Chapter 7: The Game is Afoot
Where did you find that Goldilocks, anyway?" asked Nardole as he followed the Doctor through the doors of the police box, and closed them behind him.
"I didn't. She found me – and the red-haired girl." The Doctor inserted his "screwdriver" into the control panel, and a nearby screen flickered to life. He gave it a glance as he turned a couple of dials on the console. Then, he looked sharply back at the screen and drew it closer to him.
"That's not right," he muttered.
"What isn't?" Nardole walked over to him, but both men's attention was diverted when the doors suddenly creaked open. In rushed Rintaro, his white lab coat billowing behind him. He stopped abruptly, and his jaw dropped. The two other men looked at each other.
"You didn't lock the door!" the Doctor accused.
"I thought I did!" Nardole exclaimed.
"Clearly you didn't!"
"I did!"
Whether or not Nardole had locked the doors, Rintaro clearly hadn't; they were still wide open behind him, allowing Kurisu to rush in as well. She stopped abruptly, and her eyes widened.
"Impossible," she breathed. "T-the interior dimensions…"
"It's bigger," Rintaro whispered.
"...exceed the interior…"
"...on the inside." Rintaro chuckled shakily. "This – I'm – it's beyond anything –"
"Keep it together," the Doctor snapped. "Don't drool."
"Oh, wow!" Mayuri exclaimed as she stepped inside, with Itaru close behind her. "Look, Daru-kun! It's a magic box!"
"For God's sake," the Doctor cried, "somebody, please lock the door!"
Itaru obediently acquiesced.
"Did you just lock us inside the physically-impossible telephone box?" Kurisu asked.
"Oh, were you planning on leaving?" Itaru replied.
"No," she admitted.
"Great." Nardole threw his hands up. "We've made a proper field trip of it now."
"You've made a proper field trip of it," the Doctor corrected as he flipped some switches on the console.
"How is it my fault?" Nardole protested.
"I'll tell you the reason," said the Doctor. "When I think of one."
He pulled a lever. Inside the central glass pillar above the console, the glass tubes and filaments began moving up and down. The metal dials at the top of the structure began to turn in opposite directions, and the lights embedded in them flashed on and off. Then, a strange sound filled the air, one that didn't sound like anything the four newcomers had ever heard before. It was an alien noise that sounded like metal scraping against metal, or like metal that could stretch, expanding and contracting. It was as if a machine had gained the capacity to breathe. It was a loud and unnatural sound; but no one felt the need to cover their ears.
"What's happening?" Mayuri wondered aloud.
"It's happening," said Rintaro, a new quaver entering his voice. "Time travel."
Then, just as quickly as it began, it ended: the noise stopped, the moving parts stilled.
"Are we…there yet?" Itaru asked.
"Yes," the Doctor answered. "Yes, we're there. And then."
"Impossible," Kurisu repeated softly. "Impossible."
The Doctor raised his hand. When he snapped his fingers, the sound came through crisply and clearly. The latch on the seemingly wooden doors released, and the doors swung open. "See for yourself."
"How did you do that? Those doors are made of wood…" Kurisu didn't finish her inquiry; when Rintaro, and then Mayuri and Itaru, rushed outside, Kurisu hurried after them.
Her eyes bulged when she saw the scene in front of her. They had just been on a busy commercial street; now they were at an intersection in front of what Kurisu recognized as Mitakihara Middle School – a hypermodern architectural affair that stacked glass stories upon glass stories to a height that would make Tokyo Tower feel a little insecure, if metal had feelings. But like most Japanese schools, there was a cast iron gate in front of it, and like most Japanese schools, there was a throng of students walking down the sidewalk and through the gate, ready to start their school day. Except it wasn't a school day. They had the weekend off…
"I hate Mondays," yawned a young middle school boy walking by, as one of his friends nodded numbly in agreement while the other merely punched him on the shoulder.
"It's…it's not Monday," Kurisu whispered. "It's Sunday…"
"This doesn't look like the plaza," Mayuri noted.
Itaru's head swiveled to and fro. "Did we…move?"
"It travels through space…and time," Rintaro breathed. "And it's bigger on the inside. Somebody pinch me. Christina." That Kurisu could not even open her mouth to correct her name, or muster the movement to even slap him on the shoulder, told Rintaro how she was handling this. Frankly, he wasn't being super calm and collected himself.
"If you're done staring at a bunch of middle schoolers," said the Doctor as he and Nardole briskly stepped outside, "I have work to do."
"I wasn't staring at the middle schoolers!" Rintaro protested.
"I was," Itaru offered.
"You need to go back inside," Kurisu finally recovered, pointing back toward the doors whence they came, "and rethink your life." Her hand dropped as she continued, "Inside the…dimensionally transcendental…wooden time-travel box. Oh, God. I can feel myself going insane."
Itaru nodded sagely. "Mindbreak. It's a popular tag."
"I'm not sure you want to leave this man alone with the TARDIS," Nardole suggested to the Doctor. "He seems like the type of man who would find a way to sexually harass a machine."
"Good point," the Doctor agreed. "Nardole, you stay behind, too."
Nardole sputtered. "Wha- I didn't mean – I'm not gonna keep babysitting!"
"Goo goo," Itaru interjected.
"Oh please," the Doctor insisted, "it wouldn't be the first time I trusted you with the TARDIS. I'll see you later." With that, he, too, headed off in the direction of the school gate, the throng of middle schoolers sending the very out-of-place stranger confused glances in his direction.
"That man's gonna get arrested," Itaru declared.
"What makes you say that?" Rintaro asked.
Itaru shrugged. "He's a strange old man on a middle school campus with no sense of social cues or personal space."
"That's…a good point," Kurisu admitted. She turned to Nardole. "Is he always like this?"
"The Doctor?" With a twist of his lips, Nardole gave her a slow nod. "Yeah, he's a bit of an odd duck. He'll be alright, though."
"So he won't get arrested?" Mayuri asked.
"I didn't say that."
"Oh, no!" Suddenly, Mayuri whirled on Rintaro, her eyes shining with the beginnings of tears. "Okarin, you have to help him!"
"What?! Why me?"
"Well, he saved you, didn't he?"
"Actually, Miss Tomoe did that," Kurisu pointed out.
"Well, he helped!"
"Not really."
"And besides," Mayuri continued, "he's a fellow mad scientist! Mad scientists have to stick together, right? That's what you said!"
"Did I say that? When did I –" Seeing his childhood friend's pitiful expression, Rintaro cleared his throat. "Yes, well. Yes. I did say that."
"Then what are we waiting for?" Mayuri grabbed Rintaro's hand and pulled him forward. His exclamations of protest were rendered meaningless, as the two friends eventually joined the crowd as well.
"Hmm," Itaru mused aloud. "What was that word you used before? 'Sus?'"
"Yeah, slang from Earth about a decade from now," Nardole confirmed.
"Mayuri was sus," Itaru declared.
"Really?" Nardole frowned as he watched them recede into the distance. "I didn't notice."
"You might be overthinking it, Daru," Kurisu countered. "It wouldn't be the first time Mayuri's roped Okabe into something."
Itaru nodded, but didn't reply.
"Well, I wouldn't worry about it too much," Nardole commented. "All they're doing is going to school. What's the worst that could happen to a bunch of schoolkids?"
Sayaka Miki hit her desk. Except "her" does not here refer to Sayaka's own desk, but that of her friend, Madoka Kaname.
"There's a predator on the campus," Sayaka declared.
"Ehhh?!" Madoka's eyes were as wide as satellite dishes. "Sayaka, where is this coming from all of a sudden?!"
"Didn't you see that weird old man snooping around the building earlier?" Sayaka pressed her friend. "There's not a shred of him that seems trustworthy. I heard he was asking around, looking for a specific student. Oh, what was the name again…"
Madoka's eyes lit up in understanding. "Oh! You mean that Scotland Yard officer? He said he was here on some top secret business. I haven't seen him, but everyone's talking about it."
"Pfft." Sayaka flicked her blue hair back in disdain. "That's what he claims to be, but there's no way that's true. He doesn't act like a Scotland Yard agent at all. He acts all…weird."
"Well, didn't he show his ID to the principal?" Madoka pointed out. "That's what I heard, at least."
"Gotta be a fake," Sayaka surmised without a moment's hesitation.
"W-would the principal really fall for something like that?"
"Come on, Madoka. I know you're too nice to say it, but the principal is dumber than a rock. I'm telling you, that old snooper guy is totally suspicious."
"Hmm…" Madoka twisted a strand of pink hair as she pondered this. "But it just seems weird to show up so brazenly. Plus, everyone says he speaks Japanese perfectly, but looks like a foreigner…" Her eyes lit up as she said, "Oh! Maybe he's some kind of secret agent?"
Their speculation was cut short when the door opened to admit their homeroom teacher Ms. Saotome. After their customary rise and bow, Sayaka, Madoka, and the rest of the class resumed their seats, and as the morning school bell rang, their teacher began to speak.
"I have a very important issue to discuss today, so eyes front and ears open," Ms. Saotome declared in a grave manner unusual for her normally cheery demeanor. "The right way to fry an egg: sunny side up, or down?" She pointed her teacher's stick and cold-called one student sitting in the front row, saying, "Come on Nagazawa, I don't have all day."
"Huh? I, uh, well, uh…" Even though he'd already been chosen, Nagazawa still raised his hand as he answered, "I guess you can fry it either way, can't you?"
"Yes, precisely. You can fry it either way!" As her voice grew louder and more frantic, Ms. Saotome began swinging her stick like a rapier until she started bending it with two hands. "Therefore, it goes without saying that you should never judge a woman's beauty by the way she fries her EGGS!" At the last word, she snapped her stick in two, but the sight was too pathetic for anyone to flinch. "So remember, girls, don't associate with any man that refuses to eat any eggs sunny side down! And you boys better make sure you don't grow up to be men who complain about how the darn eggs are cooked, understand?"
Unaware of Sayaka and Madoka whispering to each other in the back, Ms. Saotome cleared her throat as her venting came to a close. Then her face took on its usually bright smile as she continued, "Well, now that that's out of the way, let's give a big warm welcome to our new classmate! Don't be shy, Miss Akemi – come in!"
The classroom buzzed with whispers as the new student entered. Boys nudged each other, their cheeks reddening; girls fawned and wondered. Homura Akemi paid them no attention. Even as the teacher invited her to introduce herself, her mind wasn't on the customary words she spoke by rote; nor on the name she finished writing on the whiteboard a hundred times; nor on the polite, but slightly puzzled applause from her "new" classmates. Instead, her eyes were focused on one pink-haired girl in the back of the room.
This time, Madoka, thought Homura as she stood at the front of the class. This time, it'll be different.
She didn't care how many times she'd said it before. She wasn't sure how much she believed it anymore – but she didn't care about that either. She had to believe. Failure was not an option.
On the end of a small blue "screwdriver," a blue light began to flash.
"Ohhh…" the Doctor breathed, gazing at his gadget in wonder. "Now we're talking."