Screaming Gaffers: Mike, Courtney, Shawn, Noah
Killer Grips: Rodney, Amy, Lindsay, Heather
Episode 15: Million Dollar Babies
"Last time on Total Drama Action," Chris said over a shot of the film lot, "Our caveman movie challenges made some people look good," clips of the cast in their costumes were shown, "and other people look better!" Chris was shown in his loincloth.
"Rodney finally got to take off his cast," the country boy was shown having his sling removed, "and was able to be compensated," Rodney was listening to Chris explaining the benefits.
"And Shawn lost the ability to gain children," the conspiracy nut was shown being hit in the groin by Heather.
"As their reward," Chef was shown driving the ribs to the Grips, "the Grips won a mammoth rack of mastodon ribs," the team was shown walking to it. "While the Gaffers had to make do with what they could find," Chris laughed as the losing team was shown receiving a giant egg."
The recap ended and the camera flashed to a close up of two monitors in the monitor room. "Will Mike be able to avoid beavers forever?" The left monitor showed Mike looking away while a beaver on the right monitor stared at him. "Will Noah rest easy now that he has a king sized bed?" The feed on the monitors switched to Noah smirking. "And what will become of Amy and Heather?" The feed switched again, this time to Amy on the left and Heather on the right.
The monitors cut to static and the camera panned out to show Chris sitting in the room. "Find out the answers right now, on Total Drama Action!"
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The episode began with a shot of the early morning sky. Snoring could be heard as the camera zoomed in on the boys' trailer then flashed inside.
Mike was laying on a bottom bunk and talking to himself and his personalities. "I've had it with you punks!" Chester yelled. "Practice makes perfect ten, hi-ya!" Svetlana said. "You're all going down!" Vito declared. "Can it, mates! I'm busy!" Manitoba grunted.
A trumpet was heard playing and Mike shot up. "Keep it down you guys!"
"Mike," Noah said calmly from his top bunk, "tell your personalities to stop keeping us awake when we're sleeping."
Across the room, Rodney sighed. "Early to bed, early to rise is pointless if they wake us up like this."
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The camera flashed to the outside of the girls' trailer. Amy stormed out with a scowl. "If he wanted to wake us up with a trumpet, he could've at least played Reveille," she declared.
"Brick would've enjoyed that if he was here," Courtney sighed as she and the rest of the girls stepped out.
Another trumpet sounded and the camera cut to Chris playing a trombone for some reason. The camera zoomed out to show him in a stereotypical marching band hat, and a bass drum and cymbal on his back that would play whenever he took a step. "Morning sports fans!" He called happily as the camera cut to him walking up to the cast. "Who's ready to put up a good offense?"
"Spaghetti here!" a familiar voice called out from behind the host, the shot pulling back again as Chef walked up to the cast. "Get your pipin' hot spaghetti here!" He was dressed as a food vendor and serving balls of spaghetti topped with sauce.
Chef smirked, then began pitching them at the cast; first Lindsay, who was hit in the stomach as Heather and Courtney got hit with spaghetti; then Amy who was struck in the chest but managed to catch it on the rebound; followed by Mike and Rodney who easily caught a couple each; and finally Noah, who was unable to dodge in time and was knocked down by a ball of noodles.
"What is going on here?" Noah asked the host.
"This is breakfast," Chris told them all.
"Pasta for brekkie?" Lindsay asked in disbelief as the contestants started slurping on their noodles.
"It's called carbo-loading, contestants," Chris explained, leaning towards the girl. "Today, you're all going to give 200%," he turned to Shawn and Amy, "in our exciting sports movie challenge!"
"Two hundred percent is a mathematical impossibility," Noah commented, earning himself a noodle ball to the face.
"Suck that 'ghetti back you lovable underdogs, destined to come back from certain failure!" Chris told the cast as he began to walk away. "We've got a training run!"
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The camera flashed to close ups of serveal pairs of shoes. The tired huffs of their owners could be heard. The camera panned out to show Lindsay in the lead, followed by Amy, Shawn, Courtney, Heather, Rodney, Mike, and Noah bringing up the rear.
"That all you got, sports fans?" Chris called to them before they were shown to have stopped, everyone trying to catch their breath. "Man up! It's time for more action!"
"Three cups of spaghetti followed by a 3k jog?" Shawn asked. "I'd rather die right now." He collapsed onto the ground and sat back up in surprise. "What is this? Plastic lawn?"
"Astro-turf," Chris answered. "Hello? It's a set?" The camera pulled back to show a stadium seating and press box backdrop. "Today's competition is gonna require sweat, guts, heart, and sweat."
"You said 'sweat' twice," Heather pointed out.
"That's 'cause it's not just your sweat you'll be dealing with," Chris answered. "There's Eva's sweat too!" He gestured to the muscle girl, who was doing jumping jacks while wearing an old-timey football jersey and helmet.
"Cause you'll be pushing her the length of the field," Chris explained. "And, she just ate a huge jar of jalapeno peppers, so she's sprayin' like a gym class shower."
"We have to push a spiced up Eva like a football dummy?" Rodney asked.
"Don't call me a dummy," Eva warned.
"Uh, I am not swapping sweat with a raging psycho!" Heather declared.
"You're taking it for the team," Amy told her. "Quit being a nag and help push that dummy."
"WHAT DID I JUST SAY?!" Eva yelled.
"You can do this one without me," Heather said simply.
"I'm on Amy's side with this one," Rodney said, much to the queen bee's shock. "You're doing it."
Confessional: Rodney
"I'll admit that Heather is attractive," Rodney told the confessional, "but we're gonna need all the help we can get!"
Confessional Ends
Chris blew a whistle and the four Grips tried to push Eva, to no avail.
"That all ya got?" Eva boredly asked. "I can push better than that even when I'm sleeping!"
"You just watch me!" Amy yelled before standing back and spiking Eva with her hand... sending her all the way across the set with an off-screen crash.
Confessional: Amy
"All my years of volleyball have given me a mean swing," Amy confidently explained. "I don't use it unless someone really ticks me off."
Confessional Ends
The camera flashed to a group of tires that had been set up at the other end of the field. The Gaffers ran towards them, with Courtney in the lead followed by Shawn, Mike, and Noah; they seemed to have no trouble, but the camera soon pulled back to show that each tire had gotten stuck around one of their feet.
"These are not normal tires!" Mike cried as he and his teammates tried to shake them off.
"I can't get my feet out," Shawn said.
"Aww, really? I'm sorry!" Chris told them mockingly as he walked up before telling the camera "Wait 'til they get a load of the mouse traps!" Moments later, a series of snaps came from inside the tires and the Gaffers cried in pain as they tried to jump away from the traps. "Snap to it, losers!" the host told them with a grin.
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The footage skipped forward yet again, now showing Heather as she crawled through a mud pit, and nervous looking at the barbed wire strung above her. Noah and Shawn followed after her, and Courtney and Rodney after them. "I have never seen our school football team doing this!" Courtney said alongside the grunts and groans of her fellow cast members.
"You're right," Chris told her as the camera cut out to show all eight crawling through the pit while the host watched from the other end. "But we had some mud and barbed wire left over from the war movie, and it just seemed fun to me!" He smiled as the camera came in for a close-up. "Is it?"
Everyone groaned in frustration or exhaustion.
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"That really sucked," a mud splattered Amy complained as the camera panned up over her.
"Who won anyway?" asked an equally muddy Courtney.
"Let's see. Uh, three, carry the five," Chris told the contestants, "nobody!"
All eightcastmates gaped with shock, and yelled "Huh?!" simultaneously.
"It was just to establish who's playing who for the real contest to follow," Chris explained before motioning over to a large screen nearby that was divided into four section with each depicting a stick figure that was punching on yellow background; swinging a racket on blue; wrestling with another figure on red; and throwing a ball on green.
"We're running four sporto contests," the host continued, "with competitors seeded according to these results." The four-way split disappeared, replaced by two columns of contestants' pictures divided into teams, which disappeared again and reappeared in the following order: Amy and Mike on top; Courtney and Heather second; Rodney and Shawn third; and Lindsay and Noah on the bottom.
"Seeded? There's a gardening challenge?" Lindsay piped up.
Confessional: Lindsay
"Okay, so he meant like sport seeding. I knew that," Lindsay said to the viewers. "But if there was a gardening challenge, I would seriously kick butt. I mean, nobody can even touch my tomatoes!" She blinked in realization over what she just said.
Confessional Ends
The footage skipped ahead to a close-up of a hanging microphone which was promptly grabbed by the host, causing a small amount of feedback. He was revealed to be standing in the middle of a boxing ring wearing a referee's uniform as the camera panned down, and quickly began to speak.
"In the right corner-ner-ner-ner," Chris announced, adding his own echo, "from the Killers Grips-ips-ips-ips! The blonde bombshell, the lye, the Lollapalooza! The Blue-Eyed Bruiser, LINNNDDDSSAAYY!" The crowd went wild as the camera panned to the corner behind the host, where Lindsay was on a stool in the ring with a smile on her face.
"And in the left corner-ner-ner-ner," Chris announced, pointing in front of him, "from the Screaming Gaffers-ers-ers-ers! The scrawny shrimp, the brainy bookworm, the lazy leech!"
The camera cut to Noah hanging on to the ropes on the left side. "He's definitely calling me out," Noah told his teammates.
"NNNNOOOOAAAAAHHHHH!" Chris finally announced, the crowd going wild again.
"So why are we first?" Noah asked.
"You and Lindsay came in last in the football drills. Loser vs. Loser." Chris looked over at the dumb blonde, who frowned at him. "We're going to build to the top two players."
"Then I'm gonna need gloves," Noah replied and held up his hands. A pair of large, white, rectangles were quickly placed on them, causing her to look at them in confusion. "Are these... marshmallows?"
"Props," Chris answered. "So you don't hurt those pretty actor faces. And in true boxing movie tradition, you'll be fighting in," the camera zoomed in as he said with exaggerated slowness, "slllooowww moootttionnn."
Lindsay gave her team a blank and confused look, while Noah simply stepped into the ring without a word.
The bell rang, Chris was pulled up and out of the ring by the hanging microphone, and the two opponents approached and began to circle with a strange eagerness.
"Preeepare," Noah said slowly, "to goooo ddoowwnn." He gave a slow jab to Lindsay's face, but the Grip just side stepped it.
"Take that!" Lindsay punched Noah in the face. The schemer slowly backed away with an exaggerated grunt of pain.
"He's surprisingly good at that," Shawn commented as the camera cut to the non competing Gaffers.
"Mike's acting skills may have rubbed off on him," Courtney commented.
Noah slowly threw a punch at Lindsay's face, prompting her to take a bite out of his marshmallow fist.
"Don't eat the marshmallow!" Rodney called out. "Block it!"
"As always, Lindsay's good at being useless," Heather scoffed.
Amy heard this and immediately shot daggers at the girl. "She's trying her best out there. You could at least give her some credit."
"Well as soon as she starts succeeding in challenges, I'll lay off. And is that happening right now?" Heather smirked mockingly at the volleyball player.
Confessional: Amy
"I am at my breaking point here," Amy stressed out. "What she doesn't know is that I have the power to leave her."
Confessional Ends
The bell rang again and the two fighters went back to their corners as Chris descended back into the ring. "Round Two-oo-oo-oo!" he announced as Chef walked across the ring holding a placard above his head with the number 2 on it while wearing a small purple bikini.
"Ew is more like it," Mike said as he, Shawn, and Courtney watched with varying degrees of disgust.
"Y'all are just jealous," Chef said simply as he strutted around.
The fight started again. Noah took several more swings at Lindsay in slow motion, but the blonde dodged them all.
"Stop dodging and hit her already!" Heather ordered.
Lindsay swiftly struck Noah in the face. The suddenness of the hit caused him to fall down to the mat with a sound like an anvil being struck, and the host quickly appeared at his side.
"One!" Chris called out. "Two! Three!"
"Get up already!" Courtney yelled.
"Four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten!" Chris counted off quickly before the fallen schemer could recover. "And the winner is-is-is-is," he announced, "Noah, and the Screaming Gaffers!" He held up the fallen boy's right arm and the camera cut to the rest of the Gaffers cheering.
"But I knocked him out," Lindsay complained.
"He scored a bunch of extra points for doing such great slow-motion," Chris agreed. "But if you recall, I said to fight in slow motion," he explained. "And I had to dock you for biting. Very unsportsmanlike."
"This was fixed! Ref's going down!" Lindsay spat and had to be held back by her team.
"Don't do this," Rodney warned her.
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The camera flashed to a close-up of a racket which quickly zoomed out to show it in Rodney's hands as he gave it a few test swings. "What are we gonna do with a racket? Whack a couple of moles?" he asked as the shot zoomed out again to show him and the other contestants standing on the sidelines of what looked like a tennis court with the net raised up off the ground.
"This is a badminton court Rodney," Chris answered as he approached the teens.
"I don't 'member any movies about badminton," Rodney scoffed. "That would be boring."
"There was a movie about badminton," Chris retorted. "It was very un-boring! And it starred the very talented... me."
The cast gave him blank looks.
"Thanks for asking," he continued even though no one said anything. "I'd love to recreate my finest scene."
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"I just want you to know," Chris began dramatically, swinging the racquet around to emphasize his words, "you guys are the best darn badminton players I've had the pleasure of coaching!" The camera panned across the castmates, everyone looking bored and unimpressed.
"You're beacons of freedom!" the actor-turned-host continued as Chef walked up behind him with a sad look on his face. "Go show the Olympic committee we deserve a shot! Show them it's not badminton, it's goodminton! Heck, it's greatminton! Now get out there and win one for the Flipper!"
The camera focused in on Chef as a tear came to his eye and his lips trembled.
Confessional: Chef
"Why couldn't the Olympic Committee just give the Flipper a break?" Chef asked the confessional camera as he fought to hold his tears back. "It was his big dream!" He finished with a cry and a snort.
Confessional Ends
Chris adjusted a cap he'd put on, then smiled at the camera. "Battling for supremacy in our second round," he announced as the shot pulled back to show the two contestants already on the court and their teammates in the stands behind him, "Rodney and Shawn!"
"Me against him?" Shawn asked. "Okay!"
The country boy gave an uncertain grimace from his side of the court. "Watch the birdie!" Chris called before tossing a small plush bird to Rodney.
"Feathers are about to fly," Shawn bragged.
"You got this Rodney!" Heather cheered, making Amy glare at her.
Rodney threw the bird and severed it as it came down.. only to mess up his swing after being startled by it squeaking. "We're hitting a real life bird?" He cried.
"It's stuffed," Chris told him as he walked over and picked the birdie up. "With a squeaker?" he tossed it lightly in his hand, making it squeak again. "That okay, chicken little?" Rodney nodded, and Chris walked away. "Serve to Shawn!"
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Shawn served the birdie and Rodney missed it by a considerable margin.
"Bring it Shawn!" Courtney cheered. "Show no mercy!"
Rodney narrowed his eyes, and returned Shawn's next serve. The two hit the birdie between them for a few moments.
Courtney turned to her teammates and said, "Help cheer him on, guys."
"Keep hitting that bird!" Mike encouraged.
"His chances of winning are as unlikely as getting a girl to like him," Noah smirked.
Pushed by these taunts, Rodney brought his game on and a montage of him returning shots was shown. The final clip was him hitting the birdie with so much force that it actually burned a hole in Shawn's racket when he tried to return the shot, shocking the theorist as he stared through the hole with wide eyes.
"We have a winner!" Chris announced as the female Grips began to cheer. "Now that's some greatminton!" Chris said as he watched Rodney walk up to his team with a grin on his face and the four celebrated.
"Great job on that badminton, Rodney," Lindsay complimented.
"That was really smooth of you," Heather hugged Rodney's arm.
"It was no hassle," Rodney shrugged.
"You all have a halftime break!" Chris announced while leaving. "I'll let you know when the next challenge starts!"
As everyone went their separate ways, Heather noticed Amy's forlorn expression. "What's your problem?"
"My problem is that you act all sweet when we accomplish something, yet you still remain a total witch at all times," Amy said.
"Like you're any better," Heather said. "You've had a hate boner for Beth during the first couple of days and you're just as eager to win as me."
"I admit that's true, but at least I don't go around injuring people just to do so," Amy remarked. "I saw what you did to Noah's ankle."
"Who's going to believe you about that?" Heather taunted. "Nobody else saw that I did it."
"I won't tell anyone about that, but I will tell you something," Amy started to leave. "You and I are no longer in an alliance!"
"Fine," Heather growled. "Let the chips fall where they may."
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(Commercial break)
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The episode returned to a shot of Lindsay sitting in front of her trailer painting her fingernails. Just as she finished, she saw Heather coming up to her.
"Hey Heather," Lindsay waved. "Are you interested in a manicure?"
"No, but I do want to tell you something," Heather said.
"Oh? What is it?" Lindsay asked with a raised eyebrow.
Heather pulled out her walkie talkie. "You should listen to this. It'll jog up your memory."
She played the part about Amy talking about Beth tricking her team.
"I remember that! I can't believe how sketchy she was," Lindsay said. "Amy's made the right call looking out for me."
"I should stop you there," Heather halted. "Amy told me that she lied about the situation just to turn you against Beth."
"What?! Why would Amy do that? We're friends!" Lindsay asked in shock but there was clear anger in her voice. "And why should I believe you?"
"She chose to join in an alliance with me!" Heather explained. "She really is determined."
Lindsay was mind blown. "No way would Amy willingly partner up with you. You're lying!"
"Oh am I?" Heather smirked mischievously. "Why else would she pick to eliminate Duncan over me?"
Lindsay tried to speak back, but stopped by her words.
"Seems your best friend isn't as loyal as you think she is," Heather said.
"So all this time, she was lying to me?" Lindsay grew mad. "And she told me that I needed to grow a backbone. That hypocrite!!!"
"I'm sorry it came that way," Heather faux sympathized with the blonde.
"I'm still not gonna work with you, but when the time comes, I'm ending it off with Amy," Lindsay entered the trailer and slammed the door shut.
After seeing Lindsay leave, Heather deviously smiled at her plan. "That'll teach that volleyball twerp not to cross me."
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The footage flashed forward to the castmates sitting on wooden bleachers inside another studio, separated by team with Gaffers on the left and Grips on the right.
"You do know that you have to face Heather this round," Shawn told Courtney.
"I won't have any problem going up against her," Courtney said. "She's practically weak."
"I can hear you, you know," Heather shot back.
"She's just stating a fact," Amy joked around. She turned to Lindsay, who in turn huffed and looked the opposite direction, confusing the volleyball captain.
"SILENCE!" Chris shouted in a dramatic voice, gaining the attention of the teens. He was dressed in nothing but a toga and a head wreath, standing in a chariot being pulled by a helmeted Chef Hatchet. "The score is one to one! And now... second seat Heather will attempt to brrreak the tie," he rolled his 'r's harshly as the chariot came to a halt in front of the bleachers, "competing in Grrrreco-Rrrrroman wrrrrestling with," the camera panned to follow his handwave, revealing that they were in front of the same ring that had been used for the boxing match, "Courtney!" He completely dropped the voice to announce the competing Gaffer.
Confessional: Shawn
"Heather versus Courtney?" Shawn asked the confessional in excitement. "Can someone bring some popcorn and soda?"
Confessional Ends
The footage skipped ahead to Courtney stretching in her swimsuit in the left corner of the ring, flashing an eager smile to her opponent. The camera panned over to Heather, also in her swimsuit but glaring at her opponent.
"Just compete," Heather whispered to herself repeatedly before the shot panned over to Chris, who smiled impishly and pulled a rope that was hanging next to him.
The camera zoomed out as a high-walled glass box filled with colorful plastic balls was dropped into the ring on top of the contestants, a few balls scattering on the floor with the impact. The castmates on the stands looked shocked and surprised, and Heather popped back up completely confused, spitting one of the balls out of her mouth.
"Wait a second. I have to wrestle Courtney in a kiddie ball pit?" she asked with disbelief after wiping her mouth with the back of her arm.
"Ew!" Courtney cried, surfacing nearby. "How long since these things have been washed?"
"Never," Chris answered with a smile. "We got 'em from a local carnival. A really cheap, skeevy one," he added with a smug look sent her way. "Now play ball!" He picked up a large curved brass horn and blew a few notes to signal the start of the match.
Courtney and Heather fell under the balls. They resurfaced with Courtney on Heather's back.
"What's the matter, queen?" Courtney mocked the girl. "Can't swim?"
Heather saw a blue fin and was immediately freaked out. "SHARK!!!"
Courtney pulled out the fin to reveal a diaper. "Ooh! The big bad diaper shark! Yeah right!" They dived into the balls while the spectators laughed at the scene.
Heather and Courtney came back up. "I am going to remind you why you are, and always will be, a chicken."
Finally having enough, Courtney kicked Heather in the stomach, causing her to fly back. The spectators looked on in anticipation and excitement.
Courtney pinned Heather down. "Nice try, but it's my turn." Heather shoved Courtney off her and tackled her into the pit, making everyone gasp.
"What's under here anyway? A daycare center?" Heather got back up with a baby bottle and a toddler.
"Mama?" the toddler cried out, causing Chef to swoop in and pick him up.
Using the distraction, Courtney held Heather in a headlock. "Uncle! Uncle!" Heather piped out.
"And we have a winner!" Chris announced. The Gaffers cheered at their win.
"In your face, Heather. I am the world champion ball wrestler!" Courtney looked down on her rival.
Confessional: Noah
"Courtney's a dictator," Noah confessed, "but seeing her demolish Heather makes me feel a bit of respect towards her." He paused for a while. "An 8-bit."
Confessional Ends
The camera cut to a close-up of a smiling Chris walking across the football field used earlier in the episode. "So, as we head to the fourth and final leg of the Total Drama sports tourney, the Gaffers are ahead two to one."
"Final face-off?" the host said as the shot pulled out, revealing that a small basketball court, net, and slanted trampoline had been set up. "A slam dunk competition. With points going to the most creative dunk. Let's play it for the camera! It's..." he said, passing a basketball across the court to Mike, who caught it and gave his opponent a look, "Amy and Mike!"
Shawn and Courtney were shown cheering, with Noah next to them clapping enthusiastically and Mike holding a basketball and looking confident. The shot panned over to Amy, also smiling confidently. Among the Grips, Rodney was the only one to cheer for their teammate while Lindsay and Heather showed no support.
"Go Amy go!" Rodney cheered on.
Confessional: Amy
"I get Heather not supporting me," Amy said, "but Lindsay? That seems way off to me. She's like my number one cheerleader."
Confessional Ends
The camera cut back to the court, Mike standing at the left side of the center circle facing the trampoline and basket on the right, with Amy and Chris standing in the front right corner and the other six contestants along the far side of the court.
"Don't worry, Gaffers," Mike told his team. "I know what to do here."
"What's your plan exactly?" Shawn wondered.
"I'm going to need Vito for this one!" Mike took his shirt off and transformed into his alter.
"Are we playin' basketball?" Vito looked around with his hands on his hips.
"Where do you think we are?" Noah deadpanned. "On the soccer field?"
"Get the ball into the basket," Courtney demanded.
"Yo Chris," Vito said. "Pass the ball to me when I'm in the air." He grabbed the ball and passed it to the host, who accepted with a shug.
"I call this, The Vito Jump Attack," Vito announced as he ran to the trampoline. He jumped on it and went up in the air in a hawk position, catching the ball with his hands and then dunking it into the hoop. He landed with a smile as his team cheered.
"That was cool," Amy said sincerely. "But you will still lose."
Confessional: Amy
"I'm not a basketball player, but I can use my volleyball skills to help make a dunk," Amy brought up. "Chris wants creativity for this occasion."
Confessional Ends
It was Amy's turn at the center circle, already dribbling with a smile on her face. "I call my dunk The Spike Fright."
Amy dribbled hard a few times then ran down the court. She jumped and shot the ball downwards, the ball on the right half as it bounced sharply off the floor. Meanwhile, Amy fell back down, landed on the trampoline and bounced again, doing three somersaults as her ball shot up. As soon as she saw the ball, she held her hands together and spiked it through the net.
She landed safely, and the ball bounced off the court as she smirked to the others. "Point to Amy and the Grips!" Chris declared as both sidelined teams stood in stunned silence. "Prepare," the host said swiftly, "for the Ultimate Extreme Sports Tiebreaker!"
All eight teens looked wary at the announcement.
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The scene flashed over to a jumbo screen set up by some fake buildings, the host appearing on it immediately. "Get ready for the battle of battles," Chris announced, "the grudge match the world has been waiting for!" He slid off the screen to the right, only to slide back in from the left a moment later. "A competition so intense," he slid back to the left and reappeared from above, "so grueling," he slid back up, then popped in closer to the screen, "so..."
"So what is it already?" Amy asked impatiently.
Chris blinked on the screen, which soon cut to static. The viewpoint shifted to a distance shot of the football field, now without any additional courts on it, as the host drove up in a golf cart holding several things of a distinctly pink color.
"Pom poms?" Courtney asked in disbelief.
"Are there gonna be any cheerleaders coming here today?" Rodney asked excitedly, then turned serious after noticing looks from everybody. "You know? To support us?"
"The only cheering will be done by you and your team," Chris told him with his trademark grin. "Each team's gotta dig deep and create a cheer for someone they think deserves cheering."
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The scene flashed again, showing the Grips in a huddle with Heather and Lindsay doing most of the talking. The camera panned over to the Gaffers in a similar situation, and cut to a viewpoint looking up at them from inside their circle.
"We should cheer for Bill Murray!" Shawn suggested.
"Bill Murray?" Courtney wondered.
"He's the one who played Peter Venkman from Ghostbusters," Shawn summarized.
"He is cool, but I don't think Chris would care about anyone from the past," Mike said.
"Courtney has some cheerleader abilities," Noah replied. "Let her decide."
Courtney gave a flustered look. "I didn't organize a cheer just yet."
"So what do we do?" Shawn looked at the Grips. "They're working on how to whoop our butts."
Chris stepped towards them. "Time!" he called, getting their attention and breaking their huddle with a shake of his pompoms. "Gaffers up!"
"You see, we're not exactly ready," Mike admitted.
Courtney took a deep breath and stepped forward, taking the pompoms out of Chris's hands while a marching band drumline began in the background.
"Heather, Heather, queen of mean! She's got nice hair for a grooving teen!" She chanted while gesturing to the queen bee after doing a cartwheel.
"Lindsay and Rodney are ignorant, but you know they're very benevolent!" She hugged the two, causing them to be happy. A pink-and-purple heart shape took over the screen, but it soon disappeared.
"Shawn, Shawn, king of scares! He needs more rest, but he always prepares!" She patted the boy on his back.
"Noah and Amy, quite a pair! He's brainy, she's brawny, but they both have flair!" She wrapped her arms around them as she chanted.
"And Mike is cool! I'm not gonna lie! He overcame his fear and he's a really funny guy!" She chanted next to him, causing him to grin cheerfully.
"GO GAFFERS!" Courtney cheered one last time as she did a handspring into a backflip. She landed perfectly in front of everybody as the drumline ended.
"Nice job," Mike told her. "I can tell you were being sincere."
Noah chuckled. "I'd like to see the Grips beat that."
Confessional: Amy
"What we're about to perform is something that'll make me want to rather get locked inside a vault for two days," Amy shuddered, "but it'll guarantee us the win."
Confessional Ends
"Chris Chris Chris Chris!" Amy, Lindsay, Heather, and Rodney rose up.
"Chris Chris Chris Chris!" The Gaffers were grabbed by the Grips.
"Chris Chris Chris Chris Chris Chris Chris!" The four Gaffers were crouched down while Lindsay, Heather, and Rodney stood on top of them.
"CHHHRRRRIIIIISSSSS!" They all chanted as Amy jumped to the top before they all presented a huge poster of Chris relaxing.
"Amazing!" Chris gushed with glee. "The performances, the artistry, the incredible kissing up!" he told the Grips. "We have the winners! Losers," his face fell into a disappointed frown, "I'll see you in the theater!" He left the Grips to cheer.
The camera cut to the Gaffers as they sighed in defeat.
Confessional: Mike/Noah
Both Mike and Noah were inside the confessional. "Why are we here again?" the former asked his friend.
"Shawn or Courtney may try to spy on us," Noah explained, "and nobody's allowed to purposely eavesdrop on the contestants when they're inside this room."
"Okay. I got it," Mike nodded.
"I'm calling in a favor from you," Noah said. "I want someone gone, and you can't complain about it."
"You did help me with my DID," Mike admitted, "so I'll vote for whoever you want. No questions asked."
Confessional Ends
[A grand theme played as the camera zoomed in on the amphitheatre. Several film strips of the host highlights from the previous season flew past the screen, then the camera panne dout from a solid gold screen to show a Guilded Chris.]
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The host and assistant were already on stage when the introduction ended, with Chef in his formal pink dress. "So, the Gaffers lose it again!" Chris said as the shot cut the four teens casting their votes. "Must be tough, especially with your own teammate failing to win that tiebreaker!"
"It's not my fault you're unbelievably self-centered!" Courtney scolded the host.
"Mike, maybe if you'd done better in the slam dunk challenge and not relied on your characters, we wouldn't be here right now," Chris said.
"How could I have topped Amy," Mike defended. "She's almost as athletic as Sky."
"Then there's Shawn," Chris continued, "who simply blew the badminton part!"
"I never knew Rodney could be pushed," Shawn replied matter-of-factly.
"Noah, you were the only one that didn't mess up today," Chris declared.
"That was to be expected," Noah said.
"Nobody wants to hear it," Chris interrupted. "Just take the statue." He tossed him a statue and he caught it. "Suckminton," another statue landed in Shawn's hand, "you're safe too."
The focus moved over to the podium as Chris turned a solemn look over to Chef, who had one award left in his hands. The bottom two Gaffers were shown giving the camera nervous looks.
"Well this is interesting," Chris commented.
The two leaned forward in their seats with nervous expressions.
"What is?" Courtney asked with a voice matching her teammates' faces.
"It seems..." Mike and Courtney leaned forward even more. "We have a tie!"
"WHAT!?" the Gaffers balked.
"Mike, you voted with me, right?" Noah double checked.
"Of course I did, Noah," Mike responded.
"You two had the same idea as us," Shawn said before focusing on the host. "What's the tiebreaker gonna be?"
Chris laughed menacingly. "Raise your hand if you won against a Grip today."
Courtney and Noah's hands went up in satisfaction.
"And who lost against a Grip?" Chris wickedly pondered.
Seeing what he was doing, Mike and Shawn raised their hand.
"The winner stays for another day and the loser doesn't," Chris made clear, "and since Mike received two votes and lost against Amy, it's time for him to go!"
The camera followed the award as it sailed through the air and landed in Courtney's hand.
"Why am I leaving like this?" Mike asked, clearly stunned.
"I just want the episode to end," Chris said, "so I came up with this tiebreaker on the fly."
"Like I said before, you're cool, but you did lose your part," Courtney sadly claimed, "and between you and Shawn, I had to stick to my alliance."
"Same here," Shawn joined in. "We couldn't find any reason to vote for Noah today."
"I understand why you did what you did," Mike accepted their reasons, "and I can leave knowing that I don't have to hide anything from anyone going forward. Thanks, everybody."
Confessional: Noah
"Me and Mike voted for Courtney," Noah let out. "She didn't lose her match, but I would have rather kept a stronger and smarter player like Shawn."
Confessional Ends
Mike strolled through the Walk of Shame with Noah. "How do you feel about being eliminated like this?"
"I don't mind," Mike shrugged. "Chris's decision wasn't biased, and I'm just glad nobody's ostracized me for my disorder."
He entered the limo. "Tell everyone that Manitoba Smith, Vito, Svetlana, and Chester said goodbye," he concluded before closing the door and allowing the limo to drive off.
Noah was surprised by his line, but he shrugged with acceptance and went back to his team.
\
"Wow! Mike leaving was a woozy!" Chris laughed as the scene cut to him in the boxing/wrestling ring as he raised his boxing glove clad fists. "How's that for a dramatic sucker punch?" He threw a few test jabs in the direction of Chef, who was back in his normal clothes and wearing a pair of dark pink boxing gloves.
"Will Amy be put in the doghouse by Lindsay? Will Noah be able to hold his own against Courtney and Shawn?" he asked while continuing to punch the air as he worked his way around an unimpressed Chef. "Am I gonna knock my big ol' assistant out with my killer uppercut?!"
He was swiftly answered by a hammering fist that knocked the pretty boy host off his feet. "Find out next time," he said as he got back to his feet and Chef walked away, "here, on Total! Drama! Action!"
(Roll the credits)
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(Bonus Clip)
"And with that, I'm out of the game," Mike said in the Lame-osine. "It was good to be more than just Sky's best friend for a change, and I can't wait to get back home. I want to start an acting career, and I'll be making sure to check with my doctor on how to control my DID if I want to act. My characters may interfere with a scene, so I'm just playing it safe first. One tip for stand up actors, no knock knock jokes!"
Author's Note: One of my biggest mistakes when rewriting the Switched series at first was making Mal a villain. Now that I decided to extend Mike's arc a bit to this season, I could wait to bring in the Malevolent One. He had to go here because as we all know, Mal will be coming eventually, plus I ran out of plot for him.
16th/15th: Harold
16th/15th: Dawn
14th: Lightning
13th: Sky
12th: Jo
11th: Beth
10th: Brick
9th: Duncan
8th: Mike