It was almost here, finally here. The day he had almost given up on. At the beginning of his inadvertent exile he had been sure that the whole ordeal was just a small set back, that the fixing of his traveler's locket would be but a trifle and all he needed was to get hold of the proper tools. And then he had realized what a backwater of a world he had ended up in. Not to mention these humans that populated the place, such savages, little better than cattle. Save for one of course.

If he were asked what it was about Daniel that had captivated him so, he would be hard pressed to put it into words. There was a grace to the young man, an elegance of spirit that the rest of his kind seemed to lack. Alexander could have spent days wandering through his mind, brushing through the memories, letting the very essence of him wash over his own mind. That child-like spirit, wounded and fragile, was the most intoxicating thing that he had ever encountered. And the most miraculous thing of all, the young scholar had been just as taken with him. Even if he was in denial about it now.

Ah, well. Daniel would come around. Time would heal these recent wounds. Time and a great deal of spoiling from Alexander, something he was quite looking forward to. After tucking Daniel in for the night and dozing off entwined around him, he had found his spirits renewed. The only thing that could have pried him from the sight of a sleeping Daniel, half undressed and snuggled against him, was the pressing manner of making sure the gate was ready. He had spent the morning laboring over the runes and sigils in his inner sanctum. When his eyes had begun to cross from the strain he decided a small treat was in order. Breakfast with Daniel was just the thing he needed. He practically skipped up the stairs to Daniel's room. His hand closed on the handle and he opened the door to chaos itself.

The room looked as if Daniel had done his very best to imitate a whirlwind. "Daniel, what on Earth are you doing?"

"I can't find it!" Daniel called out from where he was crouched, clawing through papers that fallen to the floor. His voice was desperate, cracked as if he had been crying. "What have they done with it?"

"Who, Daniel? What are you looking for?" Alexander waded in, stepping over papers, books, furniture and drawers.

Daniel, having moved to rummage through the trunk he had brought with him from England, looked up. "My journal. I can't find my journal. Why would anyone want it?" Such desperation in his voice. This close the baron could tell that Daniel had been crying. There were wet trails on his cheeks and also blood on his mouth from where he had worried his lip.

Alexander took a handkerchief from his pocket and hauled Daniel to his feet. He protested, tried to fight and resume his frantic searching, but Alexander held firm. Finally Daniel quit his struggles and let the baron lead him to a chair that still remained upright and wasn't covered by too much debris. Daniel sat down hard, bouncing slightly and dislodging some bric-a-brack he had tossed on to it, inadvertently freeing up enough space for Alexander to perch on the arm.

Alexander turned the young man's face towards him, tsking as he dabbed at the blood that marred his face and then moving on to erase the evidence of tears. "The state of you." He scolded, but with no real vehemence in it.

"But my journal!"

"It's in my chambers. Do you not remember? You read me excerpts from it before we retired two nights ago. It's safe love, calm yourself."

"I need it!" Daniel clutched at his hand, distraught.

"And I shall fetch it for you as soon as I know you have calmed down."

Daniel closed his eyes and leaned back into the chair, visibly trying to gain control of himself.

Alexander put a hand on his arm. When Daniel did not react, did not try to pull away, he let it slide down until he could clasp the man's hand. "What initiated this little outburst then?"

He shrugged. "I wanted to read some of my old entries. My mind has become clouded of late, certain things aren't as clear as they once were. I wanted proof that they really happened maybe. Then when I could not find it…" He shrugged again, frowned.

"Do not fret yourself so, it will be all right. Your mind is just confused from the stress of your situation and the withdrawal from your tonics." Alexander kicked at an empty bottle of wine. "Though I see you've found suitable replacements for your laudanum."

"I need something. You can't expect me to face that…that thing's approach unsedated."

It was a fight that was quickly growing old and Alexander let it drop. "I'll go get your journal now. Do you wish to accompany me?"

Daniel shook his head, "No. I trust you."

Alexander smiled and leaned down to brush his lips over Daniel's brow. "Thank you for that. I'll be back as quick as I can. Do you have need of anything else?"

Daniel opened his mouth.

"That's not some form of narcotic or liquor?"

He closed it again.

Daniel fell on the well worn book as soon as Alexander held it out to him. He snatched it from the baron's hand, frantically leafing through the pages, eyes scanning the entries almost hungrily. Alexander shook his head and sat down once more on the arm of the chair. "Daniel come sit beside me. There is no need to pace the floor like one deranged."

Daniel flinched and Alexander instantly regretted his word choice. "Come sit beside me." He repeated, making his tone gentle.

Green eyes studied him as if trying to judge his intentions. He took his place beside the baron gingerly. Alexander put an arm around his shoulders. Daniel stiffened then relaxed against him. Alexander had to turn his head to hide his smile. "Read me something from it."

"I'd rather you read something, Alexander. You've the voice for reading."

"Give it here then."

"Something other than this!" Daniel clutched the book to his chest.

"There's nothing else around us, Daniel."

"Surely you have committed to memory some passages of your favorite works."

"I have some poems I could recite for your pleasure." He stroked Daniel's cheek, enjoying the feel of his shivering against him.

Daniel seemed to guess what sort of poems the baron had memorized and where the recitation of them might lead, for he quickly sprang to his feet. "It's fine. You need not trouble yourself. Besides, I have…things I must attend to."

"How intriguing. What sorts of things? To my recollection your tasks are finished. It is up to me now to make sure the last rites are accomplished. You need do nothing but rest."

"Things. I have to… Say goodbye I guess. To this world." He hugged the journal to him and looked so heart wrenchingly lost that the baron was on his feet and holding him in an instant.

"It won't be all that bad Daniel. My world is not that very different from yours, you'll see. You will grow used to it and quick." An idea struck him. "I could show you. You can look into my mind, my memories, and see for yourself what awaits you. Surely that would take some of the fear-"

"Stay out of my mind!" Daniel pushed him away. Alexander stumbled back, his hold on Daniel the only thing that kept him on his feet.

"Daniel." He couldn't keep the hurt from his voice.

"I can't… It's so chaotic, my thoughts. I do not want you privy to them, not right now. I am ashamed of the state I am in."

"You need be ashamed of nothing with me. You know that."

Daniel raised a shaking hand to his temple and shook his head. "I don't want you to see my doubts and petty fears. I am afraid they would hurt you and," He took a breath. "I would not wish that."

"You hurt me now." Alexander snapped.

Daniel winced. "I think… I think I should go lie down for a bit. I am overwrought and I…I seem to make things worse these days, either through my words or my deeds."

"You make nothing worse. You have undergone a lot of change and face even more upheaval. I do understand, just be open with me. Share your worries with me as you have done in the past. I can help."

But Daniel only shook his head and, refusing to meet his eyes, scurried back to his bedchamber.

Alexander stood alone in the wreck of a room, trying not to feel desolate. He had won. Daniel was now his and once they were home, the young man would return to his carefree ways, how he used to be. All he needed was time and distance from this nightmare of a world. He would heal and then everything would be perfect. Wouldn't it?

"I do not think it proper for us to sleep together anymore." Daniel said, seated at the edge of the bed, hands folded primly in his lap.

Alexander paused in the act of unbuttoning his shirt. "Truly? Would you care to enlighten me as to why?"

The young man shifted under his scrutiny, fussed with the folds of his nightshirt. "I just think it improper."

"We've shared a bed for weeks. You thought nothing improper of it then." He resumed divesting himself of his shirt, throwing it over the pile of clothing that was heaped in the corner of the room from Daniel's earlier episode.

"I did not know your intentions at the time."

"Do you honestly think that I will stand for separate quarters once we are home? After you've made me wait all this time? We will-"

"Hush…" Daniel tilted his head to the side, eyes distracted for a moment. "love. I meant no disrespect. I just want to…wait is all. I fear that our sharing a bed may lead to…too much temptation."

Alexander's annoyance had evaporated at the endearment. The smile he gave Daniel was playfully sinister. "Temptation is it? What does it matter if we give in? I think it an excellent way to settle both our nerves." He walked over to Daniel, a slight swagger to his gait enjoying the flush that was rising in Daniel's complexion. He leaned over, hands clasped behind his back, a strand of white hair brushing the other man's face. "I could help you to relax. I can be most…soothing, if you would only give me the opportunity to prove it."

Daniel batted at the hair in his face and fell back onto one arm. "I doubt that what you would inspire in me would be anything soothing."

"It would be a distraction." The baron put a knee upon the mattress and began to lean over the prone man. "A very pleasant one."

"I want to wait." He grabbed Alexander's forearms in an attempt to prevent the baron from crawling over him.

"For what, Daniel? Doomsday? You are putting off the inevitable, you do realize this, do you not?"

"Inevitable. Yes." He paused again, seeming to gather his thoughts. "I want our…our first…time to be in your world. Not here in this accursed place with that thing still hanging over our heads."

"It doesn't matter where or when, surely?"

"Please. I want nothing to taint this. No shadows or…Shadow to cloud it. I want it to be pure, happy. Can you understand?"

Alexander held his eyes for a moment, displeasure set in his mouth. Then he lowered his gaze, shoulders slumping in defeat. "It is an admirable sentiment."

"Thank you…love." Daniel hugged him. It was such a spontaneous, unguarded gesture of affection that the baron found the sting of being rejected softened.

"I still do not see why we must be apart. It is only one more night. Surely you can trust me to remain honorable for one more day."

Daniel didn't meet his eyes, traced over his collarbone with affected intentness. "Maybe it's not your honor that I distrust. My thoughts are so tumultuous; I might forget my own vows and seek comfort prematurely."

Alexander laughed, resting his head on Daniel's shoulder. The young man's hand was in his hair, stroking him and he basked in the attention. "You are always welcome to take advantage of me. We must be very clear on that. This hardly makes me want to be driven from your side, by the way."

"As you said, darling, it's only one more night and then tomorrow's evening…"

"Yes." Alexander pulled back, face suddenly serious. "Tomorrow you'll be mine. Irrevocably, absolutely mine."

"In all things."

Alexander took a moment to find his voice. "And about time. The courting rituals of your country are barbarous."

"We think them chivalrous."

"Grueling would be more apt. Fine, keep your virtue for one night more. I have waited this long. Just be warned that when we finally do give in to our passions that I will not be easy in my satisfaction."

"I would not expect it." His eyes were downcast, but a slight smile was on his lips. Alexander kissed the corner of his mouth. Daniel pushed him back. "Come, I will see you to the door."

"You are cruel."

"One more night of my cruelty. You have withstood it for almost two months, it should be nothing new."

Alexander stood up, reluctance in his every movement. Daniel also rose to his feet and took him by the arm, ushering him out.

"Will you go directly to your chamber, Alexander?" He asked as he all but pushed the baron out the main door of his rooms.

Alexander turned. Daniel had one hand resting on the doorway, the other on the half shut door. His nightshirt was slipping, baring one lovely, pale shoulder and his hair was in disarray. The whole scene was alarmingly domestic and Alexander felt his breathing deepen.

"No, I have just remembered there is some work below I should perhaps attend to. Preparation for what waits us on the morrow."

Daniel nodded. "I see. Well then." He stepped forward a gentle hand on the back of Alexander's neck drawing him down. "Good night then." It was a soft kiss, chaste, and over almost as soon as Alexander realized what was happening. He reached out to touch him, to put his arms around that thin waist, but Daniel was pulling back, the door closing. Alexander's hand shot out and caught it. Daniel blinked at him in surprise and something a kin to trepidation. "You promised, my lord." Daniel reminded him.

"I did and we will wait, I will keep that vow. It did occur to me though that we might…indulge in some play. Just enough to tide us over you might say."

Daniel blushed. "I assure you, I have no idea what you're talking about."

Alexander smiled, his fingers brushing over the neck of Daniel's nightshirt, trailing down and downward still. "I think I will enjoy showing you." One hand fisted in the fabric of Daniel's shirt, pulling him forward. "You are lovely. Every dream I have ever dared to dream." He bent to kiss him.

"That was horrid. Of all the debased, depraved…"

Calm yourself. It is over and it got rid of him admirably. He left rather pleased with himself, don't you think?

"Do not make light of the matter! It was not yourself he visited that…that wretched act upon."

You seemed to be enjoying yourself.

Daniel blushed, shamed at himself for giving in to the pleasure at the end, letting Alexander hold him down and…with his mouth… He shook himself, but the ghosts of the sensations still lingered. He crossed his legs.

Never mind. It was a pale shadow of what he really wanted to do to you. Well, if you do your part in our little scheme, we can save you from that fate.

"I don't understand some of the finer details. Why scatter my journal pages? And these canisters..." He held up one of the strange devices he had tucked underneath the bed.

It will all become clear, or maybe not I should say. You won't remember any of this if things go to plan.

"It all seems…rather drastic."

You want your precious redemption, don't you? Your revenge?

"I do."

Then it is the only way to wipe the slate clean of your sins, to rekindle your courage and purge yourself of any ill founded and conditioned affection. You need to stay strong.

"But I am not. I have never been."

A good thing we found each other, eh? I will be your courage.

"Will I remember it though?"

Maybe you will have no need to. Now let's go through your journal and see what entries will drive you best in your new life.

It had been a thing of beauty, sublime. He was still overwhelmed with emotion, so shatteringly thankful that Daniel had given him the gift of himself, even if it was only a taste of the many delights he could offer. Would offer.

There had been half hearted protests at first, but when Alexander had coaxed him to bed, his prior scruples had vanished. Not as wanton as Alexander would have liked, but that was probably due to nerves. The way he had started at every movement, so so skittish, his Daniel. Alexander was beginning to suspect that no one had touched him intimately before. No one had certainly done that to him before. Alexander paused in his etching of symbols to relish the memory, the way Daniel had clutched at him, those delicate fingers twining themselves in his hair, pulling towards instead of pushing away. And those delicious little noises he had uttered, that wrenched cry at the end… It was better than any fantasy the baron had ever concocted.

When Daniel was spent, Alexander had rested his cheek against the young man's stomach, almost too content to heed to his own needs boiling within him. He had simply lain there, breathing in the other man, his sweat, his skin… And then shaking fingers began to run through his hair, to pet him. "Do not touch me." He had murmured. "If you touch me, I will be undone. I won't be able to keep my promise to not take you until tomorrow."

"Is your self control such a fragile thing, Alexander?"

"When it comes to you, it would appear so." He had kissed him, nipped him on the sensitive skin of his inner hip and Daniel had given the most delightful little gasp, a shudder through his entire body. "You tempt me entirely too much."

"Then maybe you best be away."

Alexander raised himself up, trailing kisses up his chest to finally hover over his mouth. "I love you."

"You say it so desperately." Daniel's eyes were shining, with joy or tears it was hard to say.

No kiss had ever been sweeter, ever been so full of promises of what was to come.

What a perfect last night. It had renewed the baron's belief that there could be no flaw in his plans. He had left nothing to chance.

Daniel looked around the inner sanctum, eyes wide. It was a place transformed. The very depths of Brenneberg had always been an eerie place to him, as if Alexander had tried his best to recreate his vision of the inferno of Dante, but now… It really was a hellish place. Three orbs sat upon three pillars in the center of the room, around them were circles filled with hundreds of scrawled symbols. The writing seemed to crawl, desperate to leave this horrid room. Alexander seemed to materialize from the gloom behind Daniel. "Almost time." His voice was low and placating. He placed a hand on Daniel's shoulder.

"How…how long before…?"

"Five hours, four maybe if we are lucky."

"I heard it all last night. Calling to me."

"Yes, I had to draw some of the wards that were protecting the castle to this room. We need their energies here more."

"So it knows where we are now."

"It's known for quite some time, Daniel. Now it can merely reach us."

Daniel went pale. "You seem unconcerned."

"Of course I am. It can take the damned place apart brick by brick now; I have no further need of this ugly heap of stone. We will be well away by the time it reaches this far below." Alexander nuzzled the fine hairs on Daniel's temple. "Don't fret yourself needlessly."

"Five hours at the most you say."

"Yes."

"I want to go back to the surface. Just for a bit."

"Daniel…" The baron let him pull away; concern was in his eyes and no fair amount of mistrust.

"I won't do anything foolish, Alexander; I just need to take one last look. It's my world and yes, it has not always been kind to me, but it's been all I have known and I am leaving it forever." He placed a hand against the baron's face, and Alexander, despite himself, leaned into the touch, eyes half closing. "I need to say my goodbyes."

Alexander growled, but Daniel was unfazed. He merely walked into the circle of the baron's arms and let himself be petted as Alexander struggled within himself. "Very well." He said at last. "Make your farewells to this atrocious world and lay it forever to rest. Don't dally though, Daniel." He held him at arm's length. "The Shadow truly is at our gate."

"You won't come up with me?" He stepped back, peering up anxiously. Alexander winced.

"I cannot. I am needed here; the last bit of the ritual needs to be carefully orchestrated. It's time consuming and we don't have much of it to waste."

"I'll be alone? What happens if I stay too long?"

"Make sure you do not. Be as quick as you can be. If you do linger I will have to send my servants for you." Alexander paused. "Maybe that would be for the best. I worry to have you wander by yourself. Stay in your room, the Gatherers will come fetch you when it is time. Does that seem reasonable?"

"Very, but honestly Alexander, those things? They are hideous."

"I had to make do with the materials at hand. Don't chide my work so. Now off with you, before I change my mind. Lord knows I can barely part from you at the best of times."

"Thank you." Daniel stood on tiptoe and kissed his cheek.

"Just be careful. And make sure you mind the Gatherers."

"You've hardly left me any choice in the matter." Daniel said, dancing away as the baron tried to catch him. "I shall wait for your horrid servants in my rooms. If I grow bored, I will make my own way down."

"Daniel, the castle will grow more unstable the nearer the Shadow. Wait for the servants or send to me with your mind if you have need of them before the appointed time."

Daniel smiled over his shoulder and then was gone.

You, my boy, should have been an actor. Daniel's smile widened to a grin.

The corridor was chill; it was as if every remnant of warmth that had graced this cursed place were being leeched by what was now approaching. Daniel held up the vial to the weak sunlight streaming through the windows. Such an innocuous liquid. He had mistaken it for perfume the first time Alexander had handed it to him. Had scoffed when the baron had told him what it was capable of. It wasn't possible for any man on Earth to make such a potion. His hand closed into a fist around the vial. He had had it right back then, hadn't he? No man could have made the amnesia tonic.

Agrippa's voice had been absent for at least half an hour. Daniel almost missed the chiding and nagging. It was a lonely business, this erasure of his life. He could have done with the support. But whatever foul energies that rode with the Shadow were interfering with his new found skill for telepathy. It made it easier to dodge the tendrils of thought Alexander sent his way to check up on him, but unfortunately it made it all but impossible to contact Agrippa.

He picked up the paper and scanned the writing in his own, hasty hand. Foolish, leaving a letter to one's self. Foolish and eerie. He wondered if it would prompt his memory, if it would all come flooding back as soon as he saw Alexander's name. Would he scoff at it, thinking it a prank? Or maybe balk at the thought of killing an old man in cold blood? He would not remember that he had experience at the ending of lives after all. His new self might find the act as repugnant as Daniel once had. Before Alexander had ruined him.

Leaving the lantern burning on the table, he rose and left the room. The castle had grown strange in recent days. He had used to love it, had thought it beautiful. Now when he looked at it he could only feel horror, hear the screams he knew had rang out through the centuries down its halls.

He unstoppered the potion. It felt too much like suicide, this plan. He hoped he remembered some small things. He hoped he remembered how much he liked Ovid, the way Mayfair had smelled in the summers, his love for the mysteries of archeology. He hoped he remembered his Hazel. Dear, sweet Hazel who had been his sole strength for so long and who had done nothing to deserve the monster he had become. He would do this for her and for little Sascha. Erase a demon and be reborn again as a man. The cold of glass against his lips, the burn of liquid down his throat and the smell of Damascus rose. And Daniel was no more.

X

Almost the end! One or two chapters left, if I had to guesstimate. I didn't think it would be so sad to be finishing this up. It's the longest fanfic I have ever written and I have had so much fun writing it. I have another lengthy Amnesia fic planned and I should be looking forward to that, but... I just really liked working on this little tale. As always, thanks for the reviews! All comments and critiques are always welcome!