Legal Drug

When it comes down to it-

Chapter 6

Disclaimer:

Before I forget, again… (Past chapters without a disclaimer… look at the first one, dammit) I do not own CLAMP's Legal Drug (Lawful Drug, Gohou(spelling?) Drug… whatever you want to call it) in any way shape, or form. I do however (I think) own Kouji… who was a creation of my sick, twisted mind… I know you all have some grudge against him. ;

Author's notes:

Warnings: Uhm… torture? And rape, though I'm not going to write it again, because I know you probably all hate me for that. So, uhm… sorry if you don't like this chapter! I had to throw it in here…. It just makes more sense since uhm… Kouji's uh… (Coughs) dead… yep, dead (leers).

(A/N: Oh, by the way… this part will be from Kazahaya's point of view…a memory, for now. I'll switch back from his POV later.)

It was cold, and damp. The walls smelt musty from the lack of air circulation, and all I could do was lay there. It was so dark down here. If you waved your hand in front of my face, I'm sure I wouldn't be able to see it. Though my eyes were adjusted to the darkness… it felt as if there was more and more constantly moving in around me, blocking off my vision of this place. If you had asked me what hell was like, I'm sure I'd be able to answer. But, this was something much worse than hell.

The silence in the room was deafening, you could hear a pin drop. Though my breathing was shallow, it sounded loud, and harsh in my ears. And, yet… I lay there on the cold, hard floor staring off into nothingness. Maybe if I tried hard enough light would appear and push the darkness away.

Often enough I had been down here to know that when he got mad, it was best not to make any noise. If I were "good" enough, he'd come down and reconsider his punishment. He would crouch next to me, and apologize… telling me everything was going to be all right, and I needn't worry. The windows had been caged and boarded. The only way out of here was the door up those creaky stairs. But that too was locked. Locked from the outside by a heavy metal padlock. So I stayed where I was. My back burned from the beating, my whole body screamed in agony.

But I was used to it. No matter what I said or did, it was never enough. I felt like a broken plaything left to rot at the bottom of the toy bin. I was useless, and I knew I was… he made sure of that. He probably went out again, to get drunk day after day. I was a caged animal, to him, nothing more. Broken, useless, and in agony. This time's beating was much worse than any other. All I said was, "How was your day?" Did that really seem like such a bad thing to say to someone who had just come home? It much have been because he grabbed me from the kitchen, and opened the basement door.

He said, "Don't patronize me," and threw me down the stairs. It hurt as the concrete steps dug into my flesh, leaving deep angry gashes. He descended the stairs, as I lay in a crumpled heap at the bottom, beating me till I was too weak to even scream. As usual I lay there on the floor shaking and bleeding. When he tired out, the beating stopped. And I heard him walk away… I thought he was leaving, but rustling behind me said otherwise. I was roughly grabbed and yanked backwards… dragged across the floor. I was turned over, so that my back was on the ground. The open gashes on my back stung, as they were irritated further.

My wrists were grabbed and my arm was stretched at an unnatural angle. I hissed in pain, he obviously got enjoyment from other's pain. "Get off…please?" I pleaded with him to let me go, just this one time… I would try even harder to make things better. I could hear the smirk in his voice as he said, "Give me one good reason why I should." I didn't have an answer… maybe he was right. Maybe I was better off down here anyway, and then I could hide from the world, and everything he's made me.

Cool metal chains where wrapped around each wrist, and pulled tightly. He must have installed hook on the wall or something because the chains that had been linked in the middle were pulled up, along with my wrists bound to the, and hooked onto something close by, and my arms were stretched even more. He bent down so that his lips were next to my ear, "Be good while I'm gone, Kazahaya." I jerked my head away from him, trying to distance myself in any way. This time his footsteps really did lead away, and I was left there, as the only light from the door was blocked off leaving everything in that blanket of darkness.

My arms had gone numb, and I couldn't feel them anymore. My blood was smeared on the floor, gathering in a small pool next to me. This was my favorite shirt, too… I know he didn't want me to wear it in public. Hours passes and nothing but silence, no sounds from upstairs or down. And I must have passed out finally from the pain, because when I awoke, I could feel the eyes on me. I tried to sit up, but was pulled down just as quickly. I didn't know who was there, as soft footsteps padded along to my left. My heart was beating hard in my chest; maybe he had finally come home. Drunk again, from his long night out at his usual bar hangout. But that wasn't the case. I closed my eyes trying to think of anyway to get away from here.

All plans demolished, when my face was nuzzled. I jerked away from the touch and a questioning "meow" came from next to me. I sighed in relief, realizing that it was only my cat, Taka. That was the only thing he hadn't gotten rid of. "Hey…" My voice was hoarse. "Can you get me out of here, little one?" The cat purred softly, and snuggled close to me. I sighed, "Guess not." I don't know why he hadn't gotten rid of the cat. But I was glad for the company.

I never really understood why I was being punished for the things I did. All I knew was that he had a lot of hostility, and I was a prime target of that pent up rage. When I refused to do something I was hit. One time, when I refused to have sex with him, he chained me to the bed. He was really drunk that night, so he pulled out a box cutter like I was a damn piece of paper. Slicing into my skin he tore me to ribbons, so to speak. I still have the scars from that night. I've even been burned a few times…not by accident. You would thing that turning on the fireplace in the winter would warm up a room… too bad it warmed up my hand as well.

I wasn't allowed outside without him being there. At first when he started beating me, I'd leave the house for a while… find a place to stay till things cooled down at home. Often time, I'd go to the park to seek refuge there, people walking their pets at night would stop and ask if I was all right out here by myself. When I'd look up to them, they'd see the ugly bruises on my face… I didn't want to get him arrested or anything so I told them I walked into a door, or was just a klutz. Now I see how wrong I was for lying to those kind-hearted people.

But then the beatings got more frequent… and he started locking me in the basement while he was out to make sure that I wouldn't even dare think of leaving. Once I was reminded of that, as he dragged me back home from my safe haven, and thrown down here again. You'd think that after being down here so long, a person would get accustomed to the surroundings and such. But that wasn't the case this was my living hell. And I was too scared to help myself.

Eventually, around what I thought to be four or five in the morning, heavy footsteps resonated through the wood floors on the ceiling down here. They stopped when the door was closed, and locked. Then they started moving again, slowly towards the basement door. I shooed Taka away, telling him to find a safe place to hide till later, I didn't want anything happening to my pet. He questioningly meowed a few times, before turning and scampering off, I was glad he was a smart cat.

The padlock to the basement door was unlocked and thrown to the floor with a loud clanking noise. The door was roughly thrown open, the light from upstairs flooding in, blinding me. I turned my head away, blinking profusely trying to adjust to the sudden change in atmosphere. The stairs were descended upon two at a time. The heaving footsteps were getting closer by the second, till he stopped- clothes rustling telling me that he was kneeling besides me again. I knew what was going to happen… just like always. I was powerless to stop it and if I resisted it would only be more painful for me. I didn't want to get hurt anymore than I had to, so I let it happen. I was used to it, used to the pain and torture. Used to the constant abuse and rape.

Over and over it happened, so why should this time be any different? After he was done, he lay next to me telling me how good I was being. How much he loved me… if this was love, and then I would really like to see compassion. I was his toy, his broken beaten… bleeding toy. He didn't care if I lived or died. Couldn't he se I didn't love him anymore? That moving in here was mistake?

The pain hurt, not just physically, but mentally too, I was slowly dying inside and out. He sighed and got up, putting his clothes back on; I had been drifting in and out of consciousness for the past few minutes. I was tired and broken, all I wanted to do was lay here on the floor forever wishing for that one-day things would change. "And that's why it's over…" I blinked trying to comprehend what little I had heard.

"What?" I asked, confused. He turned to me smirking maliciously, "I said, and that's why it's over, my pet." I was roughly grabbed, unhooked from the wall and pulled to my feet. I blinked, dazed, my head was spinning in agony. My whole body ached, it screamed in pain. He let go of me and I fell to the ground too weak to stand on my own. I hit the floor with a loud thud; only the floor hit back this time, and pain surged through my head. I groaned, not about to try and stay conscious, I didn't know what he was talking about, and I honestly didn't care at this point. My vision was clouding over and I could distantly hear him saying, "Get up," before I let the darkness consume me.

When I woke up, I didn't know where I was. I was lying down on some sort of cushion. Immediately my headache flared up again, and I closed my eyes fighting the nausea. "Oh, so you're awake, I'm glad." I opened my eyes again, and turned in the direction of the voice. I looked over and saw him in front of me. I was in a car… being driven somewhere, because he was in the front seat driving. I slowly sat up and noticed that my clothes had been changed. I was wearing a jacket of some sort, a fresh shirt, and jeans. I even had sneakers on. I thought how lame I must have looked. Though I was grateful for the jacket because from the looks of it, it had begun to snow again.

It was dark out, and I glanced at the clock next to the radio. It read 7:05 p.m. I didn't know how long we were driving for, or when we left, but I must have been unconscious for most of yesterday.

"Where are we going?" I asked, only just noticing the abandoned roadways. We really didn't live in the middle of nowhere, but a good distance away from the city. He glanced at me in the rear view mirror, "Oh, I didn't tell you?" He shook his head, that ever so famous smirk returning to his face, he had a wild look in his eye. "Last night, I met someone at the bar. We went to his place, and well… Kazahaya, I'm seeing him now. You understand, right?" He pulled off the turnpike, into a secluded area. A million thoughts raced through my head. He met someone else? And where the hell were we going, anyway?

"Don't worry…" There were no lights here, I had no idea where we were going, and I was scared. Maybe he was going to try and kill me once and for all, so that he could be with this… whoever he had met the night before. "What are you talking about?" I asked, halfheartedly, wishing that maybe this were some sort of sick joke. He looked back again, his eyes narrowed, "I said I met someone, cooperate and I won't have to make this harder than it already is. Got it, kid?"

I nodded, somberly. I didn't want to get hit again, so my only choice was to obey him. I sat back in the seat, suddenly remembering that Taka was till a home. I leaned forward again, asking, "What about Taka? Where is he?" His brow furrowed, "Who?" Did he get rid of the cat; I bit my lip to hold back the tears. "Taka… my cat." My heart raced, I didn't know what to think. "Oh, your cat… he was a burden anyway, you don't need him where you're going." He smiled, turning his attention back to the road. My only friend was gone… the one person who loved me as much as I loved it… and not some sick sort of love, was gone.

I leaned back again; I hadn't realized I was crying till I tasted the salty mixture. I reached up to touch my cheek, looking at the wetness on my fingers. He looked back at me again, "Come on now, don't cry. You can always get another cat." I turned away from him, staring out the window. "I'm sorry," he said. Only, it sounded like a curse rather than an apology when he said it, and I knew he didn't mean it. He never did. I didn't care anyway; I would be rid of him. He pulled took a sharp left, and pulled over onto the side of the road. He got out, and went around opening my door. We weren't far from the city… at least I didn't think we were. He yanked me out of the car, gripping my arm hard enough to leave bruises. "What are you doing?" I asked, trying to pull my arm away.

He walked a little ways up the road, still dragging me. And abruptly stopped, shoving me hard. I tripped and fell on the ground, putting my hand out to brace the fall. Only there was something sharp on the ground that bit into my palms. It hurt, and I knew I was bleeding. He had turned around and was walking in the opposite direction. I got up, "Where are you going?" I asked, only now knowing what his intentions where. "Away." He turned back around, "You can find your way from here…" He smirked again, raising one of his eyebrows. His twisted smile could bring even the toughest of men to his knees. "Goodbye for now… my pet."

I watched him as he got into his car, and drove away. I had nowhere to go… absolutely nowhere at all. I was alone on in a deserted area, and it was snowing. The white flakes of snow should look comforting, but I only saw them as little white sins… sins for what I had done, because by now… I knew that it was somehow my fault I had ended up in this mess.

Kazahaya bolted upright in bed, looking around in the darkness. It too him a moment to realize that he was still in the hospital next to Rikuou. I must have fallen asleep, he though, sighing. Rikuou stirred next to him, yawning he sat up next t Kazahaya. "Did you have a bad dream?" Rikuou asked, noting how Kazahaya looked. There were dried tearstains on his cheeks, and he looked like he had a restless night.

Kazahaya shook his head, "Well… no… I mean, not exactly." Rikuou looked at Kazahaya questioningly. It had been a few days since Rikuou had been in the hospital; he was going to be released in a day or so. Kazahaya had come to visit him everyday since he had first been brought here by ambulance. "It was a memory, from the day you found me..." Kazahaya looked away. Rikuou nodded, "Oh, I see." He sighed and hopped out of bed. (A/N: Now, I know he should have wires in him and stuff that would prevent that, but… that took 'em out, okay? Just go with it… the heart monitor's uhm… built in?)

It was about seven in the morning; the sun was only beginning to rise… which seemed pretty late. Kazahaya blinked, "Where are you going?" Rikuou shrugged, "Just walking around." Kazahaya got up, "I don't think you should be out of bed." He walked over to Rikuou, "I'm fine, stop worrying." Rikuou waved him off. Kazahaya crossed his arms over his chest, "Are you sure?" Rikuou nodded, "Pretty sure."

Rikuou opened the door to his room, motioning Kazahaya to follow him. They walked down the halls of the mostly empty hospital, passing only a few nurses on their way. "So…" Rikuou broke the silence, "You want to talk about your dream? You kept tossing and turning last night." Kazahaya stopped walking, and Rikuou turned around. Kazahaya was looking down at the floor, "…I…"

Rikuou put an arm around Kazahaya; "We don't have to talk about it… if you don't want." Kazahaya turned and hugged Rikuou, burying his face in the crook of Rikuou's neck. And he cried… for the first time in years he had really just cried. Letting out all the past anguish he had felt towards the man he despised most of all. Rikuou hugged Kazahaya back; assuring him that he wouldn't le anyone hurt him like that again. He didn't have to hear Kazahaya talk about it to know what he had dreamt of. He could only offer comfort, and hateful promises of torture to wherever Kouji was now.

After a while of crying Kazahaya's sobs had settled down to slight hiccups, and sniffling every now and then. "Better now?" Rikuou asked, pulling back to look at Kazahaya. He nodded in response, looking away. "Come on, we'd better get out of the hallway, before people start asking us why we're out here." Kazahaya nodded and let Rikuou lead him back to the room.

"Excuse me, nurse, have you seen— Oh, there you are!" A short stubby man, in a hospital coat, came running down the hall, towards the two. Rikuou looked over to the man, who was clearly out of breath from the short distance run, probably smoked. "Oh, Rikuou I found you." He said, exasperated. Rikuou cocked an eyebrow at the man. "I went to your room, but no one was there… good thing I found you in time." Kazahaya and Rikuou both exchanged looks, "Found me for what?" Rikuou asked, confused at the man's abruptness.

"Oh!" He waved his hand apologetically, "Forgive me. The man that was brought in with you the other night was declared dead officially as of 3:45 a.m. that morning." Kazahaya's eyes widened, and Rikuou gave the man a skeptical look, "Well… that's—"

The man held his hand up, "Not good news at all." Rikuou narrowed his eyes, "What do you mean?" The man adjusted his glasses on his face. "So sorry to prolong this, I mean it's not good news because… and I now this is going to sound crazy, but… it seems that he's, well… disappeared." Kazahaya stepped forward, "What? What do you mean vanished? That's not possible!" The man backed up a little, "Uhm… we went to perform the autopsy and… his body was gone. It wasn't where the man had left it. When he opened the drawer and pulled out the shelf, there was no body. I'm terribly sorry…" The man bowed, and left the two in a hurry just as soon as his pager when off. Kazahaya and Rikuou both turned to each other.

"What?" Kazahaya asked first, "He's alive?"

Author's notes: You didn't really think Kouji was dead? I'm sorry, it's just… he couldn't die yet… he'll be dead soon enough though, or will he?