The silence that surrounded me felt eternal, tension thick enough to be cut with a knife as I sat in absolute disbelief of what it was that I was seeing. It didn't feel real… it didn't feel possible. The person I had slowly come to accept that I would never see again now stood merely meters away from me, face contorted in discomfort as his eyes tried to avoid mine.

He wore a forest green polo with tan cargo shorts that I had seen him in many times before and his hair, which had grown by a few centimeters, hung well below his eyebrows. Had he gotten taller, too? He looked taller suddenly! He began to fidget where he stood in an effort to force himself to move forward, hoping I would say something in order to avoid him needing to address the elephant in the room. I couldn't seem to speak, though. My mouth hung open in shock, but words didn't come out. Instead I fumbled myself out from where I sat at the table, nearly losing my balance in the process, and I ran.

My heart beating out of my chest, I took no more time to think over the situation. It didn't matter what I would say, it didn't matter why he was here… All that mattered was that he was. Now without giving the slightest fuck who was or wasn't watching me or what they might think, I threw my arms around Wyatt's body, wrapping myself around his neck and torso, only using enough caution as not to bump his hurt arm.

As he pulled me into him, the heat of his tears dampened the fabric of my hoodie, head resting comfortably in my shoulder as I held him tight.

"I never thought I would see you again..." I mumbled. It was the only thing I could think to say. Pulling back slightly, I held his head in my hands, using my thumb to brush a tear off of his cheek and allowing my lip to quiver as I smiled. "I thought- I mean, I didn't know if you were-"

I stopped talking as his eyes met mine, no longer a part of this universe but instead pulled into a bubble of which consisted only of him and me. No one who watched us mattered and for what may have been the first time in my life, I held not a single shred of fear. Instead of holding back, I allowed my vulnerability to show, closing my eyes and leaning into him until I felt his lips on mine.

It had been so long since I had kissed him and although it didn't last long, I embraced those few seconds he allowed it, taking his time before separating himself from me.

"Wait." He touched a hand to my chest as I made an attempt to touch my lips to him again, my stomach sinking at his rejection. "This isn't right… this isn't why I'm here."

I froze, letting the reality of what was sink in. The break up, the battle, the hospitalization… under the relief I felt at his presence, it was all still very real.

He allowed me to hold him still, the feeling of his hair brushing against my skin bringing me back to the days we had laid in bed together, days where I would wake up in his arms, nuzzled into his bare chest.

"I just..." I said quietly, the embarrassment of what I was doing sinking in. We had broken up, he didn't want me anymore and I was throwing myself at him like a love sick puppy.

"I know." He said, brushing a strand of hair behind my ear before pausing just long enough for tension to come back into the air. "I should have called you..." He said. "When I woke up..."

"Why didn't you?"

It was a stupid question to ask, I knew better than anyone the awkward feeling of not being sure how to speak to someone. I knew the fear that came with wondering if it was better to just pretend nothing happened.

"I'm not sure." He admitted, shrugging sadly as he turned away from me. "Maybe pride… I'm not gonna stand here and pretend I didn't fuck up-"

"Wyatt, I'm the one who fucked up." I blurted before he could finish. "Everything- this entire year- I've ruined all of it. I don't blame you for leaving, you said so yourself, I'm nothing but baggage." My words slowed as my voice came to a whisper, the memories of the future I destroyed coming back hard.

"Kai, you aren't baggage. You have baggage, everyone does."

Even if I struggled to make eye contact, I couldn't stop staring at him. He looked exactly the same as the day we first met and yet so different. He was tall, probably matching me in height, and he was beginning to get small scruffs of facial hair. Just looking at him caused my heart to skip a beat… just the idea of seeing him again.

"I'm sorry." I sighed. "I shouldn't have ignored you like that, not right after we-"

A slight blush filled my face as I remembered we weren't alone, causing me to look back toward Tyson's house, meeting with several pairs of eyes that made zero attempt to pretend they weren't staring at me. They didn't need to know the details of our break up, especially when it involved me sleeping with him.

"Do you wanna go for a walk?" Wyatt asked, giving me the slightest hint of a smile.

I nodded.

"Yeah."

xxx

"When did you wake up?" I asked as we walked hand in hand down the bay, shoes and socks discarded at the boardwalk and bare feet in the sand. The waves hit the beachfront gently and I had to fold my pants over to keep them out of the water, my ankles chilled in the cool air.

"I was only out for two days, but they had to keep me at the hospital for longer." He shrugged. "Lots of tests and things like that, I have a pretty bad concussion."

"I tried calling but the workers refused to acknowledge that you were there. They just kept saying they couldn't confirm or deny having a patient under that name. Which was annoying, seeing as I already knew you were there."

"I'm sorry about the things my father said to you." He blushed. "Cecile told me."

"How can they force you to go home?" I asked. "After the way they treated you… you shouldn't be in that environment."

"Which is why I'm not going."

I paused for a moment, looking at him as the waves hit once again.

"You're not?"

"I mean, I'm going back to America, but I'm gonna be staying with my aunt and uncle in California." He paused. "It was Cecile's idea, she managed to talk my parents into it after saying it might be better for their image. She wants to see if she can find an apartment near them, too." He bit a quivering lip. "They were gonna disown me once I turned eighteen anyway, which will happen before you know it." A sad smile formed on his face as he looked at me, squeezing my hand slightly. "Happy late birthday, by the way."

"Thanks." I blushed, leaving out the part that he had walked into my birthday party that I hadn't asked for and was now ditching.

"I got you something." He reached into his pocket, pulling out what looked like a small book, the cover reading only the dates of 2006 to 2007. Handing it to me, I flipped it open and was met with a picture I remembered Wyatt taking of us during one of our dorm parties, myself sitting in between his legs as he hugged me around the neck. My smile in the photograph was genuine, holding onto the memories that I was making.

Continuing to look through the book, a flood of endorphins warmed my body. There was one from the night he had invited Tyson over, where I was wearing Wyatt's clothes and playfully flipping the camera off; in another we stood by a mirror and he held me by the waist, head resting on my shoulder. The pictures weren't only of Wyatt and I, several involving a drunk Avery with an arm over each of our shoulders or Henri sitting in Emile's lap… even Dmitri had managed to make it into a few… but really it was the last one that forced me to pause, staring at it as my emotions built up.

I didn't know who had taken it, but it had been from when we stayed at the hotel during our end of the year field trip. Wyatt was propped up onto a pillow, head leaned in as he had fallen asleep while we watched a movie. I had too, my body using him as a bed as I nestled into his chest, his arms around me as we slept cuddled together, his chin on my head.

There were no falsehoods in any of them.

I looked happy because I was happy.

Holding back tears, I clutched the book to my chest tightly, suddenly feeling small and vulnerable.

"Please don't leave..." I mumbled quietly.

"Kai..."

"Stay with me. We can leave everything that happened behind, we can start over."

"You know that I can't stay here. We aren't of age; where would I even live? Your dad isn't gonna get on board with your high school boyfriend moving in with you and we can't get our own place, besides, we aren't even close to graduating yet."

"We can drop out of school, figure something out."

"You know that's not an option."

"Then take me with you!"

"Kai-"

"We can figure something out, I know we can, just please don't give up on us! Not now!"

Wyatt wrapped his arms around me, ignoring any discomfort he felt from removing himself from his sling and pulling me into his chest tightly as I cried. I knew the things I said held no value, there was nothing I could say that would fix everything that happened. He was going home and he was leaving me behind, nothing was going to change that.

He didn't speak, aware that nothing he said would change anything. Instead he just held me, the person I thought I was supposed to protect, who I wanted to take care of, taking care of me instead. Just as he had the rest of the year. I was never his protector, but he had been mine.

Releasing me from his grasp slightly, he brushed the tears off my face before bringing our foreheads together, our noses touching for a moment before he leaned in to kiss me, a kiss that I returned as my stomach fluttered the same way it had when I had first discovered my feelings.

Although it lasted longer than was typical, as Wyatt pulled away it still hadn't felt long enough, touching a hand to the back of my head as I nuzzled my face into his neck. I felt like I had just gotten him back, now I was losing him again.

"We need to give ourselves time to grow." He said sadly, "We need to learn how to love ourselves and figure out what it is that we want."

"I want you."

"I mean as a whole. Go to England, make new friends and new memories and graduate with them. Learn who it is that you are underneath the sadness and use it to thrive." He squeezed me tighter, even though it still didn't feel tight enough. "It isn't goodbye forever, Kai." He said. "We'll see each other again someday, I know we will."

"I'm afraid that you'll forget me."

"I have four screws in my shoulder blade that assure me I won't."

I allowed a small giggle to escape me, forcing myself to memorize the feeling of his body in my arms. I would never forget the things that happened this year, I would never forget how much I changed as a person. It was all because of him. Everything I accomplished, who I now was, it was all because of Wyatt.

Letting go of me, he took hold of the book of photographs that was still in my hand, turning it around and opening the back cover where he had written something.

"This is my new address." He said as he pointed to the roman letters and numbers. "Write to me, okay?"

"I can't have your number?"

"Kai, if you texted me in California from Japan I'm pretty sure your dad would have a heart attack when he saw the bill. Besides, I wanna make fun at your bad English skills, you're already terrible at writing as it is."

We both giggled sadly, hugging each other one last time.

"I love you." I mumbled into his shoulder.

For a moment he didn't speak, causing a nervous quiver within my stomach. He was taking in the moment.

"I love you too, Kai." He said quietly. "I always will."

As we parted, taking the time to truly look at each other in a way that we hadn't done in a long time, I realized that I believed him. There was no weight on my shoulder insisting that he didn't mean it, no demon telling me he was just saying what I wanted to hear.

For what may have been the first time since I was a small child, I felt loved.

"When do you need to leave?" I asked.

"Cecile is waiting for me downtown, admittedly I'm already running a little late. I just… I couldn't leave without saying goodbye."

Taking his hand in mine, we walked once more, now away from the beach front and back into town. His sister was clearly not happy about how long he had been gone, saying something about airports and proper timing while clearly concerned about missing their flight.

As she hailed a taxi, I helped him carry his belongings, never taking my eyes off of him as I did so. I wanted to look at him, to take in every feature on his face.

As Cecile got into the cab, Wyatt paused, taking hold of my hand once more and squeezing it gently, brushing my hair out of my eyes, he cupped my cheek, still not as concerned as he should be about having his arm out of the sling.

"It isn't goodbye?" I asked, looking at him with what I hoped were puppy dog eyes.

"It's never goodbye." He smiled, leaning in and kissing me for the last time. "It's just see you later."

Getting into the cab, I closed the door for him, not taking my eyes off until it was out of sight.

See you later.

Xxx

I sat alone on a bench in the garden that Tyson's mother had made long ago, not yet ready to return to my friends. I needed time. The breeze which took through the air caused all the different smells to come together and the sounds of the birds and cicadas made for a nice distraction.

There was a peace I was required to make with myself and I wasn't sure how to do it. Even as my friends whispered with concern they had about me and Charlotte continued to giggle while playing the game of attempting to pet a fish, I wasn't able to quite figure out where I was supposed to go from here.

What did I do now?

Tyson's footsteps approached me gently, the quiet sound of gravel making his presence known.

"The garden isn't a bad place to think, huh?" He said quietly, sitting down next to me.

"Sorry I cut your party short." I sighed. "I'm just… I'm not really in the mood anymore."

"Technically it's your party."

"I didn't ask for one."

"I'm kidding." He said, elbowing me.

Now sitting in silence, the presence of another person made things awkward as I was unsure of the social etiquette that went along with it. I didn't have anything to say, not even to myself. All I managed to get out after the few minutes we lingered being a single sentence.

"I miss him."

"You really did love him, didn't you?"

I didn't dignify him with a yes or no response, instead wondering how things would have ended had I realized earlier in life who I was. I was attracted to men, and thanks to Wyatt, I had learned to be okay with that.

"I'm not sure people like me are supposed to fall in love." I said softly.

"That seems a bit homophobic, don't you think?"

I shoved him gently.

"I mean people with minds that work like mine. People who aren't normal."

"You're perfectly normal."

"I take offense to that."

I allowed just a hint of a smile to come out as I side glanced Tyson, leaning forward so that my elbows rested on my lap. Nothing to help you relax like bad posture.

"You know," He said, "I'm not sure you realize how much you've opened up since we first met. You might think that you still shield yourself and hide from the world, but I think we've learned a lot about you, and I don't think it was by accident."

"Meaning what, exactly?"

"You try so hard to label yourself, but it's just because you don't want the world seeing how two dimensional you are. You're socially awkward, you have childhood trauma, you're the strong silent type and you're as gay as the day is long." He winked playfully at me, "Maybe it's time to stop trying to fit into a single category and just be Kai."

He touched a hand to my shoulder, the comfort of human touch relaxing my body. It was a feeling that normally made me anxious, but for some reason my friends were able to skip past that part.

"I'm not ready for all of this to end." I said.

"Endings are for fairy tales, even if this part of your life is behind you, you're still going to keep living."

"Do I have to?"

"Take the easy way out and I'm taking a shit on your grave."

I giggled slightly, covering my mouth as I turned to look at him.

"The position of Best Friend is up right now if you wanna turn in your resume, I'm gonna need someone to help keep me on a short leash."

"Like, in a kinky way?"

I punched his arm, causing him to laugh and myself to smile.

"You wish."

"You'd be lost without me, Hiwitari, why don't you just admit it?"

Standing up, Tyson reached a hand out toward me, one which I took as he helped pull me to my feet.

"You can't even tell your right from your left."

"Neither can you." He looked at me again as I forced myself to maintain eye contact. "Wanna hit the snack table up one more time before you head home?"

As I watched my friends talk, I was brought back once again to the year I had. To the dorm parties, playing truth or dare like a group of preteen girls, running barefoot through hotel lobbies and smuggling cheap vodka back to our rooms and hiding it under our beds.

I had grown comfortable in a world where I was no longer lonely, and it would only end if I chose to end it.

"On second thought," I said, pocketing my hands. "I think I'll stick around for a bit."