Rin POV
I awaken the next morning completely uncomfortable. Drowsily, I reach out for Len, but he's not there. I open my eyes and blink while glancing around, and remember last night. My eyes start to fill with tears as I feel so stupid.
Why did I push him away? I wanted it, still want it. It's wrong, I scold myself, but I can't help it. I love him so much. I bury my head into the pillow and hear soft knocks. I wonder why he does that if he is just going to come in. and come in he does.
"Rin?" He whispers, in case I'm asleep.
"What?" I reply, barely audible.
I hear him walk closer and closer. "I wanted to apologize." I frown into my pillow. I don't know what he thinks, but this cannot be good.
He sits on the bed.
"Rin, I-" He stops, as if he doesn't want to say it. I peek up at him from beneath my hair. He looks downcast and mournful. He turns his eyes to me and I subtly hide again. I feel a soft touch on my hair as he strokes it, and I shiver, because it makes me want to throw my arms around him, have his gentle hands everywhere.
He stops at my reaction though, and pulls his hand away.
"Rin, I'm so sorry… I didn't mean to upset you, or confuse you…You are my sister, and I don't ever want to hurt you. I promise…I will never touch you like that again. It wasn't right, and I'm sorry I disregarded your feelings like that."
I gasp into my pillow, but it is muffled. No no no. This is not what I want. It is what's right, but I don't want that. He took my reaction wrong. I wasn't disgusted by the action or angry. I was angry at myself and sure was confused. Why did I have these feelings?
I started to cry into my pillow, trying to be silent about it. He murmured another apology and left. I mourned his absence. Would he never hold my hand again? Never hug me, hold me? I began to sob harder. I should just march in there. Tell him what I feel. What I think. But I can't. Why is this so hard? Why can't I remember anything, and why can't I just love him as a brother, like I'm supposed to?
Fate obviously hates me, or just thinks I'm a huge joke. I punch a pillow angrily. I want to leave, leave all this and go away and forget. But that is the problem in the first place! I sit up. I have to do something.
I marched to lens door, and pushed it open. However, I lose all courage as I see him, sitting bent over on his bed, his head in his hands. His shirt is undone, exposing his chest. He looks up as I abruptly slam open the door.
"Rin?" he asks as I stand in the doorway, my knees shaking.
"Don't be sad." I say stupidly. "I'm not mad." I don't know what else to say, but he's staring at me, confused, and I have no explanation.
I shift hesitantly. "Let's just pretend it never happened." I say. That's what I want right? And it would be much better than him acting differently. He stands up slowly, his eyes never leaving mine. He searches my eyes, and I cannot look away from his. He nods.
Shifting again, I inhale deeply and walk across the floor and he hesitantly pulls me in for a hug. I feel much better with him holding me, but I know he's feeling the same way I do: constricted.
Len POV
People are talking about Rin and I ever since we both ran out of the theater. I am so busy with work, I didn't notice it for a while, but once again Rin's maid tells me of it and alerts me that Rin barely leaves her room because of it. I thank god for such a wonderful maid, and try to think of something to do about it.
Unfortunately, courts are critical, gossipy, and impossible to stifle. And I can hardly take time to be with Rin more, there is talk of war. However, I decide to talk to her privately about it.
I steal into her room one night, since we don't sleep together anymore. We said things would be the same, but not really. I miss her.
"Rin?" I whisper, closing the conjoining door. She rustles around and sits up in her bed to look at me.
"What is it?" She asks. Melody curls around her side to sit in her lap. I creep closer and sit hesitantly on her bed.
For a moment, I just look at Rin in the moonlight. Her pale, creamy skin glows, and her petite body is masked by her thin nightgown. She is so beautiful, my sister. I frown to myself and try to ignore my own thoughts.
"I wanted to see if you are ok. I…noticed you stay in here a lot." She ducks her head down, staring at hand, which strokes the cats back again and again.
"I'm fine Len." She sighs. "Don't worry." I frown, she's lying.
"You shouldn't listen to what anyone says, Rin." I say quietly. "Don't you see, they are just jealous." She looks up.
"They most certainly are not." She protests. I smile and shake my head, replying, "They are."
"Why in the world would they be jealous?" She demands. "Don't lie to me!" She huffs, and then lies back down in bed, pulling the covers up. Melody is upset by this sudden change and clambers into my lap. I stroke her gently to calm her.
"Rin! Listen!" I command, laughing. I pull at her covers. She flings them back.
"What?" she shouts. I try not to laugh at her cute red face.
"They are jealous because you are so beautiful and sweet, and not like any of them. And because we are twins." I smile at her, but subtly sit on my hand to keep from reaching out to touch her soft skin, or stroke her hair. Or just grab her, pulling her to me…
"Whatever. It's not true." She huffs, her face getting pinker with embarrassment. She hides under the covers again.
"Goodnight Rin." I say softly, placing her cat beside her huddled figure. I love you, I think to myself.
Something I said must have struck a chord with her, because I soon get reports that she now is finally getting out of her room. Sometimes to traipse around the garden, or to explore the castle, or to play cards with other ladies of the court. And win, apparently. I see her sometimes, in the halls, and she smiles at me, occasionally gripping my hand lightly.
Lately, she comes to visit me while I work, her maids following her around like obedient ducklings.
"What are you doing Len?" She sighs, leaning over my shoulder as I sit at my desk. I frown at all the paperwork.
"Passing laws." I mumble. She sighs again and looks out the window. I often work in my own bedroom, but now I'm in my formal office. It's huge, with many windows overlooking the front courtyard. It is decorated with red and gold, a thick, embroidered mural rug on the floor and heavy velvet drapes by the windows. Personally, the room is a bit stuffy for my tastes, but the prince works in his office, so is the tradition.
"Lenny…" Rin trails off, coming back at my side. I look up; she never uses my old nickname.
Her face is thoughtful. Her eyes trail over to her ladies.
"Do you want them…?" I ask. She purses her lips and nods. I dismiss her maids, and she sits casually on my desk, settling her skirts.
"What is it Rin?" I ask nervously. She licks her lips and looks from the window to me.
"Tell me what happened Len. To you, to our parents…" She shifts awkwardly and doesn't meet my eyes. My heart pounds, and the words explode from my mouth.
"Have you remembered Rin? Anything?" I exclaim, and she frowns darkly.
"Don't you think I would have come to you if I had, jumping into your arms like I know you?" She says frostily. I sit down and let go of the hand I had seized from her nodding, wishing I hadn't been so hopeful. Of course she would have told me.
"I just would like to know." She continues. "Maybe it will spark some memories." She adds, rolling her eyes.
"I've heard a little of it, I mean it's pretty known well, but only vaguely…and I suspect your tale will be quite different." She stares off again, and my face slackens with sadness. I turn my chair towards her and grab her hand. She looks to me, startled.
"On two conditions." I insist. She stares at me, and slowly nods.
"One; I don't want you to think when I tell you this, or repeat it. Just listen, and don't take anything to heart." I swallow hard.
"And don't let go…" I mumble, looking away. "I don't like to talk about this." She slides off the desk to my feet, still holding my hand, and sits on the thick carpet. Leaning her head against my knee, she squeezes my hand lightly, encouraging me to go on. I nod, and start to think back…
"Hide here while I distract them. Don't come out until I tell you ok? Promise me." I say frantically as I hear the soldiers start pounding on the locked door. I hear them shouting our names, they must have figured out we are part of the royal family. Rin shakes her head and continues to cry, her pudgy hands reaching out for me. I give in, wrapping my arms around her for a swift hug, feeling my small twin in my arms before I let go. I slip the piece of candy into her hand and kiss her forehead.
"Pretend its hide and seek ok?" I urge. "Stay quiet until I find you." She nods tearfully, gripping the candy in her hand. Her tear filled blue eyes are the last thing I see before I shut the door on her. I run to the opposite corner of the room just as the soldiers burst in.
"Boy! You are Prince Len, yes?" I nod, no words being able to come out of my mouth as I press up against the corner. I must lead them away, away from Rin. Please Rin, stay in there. Stay.
Two soldiers in red come up to grasp both of my arms. I struggle, protests immediately flying out of my mouth, but I grow silent, knowing my shouts will only alarm Rin. A solider strides up to me.
"Where is your sister boy?" He asks. I wince as his sour breath hits me. He grabs me by my unkempt blond hair, which has fallen out of the small ponytail I usually keep it in, just like our father. I feel tears well up as I think of my father, who I will never speak to or see again. The man shakes me roughly with his grip, and I try my best not to cry out.
"Where is she?" he demands.
"Dead! You killed her!" I scream out. He looks drawn back, and straightens, releasing my head.
"Take him into custody and search the bodies. I want to make sure." He says after a long beat of silence. The soldiers drag me away. I quickly take one last look at the sideboard, where the door to the cupboard stands closed. I feel relief flow through me. Good girl. I go limp with relief, and black out.
I wake up bound in rope to arguing. I am leaning against something warm, but I cannot turn and see it. The red soldiers are all around, yelling t each other, sometimes gesturing to me. One spots me awake, and walks over to grab me, dragging me to a chair. Sitting my bound self upright in it, they tie me to it as a tall one with a greasy beard eyes me.
"Ah, Prince Len. You will answer some questions now, yes?" I stare at them wordlessly. Suddenly, I am knocked over with a slap to the face. I would have fallen to the floor, bringing the chair with me, but some one behind me catches it, jerking me back. My cheek stings and smarts, my whole face heating up as tears spill, but I cannot even cradle my cheek.
"Where is your sister?" he sneers, bringing his face close to mine. I cry and shake my head.
"Tell us!" He roars, bring his hand back.
"You killed her!" I scream out. He smiles, lowering his hand, but it is not a kind smile. It is one of how a cruel man looks before ordering someone to do something horrendous.
"We did not. We checked the bodies." He nods to my previous resting place, a red, blood soaked corner piled high with bodies of people I know, my parents at the bottom. I feel my consciousness leaving me as I begin to scream again, realizing what the warm wet dampness was on my back. I struggle, thrashing against the ropes, trying to see anything but. They drag me towards it, closer and closer. I see my mother's horror stricken face with blood of others streaming down her dark hair and light skin. Her eyes are still open, the blue orbs gleaming with the sheen of death. I close my eyes, but fingernails dig into my eyelids, forcing them open.
"Tell us…" Says the hot air wafting into my earlobe. "Or else you will join them." I shake and tears blur my vision until it is red, and I bite my tongue so hard blood spills into my taste buds. I taste the copper. I whimper, I just want to go away, find Rin and hold my sweet sister, hide us both so I don't ever have to see this…she would know what to do…
I keep crying and sobbing as I wish for my spunky twin. Rin would never be this weak. I thrash my body again and kick the solider hard. He gasps, and I am surprised by my own strength.
"Get him away!" The man gasps, holding his crotch, where I must have kicked. They drag me away, finally away from the death. I look around and realize where I am. I am still in the palace, but it has changed. Darkness and the stench of blood haunt the hallways. Suddenly our journey is cut short by a soldier who runs up.
"The enemies… from the old king… they are coming!" he heaves. The guard dragging me mutters an oath and looks at me.
"I need to tell the general…" he glances back at the room then at my pale face. "But what do we do with the boy? Kill him?" I feel my eyes widen. The other one looks at me and shakes his head.
"There's no time, we need to get out! The general will kill you if you kill him!"
"Fine…" they bring me with them and explain the situation to the general, the greasy bearded man I kicked. He glares at me.
"We will take him with us. He is too valuable. Pack everyone up and get moving! Leave the goods!" he screams. I am unbound from the chair and carried through the destroyed halls to the front courtyard, and I frantically twist around, looking for her. I hope she hasn't left her hiding spot, but what happens if we leave? I am supposed to rescue her!
Guards are everywhere as they rush out the door. I try not to see it, but my home, the palace is completely destroyed. Windows broken, blood everywhere, furniture broken. As I am taken down the hallway, I have to try not to cry even more. My tears sting my eyes when we walk out the door, the cold air blowing into my face. Suddenly the shouts that I've heard are even louder and I see the source of the solders' alarm.
Rising over the hill past the fence, are more soldiers, but dressed in a familiar hue of blue. The red soldiers on this side of the fence raise and ready their arms. I feel my mouth go dry as I see this sight and feel a metal blade on my throat. I dare not swallow; only roll my eyes up to see the greasy bearded man from before, the general. He grits his teeth, staring at the gate and incoming threat. Muttering something to the solider holding me, we walk through the crowd.
The soldiers part and silence as they hold me up. I shiver in terror and my eyes go to a window on the north side, where my sister is. Hopefully she is still safely tucked in her cupboard. It would kill me if she was thrust in this situation as well. I am almost positive I'm going to die. Will I be used as a distraction? I bite my lip in another effort not to cry, but this time it's futile. Tears slide down and I duck my head in shame. I am a man, men aren't supposed to cry. I never saw my father cry.
We approach the fence, and so does a few blue soldiers, weapons ready.
"Let go of him." They shout as soon as they are in earshot. The hands on me tighten possessively as we reach the fence.
"How about we make a deal." The general sneers. I shake at his voice."We won't kill the little prince here, and you let everyone of us go." The blue men frown and look at me. The oldest one with a gray beard stares at me.
"Where is the rest of the royal family? His sister, their parents?" He asks angrily. A bark of a laugh sounds in my ear.
"All dead. But this little one here doesn't have to join him. It's your choice." I start to sweat even in the frigid air. I must tell someone about Rin, she's alive, in the cupboard! But if I say something now, the red men will go and find her. I keep silent but tremble.
"One of the blue soldiers whispers into the older man's ear and he sighs and nods. This makes a cold flash of fear run through me; am I to die, and Rin never to be found?
"We will let you go, but do not harm him." The old man says sadly, his words a visible puff of air.
"Glad to hear it. We will open the gates, you will retreat. As soon as every one of my men is through the gate and on the road, we will hand him over to one solider of yours. You are not to follow us, or we will attack immediately. Understood?"
"Yes." The man says. He repeats this to more blue soldiers and they walk back, away from the gate.
I am held in constricting arms as the red ones file past me, hurrying to get away. I struggle, but am only held tighter. When the agreement is in place, the old man steps up to the hill to me and the greasy man. He removes his sword, and I am released.
I am scooped up into the old man's arms tightly, but a different type of tight. I have no idea who he is, but I know he's safe. I open my mouth to tell him about Rin when we are suddenly falling. I am hit in the head and we fall into the icy snow. The old man is bleeding from his own blow, and his own blood stains the snow we lay on. I feel my senses blurring and fading as the world goes black once again, the last thing I see is the blood, and I hear the shouts of a raging war.
Rin stares at me now, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. I shake my head sadly.
"That man was our grandfather, come to rescue us. We both recovered of course, but many people were killed on both sides. The enemy general was trying to kill us both; the last of the royal family, but luckily our side was prepared for such a betrayal. When I awoke, it was in a tent hours later. I immediately told them about you, and the whole palace was searched, but you were nowhere to be found." I look up at her, an unsaid question on my lips. She grips my hand tighter.
"I'm so sorry Len… are you alright?" She asks. I smile and nod.
"I am now that I've found you." I reply honestly. She looks down. I try and hold back my question again.
"If I knew, I would tell you, Len. But I don't remember anything like that." She says quietly, as if reading my mind. I restrain a sigh.
"But you remember something?" I inquire, hope slipping into my question. She looks away.
"I don't know…sometimes it seems like it, but it also seems like something I could have imagined. I just don't know." I nod, and she lets go of my hand and stands.
"I'm sorry." She says. Her dress rustles and I stare at her slim figure, her blue eyes shimmering.
"Don't be." I asserted. "It cannot be changed, only now matters." She smiles at me and unexpectedly leans down, kissing my cheek softly, her soft lips brushing my cheek lovingly.
"Thank you." She murmurs. "I'll see you later." She walks out into the hall, and the door closes behind her, the murmurs of her awaiting ladies being cut off by the door as well. I sigh and turn my chair to the window, staring out, the memories still flowing over me.
Remember Rin…please.
A/N I had a huge inspiration over the weekend and wrote about half of this... and now I'm procrastinating studying for my math final! Soon my finals will be over though, and on Friday I will be free! Updates all around! XD Anyways, this is a HUGE chapter due to my imagination running away and Len's flashback. I hope you guys like! Thanks for all the reviews last time and for wishing me luck with my finals, I appreciate it so, so much! I couldn't help and write a whole new chapter!
Anyways~
Rilliane l'Austriche~ Rin is a little blind, and stubborn of course! But perhaps soon she will give in...
Vocaloid Lover~ Done! Aw thank you! I like them too, I guess that's why I write them! I usually dont even attempt things like Sci-fi! XD
Kagaminevii~ XD Wooooo! Oh yea she's in denial...that stubborn, stubborn girl! XD I'm glad you like, I thought the shoe was pretty funny myself, but I try not to laugh at my own stuff! XD Thank you!
AbominableToast~ Thank you! I'll try to update as fast as possible then! ;D
Saa-san~ It's fine! I'm honored you even read it, never less review! So thank you! Ah, you were right ;D Aw, don't cry! D: I'm sorry! TAT Thank you, I will do my best!
MaximumPhantomhive~ Aw thank you! Not a twincest fan? I usually can go either way~ Thank you again! I'll try to update fast!
My testing ends Thursday :P So far it's gone well, thank you! Thank you again!
Lunag6~ Thank you! Oh she sees, but she is a stubborn, confused girl... TAT
Thank you all again, I will try to update once more before the holidays! Either the next chapter or the one afterward will be a BIG chapter plotwise, so GET READY! XD Bye!