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All The Coffee In The World.
The leather of Abby's seat was warm underneath her. It was a creamy colour, with wooden armrests covered in grey suede. The usual paraphernalia of headphone jacks and channel switches adorned the side of it, sitting just above her leg. The idea of the SecNav plugging in to Placebo made her laugh, but she quickly swallowed the sound before it escaped her mouth. Not only was she not in the mood for laughing, she felt she'd done quite enough of it by herself for the week already.
She drummed her fingers on the armrest uneasily. The others had gone back to Mr. and Mrs. Todd's house after the funeral, but she'd quietly excused herself. Not knowing what to do, she'd wound up back at the private airport. After a quick inspection of the plane's mechanics, she'd nestled into a recliner at the back, the only indication of the passing time, the changing feel of the seat underneath her as it went from cool and smooth to warm and slightly sticky.
Bringing her legs up underneath her, she leant against the curved wall of the plane and looked out the small square window. The tarmac was huge, and that excluded the runway space. Coming from a town where each family was part of a community carpool, the notion of having a private jet completely blew her away. Sighing, she brought her gaze back into the plane.
Only to discover Gibbs had sat down next to her. She flinched in shock, but as always managed to reign in the jump that threatened every time he snuck up on her.
She forced a high wattage smile to her lips. "Gibbs! You scared me!"
Gibbs chuckled, but it was a sad sound.
"I thought you went back to Kate's house with Tony and the guys. That Madame Director, too. Still haven't quite figured who she is though."
Gibbs seemed thoroughly engrossed in the seat in front of him.
She twisted around to curl up on her other side, resting her cheek on the backrest to face him.
"You alright?"
He turned to face her. "You ever been shot at before, Abby?"
She was silent for a minute, struck by the randomness of his question. Well, it wasn't random in the context of the past week, but for their current conversation in the plane it came out of nowhere. "Which answer would you prefer?"
"Whichever one's the truth."
"I told Tony I hadn't."
"What are you going to tell me?"
Sighing, she mulled over her words. "Yeah, I have. Twice. Once by the wife of a guy I put in jail, once by an old boyfriend."
He turned to look at her. "I think I would have preferred the lie." His expression said otherwise though; as if he was somehow perversely relieved that he wasn't the reason she'd been shot at for the first time.
"You don't have to worry about me, you know."
He laughed, as if she being ridiculous.
She uncurled a leg from underneath her and reached out to poke him on the ankle with it. "Really. You shouldn't feel bad."
"He would have killed you. To get to me. Just like he killed Kate."
"Well, he didn't kill me." Only your agent. My friend.
There was silence, as Abby studied Gibbs and Gibbs studied the seat in front of him.
"Three."
Abby frowned. "What?"
"You've been shot at three times, now. Not two."
Unsure how to make him feel better, she shuffled forward and rested her cheek on his arm. "Well, there's a big happy Grand Canyon of a difference between being shot at and being shot."
"Would you have forgiven me if he'd hurt you?"
"No."
He looked defeated as he closed his eyes slowly.
Abby curled her arms around his, hugging his elbow to her chest. "Because there'd be nothing to forgive. It's hardly your fault if someone decides to try and kill your friends. Considering me your friend is nothing you should be forgiven for. It's great. It's what Ari decided to do with that friendship that we can never forgive him for."
"It doesn't feel that way."
Abby rolled her eyes. "Well of course not! You're broody boy mark two. You may not the have eternal life, fangs and dislike of sunlight that Angel does, but if we put flowers in your basement they'd die just as quickly as in his." She clicked her fingers.
Gibbs stared at her blankly. "I have no idea what you're talking about."
"Just consider it the words of an all knowing, higher being. You don't understand my pop culture references, so you just assume I know what I'm talking about. You don't know how to use my gas chromatograph, so you just leave it to me. Trust me on this whole guilt thing too, ok? Besides, you'd never hurt me."
"I might yet."
"Not physically."
Gibbs shook his head vehemently.
"Well, then, I'm sure you'll have your reasons."
"You have that much trust?"
She smiled at him and hugged his arm tighter. "Sure, because you're my friend, and Ari's dead."
After a while, Gibbs thought she'd fallen asleep. It had been a long time since anybody had napped against him in such an innocent way. After a minute though, she whispered groggily.
"Do you think it's possible to ever get too tired of missing so many people? There has to be a limit on how many people someone can miss before they just explode."
His mind flashed to Shannon and Kelly, who were still his little secret. To other wives that it just hadn't worked out with. To his parents. To Kate. To men he'd lost at war. To those few minutes when he'd thought that Abby lay dead in her lab.
"Who do you miss?"
Abby just laughed softly, and it was clear she wasn't going to answer. That was alright, the time wasn't right for either of them. "That's probably how I'll hurt you one day."
Gibbs sighed. "It's probably how I'll hurt you too."
She rubbed her cheek against his suit, trying to get comfortable. "Well, I'm sure I'll understand and as long as you don't do it intentionally or maliciously, it'll be fine. Life's full of hurt, because that's just the way things go. You know what I was saying about the guilt thing? Kate won't forgive you, because I'd bet you all the coffee in the world that she's not angry with you in the first place."
He chuckled. "All the coffee in the world?"
Abby didn't reply, because she'd fallen asleep, her cheek on his shoulder and her hands curled around his arm. He was warmed by the fact that she felt comfortable enough to do so, calmed and consoled by her confidence that he had never let her down and that he'd always take care of her. He would.
What good was all the coffee in the world if there was nobody to share it with?
