Chapter 9:

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For the next few days, I was a changed man. I avoided Potter with every breath in me, and tried my best to 'run into' Chang as often as I could. Then we started meeting out by the lake together: she would fake a private 'study time' to get away from her friends and I would simply ditch mine.

Then I began to rely on her being there. If she was late, I would scold her, but if I ever did the same, I would get on her case for harassing me about it. After all, it wasn't as if I liked her or anything. It was just a bit of fun, something I was doing for kicks.

One day, I watched from the shoreline as she waded in the shallow water of the lake. I sat beside the clothes she had left behind, like her socks, shoes, and robes, under the shade of the trees and on top the moisture of the musty earth, and simply watched her. Her sleeves were rolled up, and she looked intently into the water looking for some ingredient to a potion she was trying to concoct in class. Her legs were beautiful, almost fully bare save for the gray uniform skirt, and graceful in the ripples forming around them. Her pale skin glowed in the reflection of the sun. I couldn't help but admire her like a Greek would admire a Nereid in those mythological histories I occasionally glanced over. You know, a sea nymph. That's what she reminded me of.

"Did you hear about Ginny and Harry?" she asked as if it was scandalous news.

"I'm not much for gossip," I replied harshly, fiddling with the end of my robe.

"Apparently after the Quidditch match yesterday he was all over her."

"He certainly aims high."

"Tell me about it," she agreed. "The little redhead's had three boyfriends since school started!"

"Potter must go for the slutty types."

She shot me a look, and I smiled jokingly, daring her to comment.

"You could help, you know," she pointed out, motioning to the plants in her hand.

I shrugged.

"I'm not much of a water person," I replied as if bored, scratching at my itching bandages underneath my robes. Whatever curse Potter had put on me had sure dug deep. "Besides, the view is much better from over here."

Cho looked at me with a strange look, then teased:

"You like the view, huh?"

"Don't get any ideas, Chang. I know you're obsessed with me and all, but please hold back the girly hormones. We've already established that your pretty to look at; nothing more. God, I hate repeating myself."

She smiled my way, the mocking look still apparent in her eyes.

"Oh really?" she asked. "Because from where I stand we've already established that you are in love with me. Why else would you ditch your friends, and your dumb task, just to spend time with me?"

She was absolutely right, though I hadn't sorted it out into in those simple of words in my head just yet. I hadn't realized how obvious it was. She put it so bluntly, and I was at a loss on how to answer her.

I stood up at once. I had almost forgotten the horrendous threat I had received just the other day, telling me I had better act soon of my life was done for. Panic swept over me like a wave. I ran my suddenly shaking hands through my blonde hair, knowing that my judgment was rapidly approaching, and I was nowhere near prepared.

"You're going to die with them, aren't you?" she said, that look of pity swelling into her eyes again. I hated that.

"Yes," I replied into my hands. I couldn't believe I was admitting defeat to her, or even to myself. It was so unlike me. But, I spoke truth, and we both knew it.

Cho slowly walked out of the water and then sat down beside me without a word.

"I wouldn't like it if you died, Malfoy." It was the first time I could remember her calling me by my last name. "You're good in heart, no matter how you will deny it. But I wouldn't wish others to die in your stead either. So, you see, I'm in a bit of a head crisis here."

"Why?" I replied angrily, furious that she pitied me so much. It was the worst feeling in the world, her pity. "Why don't you just say what you're thinking? 'Better me than anyone else', right?"

"Draco," she said, casting her eyes downward. "I'm trying to tell you I'm beginning to think differently."

I whipped my head up so fast it was a wonder I didn't break my neck.

"What are you saying?"

"I saw something yesterday," she explained, turning her head away. "When you kissed me. I could swear it was… like, or even love."

I snickered my disbelief, more out of habit than anything else.

"Just lie to me, Draco," she commanded boldly. She looked ready to cry again, the stupid blubbering git. "Just tell me it was love and I'll help you with your spells."

"You'd do that?"

"Yes," she said breathlessly.

That threw me for a loop. All her beliefs, out the window, just like that. For me. No one, not anyone had ever cared for me like that before. I was so stunned I couldn't speak. She made me a little nervous with this talk.

"Just lie, Draco!" she begged. "Lie so you make me believe that this is worth doing! Please!"

When I still gave no answer, she yelled in frustration and grabbed her shoes to leave. I grabbed at the end of the robe she cradled in her arms and looked at her straight.

"I'm in love with you. And I need your help."

Only that was no lie.

-

I found quickly, having a secret lover was good. Being in actual secret love was even better. Hopefully she couldn't sense that I hadn't been lying to her when I told her the big 'L' word the other day. She showed no outward signs of emotion, which bothered me, mostly because that was my trick, not hers. I finally saw firsthand how completely annoying it actually was.

Many an hour was spent with her in the Room of Requirement. I hadn't seen hide nor hair of Potter recently either, and with no one tailing me it made my plans much easier.

"If you raise your wand a little higher on this one," she said, moving my arm to the proper place. "You will get a more effective cast."

"Of course," I said, as I saw the better results of her suggestions.

My eyes fell to that damn cabinet that refused to be fixed. Cho's eyes found mine.

"I'm not going to help you bring about the end of Hogwarts," she argued before I even asked. "I'm helping you protect yourself, that's ALL."

She was so cute when she was firm with me.

I dropped my wand and attacked her face with mine. I grabbed her cheeks with my hands, and thoroughly devoured her lips. She dropped her own wand to grasp my hair. We were so fervent she stumbled back into the nearest wall. Her eyes were closed, which meant she was enjoying it to the fullest.

"I won't let anything happen to you," I breathed between kisses.

"That's not the point," she countered as she shifted to the other side of my face. "So much death…"

"Fix the cabinet… Then we can be done with all this… we can leave…"

"I can't, Draco… I won't…"

I shoved her away in the next second.

"Then why are you here?!" I yelled, storming over to where I had left my wand on the floor and thrusting it back into my cloak.

"So you can fight for your life!"

"Fight against You-Know-Who himself? Oh, brilliant plan…"

She looked to the floor as if just realizing how stupid her strategy sounded out loud.

"There is only one way for me to live, Chang," I told her. "And that's to fix that cabinet. Now is the time for you to choose. What can they give you? Your family's noble death and Potter living for the glory. Dumbledore is going to die whether I'm the one to kill him or not. But you have the power to save me. Join us… I want to save you from the inevitable…"

Cho grabbed her own wand off the floor, her hand shaking with nervousness. I nodded once more in encouragement. That's it… just do it… I thought to myself. She sighed deeply, and spoke:

"I can't save you, Malfoy," she said, waving a spell to the cabinet and fixing it immediately. "Because you won't save yourself. It's not my choice, Draco, it's always been yours. You can choose not to use it. You can follow me. I can help you more than cabinets and spells, Draco."

I looked to the repaired cabinet. Just like that, it was fixed. My task was attainable, my family saved. It was a monumentous relief. Yet my world was still not in harmony.

"No, you can't," I insisted behind narrowed eyes. I tried to direct my anger at her, but I was only angry at the injustice of it all. She didn't understand. Nobody understood.

She grabbed her things and prepared to go.

"I'm sorry," she whispered over her shoulder. "Then I don't want to see you again. Ever."

I said nothing. I could only watch her go. I understood completely. We had reached the point where we could not hold on to one another any longer. I had my side, and she had hers. We both were firmly grounded in those opposing sides. We could not drown our beliefs even for the greatest love either of us had ever known.

Her discovery of my darkest secret was not my most horrible blunder. It was not a regrettable error at all. But not following her that day… that was my one mistake.

-

"I can help you, Draco."

The old man's words pierced through me… Only because they had been hers.

"No, you can't," I insisted once more. "Nobody can. He told me to do it or he'll kill me. I've got no choice."

He said convincing words, his methods of persuasion deep. It sounded so wonderful… too good to be true. I wanted to be the good guy for once. The good guy for the perfect girl…

"Come over to the right side, Draco... you are not a killer..."

Not until I got acknowledgment. All I wanted was his respect. I wanted SOMEone's respect, for once.

"But I got this far, didn't I?" I said slowly. "They thought I'd die in the attempt, but I'm here... and you're in my power... I'm the one with the wand... You're at my mercy..."

"No, Draco," Dumbledore said quietly. "It is my mercy, and not yours, that matters now."

He was right. I could do it, I realized. I could do it for her. His way sounded so easy, so good. My mind fluttered with the possibilities, imaginings of Cho and I, and my parents proud and free… no more of this dark madness. No more Dark Lord's breathing down our backs, making us witness atrocious death and suffering, making us bring it about ourselves. Wasn't that blasted old coot the only person He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named feared, after all?

Cho's smiling face turned to me in my imaginings, her hand outstretched to me. It wasn't too late.

I could do it. I could do it for her.

So, with all the will I had left in me, I began to lower my shaking wand…

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END

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Signed,
--RedRogue