It was strange to have no idea of who you were. He remembered his name was Daniel and had had it confirmed when he had stumbled across that alarming note next to the lantern, but there was no connection to the appellation, no sense of identity. Had Daniel had many friends or was he a loner? Was he cheerful or brooding? Studious or active? He really had no idea. He was suspecting bookish due to the rather frail state of his stature and the odd little crumbs of knowledge that would pop into his mind. A scholar then? Was that how he had come to this haunted place in the middle of its dark forest? Had he been researching something?
The letter had hinted that he had been running from something, but why here? Why was this a sanctuary with its horrors and secrets? Even as he wandered through the abandoned and desolate halls he could glean no emotion from the place, if he had loved it at one time, if he had felt safe here, or if he had always abhorred it. He dug the letter from out of his pocket and scanned the lines again. Alexander. The name meant nothing to him, though the letter implored him to kill this old man. Why? What could have inspired such hatred, such fear, to the point of erasing who he had been in the hopes that what was reborn could carry out the deed? And what guarantee that this letter had been written by himself? He couldn't even remember his own handwriting! What if someone had forcibly made him drink from the vial he had woken up next to and then left that letter, trying to make him an unwitting assassin to keep their hands clean? Though to be fair, he doubted very much that there was another living soul in this place. An inhuman cry came from the room nearby. Daniel clutched his lantern to him and gulped.
Alexander was in a blind panic. He couldn't reach Daniel. He had been trying for a good hour and not so much a murmur in his mind from the boy. He paced the inner chamber, worrying a nail. When he tasted blood he made himself stop and clutched his hands behind his back. Daniel Daniel Daniel where are you? We don't have time for hide and seek and if you delay too long… Alexander didn't want to think of the possible outcomes to that. With a growl of frustration he turned to the door, robes swirling around his ankles. He had his hand upon it, was pushing against it when he felt a small brush in his thoughts. Daniel? Faint, but there. So he was safe. He could barely get a bearing on where the young man was. Somewhere in the main hall? The library? Why was he so far from his chambers?
Alexander cursed, damning the shadow for its chaotic energies; it made searching for Daniel like trying to find a needle in a bloody sandstorm and hurt just as much. He should go up there, he should find him and bring him back down, make sure he was safe, make sure he stayed safe; he should have never, ever let him have left in the first place. He bashed his fist against the door, welcoming the pain; it cleared his mind. He couldn't leave, as much as he might want to. He needed to finish up the gate, that way as soon as he had Daniel once more in his arms they both could make their escape before the Shadow snapped its jaws down on them both. If he spent time searching for Daniel and bringing him back down there would be no time to attend to the gate before that monstrosity was upon them. As much as he was loath to do so, he would have to trust in the Gatherers and Daniel's sense of self preservation.
The creature had taken a fair chunk out of him. He hadn't even known the blasted thing was there until he had felt the sharp sting in his side and then a warmth as the blood had begun to flow. As bad as he thought that lurker in the water had been, what had followed it had been even worse. Apparently his former self had not been lying about being cursed; at least the Shadow was real and very much a threat.
He leaned back on the door he had just slammed shut on the damned thing, feeling it retreat for a time, regroup. There was a sense of protection in this new area, though Daniel could not say for sure how he knew it. He gingerly touched his side. He would have to find some way of wrapping it up. He could not delay any longer, he had to move on. No telling when the protections of this place would fail as they had done back in the main hall. He walked up the stairs, thankful there weren't too many of them and halted at the top. The fountain was… strange. He found himself wondering, not for the first time, what sort of man this baron was.
"You almost had him you dolts!" Alexander shouted. He knew it did no good to lose his temper with them, that- angered or calm- it made no difference to the Gatherers. They were the basest constructs he had ever made, the only ones he could make with the materials of this damnable world, and therefore they could not process such things as fear or a desire to please their master. They were good only for carrying out orders, "fetch this", "kill that"...apparently "find my lover and make sure he is safe" had been a bit beyond them.
"Why didn't he stay in his rooms, as I had asked him? Why is he running from you?" He couldn't make sense of it all. He had felt Daniel in his chambers a while ago, and how his heart had eased when he had thought that the boy was finally complying to his orders, that something must have just delayed him earlier, but then he had faded again and was left with just the dull confusion of the Gatherer that had entered the room.
Daniel was in the prisons now and from the little scraps that he could catch was terrified out of his tiny mind. Alexander found he was pretty unsympathetic to his plight and wished the boy would just give into his terror, pass out, and quit leading his rescuers on such a merry chase. "Find him!" He ordered. "I don't care if you have to wound him; obviously something has him crazed beyond the point of reason. Just enough to incapacitate, mind, then bring him to me. Quickly!" He could feel the Shadow within the boundaries of his lands, sneaking tendrils of itself into his castle itself. He had never felt any affection for the place and was rather surprised at how violating it felt to have that creature in it; it was a disquieting feeling, even more so knowing that Daniel was running around like a blind lunatic with it dogging his steps.
Alexander was not one for praying, had never believed in the gods even when he had been a youth, but he found himself uttering a small plea to ears he knew would be deaf to it if they existed at all: let him be returned to me, let him be safe; he's the only thing I have ever loved. Don't be so cruel as to take it from me as soon as I have found it.
Daniel began to suspect he was a bit…what was the word...telepathic. He had first begun to wonder about it when he had stumbled across the scene in the wine cellar. It had started like one of those dim flashbacks he was prone to; he had even thought it was a memory at first until he had considered it more properly afterward. He had read the scrap of paper and suddenly had seen the place filled with men dressed as soldiers, drinking wine and slurring curses and bits of bawdy tunes-then they had changed, burst apart, dissolved. It had been ghastly and Daniel had had to crouch in the corner retching for a good few minutes afterwards. What sort of horrible memory had that been? Those costumes were old. A voice that sounded like his own, but not, whispered in his mind. Not from any era we would have been alive to see. The note is dated, look. He had pulled it out and glanced at it. 1704. And according to his diary he was now in the year 1839. Unless he was immortal there was no way he could have been privy to that carnage. Then what the hell had that been about?
His suspicions became more than idle conjecture in the prisons. He had simultaneously been chasing the ghost of a girl and dodging those hellish creatures that seemed overly fond of him when a rather striking voice had echoed in his ears. He had been forced to huddle behind several boxes, knees shaking too much to support his weight until that voice was done berating the things that were chasing him. The baron? Had that been Alexander? It seemed to match the voice from his memories, dim as they were. It didn't seem to be the voice of a frail old man though. Daniel began to understand why his former self might have been in awe of the man, in terror of him.
It was in the control rooms-Daniel was trying figure out a way to fix the contraption so he could lower the bridge-that Alexander seemed to finally find him.
Daniel, is that you?
Daniel jumped, looking around to make sure he was alone. What should he do? Stay silent and hope this voice in his mind left him alone? Respond to it somehow and ask for some answers?
What are you doing?
"Fixing these damnable machines of yours." He muttered.
I see. What's wrong with you? Your mind is…odd.
"You're one to talk. This whole castle of yours is passing strange."
The warmth of affection that washed over him was surprising. Are you on your way to me then? Are you unhurt?
Daniel fidgeted at the concern in that mental voice. It didn't seem like something a madman intent on his destruction would think at him, a man who had been howling for his blood a few minutes ago. "Thank you for your concern, sir. I am not so badly hurt, no thanks to your minions. That accursed invisible creature in the water did me in a fair bit."
The Kaernk? How did you encounter the Kaernk? It shouldn't have been anywhere near… Never mind. Just get to the Inner Sanctum and be quick about it. Avoid any parts of the castle that are flooded if you can help it. Make haste.
"You…want me to come to the Inner Sanctum?"
A sigh and the frustration in it almost knocked Daniel over. Yes, why would I not? Stop behaving like an idiot and get a move on!
"It's just that…" Daniel rethought telling the baron that he had told himself to kill him. He couldn't fathom how that would make the situation any better. The baron seemed to have gleaned it from him though, that stray thought, because his mind went utterly, eerily quiet.
I see. Or I am beginning to see.
"I think I better go now." Daniel wondered if there was a way to block his mind from another. Maybe if he pushed against the alien presence in his head, imagined a sort of door…
Daniel! Don't you dare…
There! That had been easy. He realized he was grinning like an idiot. It was nice to be alone again and he never thought he would think that. It had been an upsetting experience that only added to his unease. He felt that he was missing something to all of this, something vital.
Alexander finally burst through the mental door in the morgue of all places. Daniel couldn't help that small scream of alarm when he felt that presence shoulder it's way it. He had wondered if he stood very still and kept his mind blank he would be overlooked… Daniel, I know you're here. I can hear you breathing. Alexander snapped, annoyed.
Daniel whimpered and rubbed at his temple. The man's voice was so loud…
Did you really take the amnesia potion?
"It appears that I did." No sense in denying it.
A long silence and then, Why? Hurt, was that hurt that pulsated against him? Betrayal?
"I don't know, sir. I am as in the dark about it as you. I would think that you would be in a better position to guess at my reasons though." Daniel looked at the mound of corpses and shuddered. "You seemed to have been a very busy man."
Don't you dare condemn my actions. They weren't mine alone. I will not shoulder the entire blame for them.
"I would never have been a party to this!" Daniel thrust a hand out at the mutilated bodies.
Are you certain of that? Alexander left him. Daniel hugged the lantern to him, trying to get as much warmth as he could from the little flame. He wasn't sure, that was the thing. He felt repugnance at what he kept coming across in this castle, revulsion, but whenever he tried to distance himself from it, he would hear that tiny whimper in the dark, the sound of running feet and pleas that had fallen on deaf ears. Daniel was beginning to think that Daniel had not been a good man. Thankfully a Brute-what he had named the big, hulking creature with its thuggish bat for an arm-burst through the door, distracting him from the disquieting train of thought he had been entertaining.
He stared down at the torture device. He remembered. How the screams had sounded, the grim joy he had found in his work, that sick satisfaction that he had found a skill he was good at. He wanted to vomit, but there was nothing in his stomach to rid himself of. "I was a monster."
"Don't you dare condemn me." He flinched, thinking it was Alexander again. No, the voice was wrong, it was…it was his own. "What I did, I had to do. To live. And it wasn't my fault, I was made to do it! He made me. He lied to me, to us. He must die for that, we must have our vengeance!"
"Do shut up." Daniel pressed a hand to his head. He was mad. He was in the depths of a castle, in a dungeon, having an argument with himself. What an insane world he had been born into. Reborn into, he corrected.
He thought of the little girl, wished he could dredge up a name for her. He couldn't even remember her face. He seemed to see two faces from separate little girls when he tried, both blurred though, features indecipherable. "She deserved it! That little bitch!" She had fallen, she had cried before he had ended their chase, ended her.
Daniel hunched over, clawing at his head, dropping the lantern in the process. The room plunged into darkness and he screamed. Surprisingly, that sheer terror cleared his mind, weakened his former self and drove him back to the depths of unremembered memory. Daniel closed his eyes and felt on the ground. His fingers skimmed metal and he grabbed up the lantern, resting it on his knee as he fumbled with the tinder box. Light, blessed light.
He felt himself stir again and shoved it back down. "I am beginning to really not like you, I think." He muttered as he rose. One last thing to gather for that Agrippa, that living dead chatty bloke in the Nave, and he could end this grim night.
"Why didn't he kill me?" He asked the severed head as he walked towards the inner sanctum. "He could have. When those Grunts"-named for their unpleasant noises- "had swarmed me, I thought I was a goner, but they just knocked me out, put me in that jail cell. Doesn't he want me dead?"
Aren't you here as an instrument of his destruction? Why would he want you alive?
Daniel sighed. Everyone seemed fond of answering questions with questions in bloody Brennenberg. Daniel was getting tired of always being in the dark, both literally and figuratively. "I feel as if I am missing the main part of this macabre little play."
You know the pertinent points. You know he is a monster from another world, that he tricked you into your damnation, and that you must redeem yourself, that you must stop him. What more is there to know?
The truth. But he remained silent. It was true that horrible things had happened here, that sinful, deplorable atrocities had taken place and they weren't things that could easily escape forgiveness or retribution. But… "I did these acts too. I am not blameless."
Agrippa's mental voice was almost wheedling. You were a dupe, Daniel. A pawn only. A man doesn't accuse the dagger for slaying another, does he? No, he accuses the hand that wielded it. When you were reborn you cleansed yourself of all sin and you will make certain of your redemption when you have set me free and washed yourself clean in the blood of Alexander.
Daniel had felt he had had more of his fair share of being washed in blood in this lifetime. He wanted to ask Agrippa about the words that Alexander had spoken in the jail cell, the pleas to stay put and to stay safe until this ritual was fully ready. He may have hated Alexander, but he wasn't sure that the sentiment was mutual, in spite of all the evidence he had found littered around the place.
There was a memory on the bridge to the inner sanctum. His past self had been following Alexander, teasing him about how he never seemed to want to look backwards at him when they walked this bridge. He had mentioned a myth, Eurydice and Orpheus's tale, and the baron had snapped at him, flustered and a bit embarrassed, had called Daniel too astute. Daniel tried to recall the tale, but like most things from his past, it was like trying to look through a dark glass. It had been a love story, a story of a man so in love that he had risked hell itself, death itself, for his lady, but it had ended in loss. Everything lost by a backward glance, or was it by hesitation? Distrust? Some sort of message in that.
He couldn't remember the baron's face and that troubled him. A man that seemed to have dominated so much of his life, a man who had enticed him into acts that-he hoped- had been against his very nature, and Daniel could only recall a broad back, long white hair, and a voice that seemed to be constantly annoyed with him.
I do hope your resolve is not faltering, snapped Agrippa.
"Kill him kill him kill him." Gibbered his former self.
Daniel was finding himself liking Alexander for the sole reason of being the only one who seemed to be able to keep silent.
X
I hesitated over posting this chapter, because I didn't feel that it was really necessary. I needed to write it out to get into New!Daniel's head, but I wasn't sure if it would be a useful read to everyone else. I did like Danny's observations though, Alexander worrying himself sick, and the scene at the end with poor Daniel having to cope with Agrippa and his past self rattling around in his head, so decided to include it. I hope everyone enjoys it!