Title: Behind Closed Doors
Chapter 3
Word Count: 1,308
Rating: T, Possibly M later on
Pairings: Eventual James/Carlos, and I decided to have undertones of Kendall/Logan somehow, otherwise general.
Disclaimer: I, DallieJLovesBTR, do not, no matter how sad this makes me, own Big Time Rush.
Warnings: Abuse, implied rape, self-harm
Summary: AU His friends only saw the happy, peppy, playfully crazy him. They never saw the broken, pained, dying him. He wouldn't, couldn't let them. They couldn't know what happened behind closed doors.
Author's Note: This flashback is going to be a bit more of a positive one. I couldn't do another sad one. That just wouldn't have worked for me, I would slap myself. HARD. Anyway, yeah… Thanks again for reviews and stuff. It really does make me happy to see those things when I check my e-mail. OH! And in this chapter, I'll be focusing on James for a little. Time for some time in James head, don't you agree?
ENJOY.
DallieJLovesBTR
Carlos, now eight-years-old, sits on the school bus, holding his little brother's hand on the bus to their new school. Their father had been offered a job on the Jackson, Minnesota Police Department, just as the old town began to figure out what was going on in the small home. But, no, the man got off scot free from his crimes when he waved good-bye to the town and dragged his children from the city with their mother and sister's remains.
Mateo leaned on his brother's shoulder, and squeezed his hand nervously. He didn't like meeting new people for fear they would all hurt him like the man who raised him did. The idea of moving and a new town frightened him more than anything. Carlos rubbed circles on the back of the smaller hand reassuringly."It'll be okay, Matty, no one will hurt you here," He whispered to his brother as they pulled up to the school. Carlos bit his lip, realizing that now he'd have to leave his brother. He didn't know if Mateo could handle that, he didn't know if he could handle that. He picked up his backpack quickly and gently pushed his brother out of the bus seat.
He held the small hand tightly in his and walked to the kindergarten hall. He looked for the room that had the name of his brother's teacher above the door. He found the room at the end of the hall. Mateo's teacher, Ms. Criss, was a young woman, fresh out of college. She was kneeling down talking to one of the other students right inside the door. Carlos gave his brother's hand one last squeeze and gave him a quick hug. "She looks nice." He said. "Just tell her you're new, okay?"
Mateo nodded and gave his brother another hug. "I love you, Carlos." He smiled slightly at the older boy and turned around, walking into the room.
"I love you, too. See you after school." He hollered at his brother, before running out of the hall. He ran to Mr. McMills second grade classroom. He was one of the last people in the small classroom. He approached the tall, mascular man and stood in front of his desk.
"Uhm, hi." He whispered. The man at the desk barely heard him, looking up from his paperwork slowly. "I'm Carlos Garcia, I'm new."
The man smiled at the small, mumbling boy. "Yes. I'm Mr. McMills, most of the kids call me Mr. M. I have a desk set up with all the books and other things you'll need. If you don't get something, don't be scared to ask, okay?" Carlos nodded and the man led him to a desk. He pointed the separate books out to Carlos and told him where they were before heading back to his desk.
Carlos sat down, and shifted awkwardly in his seat. He looked to the boy in the seat next to him. The boys brown hair falls to just above his hazel eyes. His cheeks are bright red, even on his tanned skin. He is busily coloring a piece of paper, not seeming to notice him. Carlos looked down at his desk and fiddled with his thumbs. The teacher told the class they have five more minutes before class will start, and the boy next to Carlos put up his supplies. Carlos kept his eyes glued to the desk, placing his hands in his lap.
The boy next to him looks over, and smiles widely. "I'm James." He tells Carlos, who looks over at him with a slight smile.
"Carlos." He whispers.
"Are you new?" James asked, curiously. Carlos nodded and James continued. "Do you want to be my friend? I can introduce you to my friends and with us no one can pick on you for being the new kid."
Carlos looked up at the tall boy, his smiled growing to cross his whole face. He nodded vigorously. They pair started chatting about nothing in particular until the teacher called the class to attention.
It was there, sitting next to that boy, that Carlos made a vow to be someone completely different here than he was at his old school, be someone completely different than he was at home. He would be carefree and innocent, as if his home life was perfectly normal.
It was Tuesday before Carlos woke from his pain induced coma. He woke up in his bed, Mateo holding his hand and passed out in the chair. He blinked a few times before looking at the clock. 6:14 A.M. Carlos turned his head to his brother's sleeping form. He noticed the puffy eye and purple cheek. He looked at the uncovered arms. They were almost completely purple. Carlos shook his head and pushed himself up from the bed. He groaned loudly, it wasn't one of his best ideas. His whole body was aching, his arms, his legs, his chest.
Mateo shifted in his sleep and opened his eyes. His eyes locked on Carlos instantly, and he jumped up. "Carlos! You're up." He said; his voice was full of relief. Carlos nodded not quite ready to use his voice. "That's fantastic. I was really starting to worry." He wrapped his arms around his small, older brother. Carlos flinched at the contact. Mateo pulled back instantly. "Sorry…"
"It's okay." Carlos whispered with a hoarse voice. "How long have I been out?" he asked.
"It's Tuesday."
"Tuesday?" He exclaimed. "Shit." He ran a hand through his hair.
Mateo nodded. "If I didn't know how to check for a pulse, I would've thought you were dead. Are you okay?" Carlos nodded. "Do you think you can go to school?" He shook his head, he could barely move. His friends would know something was wrong. Mateo nodded. "Okay… Just… Rest up. Don't leave your bed, please. I don't want you getting any worse. Take some pain medication, and sleep some more." Carlos nodded again. "I'm going to get ready and go to school. I'll be home right after. Bye, bro." He kissed his brother's forehead gently and left the room.
Carlos plopped down onto his pillow heavily and let himself drift off again, thoughts of how he had abandoned his brother for days filling his head and his dreams.
James flicked his hair out of his eyes as he continued to look around the halls for his little Latino. He hadn't been at school the day before, and now, the minute bell was about to ring and he still wasn't there. Carlos never missed school, and James was a little worried that he wasn't there. That and he really liked having the little guy around to keep things interesting.
He loved the way Carlos was just a little kid, in a teenager's body. His innocence and goofiness brightened up his day. His smile brightened up a room and you couldn't help but feel happy around the small kid. James wasn't sure… But he thought he might just be in love with the kid. He was always closer to him than any of the other guys, always hanging around and talking him through things he didn't understand.
James felt someone suddenly hit his arm, hard, pulling him out of his thoughts. "James," Logan said, "The minute bell just rang, we're going to be late. Who're you looking for anyway? You're crush?" He joked.
"No!" James said quickly, possibly a little too quickly. "I mean, no. Just looking around for people."
Kendall laughed, "Suuuure, you were. You should see your face, you're red as a tomato."
James hands shot up to cover his cheeks, even though the damage was already done. "Whatever, I'm going to class." He picked up his bag and stalked off to class without saying goodbye or looking back.
Is that what Carlos is? He asked himself. My crush?
So? What'd'ya think? Be sure to review!