AN: I do not own the Mortal Instruments.
I slammed the door to my room shut. Damn Jace Herondale. Why must he be the one I am having feelings for? I took off my clothes as the rain pounded on, harder because of my frustration. I stepped into the shower in the bathroom and let the rain pour down on me. I washed the blood and dirt off of me along with my hair and went to find some clothes. I found a pair of jean short shorts and a purple tank top. I walked out of my room to go get coffee and when i got to the kitchen I found jace sitting there staring at the floor. I made my way around him and to the coffee machine.
When I took out a cup from a nearby cabinet he finally whispered "Why? Why would you do something like that?" I stopped shocked by his sudden speaking. "Why would I do what?" I asked.
"Why would you put me in front of you?"
I sighed. "Jace," i started but he interrupted.
"No," he said." No excuses. I want the real truth."
"I needed some way to bring Maryse down. I needed her to be weak. So in order to do that I had to use you."
"You risked my life," he said voice rising," to save yours? To insure that you were to live but not me"? He took a step forward.
"Jace I do what I have to do! I can't die. You..." I stopped because he started to walk toward me.
"-?" I began as he reached me. He leaned toward me and said" I find your life more important than mine too." then his lips crashed down on mine. His hands held my waist and mine went to his hair. His lips were soft and he smelled of sunshine and fresh apples. His tongue gently touched my lips and I parted my lips slightly. His tongue flashed into my mouth as he picked me up and placed me on the counter, still holding my waist and my hands never leaving his hair. He moaned as I gently bit his bottom lip. I broke the kiss, leaning backwards for air. He began butterfly kisses down and up my neck. I moaned then, causing him to smile against my throat. I pulled his head back.
"I do what I have to do,"I began whispering, "To keep myself alive and safe. Maybe even you, Jace." . He leaned closer to me. "As long as I am with you," he breathed," I will always be alive."
He leaned back in for another taste of my lips. I met him greedily, wanting more. I wrapped my legs around him and he held me tightly as he lifted me off the counter. Carrying me into his room, the guest room, he kicked the door open. Kicking it shut again, he brought me over to the bed. Gently laying me on the bed, he was on top of me once more. I leaned back for air and he started kissing my temples, nose, lips, eyes, and forehead. He finally stopped when he needed air as well. panting he rolled off of me and laid to the side of me. His arm guided me toward him and to his side, which I curled up into. "I love you," he whispered," forever and always. You are mine, Clarissa Fray. You are mine."
"You are all I ever wanted Jace." I snuggled closer to him and he held me tightly. I felt as if I were going to drop dead at any second. I fell asleep with Jace whispering in my ear," Mine forever, Fray."
Jace slept peacefully beside me with his arm still around me In a protective gesture. I sighed and snuggled closer to his chest. After a few minutes of enjoying the feeling of being loved, I slipped out of his arms. I stepped out of his room and quietly stepped into the hall. But apparently not quiet enough.
"Where have you been?" Magnus. "Nowhere?" I replied. "You were with Jace weren't you?" I blushed. "Oh my god you were? Did you sleep with him?" "Shut up Magnus!" I hissed. "You're like a little girl! And yes, I did sleep with him! Do not tell anyone or I will come in your room at night and cut off-"
"Okay!" he said. "I won't tell."
"Good," I said and walked into my room. The rain began to pound when I came in. I relaxed and went into the dry section of the room. My notebook was still where I left and I sat down. Filled with ways to kill every demon that I had fought, it was my most valuable treasure. I sighed and tucked it away into one of my empty drawers. I put my head on the table and closed my eyes. I was struggling for the first time. I had always been so sure of myself and now? I didn't even know what I would do today. I was lost.
Oh Jace, what have you done to me?
I got up and laid down on my bed. He would die because of me. I will be the cause of his death. I have way too many foes. If he does die beacause of me I will never forgive myself. So protect him stupid. A voice in my head said. "I was going to," I replied indignantly in my mind. I sighed to myself. Now i was going crazy. Great.
Just wait world. I need a break. A little time feeling loved can't hurt too much. Right? I shook my head. Relax, Fray. You can do this. You can handle love and your postition in the world.
You can do this Fray. You can do this.