Chapter 3: Fuck Me
"I can't do this Alice," I said, my breathing heavy and my heartbeat irratic. I really needed to calm down - if not for me, than for the *gulp* baby growing inside me.
"You have to, Bella. I'm right by your side, it'll all be okay," Alice tried to comfort me and I nodded numbly. Somehow I doubted everything would be okay.
But I guess she was right, I had to do this, wether I wanted to or not. So, finally I got out of Alice' car - she drove since I was too shaken up to drive anywhere - by which she followed and we walked up to Edward Cullen's house, Alice holding my hand for support.
"God, I hope his parents aren't home," I said, still avoiding knocking on his door.
"Carlisle is at the hospital working and Esme had some kind of bookmeeting today, so we're safe," Alice said - she was on a first name basis with all the Cullens - and knocked on the door since I was too frozen to do so.
The door opened, but much to my surprise it wasn't Edward who had opened it, it was Jasper. He had gone here after Alice came to me? Alice seemed as surprised as me, as was Jasper.
"Alice, I wasn't expecting to see you again today," Jasper said with his southern drawl, completely oblivious to me, having only eyes for Alice. Alice smiled and gave him a quick peck on the lips.
"We're here to see Edward, Jazzy, it's important," Alice said, not mentioning it was important to me for which I was grateful. Jasper nodded and stepped aside to let us in.
"He's goofing off in the living room with Emmett and Rose," He explained as he led the way to the livingroom where Emmett and Edward seemed to be wrestling over the tv-remote while Rosalie was examining her nails, seemingly bored out of her mind.
"Guys, knock it off! We have company." Jasper called out, by which they ceased all action and looked toward us. Everyone, including Ice-Queen Rosalie and jackass Edward smiled at Alice and completely ignored me. The only one who gave me a friendly smile as well was Emmett, Jasper was still too focussed on Alice to notice my presence, I think.
"Edward, we need to talk. Now," Alice all but growled at Edward, who seemed a bit intimidated by her, which surprised me a little. Then again, there was no one Alice could not intimidate if she wanted to.
Sighing, he stood up and followed Alice and I upstairs. Alice held onto my hand as she dragged me along, reluctantly. I could hear the slow and heavy footsteps of Edward behind me. None of us said a word. We never even spoke when Alice pushed us all in what seemed to be the spare bedroom.
After about 5 more minutes of silence it seemed like Edward couldn't take it anymore so he decided to open that stupid mouth of his, "Okay, what's all this shit about? And why did you bring mousy with you, Alice? You know I don't like uninvited guests."
After his little rant, I was close to tears again and wanted nothing more than to run away from him, as far as I could, but couldn't because of the tight hold Alice was keeping on my hand.
"Uninvited guests, huh? You didn't seem to mind her company so much in your bed two months ago. Or have you forgotten about that?" Alice hissed at Edward; he took a step back and glared at me. He was probably just mad that I had told about our little night together.
"Don't look at her like that, she had no choice but to tell me. Which reminds me, btw, you're a jerk for saying the things you did to her that morning after. She has feelings you know? Unlike some people," Alice ranted while I stood there trying my best to make myself dissapear into the background, by which I was failing miserably. Edward had crossed his arms and just seemed irritated at either Alice or me, or both of us, I couldn't exactly tell.
"What's this about, Alice?" He finally asked, clearly too annoyed to endure another round of Alice' rants. Alice kept quiet, instead she turned her eyes on me, pleading me to be the one to break the news, since it was, after all, it was my news to tell.
I knew no easy way to say this, so I just said it. Okay, I whispered it, but he heard. "I'm pregnant," I croaked out and watched as Edward's eyes widened, his face paled and his breath hitched. It was silent again, now, and this time the silent was even more awkward and uncomfortable than the first time.
"Please, say something," I whispered, unable to bear any more silence, my voice thick with tears.
"It's mine?" Edward asked, looking at Alice and seeming to avoid my eyes at all cost.
"Of course it's yours, you dumbass. Why else would we come here and tell you?" Alice retorted, obviously not impressed with how he was handling this situation. Though, I don't think any of us were really handling it, but Edward could have been nicer. He could have at least made an effort to be friendly, but the words that came out of his mouth then were anything but nice or caring, they were plain mean.
"How does she know it's mine? Maybe it's from some other guy she slept with. I'm not taking the fall for this!" He all but shouted at the end and I was doing my best to get away from Alice' grip, but that damn pixie was strong if she wanted to and she had no intention of letting me flee.
"Asshole! Bella is not a slut and do NOT ever call her that again or I'll cut off your balls! You are the only person Bella's ever slept with, you idiot! And I can see she hates herself for it," Alice said and I couldn't help it, but I finally let my tears fall, not caring anymore who saw me break down.
"Please, Alice, I told. Please, please let me go home now," I cried, begging her, still she wouldn't let go off me. Edward was looking at me in shock, clearly accepting what Alice had said to be true. Alice didn't lie, she said what was on her mind and that was that and anyone who knew her knew that. I saw Edward paling even more as the realization that he was soon to be a father dawned on him.
"Shit," He muttered and I couldn't help but agree with him. Shit, indeed.
"We need to tell our parents," I said, my voice surprisingly steady considering the current emotiontrip I was experiencing. Alice finally let go of my hand and slipped out of the room, much to my dismay, and left me alone with Edward.
"We don't have to tell them. You could take care of it. I'll pay, of course," He said, without even a hint of sorrow in his tone as he talked about getting rid of our baby. I was appalled.
"I'm not having an abortion, I'd sooner die," I said, anger seeping through my tone as I thought of even considering an abortion. This child did nothing wrong, and I couldn't let it pay for our mistake. Edward sighed but said nothing more about the subject.
Several minutes later, Alice came back in the room, cell phone in hand. I gave her a questioning look.
"I called both your parents and told them the both of you needed to talk to them and it was very important. They told me to tell you to both be here at 9 pm tonight. So no going out Edward, and Bella, you should probably just stay here, that way you don't have to face them sooner. I'll stay too, as moral support," Alice said and I looked at her in amazement that she was able to pull this off so soon. Then again, she was Alice, she could do anything if she set her mind to it.
"So this is really happening," I said aloud, more to myself than anyone else. Alice gave me a small smile, grabbed my hand again and squeezed it, letting me know she wasn't going anywhere.
"Fuck me," Edward cursed - he seemed to curse a whole lot - and I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. That was exactly what landed us in this situation, so it was kind of funny to hear the words from his mouth now, and I wasn't the only one who noticed the irony of it, Alice did too as she tried, rather unsuccesfully, to cover up her giggles. Edward was the only one who hadn't noticed what his choice of words meant, but that was because he was just now realizing the deep shit he was in.
Yep, we were in deep shit indeed. And tonight, we would be telling our parents, and something inside me told me that this would end badly tonight. But we had no choice, we were in this situation now and had to go through with it.