Rin POV
My stomach turns as I get ready for the ballet. I am accompanied by Sophia and more maids than usual, since I'm more primped up than usual tonight. Lady Laura bustles around like a mother hen, watching and instructing. I feel like tearing everything off and jumping into a lake to die.
Strangely, I want Len. Because it's been so busy, with everyone getting everything ready, I haven't seen him since he crawled out of bed this morning. I miss him though…and scold myself for getting so attached. I'm a big girl, I can handle this. I try and convince myself that I'm being silly, but it's not really working.
I keep seeing myself in the mirror as they primp me. I haven't put on my dress yet, they are saving it for last so it doesn't wrinkle or something. Which I think is just ridiculous; I'll be sitting all night, it going to get wrinkled. Might as well let the wrinkle-free dream die.
It's beautiful though, and I can't help but smile at the dress as they lace it on me. It's pink and yellow, but really light and floaty, very sheer with lots of layers. But no lace, no bows, or frills. I told Len I wouldn't go if I had to wear a dress like that. It's perfect, and looks a little like a sunset, since the pink and yellow blend in a few places to make a peachy orange. The bodice is yellow and has a pattern on it made by thin, thin pink thread. It's sleeveless, but I have a wrap, which I also think is silly. The theater it is being performed in is in the castle. The guards are extra paranoid about safety of the royal family ever since before… even though this is a whole other palace than the one where the massacre took place years ago, they want safety, especially for big events like this.
I'm finally dressed and ready. Melody, who has been hiding under the bed for most of the night, finally scampers out to flick her little paw at my skirts. I picked her up and see Laura cringe in fear of cat hair, but I don't care. Melody's fur will probably match the dress anyways. Sophia sees my face as I search for comfort in the kitten, and squeezes my hand gently.
"Would you like some time alone, mistress?" She asks softly. I look up, surprised into her eyes and nod. She is so kind. She starts to shoo everyone out.
"What! But the princess is always kept company by her attendants until departure!" Laura huffs until Sophia murmurs something to her, and she looks at me tenderly.
"I hope you have a good time, dear. Don't trip!" She calls as she leaves. I nod to her, than sink onto the bed.
I am so tired, and I haven't even left yet. I don't want to go, see people staring at me, judging me. They will know… they will know I'm not a princess. I'm just a poor girl who somehow got swept up in this. I ball up the blanket in my fists and clench my eyes shut as my nerves threaten to consume me.
I hear a few sharp knocks on the door above the murmur of people outside the door to the hall. I stand up.
"Come in." I call, knowing it's him. He eases open the door and enters.
"Oh Rin…" he literally seems to be at a loss of words, and it makes me blush. His eyes travel up and down, and I feel like I really am on fire.
I shift awkwardly and he snaps out of it.
"You look beautiful. More than beautiful. Tremendous." He utters. I shake my head.
"You look very handsome too." I say, embarrassed. He smiles at me. His hair gleams, and his suit is blue and yellow, and he has some medals pinned on. His smile is so sweet as it is aimed at me, and I fail to squash any feelings I have towards him as he walks over.
I grab his arm and he holds my hand before leaning over to kiss my forehead. I lean my head against his shoulder.
"I know you don't want to go, but it will be really nice, I promise." He whispers. I shake my head.
He sighs and pulls me in closer for a tight hug, saying, "I won't let anyone hurt you Rin… it will be wonderful after a while, just me and you watching a ballet with pretty music." I nod and try to believe him. His hand in mine is comforting. Startling us, a solider sticks his head in.
"Sire, it's about time." Len nods.
"Are you ready?" he asks. I want to say no, because everything about this makes me want to retreat, but I nod my head when I see the excitement in his eyes, and I let him lead me out into the hall.
Len POV
God she's beautiful. I can barely stand to look at her too long because I could look at her all night long and never be tired. Rin is always beautiful, but tonight she shines like a crystal chandelier. As we enter my bed chamber to move towards the hall, I remember and stop her.
"Hold on, I got you something." I say, and release her hand to paw through my desk drawer.
She clutches her hand nervously. "I didn't want anything." She protests. I ignore her as I find the flat rectangular velvet box.
"For you." I say, offering her the box. "It's not a cat." She smiles as she remembers poor melody, who's stuck alone all night until we return. She doesn't open the box, instead turns it around repeatedly in her petite hands, smoothing the surface. I wait impatiently. She looks up at me.
"Why?" She asks. I smile at her.
"I'll tell you when you open it." I counter. She bites her lip and opens it to find a thin silver chain, and on it a sweet yellow diamond pendant. It is accented by the chain perfectly, and it is not too big to be obnoxious. Her lips part as she tries to find words but cannot.
"Len…" She finally manages, and I shake my head, still smiling.
"No arguing." I interject. "It's yours." I take the box from her and take out the necklace. I fasten the clasp behind her and turn her gently to face me.
"Because I love you." I say. I smile at her as my heart feels like it will burst. She stares at me, and then her face breaks into a smile.
"No arguing." I repeat as her mouth opens once more. I grab her hand and head towards the door. She follows, and the door is opened. We are set in motion surrounded by soldiers as they lead us to the grand hall. I hear Rin's breath hitch and she clasps my hand tighter as we reach it and the many noble guests waiting for us.
"Just smile, I've got you Rinny." I whisper, and she hesitantly smiles. People smile and bow or curtsey slightly as we pass, and Rin's grip gets tighter as we go down. As we reach the end of the hall, the crowd is murmuring with excitement and eagerness. They are instructed to wait outside until we are seated. Down the carpeted hall we walk, and her grip finally loosens as we leave the crowd.
"Are you ok?" I ask. She nods. We are lead to our booth once we reach the grand theater, and are seated in the elegant chairs coated in velvet. Rin sits hesitantly, but I don't let go of our hands. We sit side by side, nice and close, as the others file in below us. Many look up here, and Rin stiffens.
"As soon as the show starts, no one will be looking up here." I say to her.
"Well they are now!" she hisses. I nudge her arm soothingly, and she frowns but tries to relax. Soon the lights are dimmed and the orchestra starts the beginning chords.
As soon as the music starts, Rin relaxes and begins to hum.
"Do you know this sing?" I whisper to her, her eyes fixated on the dancers and musicians below. She shakes her head but continues to hum, perfectly in pitch and on cue. I stare at her, transfixed in her beauty and spirit once more. She even starts to sway as she watches. I smile. I knew she would like it. I knew it. With her free hand, she plays with her new necklace, and I grin when I notice that. I guess she likes it. Our hands are still intertwined, so I too relax and try to enjoy the ballet, but often find myself distracted by something, like Rin's glossy hair or quick smile, or the way her eyelashes are so long and frame her sapphire blue eyes perfectly.
Halfway through, I can't keep quiet any longer. I lean over my chair towards her.
"Rin?"
"Hm?" She doesn't look away.
"Do you like it?" I ask. Her eyes meet mine.
"I love it…it's so beautiful…yet so sad." I blink.
"Huh?" I wasn't really paying attention to the story.
"The girl, she wants the man but she is too poor…and he is engaged to that awful woman. They cannot be together." Her eyes grow glassy as she glances at the stage below. My heart aches with words and want.
She turns her head back to me, and our eyes connect. Her blue eyes are endless depth, yet so familiar and perfect. I find myself getting closer to them, as I lean in and tilt my head. She does the same, and our lips meet.
We both press with equal want, and her other hand comes to rest on my free one. She tightens her grip as her lips move against mine. I cannot restrain myself as I kiss her hungrily, lustfully, wanting her lips to be mine and only mine, so I can kiss her and hold her forever. Suddenly she halts and pulls away, grabbing her hands back, leaving mine empty. I open my eyes to see hers filled with tears. The show continues and the light is dim, but the shine of her tears drips from her eyes down her flushed cheeks.
"I can't do this." She whispers. My eyes widen, I can't lose her. My lips form the sweet syllable of her name, but she runs.
Somehow she brushes past the guards outside our door, and they stand there stunned as she races down the hallway.
"Rin!" I call as I chase after her. The guards start, but I wave them off.
Soon, I lose her. Damn she's quick. I hope she doesn't get lost. I know the palace in and out, living here with our grandfather since he got me back from the army of soldiers that killed Rin and I's parents. He's gone now, but I remember clearly walking these halls with him as he held my small hand in his large one, pointing out the large paintings of my parents and Rin, telling me to never forget them. And I never did. He was a kind, gentle old man, and raised me well. I only wish Rin would have been with us.
I search the halls for her but don't call out, for I can sense that she will only run away if she hears me. However, I grow more frantic as I search fruitlessly. Perhaps I should have brought the guards or organized a search team. Suddenly I spot something unusual out of the corner of my eye: a pair of gold slippers, Rin's.
She must have gone through here and discarded them for faster running or discomfort. I'm on the right track. I follow down the hallway, trying to put myself in her shoes, well not literally, and find myself in our bedroom wing. I guess she has a better sense of direction than I thought. I see her ahead, sobbing at her door as she grasps the handle.
"Rin!" I exclaim with relief. She looks up startled as a young deer mother, and thrusts open the door and slips inside, closing it behind her. I dart into my room and through the side door, and catch her in the middle of the room. We stare at each other.
"Leave!" She commands, but I shake my head.
"Rin, I'm sor-"
"Leave!" She yells again, even louder. She claws at herself, at her dress and hair. Her hair, released from its careful updo flies around her pink face.
"Please, just talk to me-"
"LEAVE ME ALONE!" She screams, so loud and forceful I back away. Her eyes burn like blue fire and tears swell from them. I nod.
"I'm sorry…" I whisper as I leave. I only see her collapse onto her bed before the door shuts.
I feel so horrible. She must not feel the same, I must have overwhelmed her, frightened her. She can't even accept me as her brother, why would I try to push more? I rip my own clothes off in anger, and feel hot tears rise to my eyes, but I rub them away immediately. I am a man. I love Rin, but I mustn't ever hurt her, which is what I am doing. I keep pushing and pushing her, I just want her so badly, to remember, to love me, to be mine. I slam my hand on the desk angrily, knocking things to the floor and making a slight splitting sound in the wood. I spy the velvet box from earlier and fling it against the wall.
I am so stupid! What if she runs away, never wants to see me again? What if this pushes her so far away from me I won't ever be able to draw her close again? I sink to the floor and lean my head onto the deep brown desk.
"Stupid…stupid…" I mutter. I sit there for a while, anguished while I hear her cry in the next room. At least I know she's there. Eventually it ceases, and I crawl to my bed. It's empty without her.
I curse myself for my fate and hers, and stare at the ceiling as I try to clear my mind.
A/N
Hi! Now we are getting somewhere... *raises eyebrows* Well, Kind of a sad somewhere... but it will get better, I promise!
Thank you all again! Every comment and alert and such is amazing! A hug for everyone!
Anyways~
Ellsweetella~ Yup! As you see, they attend a ballet~ Thats so cool! I used to also when I was younger, but I'm not coordinated at all! XD
Kagaminevii~ I know! So cute, young love~ Oh Rin is very stubborn! Takes a lot for her to get convinced, plus she likes her freedom of not being attached to anything, she's not used to feeling bonded, even if that bond is love!
A new character? *thinks* No... but actually, there will (kinda) be a new character in the next few chapters... not a very big one, but an important one.
Thank you! I will do my best! They start Monday TAT