That last chapter was really short, so here I am updating nice and fast.

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Chapter 5

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I could do nothing but pout lately. I hated it. No one loved me, and I loved no one. I walked the courtyards by the lake with Crabbe and Goyle, just moseying around with no real destination. The cronies were arguing amongst themselves as to if Crabbe had really seen the giant squid's tentacle a while back in our walk. I wasn't really paying attention. I just shuffled my feet, kicking dirt around as I walked. I was still very deep in thought, and sometimes even forgot they were there.

I looked up to see how far I had walked. I was heading back uphill for the school now.

That's when I saw her. She was sitting by the stone ruins, all by herself, looking out to the lake. The wind was blowing her black curtain of hair in her face, and her cloak moved about her ever so gently.

I didn't realize I had even stopped, but it must have been abrupt because Goyle crashed into me and I found myself falling to the ground. My anger reared up like an instinct.

"Goyle, you clumsy lout! Why don't you think about what your doing for a change?"

"Sorry, Malfoy," Goyle said, giving me a hand up. I realized then that I had spoken a little loudly, and quickly glanced over to see if I had scared off Cho. Our gazes met for just a moment, and there was fear in her placid eyes, like I was scaring off a doe. She quickly gathered her books and began to hurry off.

I frowned at my own idiocy. Not just because I didn't get to talk to her, but because I wanted to in the first place. I watched her leave with some regret.

"She's a pretty one, huh Malfoy?" Crabbe said, pulling a piece of food out of nowhere and proceeding to stuff his face. Goyle chuckled his agreement.

"Let's follow her," he said lustfully. I found my anger flaring again at his words, and turned to them with fire in my eyes.

"You leave that one alone!" I said, then felt a twinge of that nagging evil in me telling me I was going soft. I recovered as best I could.

"I mean, if anyone's going to have her, it's me. She's probably too smart for you anyhow."

The two of them laughed and patted me on the back to encourage me. I let the evil take over and do the thinking, as it was supposed to be. She was pretty. I should have her. I don't know why I didn't decide on it before.

And, I thought with vengeful delight, her being Potter's ex would make St. Potter fly off the handle if I took her for my own. It lifted my downer spirits. She suddenly was excellent prey.

"Don't wait up, fellahs," I said with a low vicious cackle.

I came halfway down the hill after her then stopped. Logic overcame the evil. What was I doing? I couldn't do that to her. No, it wasn't my conscience. It was reason. She knew my secret. If I just shagged her and dumped her, she'd be angry with me. Maybe angry enough to blab my secret…

I frowned. She had promised silence, but revenge for me could undo that oath in a second's time.

My chest fell. I was disappointed. I really wanted her. And what I wanted, I took. Who cares if she was angry? If she showed any sign of tattling, I'd just blow her pretty head off.

But inside, that wasn't what I wanted to happen.

I stared as she hurried off down to the lake, and disappeared through a small hoard of trees. Her hair blended with her dark cloak, both trailing behind her in the breeze.

Oh, but I wanted her really bad…

"What's the matter, Malfoy?" Goyle called downward. I didn't answer, and didn't move.

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I awoke in the Slytherin room in my four-poster bed, curtains drawn. The other Slytherins in the room slept soundly, Crabbe snoring a bit louder than usual. Warmness was about me, and the sensation of another presence under the covers with me. There was a girl in my bed. I smiled to myself, a feeling of stolen joy in me, and turned over to look at my conquest in the eye.

I found Pansy, and my chest fell.

Of course. Why was I expecting someone else? Why was I disappointed?

I recalled the events of the day before with mourning. I hadn't followed Cho. Instead to fill the void in my boyish urgings I snogged Pansy all night long. Both of us being fully clothed still made me realize to some relief that nothing to dire had happened between us. But something had taken control of me. There was an addiction I couldn't ignore. I was changing somehow, and I knew the cause.

I jumped out of bed and grabbed my robe.

I had to talk to her.

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Signed,
--RedRogue