A/N : Little update on this fic !! completely random I know
Anna woke up that morning feeling sick once again. She had been feeling bad in the morning for a week. Her ever worrying husband had begged her to go see Doctor Clarkson, but Anna being Anna she waved it off. She hated being sick, and thankfully she was rarely ill. It's then she realized, the last time she had thrown up this much she had been pregnant. In that moment, she should have felt happiness at that realization, but instead she was struck with fear. Like she had been when she had been
late after her attack, like she had been when she fell pregnant after her first miscarriage. Anna tried to prevent herself from sobbing, she was terrified at the prospect of losing another baby. She couldn't let John down once again. Suddenly, she felt the need to go back to the toilet to empty the contents of her stomach once more.
After flushing the toilet, she splashed some water on her face, trying to regain some color. She couldn't let herself think like that. Lady Mary and the Doctor Ryderr had shown her a solution. She needed to cling onto it. She wanted to cling onto it. No couple deserved happiness more than her husband and her, she thought.
After that, she returned to their bedroom where her husband was getting ready for the day.
"I was starting to think you left without me" John teased, but Anna knew there was still a lingering fear that she could disappear again.
"You do know you're stuck with me, Mr Bates" she replied in jest. "I was in the bathroom."
"You're sick again ? Anna, you should really see Doctor Clarkson", he scolded her gently.
"I know, I'll go see him today" she promised and she smiled.
She wouldn't tell him yet. She couldn't get his hopes up. She knew he would be disappointed, being kept in the dark again, but she really wanted to tell him when she was sure he could celebrate without worrying.
Talking about it to Lady Mary made her feel good. She wouldn't dare to be too happy about it, but it felt nice to have a sliver of hope. This has been her long-life dream, being a mother and since she had known John, being the mother of his child. She wanted to believe it. So, she asked her mistress if she was allowed some time to go to the doctor today. Lady Mary obviously answered positively.
Anna went downstairs to inform Mrs Hughes of her plans. The older woman suspected the reason she was to go to the doctor but said nothing. Mr Bates had confided in her about the miscarriages, crying on her shoulder in her office. She didn't know why Anna did not but she knew how her girl was, always diminishing her troubles. And heavens know, she had too many of them. Mrs Hughes agreed to Anna's plans. She hoped the outcome would be positive. God knows, the Bateses deserved a baby, she thought.
Anna was really nervous as she waited outside the doctor's office. She fidgeted with her wedding band as she always did when she was nervous. She didn't know exactly why she did that, perhaps because among all the uncertainties in her life, her love for John was the only thing she was sure of. When her name was called, she felt her breath catch in her throat.
"Congratulations, Mrs Bates ! You're pregnant" the doctor's words sounded faded in the background as Anna could only hear her racing heartbeat. She had dreamed about this day for so long that she couldn't help the tears falling down her cheeks nor the sob escaping her lips. The doctor was soon to comfort her. Anna chuckled through her tears, showing the physician that they were from utter joy. It's weird to think that a few years ago she had prayed every day not to be pregnant. She had prayed for any child that could be born of that fateful night to go away. Now, she was ready to do anything to prevent this child from any harm. So that's why the first person she told wasn't John, Mary or Gwen. The first person she told was Dr Ryder. The man who could help her dream comes true.