A Woman's Wrath

Lincoln had his brow raised at the Idea Board (patent pending) the fallen angel trio came up with. Though the only idea they had on the board was "Streetwalker".

Loona looked up from her phone, "Eh, with a dick like yours, it wouldn't be too hard."

"...I am not going to prostitute myself." Lincoln finally told them.

"Oh come on, I worked all night on this!" Cletus protested.

Lincoln stood up and shot the Idea Board (patent pending) with his pistol before walking to the kitchen, "Well, it's terrible."

"I mean, where else can a Sinner work in Pride if not on the street?" Keenie asked him.

Lincoln shrugged and opened up the fridge door to see Stolas looking back at him through a portal.

"It's about time." the Goetia said as he lifted his hand and pulled Lincoln through a portal.

"Wha! Oof!" Lincoln landed on a very comfy chair in what looked like a massive study. Opposite of him was Stolas sitting a bit stiffly on a large couch.

"Ah, Lincoln, it is good to see you again. I hope you don't mind the suddenness of this, but I needed to talk to you."

Lincoln caught his breath, "Talk about what? You just abducted me through a portal in Mox and Mill's fridge!"

Stolas put his claws together, "It has finally come to my attention that you are not working for I.M.P. anymore-"

"Why do you care?" Lincoln interrupted. He then felt himself be lifted from the couch and noticed Stolas turning into a much larger red and black form, reaching out to him.

"Young man! Keep in mind that I can send you FAR BEYOND THE FARTHEST STAR with a mere THOUGHT! Do NOT be cross with me, do NOT interrupt me. This is URGENT and you WILL hear me out!"

Lincoln quickly nodded. He was gently let back down and Stolas changed back and started rubbing his head.

"Apologies, I may be a bit moody, lack of sleep and all."

Lincoln quickly breathed in and out, catching his breath, "Uh, it happens...if I may ask, what's wrong, Mr. Stolas?"

Stolas let out a heavy sigh, "Lincoln, I'll be frank, my life is in grave danger."

"What makes you say that?"

"The several hired guns trying to kill me, for starters. Like the one behind you." Stolas pointed at the imp with a dagger that was just behind Lincoln.

Lincoln, using a move he learned from Millie, grabbed the imp's wrist and forced the dagger into his head, killing him. "Oh sh- shoot."

"No need to be professional, you have seen my predicament, I'm not safe in my own home. I haven't slept in days."

Lincoln turned back to Stolas, "Days? Why haven't you called Blitzø? Aren't you his boyfriend?"

Stolas groaned and slumped a bit, "He's just been...difficult recently...my fault, really. I need to give him some space."

Lincoln pulled out his pistol and looked around the study for more assassins, "If you're in grave danger, shouldn't he care?

Stolas shrugged and laid his head on an armrest, "I mean, he already has my grimoire, if I die it'd probably be one less thing he has to care about." The Goetia didn't bother to react to the imp with a shotgun just appearing at his side.

Lincoln shot the imp, and grabbed the shotgun, "Oh come on! Are you just giving up then? What about Octavia?"

"It would be one less thing for her to worry about too. It's very clear my ex-wife is only trying to kill me."

Lincoln used the shotgun on its previous owner before turning back to Stolas, "Wait, your ex-wife is trying to kill you? When the fuck did this happen?"

Stolas sat up, "Honestly, I've been suspecting it for a while now with the attacks in Loo Loo Land and at the Harvest Festival, and a bunch of other nonsense...but now they're getting more in number and bold enough to attack my home and staff. A lot of them I just let go because they keep killing them faster than I can replace them."

Lincoln looked around the room again, and figured the coast was clear enough, "Okay, your mood swings aside, I get that you need protecting and you dragged me here to do just that, right?"

The owl demon rubbed the side of his head, "Yes...fuck I just need some sleep, then I could get my emotions back in order and figure out a way out of this mess."

Lincoln mulled over the owl's proposition and figured this would be a massive payday that should last him long enough for whatever his sisters were planning. Also, given that Stolas has proven to be both powerful and unstable at the moment, refusing might not be a safe option. "Alright then, but I won't do it for free."

Stolas nodded, "I expected as much. For your payment, just grab anything you fancy that isn't nailed down. As much as you'd like, I don't care much for a lot of these gaudy baubles."

Lincoln grinned at that, pretty much everything in the Goetia's mansion was worth a big price tag. He then thought about Octavia, "Oh...uh...about your daughter..."

Stolas got up in Lincoln's face with a bit of a glare, "So, you want my daughter as your payment? I suppose that will have to do, her life for my life after all..."

Lincoln held out his hands and shook his head, "Th-That's not what I meant! I just...is she here?"

Stolas reclined and nodded, "Of course she's here. I have majority custody of her, and I rather she be living under my roof than her...uncle's."

Lincoln had a nervous smile and started to sweat, "Oh...well uh...maybe she should like, be away from the house?"

Stolas shook his head, "She is in no danger, I assure you. If she was, I wouldn't need your services. I'd be tearing her mother apart feather by feather and any lowly bastard that got in my way."

Lincoln slowly nodded, "Right...right..."

Stolas got up and turned for the door, "We shall go and tell Octavia that she will be yours. Come now, you miscreant."

Lincoln went after him, "Wait, you're STILL on about that?"

Unbeknownst to Lincoln, Stolas had a cheeky grin.

Back at Moxxie and Millie's apartment, Loona was being shaken by Millie, "Whaddya mean he 'just vanished'? Have you been drinking my absinthe again?" she interrogated.

"I have, but that's beside the point! One second he was getting something to eat and the next, poof! Gone!" Loona explained.

"I hate to say it, but she's telling the truth Ms. Millie." squeaked Cletus.

The hellhound gave the cherub the finger, "Fuck you too, doughboy."

Moxxie was looking around inside the fridge, "Well, at least most of our food is still here."

"Moxxie honey, can't you focus on our missing boy? He's out there in Hell all alone!" Millie cried.

"Your boy? Lincoln is probably fine on his-" Loona twitched her ears mid-sentence, "On second thought, he just called for me."

Lincoln hoped Loona heard his whistle, he was skeptical such a thing would summon her, but he felt he needed all the help he could get.

"Yes, it is quite an exquisite house, isn't it?" Stolas asked.

"Oh uh, yeah," Lincoln answered.

"No point in telling him I called for Loona." Lincoln thought to himself, "Stolas was hiring my services, but I'm not sure he'd like for her to be in his house too."

Stolas suddenly stopped and gestured to a door, "This is her room."

The door was adorned with "KEEP OUT", "NO DADS ALLOWED", and "DO NOT ENTER" signs.

Stolas knocked on the door, "My owlette? A moment of your time, please?"

"Go away!" Octavia yelled from behind the door.

Stolas banged on the door, "Come now, this is very important!"

"Fuck off!"

Stolas sighed, he lifted his hand and a beam of light came from it, blasting the door to pieces.

Octavia was on her bed wearing only a t-shirt and panties playing on a handheld gaming device. She squawked upon the intrusion, "ARE YOU INSANE?"

Stolas stepped inside, "A little, I've been missing sleep lately."

"Then lay off the coffee! You- LINCOLN?"

Lincoln awkwardly walked into the bedroom, trying not to look directly at his ex-lover. Or well, the closest thing he had to one in Hell, "Hey..."

Stolas nodded, "Octavia, I believe you know this gentleman quite well. He is to be your husband."

Octavia blinked a few times upon hearing this revelation, "What?"

Lincoln tried once again to correct his contractor, "Mr. Stolas-"

Stolas quickly turned his head towards Lincoln, "DO NOT FORGET MY WORDS, CHILD! THE FARTHEST STAR AWAITS YOU!"

That stopped Lincoln. There was nothing to correct, Stolas was exchanging his daughter for protection, and Lincoln still wasn't sure what to make of this.

"Dad...what the fuck is this?" Octavia asked.

Stolas turned his head back towards his daughter, "I have found a capable suitor for you. Isn't it apparent? You are to be wed as soon as you are able."

Octavia got off the bed and got up in Stolas's face, "Dad, have you lost your damned mind? You can't just decide I'm going to be married to...this lowly Sinner Demon!"

Stolas nodded, "I can, and I have. I am still a Prince of Hell and your father, my authority over you is total."

Octavia's face went from white to red with rage, "Fine then, I'll just divorce him! But not before I leave him with some kid to deal with!"

"WOAH! Hold on!" Lincoln tried to interject.

"SILENCE!" Stolas yelled, his hand up and causing a flash of light.

Octavia and Lincoln tried to speak but their voices were gone.

"You two need to learn to get along, so I'm going to leave you alone for half an hour. You better have changed your tune once I get back, understood?"

With that, Stolas stepped outside of the room, Octavia's door reforming as soon as he was out.

Lincoln tried to say something but his voice was still gone, and as he tried to open the door, the handle vanished. He then started banging on the door and tried saying something, "-the whole thing about- ah, my voice is back."

Octavia was quiet for a moment, then cleared her throat, "Lincoln, it's uh, I guess it's nice to see you again."

Lincoln turned to Octavia with a cringed look on his face, " ...the fuck was that about leaving me with a kid?"

Octavia covered her face, "Ugh, I didn't mean that! I'm so dumb..."

Lincoln got off of the door and backed up against a wall, "Um, it's fine, this whole thing got out of control."

"So, what are you doing here?" Octavia then asked.

Lincoln sighed, "Long story short, your dad hired me to help him with something, and now it's turned into this."

"Is he having you fuck him too?"

Lincoln's face flushed a bit, "No! Why does everyone assume I should prostitute myself?"

"Well..." Octavia looked Lincoln's Sinner Demon body up and down, ending on his crotch.

"Look, I have SOME dignity left...how have you been doing?"

Octavia looked him in the eyes, "Fucking awful. How are you?"

"Fucking awful."

The two looked at each other with glazed looks in their eyes, then started laughing. Lincoln leaned back against the wall and Octavia fell to the floor, hugging herself and kicking her legs up as their laughter bounced around the room.

Lincoln was the first to calm down, "Hey...uh...I need to tell you something..."

Octavia pushed herself up too, "Is it that you hate me?"

"What? No. No...it's, uh, have I told you about my sisters?"

Octavia shook her head, "No, you never really wanted to talk about them...what about them?"

"They uh...they're trying to bring me back to life." Lincoln admitted.

Octavia blinked a few times, "What? How? Is that even possible for humans?"

Lincoln shrugged, "Well, I don't know for sure if they'll even be able to...but they've done the impossible before."

"...what will happen after that?"

"I don't know."

The room went quiet after that for a few moments.

"...Lincoln?" Octavia then asked.

"Yes?"

"...would you marry me? Not that you have a choice or anything, but if you could choose, would you?"

Lincoln looked away from her, "I mean...I figured that was more like a thing on Earth, legally and religiously. Honestly, I kinda gave up wanting that when I ended up here."

Octavia approached him, "Yes or no, Lincoln?"

"I mean, Octavia, we've only known each other for a year, and we broke up a few months ago-"

Octavia got in his face, "Stop dodging my question."

"Marriage isn't that simple, Octavia!" Lincoln yelled. He put his hands on her shoulders, "I like you, I really do! You're beautiful, you're smart, you're savage, you're a lot of things I like in a girl! But marriage? I don't know how it works in Hell, but I was raised to take it seriously! To take careful consideration! Not to just take it the second it's offered to me because I'm in love with the girl offering!"

Octavia dug her claws around Lincoln's sides and gave him a command, "...take me, now."

Loona sniffed around the gates to Stolas's estate and found a few imps in bandages on the other side, one smoking a pipe.

"God fucking damn it, Kris, why did we take this shitty job?" Asked the non-smoking one.

The imp named Kris let out a drag from their pipe, "Money, idiot."

"Yeah but that fucking rabbit shot me! TWICE! AT POINT BLANK!"

"Hey, I was stabbed in the head and you don't hear me bitching."

"I know that Owl's magic healed us up but DAMN does it still sting!"

Kris offered the pipe, "Here, have a puff and shut up."

The other imp took a drag and coughed a bit, "Holy shit, is that OPIUM? Where in Hell did you get THAT?"

"Owl man had it. Said it'd work as a painkiller."

"Shit...and you didn't share earlier?"

"Head stab."

"...by the way, what are ya gonna do with the money that rich prick gave us?"

"Eh, probably rent a brothel in Lust."

"Like a room?"

"No, a whole brothel. Gonna have an all-you-can-fuck buffet."

"Shit, blowing it all at once huh?"

"Well, what's your financial plan?"

"Well, maybe I'll take my kids to that pizza place in Greed. They have been bitching at me for months about that."

"Wonder where they learned to do that." Kris went for another drag of the pipe, but it was now missing. The two imps now noticed a pissed-off hellhound holding said pipe.

"The fuck is going on here?"

Stolas entered Octavia's room to see his daughter and Lincoln snuggled up in Octavia's bed playing handheld video games. "Oh good, you're getting along!" he cheered.

"For fuck's sake, dad!" Octavia yelled as she threw her handheld at Stolas. It stopped before impact and gently floated to a shelf.

Lincoln started to stammer, "Uh...oh shit, Mr. Stolas, I-"

Stolas raised his hand, "No need to explain yourself Lincoln, this is what I intended to happen."

"...what?" Lincoln asked.

"I meant for you two to get together and work out whatever issues you had...and well, are they worked out?"

Octavia nodded, though sank into the bed out of embarrassment.

"But what about those two imps trying to kill you?" Lincoln asked.

Stolas chuckled, "Oh, those were actors I hired. Very convincing weren't they? Speaking of which, where are-"

Just then, one of the imps was thrown through one of Octavia's windows. Soon after, the second imp was thrown through another of Octavia's windows. Then Loona jumped through the last remaining window to Octavia's room.

"Ah, there they are...and is that Blitzø's hellhound?" Stolas asked.

Loona sniffed the room, then glared at Lincoln and Octavia, "LINCOLN! YOU-"

"Sit, girl!" Lincoln commanded.

Loona did so.

Stolas looked at Loona, then to Lincoln, "Oh...are you two an item now?"

Lincoln shook his head, "No, I just own her now."

"Oh...interesting."

Octavia sank deeper under the covers, not wanting all these new people to see her.

Lincoln tried to explain, "...uh, I summoned her here for backup, but I guess that wasn't needed?"

Stolas shook his head, "Nope, but good on you for taking me seriously and being prepared."

"Well that's a relief, I thought you were serious about your ex-wife trying to kill you."

"WHAT?" Octavia yelled.

Stolas looked left and right, "Uh..yes, that was a lie too, I had to find some way to sell it."

"So...was the whole marriage thing just a lie too?" Lincoln asked.

Stolas shook his head, "Oh no, I'm quite serious about that one."

"WHAT?" Loona screamed.

"Sit, Loona! Wait, you're serious about that?" Lincoln asked.

Stolas nodded, "Yes. I've made it official."

"You can just...do that?" Octavia asked.

Stolas patted Octavia's head, "My darling owlette, you should know by now that there are many things I can do."

Blitzø was on the phone while looking at a framed photograph of him smiling and Loona looking pissed off, "Hey there V...it's Blitz. Listen, I need a biiiiig favor..."

A Woman's Wrath Has Left You Wise