Disclaimer: Don't own it.

Chapter 4

(Byakuya POV)

I don't understand him. This boy. He's wormed his way into my mind and taken up a permanent residence. I'm not quite sure when he became such a big part of my everyday thoughts but I do know that I am in utter turmoil because of it. When he was brought to the Soul Society I was, admittedly, furious, at first. I had been trying my hardest to pull that boy away from my thoughts and now his spiritual pressure was always in the back of my mind, creeping over me like liquid fire. Just when I thought I could get over this strange fascination with the orange haired substitute he gets thrust back in front of me, dangling like a piece of fresh meat tauntingly in front of a hungry dog.

I hadn't known what was wrong with the boy but I knew it must've been bad when Unohana had to get involved. I was walking by the fourth a couple of weeks ago when I heard a shout. My inner snoop came out and I walked over to investigate the noise.

"And why not?" Was that Unohana-taichou? I had never heard her sound so agitated.

"Because it's personal and I don't think it's your business." I took a step back. I shouldn't be here, I thought, that's Ichigo's voice. I should stay away from him.

"Kurosaki Ichigo, it became my business the moment you were carried into my office like a rag doll. It's my duty to bring you back to 100% and I can't do that unless you talk to me." I had never heard Unohana-taichou's voice so cold, even when she was reprimanding the 11th she still had some warmth in her voice but the tone she was using now chilled me to the bone and made me pity the poor boy that was trapped in the same room as the angry captain.

There was a pause and I heard a deep intake of breath, "Byakuya." I froze. What could they be talking about that involved me? There was a moment of silence in which neither of them spoke before Ichigo continued. "But it doesn't matter anyway because he will never feel the same. I want to hate him. I have every right to hate him! But I can't. I can't bring myself to despise him because… because I-I think I lo-…" Each word he said was like a knife to my heart, stabbing me and allowing the blood to run free in rivits towards the too-green earth.

There was another short pause before I heard Unohana speak again, "I understand. You don't have to say anything more, Ichigo-kun."

I quietly took my leave and returned to my office.

I decided then that I would have to talk to the young strawberry. I spoke to my lieutenant a lot, asking about Ichigo and then immediately wanting to slap myself because of the worried tone my voice always acquired whenever I spoke of him. Abarai's small brain might not have grasped the fact that I had feelings for the human but that didn't mean he wouldn't have noticed my increased interest in Ichigo these past few weeks and that could become dangerous if word came around to my adopted sister or worse, Ichigo himself. Who knew what assumptions the red-headed idiot would come up with if left to his own devices.

I've seen Ichigo multiple times since then. Whenever I was near the fourth, he would be sitting by the koi pond talking quietly to Renji or Rukia. Sometimes he was by himself, staring blankly in front of him. Every time I saw him though, I paused in my steps and looked over to him, my mouth half forming a greeting, before I lost my nerve and continued on my way.

I knew I had to talk to him, but I couldn't. As humiliating as it is to admit this, I was scared to talk to him—to see his reaction. Here I was, a bitter, distant captain who held no feelings for anyone except himself, head-over-heels in love with the noisy, obnoxious, half-human, substitute shinigami who would give his life for a complete stranger.

Finally, I found the courage when I was passing by the fourth and saw Ichigo slowly making his way inside all by himself. Though, I wouldn't exactly call it courage—it was mostly because my feet began to head towards him without conscious thought of what I was doing. I walked up behind him and took a deep breath, "Kurosaki Ichigo."

He froze in his tracks and for one split moment I thought that, perhaps, he would continue walking and act as if I had never said anything in the first place. Slowly, he turned around and said in a quiet half-whisper, "Byakuya."

I my brain seemed to freeze for a moment while I took a good look at the object of my affection up close and personal—something I hadn't been able to do in a long time. His warm, chocolate eyes which were always so filled with life and happiness now held a dull shade of brown that didn't reflect the boy I knew was within. He was wearing a thin, white yukata underneath a simple grey haori that I knew must have belonged to one of the lower ranking fourth squad members in order to keep his frail body warm. They hung limply on his shoulders and looked like they were two sizes too big. Ichigo had lost so much weight in the past months I began to seriously fear for his life, no man should be this thin—no, I correct myself, he's not a man, he's a boy. A poor little boy who got dragged into things he never should have. And he is the same boy that I have fallen in love with.

"Are you well?" I asked, keeping a firm hold on my emotions so as to not let them run away from me.

Ichigo gave me a small smile that didn't reach his eyes, "Yeah, I'm fine but I have to wait for Unohana-taichou's approval to go back home. I'm sorry if my presence here is a bother for you."

I sighed and flexed my hands, forcing myself from wrapping my arms around his small shoulders. Of course that's what he thought I meant—he would never believe that I truly care for him—though I've never given him any reason to suggest otherwise. "I can assure you that your presence here is of no inconvenience to me."

His eyes widened slightly before they came back to their normal size. "Well, that's good," He said, relief painting his tone. After a moment of silence he spoke again, "So, what did you need, Byakuya?"

It was my turn for my eyes to widen beyond their appropriate size. I hadn't thought ahead. I, Kuchiki Byakuya, forgot to plan ahead. I had no idea what to say to the boy—I was completely clueless. Why did I stop him in the first place? What did I want to say to him?

"I love you. I'm obsessed with you. I can't get you out of my head. Please become my one and only. Please love me."

I growled at Senbonzakura. This has nothing to do with you so keep silent.

"I can't ignore you when our inner world is in such a depressed state. I haven't seen it this grey since Hisana died. You need to tell him how you feel, Master."

I shook my head in disagreement. No, I could not take the embarrassment if he didn't feel the same.

"Then find out."

"Byakuya?" Ichigo's voice broke through my conversation with Senbonzakura. He had a weird, confused expression on his face. Shoot. I must have actually growled aloud. "Are you alright? You're not really acting like yourself."

I shook my head dismissingly, "I am fine. A simple disagreement with my zanpakuto is all. "

Ichigo nodded in understanding, "Happens to me all the time."

I needed to find out if Ichigo had feelings for me and fast before he began to question me again—I felt like I was about to explode with all of his questions. "I am here because my lieutenant… has gone missing." I chickened out. "And I know how often he is here."

"Sorry Byakuya, I haven't seen him at all today." He looked sad. For a moment, I could have sworn that I had seen a spark reawaken in his eyes before it had quickly died with my words. Was I doing this to him? Was it because of me that he has become so sick? Because he thinks I don't return his feelings? But does he actually have those feelings or were he and Unohana-taichou talking about something else? Oh God, I think, this boy is trying to make my heart beat right out of my chest.

I nod my head and speak against my better judgment, again, "Has Unohana-taichou been able to help your healing process at all?"

Ichigo began to stutter in surprise, obviously not anticipating that I would ask another question. "Uh, Unohana-taichou has been very helpful. I'm extremely thankful for all that she's done for me," He said, avoiding the question.

"Has she discovered what is wrong with you?"

Ichigo made a noncommittal gesture, "She has a theory on how to bring me back to one hundred percent but I doubt that we are going to test it."

"Oh?"

"If—if she's wrong, it will only make me worse."

Get worse? How could he get worse? The boy looks like he's been through hell and back. He's all skin and bones—how could he get any worse?

"Well, I sincerely hope you recover soon; it would be an embarrassment to the Soul Society to have our war hero fall ill for too long." Foot in mouth. Just shove my foot in my mouth now so I stop saying such vindictive things to him every time I try to converse normally with the boy. My voice sounded so cold and angry, no wonder he flinched at my words. How could I be so careless?

"Don't worry Byakuya, I'll get better soon. I promise," His voice was empty, the little emotion he had acquired while talking to me was gone. "I should be going." With that he turned and left me standing there ready to stab myself with my own zanpakuto in the middle of the fourth's courtyard.

I have to tell him. It's been killing me saying nothing and knowing he was in pain because of it. I made my way to the fourth, unable to slow my feet to a reasonable, less alarmed pace. I was one step away from running the whole way; my emotions had never been so uncontrolled and disorganized.

As I neared, dread over took me. His reiatsu was gone. I couldn't sense him at all. I saw Unohana-taichou slowly walking towards me, a worried look on her face. "Ah, Byakuya-kun, what brings you to my squad barracks?"

I looked down, willing myself repress the blush threatening to paint my pale skin. "I need to talk to Kurosaki," I said, a little breathless.

Unohana's eyes clouded over in sadness, "You're too late, Byakuya-kun. Ichigo-kun went back to the World of the Living this morning."

My eyes widened, "He got better?"

Unohana sighed, shaking her head, "No he hasn't but he was well enough where I couldn't hold him here any longer… You've figured out why he is sick, haven't you, Byakuya-kun?"

I nodded my head slightly, "I am fairly positive that I've pieced together the right assumption."

"And do you think you will be able to heal him?" She asked, though I knew she silently implied, 'Do you return his feelings?' and 'Are you going to act on it?'

I gave her a half smile, "I'd like to think that I could, if given the chance."

She gave me a soft smile and laid a gentle hand on my shoulder, "I'm sure you will. You always do the right thing in the end Byakuya-kun." With those parting words she turned and left me standing in the middle of her barracks with a stupid look on my face… again.

I knew what I had to do now but I was still confused on how to do it. Getting permission to go to the Human World would be a long and tedious process and I doubted Ichigo would wait around for me to finish all of the necessary paperwork before he did something stupid. I had to figure out a way to get him here but knowing Ichigo, he wouldn't come if I summoned him. Suddenly, Rukia ran across the road in my peripheral vision, heading towards her own division. Rukia. The idea began to take form in my mind as I walked out of the Fourth Division with a slightly devious smirk on my face.

AN: Let me start out by saying a huge thank you to everyone who reviewed. You guys are amazing and I love hearing what you have to say about my story! I know that I took forever to update but in my defense, I did warn you. For all of you who are curious, I finished my AP Psychology exam yesterday so now I will be able to give a huge sigh of relief and fully focus on my writing (yay for you!). I'm so thankful that I have such wonderful and understanding readers. Thank you so much!

In other news, there is probably going to be only one chapter after this one (I know—SAD!) but maybe I'll post more. It depends on how I leave it off. :)

Please, please, please review and tell me what you thought of it. Good or bad—I want to hear it!