" We shall never cease from exploration,
And the end of all our exploring,
Will be to arrive where we started,
And to know the place for the first time."
- T.S. Eliot
Chapter 4: The First Time
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And so, it was then I met him for the first time. I did not know at that time, that Sesshoumaru and I were soon to be betrothed, and he was to become my future husband. I didn't know that I would fly away to a land, far, far away from my own home to make a new home for myself.
I still remember that first time….
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Tokyo, 1961
Kagome uncomfortably fidgeted on the tatami mats. They were slipping underneath the folds of the rich silks she wore. She was seated in the right position, on her knees, with her back straight. Though she still hated the kimono, she lovingly fingered the obi.
The obi was her mother's and she usually wore it with her best kimono. The huge red silk sash was beautifully embroidered with delicate, shimmering, golden clouds and silver rain was falling from them, onto flowers in brilliant hues, with bright green leaves. As light fell on the obi, it seemed that the flowers were gaily swaying in a red breeze. The obi set off her kimono quite well, and it didn't look so gaudy anymore.
Kagome was not a very patient person, so she just kept looking down at the tatami mats, figuring out what colour they were. Sometimes she felt they were beige, but she could see some different textures and colours in them too. Some were light brown; a few had a light chocolate colour towards their frayed edges. Some had a greenish hue, and others were just plain, arranged together like ordinary people, with unremarkable faces.
Her grandfather's excitement was palpable. He was nervously walking to and fro, as if he was expecting the Emperor himself. The house had been decorated in an ostentatious manner, with the richest cushions and best ornaments to adorn the rooms. However, Kagome's only comfort was that her mother was sitting beside her, patting her sleeve. Kagome managed a weak smile.
Just then, the head-servant came in to announce the arrival of the guests and their imminent entry to the home. Her grandfather went outside, bearing an over-eager smile, to welcome them.
The sound of shuffling feet, a woman's tinkling laughter, and her Grandfather's voice was heard.
Kagome was still staring at the tatami mats, trying to act as if she was keeping her head bowed down in respect. She saw a tall silhouette, reflected by the afternoon light on the mats.
She looked up, and saw him for the first time.
The stormy blue-gray sky met its complement, the strong gold sunrays.
And then the first cycle began.
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Later that night, after dinner…
" So Kagome, I hear from your grandfather that you have quite a few talents," said Izayoi, smiling. "I hear you can sing, dance, cook, sew…."
" Oh, my father-in-law does tend to exaggerate a bit. But thank you all the same.", Kaoru Higurashi replied, to a slight glare from the patriarch of the family. Kagome, however, was transfixed by the man in front of her. She had never seen anyone with this kind of hair and eyes. And the fact that he was very handsome did not help. She could almost see herself with her friends, giggling over Sesshoumaru the next day. They would sigh when she would tell him about him, and be jealous of her.
Her train of thoughts was interrupted by her grandfather's voice. " So, young man, I hear you are working in London."
" Yes", Sesshoumaru replied, with a nod of his head. He seemed to be a person who spoke very little, Kagome gathered. Others would have spoken some more, giving details, and some even going to the extent of boasting. But he was very quiet.
" What do you think of London, child?", came a sudden question from Izayoi to Kagome. She cleared her throat, and replied, " I have heard it is a large and bustling city. I've seen a few pictures of the various palaces there." " Oh, yes, London has many large and beautiful palaces.", Izayoi said.
" I hear it is also infested with many insects. Kagome has a friend there, who wrote something about beetles.", Kagome's mother stated very seriously. At this, Kagome almost burst out laughing, while Izayoi smiled widely. Even Sesshoumaru managed a small smile.
" No, Mother, Ayumi talked about the Beatles. They are a music group of England." Her mother sheepishly looked down, muttering apologies.
" Well, Higurashi-san, why don't we let the children talk in private for some time? It is their life, after all." Izayoi Taisho said. Seeing, the scandalized look on his face, she quickly replied, " Of course, if you have any reservations, then…" " Oh, no!" Ryujiro Higurashi said, quickly hiding his initial discomfiture at her suggestion. " Marriage is a delicate affair. Things should be handled carefully, especially in these changing times."
He nodded in his granddaughter's direction. But Kagome was in a daze. Marriage? So this was what the whole dinner was about. The preparations, the anticipation, everything….
She was still in a daze when her mother helped her up, and coaxed her outside into the gardens.
XXXXXKagome saw him follow her outside to the gardens after some time. After the shock, she had somehow managed to collect herself. She stood silently when he came.
" I assume you knew nothing about this.', he said matter-of-factly. " However, my mother seems to like you, and if she accepts this alliance, then I will also agree to it."
She just nodded her head. " You are right. I didn't know anything about this."
Sesshoumaru looked at her again, and this time, into her eyes. " I have given my decision. Now it is totally yours."
Before she had time to answer, lightning crackled in the sky, and a shout of thunder was heard. The unreliable skies of Tokyo suddenly burst in shower and quick rain started pouring.
" I think we should go back.", saying this Sesshoumaru retraced his footsteps.
But Kagome still stood in the unexpected rain, as it lashed the trees, and swept mud away. The rain made her elaborate bun come loose, and wet wisps of hair framed her face. The rain also did not spare the kimono and the obi. Along with the flowers, wet drops soaked the beautiful cloth.
For the first time, Kagome did not enjoy the rain. She didn't know that it had interrupted a life-altering conversation.
For now, she stood alone in the rain, a confused, troubled young woman.