"Yujiro Hanma... That's a pretty epic name." Kirishima said.
"Sandra said he wouldn't be winning any father of the year awards, though. Something tells me he's not gonna be a very nice person." Mina said, concerned to hear about the father of her "Horn Buddy".
"I wonder what his Quirk is, though? Does her Harden, too? Kirishima's also really strong, so maybe he has a strength Quirk?" Midoriya wondered.
"Does that name ring a bell to anyone else?" Aizawa asked.
"I know I've heard it somewhere, but it's slipping my mind at the moment. But I don't think it was very good." Present Mic said, a bit concerned along with the other teachers.
Goku was seen with his fists up, wearing a hat, a watch, gold chains and rings on it with the Dragon Balls somehow connected to his hands, the word "Ight" below him. "Ight, ladies and gentlemen, it is finally time for the disrespectful moments in history 2." A familiar host declared as a blonde man was seen burying a large, muscular man he had recently finished off.
"Oh, hey. That's the guy who did that video on Revy." Jiro pointed out.
"Nice. He's a good blend of information and comedy." Kaminari said.
"Disrespectful moments, huh? This is my kind of video." Bakugo declared with a smirk.
"There shouldn't be any disrespectful moments! We should always treat everyone with respect and kindness!" Iida said, robotically chopping as always.
"Now, you see, this one is gonna be a little different." The host said as a ninja-like boy was then seen appearing to contemplate something. "See, usually, we would have multiple people from multiple different walks of life in the video." CJ continued to explain, show examples of disrespect, such as an orange-haired boy caught a strange demon man's sword WITH HIS HAND and then a schoolgirl broke the arm of another girl. "But today, we're gonna be focusing on ONE person." The host went on as a sponge and starfish ran forward with determination, only to stop with their eyes bugging open to massive sizes from pure shock as a wizard-like man held up a single finger.
Many were shocked when the orange-haired boy caught the man's sword. "Holy crap! That was awesome!" Sato cheered.
"I would certainly feel demoralized if someone stopped my sword swing like nothing." Yaoyorozu agreed.
But then, many of them cringed when the girl broke the other one's arm. "Yowch. That's gotta hurt." Asui said in concern.
"If it makes you all feel any better, I'm PRETTY sure the girl who got her arm broken was bullying the girl who broke it. So it's not undeserved." Sandra offered.
"Still, no one DESERVES to have their arms broken. There are better ways to deal with bullying." Midoriya said.
"Maybe we should have a school assembly about bullying and the proper ways to handle it." All Might suggested to the other teachers.
"Yeah, I don't see that going well." Present Mic shot down the idea.
"Now, I know some of you are probably wondering 'CJ, why are you only focusing on one person in this video'?" The host preemptively called out any questions as a man stood with his arms up in confusion. Then, a boy with a sheep-like head of hair that was smoking looked on as if he didn't understand what was going on. "Well, how do I put this? The man that we are about to talk about MIGHT damn well be the most disrespectful man in recent history." CJ explained as an image of a space man holding his hand out in front of a cowboy was shown as if he was trying to paint a verbal picture for the man. And immediately after, a dramatic poster appeared on the screen, reading "A new foe has appeared", showing the silhouette of a clearly very tall and muscular man was shown.
"Whoa. I guess Kirishima's dad must be one bad dude if he's getting a whole video on how disrespectful he is." Hagakure said in surprise.
"Ooh, I like the bad boys. And based on that silhouette, he's got a pretty nice figure~" Midnight purred.
"I don't know... The way the guy is talking about him makes him sound bad in all the wrong ways." Sero said nervously.
A yellow-skinned boy was then shown licking his lips as the host cleared his throat and prepared to speak. "Ladies and gentlemen... Yujiro Hanma is a walking Black Air Force." CJ declared as a massive muscular man with red hair stood over a man, before demolishing the man with a backfist punch. He was then shown relaxing comfortably and confidently on a couch. "Like, dog, this motherfucker is on demon time 24/7. From slapping bitches to beating the fuck out of his own son. The bastard out here fighting polar bears FOR FUN!" The host declared as he slapped a woman hard enough to send her flying, slammed his fist down on a red-haired boy on the ground and knocked down a giant polar bear with a sweep kick.
Everyone was shocked when the first thing they saw of the man was him decimating another man with a single punch. "Whoa. That was a pretty brutal hit." Todoroki said in shock.
"Not to mention, the guy's a beast. I doubt even I could hit that hard with three arms at once." Shoji added.
The teacher's suddenly gasped. "Now I remember! He's one of the most wanted men in the entire world! I can't believe he of all people actually sired young Kirishima!" All Might exclaimed in shock.
"So... Kirishima's dad is a villain." Mina said in shock, along with many others.
Then, they were stunned to see him bring down a massive polar bear with a single kick. "No! Not the polar bear! They're endangered!" Koda cried out.
"That was a solid sweep kick though. The guy must be a pretty skilled martial artist." Ojiro noted.
Kirishima let out a noise of uncertainty. "He's pretty strong, but I don't know about the martial arts stuff. It just seems like a way to dance around the fight to me. I say a real man should stand his ground, take any punches coming his way and dish 'em back just as hard!" He declared. [1]
"Not everything is about being manly, Kirishima. That kind of fighting works for you because your Quirk is based around defense. For anyone else, that's a good way to get your butt kicked. Martial arts is about fighting with strategy to avoid being harmed as much as possible in a fight." Uraraka told him.
"Like, this man's nickname is 'the strongest creature on Earth'. Peep how they said 'creature' instead of 'human'." The host pointed out as text below a grinning Yujiro's face read "the strongest creature in history", indeed calling him creature instead of human or person. A blank-faced bald man was then shown. "And, I mean- bruh, they ain't cappin'- LOOK AT THIS MOTHERFUCKER! This man got 0.01% body fat, a jawline gifted from JESUS himself!" CJ pointed out as Yujiro was doing a perfect split, then focusing on his gorgeous jawline with a certain bearded savior smiling and giving a thumb's up. "His back is a LITERAL second torso! HOW THE FUCK YOU GOT A SIX PACK ON YOUR BACK, BITCH!?" CJ demanded incredulously as truly did appear as though he had a second set of perfectly chiseled abs on his back. "Yeah, I understand why they call him 'creature' now. Like if you get compared to BIGFOOT'S fat ass... I don't know, man, youse literally... you just built different. On some freaky-ass shit." CJ said in bewilderment, showing several equally bewildered people.
Everyone recoiled and shook their heads in utter shock and disbelief at what they saw. "Holy crap, that dude's jacked!" Kaminari cried out.
"Not even All Might was that jacked when he was a Pro." Sato said in shock.
"I can't even begin to imagine how intense his training must have been to yield such muscle definition." Iida said in awe.
"That just looks wrong. You're not supposed to have a six pack like that. I think I might be sick." Jiro said, covering her mouth.
"Yeah. If you had told me before people compare him to bigfoot, I'd be skeptical. But now, I believe it." Midoriya admitted.
The bald man was then shown again, but now looking far more serious. "Now, I know a lot of you are already typing in the comment section right now: 'Hey! Hey, CJ! Why that motherfucker not at the round table yet, cuz'!?" The host once more preemptively called out his audience's response while showing a woman typing and an annoying-looking kid with glasses, before showing an all-black room with only a few small lights to see with, a large round table sat in the middle of the room, underneath an insignia that looked like a planet, with chairs around it for a number of incredibly menacing-looking individuals and... a semi truck? Next to which was a familiar female to the left-most spot of the table.
Many were surprised and interested when they saw this table and the people sat at it. "Whoa. All those people look like they mean business." Mineta said fearfully.
"No shit. My sister's in that group. That means they must be badass to hang with her." Bakugo said.
"So, is this a hero agency or something? I've never heard of such a group before." Tokoyami asked.
"Indeed. Many of them look rather unrefined." Aoyama said.
"Oh, no. CJ is similar to me: a universal observer, of which there are millions. And he has compiled those he believes to be worthy in this round table of black air force activity and sat them there as basically a badge of honor. They could be good or evil. All that matters is that they're a badass who exemplifies black air force activity. Kind of self-explanatory, really." Sandra explained.
The sponge from earlier then had a reassuring arm around the shoulders of a blue shark-like fish. "Listen, listen, listen, listen... I know Yujiro has been the most requested people to be in the round table of Black Air Force Activity, besides- like Guts." He admitted, showing a scene of Yujiro eating a punch to the face from the redhaired boy to absolutely NO effect, before showing a bunch of request comments taking over the screen and showing the starfish from before, but also a grim-looking man with short hair. But then he showed the image of a happy little monkey-tailed boy. "But you know why it took me so long to do this? Because, you see, this man has done so much heinous-ass shit that I cannot give him a regular trial. Like, deadass, I would run out of exhibits." He explained, showing a man leaping on Yujiro from behind, then revealing himself in a judge's robe, leaned back in the chair, with a folder of evidence on the table.
"Whoa. He's really done that much disrespectful stuff? That's insane." Present Mic said, impressed.
"How many 'exhibits' does he usually provide as evidence?" Yaoyorozu asked.
"Up until recently, he's only ever done A to C. It was until VERY recently someone has been disrespectful enough to warrant an Exhibit D. So Yujiro was unprecedented before this, since he did too many things for the first three exhibits." The celestial informed them.
"Are three instances really all that's required to enter this round table?" Todoroki asked.
"Well, these entries can be either pretty extreme or pretty expansive. Like, one entry could be the takeover of a country or something." The Empress informed them.
A soldier in futuristic armor was shown holding the brim of his helmet. "So I was like 'Alright, bruh. I'm just gonna have to give him a whole 'Most Disrespectful Moments in History' episode to himself. Because, this is the only way I can do it, because it's gonna be a lot, bruh." The host explained, putting the episode title over a clip of Yujiro's face. Yujiro was then seen effortlessly holding the blade of an elderly man's sword. "Like, I'm probably not even gonna be able to add everything on here. So anything I leave off, just tell me and I'mma just put 'em in other parts." CJ told the audience, showing himself in preacher's robe with a choir behind him, before showing a clip of... Kaminari!? As the boy was in his "yay" mode, giving thumb's up.
"Is that me!?" Kaminari asked.
"Yep. I'm far from the only observer who can view into your world. Lots of us view into your world. Mostly to see how Deku will grow and become a hero, but we make sure to check in on the rest of you." Sandra explained.
"Wow, Deku. I didn't realize you were everyone's favorite!" Uraraka said happily.
"Bullshit! I should be their favorite." Bakugo snapped.
"Actually, according to a recent popularity poll, you ARE everyone's favorite, Bakugo. We just know what is generally happening with you. With Midoriya, you never know what will happen. Will he master his power? Or will he break his arms off or something? Either way, we're spending too much time on this, the trial hasn't even started yet. No more questions until the trial actually starts!" Sandra ordered as they continued the viewing.
"So, everybody sit back, relax, grab some popcorn, lace up your Black Ones and, uh... let's get started." CJ suggested, showing a few images of people relaxing, a food vendor with popcorn, a pair of black shoes, a strange monkey puppet looking back and forth and finally, a small yellow mouse-like creature smacking its own butt tauntingly.
Yujiro was then shown laying back on the floor. "So, to understand the philosophy of Yujiro Hanma's disrespectful ways, you have to go all the way back," CJ began, showing a man pointing to the door behind him, before showing the void of space. "I'm talking so far back, our protagonist ain't even born yet. I'm talking about 1973 in the Vietnam War." The host explained, showing the year in giant letters, then showing a military outpost. A much younger Yujiro was then shown beating the soldiers. "This man was fighting a whole-ass war with his BARE HANDS at the age of SIXTEEN!" He exclaimed, much to the utter disbelief of a little girl in pigtails."Like, bitch, this is the equivalent of running around in Warzone with your bare fists and just beating the shit out of everybody!" He declared, showing footage of a video game doing what he had just described. "This motherfucker took guerilla warfare to a whole nother level. On some pure-ass Rambo type shit." The host said as Yujiro emerged from a river, stole a soldiers gun and bent it as if it were rubber.
"Holy crap! This dude is crazy!" Ashido cried out.
"Ribbit! He's bending that gun like it's a toy!" Asui exclaimed as well.
"To be running around a warzone with guns going off everywhere... He must have a Hardening Quirk like me, right?" Kirishima asked.
"No, he's just crazy. I mean, at least he's smart enough to use guerilla warfare tactics, hiding until he got close enough and only engaging the enemy in small numbers." The hostess explained.
"That's completely insane and reckless on a whole new level. Not even these kids are that careless." Aizawa said.
"Should we take that as a compliment, or..?" Ojiro asked.
"So, while he's in Vietnam, he meets this woman named Jane and she out here trying to throw that ass BACK! She tried to seduce the hell out of this man." CJ moved on as a lovely blonde woman put her hand gingerly on Yujiro's face as romantic music played. "She's like 'You wanna get laid, bitch? Or maybe you still haven't experienced a woman yet'." The host gave the play by play as Jane continued to try and make moves on Yujiro, who didn't even seem fazed at all.
"Madam! He is underage!" Iida reprimanded the woman, flailing his arm.
"Well, the Vietnam war was quite a while ago, Iida. The age of consent may have been different back then." Midnight pointed out, before smirking. "Besides. Women have needs. In times of war, you have to get it where you can." Midnight said.
"That is definitely not something to tell the students, midnight!" All Might told her in a minor panic.
"And look at him, he's like 'Uh, bitch, shut the fuck up'. Then he turns and walks away, bruh! This man is like 'I'm not about this bullshit today'." The narrator explained as Yujiro walked away without so much as a word. "But she still keep on running her mouth and talking shit! So the moment she turned around, this man Yujiro came right behind her back and said 'Shall I tear your skull out right here?' Homie was deadass about to peel the skin off of this bitch!" CJ exclaimed as Yujiro grabbed her from behind and put two fingers in her mouth in preparation to take the skin from her face. "And look at her, she like 'Damn, this man got two fingers in my mouth'. Then this man just pimps slaps her like 20 yards, gave her a whole lecture and walked out into the sunset." The host said as the red-haired teen sent the woman flying with a slap to the face and walked away once again after some harsh words.
Everyone was shocked and horrified as he put his fingers in her mouth and threatened to rip out her skull. "No! Please don't hurt her!" Koda pleaded.
"We've already seen this man is a killer. I doubt he'll have much, if any qualms about taking her life." Tokoyami said worriedly.
"Come on, man! Those guys were soldiers! This is an innocent woman! Have some standards!" Dark Shadow cried out.
They all sighed in relief once he let her go, only for a new wave of shock and anger to overtake them as he slapped her. "Hey! You can't hit a girl like that!" Hagakure complained, a raised sleeve suggesting she was holding a fist up in the air.
"I can't believe how far he sent her flying! That's insane! I hope she's okay." Sero said in concern.
CJ was then in his preacher robe once again. "But, nah, you thought this man was DONE in Vietnam? Naw, he was just getting STARTED! This man goes on to kill a whole-ass general on some covert ops type shit. And to disguise himself so he can enter the base, he ripped off the general's face and used it as a mask!" He declared in shock and disbelief as Yujiro took down the general, who was then receiving medical treatment, before sitting up and peeling his face away to reveal Yujiro underneath. "So then this man just runs wild, just beating the shit out of everybody, busting through ceilings and shit." He continued as Yujiro beat down every single person he came across and did indeed smash down to the floor below him by breaking through the roof.
"Mon Dieu! This man is a monster!" Aoyama shrieked, turning green in the face with all the girls and a small handful of the boys as well.
"That is literally something out of a horror movie. As in, I've seen that done before. In a horror movie!" Shoji said in disbelief.
"This is a new level of insane. I don't even think Shigaraki would go that far!" Asui exclaimed.
"And the Jane pops back up and she's like 'Listen, motherfucker, I got some TNT and I'm about to blow this bitch sky high'." The host explained as Jane appeared, showing off an oil drum rigged with TNT to Yujiro. The two were then seen making their escape. "So while they're escaping, Yujiro STOPS. And she's like 'What the fuck, bitch, why you stop?' And he just stands there and EATS the entire explosion!" CJ declared as the building did indeed explode, with Yujiro being completely unaffected, other than his hair coming undone from being tied back, much to Jane's shock.
"That's awesome! I ate a few of Bakugo's explosions in the Sports Festival, maybe I could tank that!" Kirishima wondered.
"NO!" All the teachers and the rest of the Bakusquad all shouted at once.
"I hit you with a bunch of weak blasts! Nothing near what I used against Deku in the Battle Trials, or even pink cheeks in the tournament! If I went all out, you would've been turned into gravel!" Bakugo warned him.
"Still, he clearly has his doubts about her. Why would he trust her with that bomb?" Midoriya wondered.
"And why would he suddenly stop when they're still in the bomb's range? Like, clearly, he was fine, but still! It doesn't make any sense! Why go along with a plan for so long, then abandon it at the most dangerous point?" Yaoyorozu asked.
"Maybe that WASN'T the most dangerous point." Jiro theorized.
Suddenly, he slapped Jane once again out of nowhere. "So then he pimps slap old girl again and he figures out that she's a whole-ass UN agent named Diane, leading him into a whole trap." CJ revealed as Yujiro explained his knowledge of Diane's true identity and the trap laid out for him. She then came at him with a knife, but he easily caught her arm and disarmed her. "So she tries to kill him, but obviously, uh... That ain't gonna work, honey. So how did he make her pay for this?" The host question, before hissing in air uncomfortably as a boy was shown facepalming. "Well... He gave her that 'Redo of Healer' treatment!" He declared in a strange tone as a boy was seen laughing maniacally while an apparent audience gasped in shock, before a tiny albino boy trembled in horror.
"Why is that so shocking? What exactly happens in this 'Redo of Healer'?" Aizawa asked, but already felt dread at what the answer might be.
"Lots and lots and LOTS of grapes." The celestial explained, deeply disturbed based on the tone of her voice.
"What's so wrong about-" Mineta began to ask.
"Remove the 'G'." Their host said quickly.
Everyone took a moment to process what she meant, before their eyes widened and they gasped in horror. "No way... How could he do something like that!? WHY would he do that?!" Hagakure asked, horrified.
"He believed she had embarrassed and humiliated him by trying to lead him into a trap. So he repaid her with what he believed to be the greatest embarrassment and humiliation a woman could suffer: rape and forced pregnancy." Sandra exclaimed.
"That is so not manly. This guy's nothing but scum! How can he be my father?! How can his blood run in my veins?" Kirishima asked.
However, Todoroki was quick to put a hand on his friend's shoulder. "You aren't your father. Just because you share his blood doesn't mean you'll be like him." He assured the Hardening Quirk User.
Yujiro then emerged from the darkness of the building with Diane in tow, much to the horror of the soldiers. "So after he gives her the googlies, this man uses her as a body shield, then just kills everybody outside and breaks this man's neck with one hand." CJ gave another play-by-play as Yujiro threw Diane at the soldiers, before rushing in and slaughtering then, before grabbing a man in a suit by the neck and snapping it. Diane then grabbed a pistol and aimed at him. "So old girl holds this man up at gunpoint, trying to kill him AGAIN, then this man flashed the whole demon back at her and just look at her face, bruh. Just in pure shock! And she like 'Damn... I'm really about to have that motherfucker's kid...'" CJ said as Yujiro contorted his back muscles in such a way to look like a horrifying demon's face, leaving Jane in shock and horror.
Everyone has similar looks to Diane as they saw the way Yujiro's back looked. "That... That's not natural. What is that?" Ashido asked shakily.
Sandra actually looked uncertain at this. "Uh... Let's see here..." She said, holding her hand out.
Suddenly, a purple aura surrounded Uraraka, causing her to stand up. Her phone then flew out of her skirt's back pocket- which also consequently flipped the skirt, flashing her teddy bear undies to Midoriya in the process (as he was sat behind her), causing him to get a nosebleed. "Eek!" She shrieked, pinning down her skirt and sitting back down, since the aura dispersed around her once the phone left her pocket.
The phone then flew to Sandra's hand, turning into the latest model smartphone, at which point she looked up the demon back. "It says here 'The Demon Face is a 'technique' in which the user very forcefully flexes the back muscles to form the face of a demon. The user becomes many times stronger to their level prior to activation in every aspect, experiencing an increase in physical strength, speed, endurance, stamina, etc. The user can virtually absorb any hit, Additionally, the user can dish out massive amounts of damage in return'." The empress explained the ability.
"There's still more." The celestial told them before they could get too excited. "It also says 'In truth, the Demon Face is not so much a technique as it is a predetermined advantage such as height or muscle-building capacity, since it is a gift depending on genetics and bloodline. However, it can be treated as a technique since it is only activated when the user decides to use it'. So, yeah, not just ANYONE can do it. But Kirishima MIGHT be able to? Since he has Yujiro's genes. It's at least possible." Their host finished.
"If that is something I can do, I don't WANT to do it, because it came from him." Kirishima said.
"Power itself isn't evil, Kirishima. It's how you use it. It's your power, not his." Midoriya said, remembering exactly what he told Todoroki in the Sports Festival.
"Now then, let's get back to this." Sandra said, before remembering the phone in her hand. "Oh, right. Here you go, Uraraka." She said, the phone flying back to the gravity girl's hand, but still remaining as the smartphone. "Consider that upgrade an apology for the panty flash." She added.
The heroine-in-training's eyes glowed at this, hugging the phone to her chest. "Worth it!" She said.
"I worry about your priorities, Ochako." Asui told her.
"And ladies and gentlemen, that is how Jack Hanma was born." The host declared as a man stuffing his face was shown with happy music, before showing the horrific face of a bald man with a shaved head holding a bent nail in his teeth, before another blonde boy was shown crying. "But that is only the FIRST son- at least that we know of, dude said he has MANY children- Shit, now we have to go over how the main character was born." CJ explained as a starry night sky was shown in the background with an image of Yujiro reaching outward on it, with Jack on the left side throwing a round kick, before the image of the red-haired boy Yujiro was beating on at the beginning appeared.
"So, he's not just a piece of shit rapist, but he's a man-whore, too?" Sato questioned.
"I'm... Not exactly sure I'd say that. To my knowledge, he really only goes to the trouble of procreation in order to have children that could grow up to fight him one day. Or to humiliate someone in the case of Diane and a few others. He doesn't seem to care about getting his rocks off." The host told them.
"Then... Did he do what he did to Diane to MY mom." Kirishima asked in horror.
Sandra stopped to think about this for a second. "Probably not. He's DEFINITELY a psychopath, but he's not a TOTAL monster. He's even protected people too weak to defend themselves in wartimes AFTER Vietnam. And, as you're about to see, Yujiro CAN be VERY suave, so it wouldn't be hard to believe he managed to make your mom play for the other team for a bit." She explained.
"Well, at least he has SOME things going for him." All Might said uneasily, obviously not wanting to praise them man, but hey- you gotta give a guy SOME credit for defending innocent people in times of war.
"I'm guessing by 'main character', he's talking about the redhead and more observers like you follow his story?" Aizawa asked.
"Yep. That would be Kirishima's half-brother, Baki. His main drive is to become strong and defeat/prove himself to Yujiro. And a lot of people apparently follow this. I've been meaning to take a peek at his adventures, but I keep getting sidetracked." The celestial explained.
A black and white teddy bear was then shown clearing its throat, before a gorgeous redhead woman stepped out of a limo with smooth jazz playing to emphasize her attractiveness. "Meet Emi, Baki's crazy-ass, weird-ass mom. Like- for real, I ain't gonna cap- this bitch is weird as hell." CJ introduced the woman, before showing her immediately make out with her own son once she reached him, even inserting text below reading "But dat's her son?" [2]
Many were soon enamored with the beautiful redhead on-screen. "Oh, I wish she would be MY mommy." Mineta said, drooling.
"Gotta give Yujiro one thing, he's got good tastes in women!" Kaminari agreed.
"For real. I have no clue what CJ's talking about, she seems gre- OH MY GOD!" Sero began, before everyone gasped at Emi having a full-on makeout session with HER OWN SON.
"I was REALLY not prepared for this!" Jiro said, covering her eyes.
"I don't think any of us were." Bakugo admitted.
CJ was then leaned back in a chair in his judge robe again. "But ladies and gentlemen, she wasn't always a crazy-ass bitch. No, no, you see- back in the day, she was in a very happy relationship with a rich dude. She was enjoying her life on a honeymoon." The host explained as she was observing a ring on her hand, before her husband put a coat on her shoulders and led her inside their mansion. Then, later on, they were at a party. "So then, that night, they go to a party, right? And guess who's there? Yujiro. Staring her ass down. While she with her mans at a party. And look at her, bro, she is MESMERISED! It's like he's dicking her down with just his eyes!" CJ exclaimed as Emi noticed Yujiro glaring at her hungrily while radiating an intimidating aura, as if his eyes had her frozen.
"Get out of there, Emi!" All the girls cried out at once.
"I mean, we've already been informed she had Yujiro's son, so we know she didn't." Shoji said.
"On the plus side, that also means we know nothing bad is going to happen to her here... right?" Midoriya tried to reassure the girls, but he seemed rather uncertain himself towards the end.
"So then her husband just sees her just straight up staring at him. And then he just slaps her ass! Goddamn, in front of the party, motherfucker?!" CJ cried out as the man backhanded his wife for staring at Yujiro, much to the shock of any onlookers.
"That is completely unacceptable! That is abusing your wife and a female!" Iida said, chopping away once more.
"Indeed. So distasteful. Especially at such a gorgeous and chique gala such as this." Aoyama said, disapprovingly.
"And it wasn't even her fault! He's the one staring at her! She looks more scared than anything!" Uraraka cried out.
"With someone as dangerous as Yujiro staring at her, I don't blame her. That aura he's exuding and the glare on his face makes me think he wants to eat her more than anything... And not in the fun way." Midnight said.
"Did you really have to say that last bit? We should be keeping it clean on the air, Nemuri." Present Mic chastised her.
"So then this man confronts Yujiro and he's talking mad shit, he like 'Your fashion sense? Ass! Your cut? Ass! Your shoes? Ass! Your demeanor? Ass!' Then he just throws a whole plate of soup on my dude!" The host recounted the events as the husband walked up to Yujiro, before hurling insults and ruining the martial artist's outfit. "And Yujiro's like 'Oh? So you wanna get disrespectful? Alright, I can get REAL disrespectful REAL quick.' So he just leans in and kisses his wife." The host went on as Yujiro wordlessly reached out, grabbed Emi and pulled her in for a kiss.
"I'm amazed no one asked him to leave yet. Sure, Yujiro staring at Emi isn't great, but at least it's subtle and would only be a problem if no one reported him. This guy is making a huge scene and disturbing another guest that, as far as they know, didn't do anything wrong." Asui pointed out.
"I'm kind of wondering how Yujiro made it in to this big, fancy party. He doesn't seem like the super rich type." Tokoyami explained.
"You really think someone actually told him 'you can't come in'? And survived?!" Dark Shadow questioned.
"That could easily be the case, but he DOES get paid very highly as a mercenary and assassin." Their host informed them.
But then they saw the kiss. "Whoa. That's like ten times more disrespectful than the soup thing." Koda said, surprised.
"Well, this can't possibly end well." Ojiro said.
Another martial artist then stepped in on the husband's behalf. "So homie gets mad and he's like 'Alright, bro, I'mma let this dude handle you!" CJ recounted, before a rather unimpressed homeless-looking man was shown. "But, we all know, this bitch ain't gonna do shit. So Yujiro just gives him THE NASTIEST axe kick and just drills his face into the ground, just completely one-shotting homie, embarrassing old dude even more and giving his wife the old giddy-giddies." The host said as the martial artist lunged forward at Yujiro, who raised his leg in one fluid motion, before slamming it down on the top of the man's head and smashing him through a table, much to everyone's shock, minus Emi, who began to tremble in arousal.
"Ooh! Gotta feel bad for that guy." Kirishima said.
"Yeah. He didn't even know what he was getting into and got his ass kicked." Kaminari agreed.
"This is something you'll have to prepare for as well, students. You never know what a villain's Quirk might be going in. And you could find yourself backed into a tough situation if they're Quirk is particularly powerful, or a good counter to your own. So it's important to assess a situation and figure out a way around it, rather than rush in like that man did." All Might told them.
"But is anyone else concerned that Emi looks like she LIKED seeing that?" Mineta pointed out.
"Maybe she was just impressed with his muscles and power?" Hagakure suggested, hoping she was more interested in that than the violence.
Emi's husband was then seen drinking wine, before throwing the glass down to the floor in frustration. "So then this man goes back to his hotel all mad and shit because he got made to look like a whole-ass beta male in front of his wife. So then he's trying to take his anger out on his wife and shit, but this man Yujiro PULLS UP in the hotel room, just out of nowhere!" CJ exclaimed as the man was snapping at Emi, only for Yujiro to suddenly appear behind him. "Man is like 'Ey, girl. I came to see you', IN HOME BOY'S ROOM!" The host cried out once again as the man looked on in shock.
"I'm getting REALLY sick of her husband right now." Todoroki said angrily, his upbringing giving him VERY strong feelings against someone mistreating their spouse.
"And he said this was only their honeymoon, right? Imagine how their marriage would be!" Sero exclaimed.
"Marriage counseling at the VERY best case scenario." Tokoyami said.
But then, they all jumped at Yujiro's sudden appearance. "What the!?" All the students exclaimed at once.
"He said he came to see her... D-did he come to steal her away?" Uraraka asked worriedly.
"Honestly, at this point, I'm not sure which one of them is worse." Iida said.
The man then ran screaming to the hotel's phone. "So then dude runs over to the phone all scared and shit, like 'Hey, security! Where the fuck are you guys at! Somebody come help me! And well- uh, security..." CJ explained the situation, before showing off a grey-haired boy casually sipping some tea.
"Hello? Hello, hello?" A recorded voice over a phone called out as it was revealed the security team had been wiped out.
"Them bitches knocked the fuck out." CJ explained.
A few of them couldn't help but laugh at this. "And that's probably how he got into that party in the first place." Shoji said.
"But I'm amazed he did that so fast and quietly that the two of them never heard anything, or security never had the chance to evacuate them." Yaoyorozu noted.
"We already saw him blitz a bunch of soldiers with guns, even if he did throw a woman at them. The guy's not just strong, he's fast, too." Bakugo pointed out.
The man then had a gun to Yujiro's head, because he must have ignored the man to walk up to Emi. "So old dude pulls a gun on him, but we all know what happens when you try to pull a gun on this motherfucker." The host said as a boy was shown sitting on the couch, looking bored and changing the channel he was watching as if he'd seen it all before. "He grabs his neck with one hand and breaks his neck while still flirting at the same time. And look at her, she liked that! Oh, she a freak!" CJ cried out as Yujiro grabbed the man by the neck and ended him with zero effort, much to the enjoyment of his former wife.
"Well... He's quite the multi-tasker..." Midoriya said in shock.
"And she liked seeing him snap the neck of the man she loved, however briefly. They're both psychos. They were made for each other in that case." Aizawa said.
"Still, I guess Sandra wasn't wrong in the end. For as messed up as everything he did was... he was definitely pretty suave." Midnight admitted.
"I wonder if I could get a girl hooked like that if I glare at them like that..." Mineta wondered quietly.
But not quietly enough, as everyone heard him. "No. No, you can't." Everyone said at once. Even the teachers and the hostess.
Yujiro then wrapped his arms around the woman and held her tightly as romantic music played. "So then he like 'Listen girl, let me give you the sweet talk real quick. I wanna break your back so goddamn hard right now. Shit, I might even break your back so goddamn hard it might even kill you one day. Give birth to my child so I may have a worthy opponent in the future.'" Yujiro declared, looking at her lustfully, a look she eagerly returned [3]. Emi was then seen with a hand over her utero area. "And yeah, uh... That's how Baki was born." CJ said simply as the redheaded boy was shown once again.
"Is anyone else INCREDIBLY unnerved by the way he said that?" Tokoyami asked.
"I'm definitely getting a serious sense of foreboding." Dark Shadow agreed.
"Yeah. I'm getting seriously bad vibes from this. My shipping senses tell me this is a match made in hell." Mina said.
"Then that can't be very good news for Baki." Kirishima said, concerned for his half-brother, even if he's never met him.
"I think being born Yujiro Hanma's child is bad news for him." Jiro said.
[1] In "One's Justice 2", Kirishima has stated in a victory dialogue against Midoriya (I think? It's not Ojiro, he's not even playable) in arcade mode that he won't lose to a martial artist. My guess is he thinks anything other than a back-and-forth slugfest isn't manly. Kid's WAY too hard-headed. And not just because of his Quirk.
[2] It wouldn't let me add eleven question marks...
[3] I cut out the "foreshadowing" bit to keep it a surprise for them when that happens. I'm guessing CJ probably expected people to have watched the show before watching his videos. Or just doesn't care about dropping spoilers.