of us."