Political Sentiments
During this time public opinion regarding the Centauri Accord was slowly improving as more people came to understand the economic benefits of greater integration and how they would apply personally. Sarek had been working diligently behind the scenes with several Federation member governments and business groups to identify potential trade opportunities with Earth that would be possible with the ratification of the accord, and those efforts were slowly bearing fruit.
Significantly, however, as general opinion warmed toward Earth's ratification of the accord, the positions of the more strident opposition groups seemed to become more hardened and extreme. The League for Human Justice declared it "yet another subjugation of Earth by Vulcan and its allies," while several reactionary commentators asserted "statistics" which "proved Human jobs and opportunities would be lost." Still other nativists claimed that the accord combined with the Universal Translator "would create an insidious, corrosive influence that will destroy what is unique about Human culture within a generation."
A small group of protesters with placards soon became a regular fixture outside the Vulcan embassy. As offensive as their professed views were – one placard read "Vulcans Off of Earth" – they were thus far non-violent, so the delegation filed no complaints against them.
Knowing the disproportionate impact such vocal views could have in a pluralistic society, Sarek redoubled his efforts to work with Earth politicians who had concerns about the accord. He was aware that this was making him a greater target for those opposed to the accord, but considered that negative publicity directed at him personally to be of little consequence, especially when so much of it was completely unfounded.
Dinner and a Private Concert
A week after their first dinner, Sarek and Amanda had planned on another dinner plus the theater, only to find when they exited the embassy flitter at the restaurant that a throng of reporters had followed them, shouting questions at them about the reason for their outing, the Centauri Accord, and the Universal Translator. Faced with the prospect of dealing with the press once more on the way out of the restaurant and then again at the theater, Sarek turned to Amanda. "Take out?"
"Yes."
A little while later and a meal more discreetly procured, they enjoyed a quiet dinner in the common area of the Vulcan embassy's private quarters. Amanda had never been in the embassy's private apartments before. She expected attendants and other embassy residents to be everywhere but they were quite alone.
After dinner Sarek cleared the dishes and containers. He returned a few minutes later with a tray of tea and kreyla biscuits, carrying a harp-like instrument under his arm. "I wish to inquire if you would be interested in listening to some Vulcan music, in exchange for the Terran music you have arranged for me to experience," he asked solemnly.
Amanda's eyes brightened with anticipation, and he was rewarded with one of her brilliant smiles. "That would be lovely, Sarek!"
Without preamble he sat and bent his head over the instrument, and in a moment their corner of the common area was filled with alien music. The ka'athyra filled the room with haunting, beautiful notes, drawn from it by his nimble fingers. Amanda could swear she recognized echoes from the violin concerto, the classical guitar, and even the electric bass they had heard together, in addition to a multitude of other strains that were altogether unearthly.
Amanda watched those elegant fingers play, mesmerized. As she listened, she thought about her relationship with Sarek. Their respective life experiences were completely different, but yet, they seemed to find beauty and meaning in the same things. She wondered if his definition of beauty included her.
She was drawn from her reverie when he finished, all too soon. "Sarek, you are more than talented. That was really beautiful," she sighed. "What is it called?"
'Amanda,' he thought to himself, but he answered instead, "It is an improvisation."
More Terran Press
"Prince Charming for the Professor?" read the headline that scrolled under the holovid of Amanda, arm tucked into Sarek's, as they made their way away from the throng of reporters outside of the restaurant they had abandoned.
Sarek looked away from the screen toward Amanda. "Who is this 'Prince Charming'?" he asked, puzzled.
Amanda just waved her hand, embarrassed. "Oh, it's silly. Must have been a slow news day, that's all."
On another floor, in a different office, three members of the security team observed the same holovid on T'Vey's news screen with equal puzzlement.
"I do not understand," said Sporn, perplexed.
"What aspect do you fail to grasp?" T'Vey asked.
"The meaning implied by the Earth media."
"And the… activities of the kevet-dutar and Dr. Grayson that appear to prompt such media interest," added Stell. "They have been numerous."
"I suspect there may be some Human social customs involved with which we are unfamiliar," T'Lina ventured cautiously. "Perhaps… even a form of mating ritual."
All eyes turned to look at her with what would have been shock, if they hadn't all been Vulcan.
"You are speculating," Sporn said dismissively. Stell also appeared skeptical, while T'Vey looked thoughtful.
"Perhaps," T'Lina rejoined, unruffled. "You are welcome to develop an alternate hypothesis that fits the data."
Dance Lesson
Amanda surveyed her closet, biting her lip in concentration. She was to dine with Sarek again this evening, like last week. Tonight was going to be different, however.
Earlier in the week when he had asked, he had said, "Given the circumstances with the Terran press currently, we shall dine here, at the embassy, in my private quarters. I will call for you at 2000 hours."
Normally she would have given him a hard time for his reflexive commands ("you're supposed to ask a lady to dine with you, Sarek…"), but the mention of his quarters set her stomach to fluttering and she forgot about teasing him. She had never actually been in his quarters and the thought of spending an entire evening with him there, behind closed doors, was both unnerving and tantalizing.
She finally picked a knee-length, form-fitting charcoal lace dress, nodding in satisfaction. It looked more revealing than it actually was, but it clung to her curves and screamed "feminine."
When her door chimed at exactly 2000 hours and she opened it for him, she could swear he paused for a split second before he greeted her. His dark eyes took in her form and Amanda was sure he missed nothing. Under his gaze she felt warmth deep in her core, warmth that spread and blazed hotter when he spoke.
"It is agreeable to see you this evening, Amanda," he declared, his arresting baritone dropping into something deep and vibrating on "agreeable."
The air was tantalizingly taut between them as she joined him in the flitter, and remained so when they arrived at the embassy. This felt qualitatively different than any of their many working dinners, and even different from the other social dinners they had had together.
The meal was ready for them when they arrived, served to them silently by a single attendant. When Amanda admired the view of the bay from his window, Sarek concurred. "Yes. It is very different from my home world, but it is nonetheless pleasing to look at." He realized as he said it that, a few short months ago he would not have expressed such an opinion. It was not pleasing before she came. This was not logical; the bay had not changed – although perhaps his perspective had.
Over a first course, Amanda ventured, "Sarek, I've told you some about my family; can you tell me about yours?"
He nodded. Given what she had shared about her family, it was reasonable to exchange this personal information. "My father is also in the diplomatic service. He was Vulcan's previous ambassador to Earth. Diplomatic service runs in my family. My mother is the leader of my clan." Among other things, but he left that out for the time being. "I also have younger brother who is a language specialist much like yourself."
Amanda recalled their earlier conversation about the matchmaker. Had he made a selection? "And you are not yet married," she said.
To her surprise, his eyes took on a hooded expression as he answered quietly, "I am no longer married. I was briefly, but my bondmate chose to follow the path of the Kohlinahru, adepts who have purged all emotion and renounced all personal relationships, and so our marriage was annulled. I am… unbonded."
Ouch, she thought. "That must have been difficult."
"Yes," he said simply, momentarily gazing at nothing, and Amanda could sense a much greater pain that he did not verbalize.
After a moment's pause, she gently asked, "Is 'I grieve with thee' appropriate?"
"Yes, it is." He inclined his head in that particular Vulcan form of acknowledgement, gratified by her understanding of the situation.
They finished their meal in companionable if pensive silence. Then, after the attendant had cleared their meal and left them alone, Sarek re-initiated the conversation. "I wish to revisit a topic that we discussed at the Terran Embassy Ball three point four five months ago."
"And what is that, Sarek?" Amanda asked, puzzled.
"It has occurred to me that a greater facility with the Terran customs of social dance would be beneficial to the conduct of my diplomatic duties."
"Oh?" she replied, not sure where he was going with this.
"Yes. Participation in culturally accepted activities facilitates the building of relationships that ultimately aids negotiation. I lack the required instruction in this case, however." Glancing at her, he hazarded his question. "You seem to possess a satisfactory grasp of the required techniques. Would you be willing to... show me?"
Amanda was charmed; he sounded almost shy. She was also surprised – and intrigued. "Well I'm certainly no ballroom dance instructor," she replied slowly, "but I could probably show you the basics." She paused. "This Human dance form does typically involve touch between the participants, though. Will that be okay?"
"If I am able to anticipate the physical contact, it is not a problem to maintain my shields." The pleasant tension between them from earlier returned.
"All right then, let's give it a try." Amanda smiled and stood. "The most frequently used traditional dance at diplomatic and similar functions is the waltz. It can be made more complex, but the basic step is very simple. Can you pull up a music file called The Grand Waltz, or something similar?"
Sarek nodded, tapping on his PADD, and strains of music that he recognized from various events filled the room.
"Now, come here," Amanda instructed, biting her lip to keep from laughing nervously. This is going to be interesting. He obliged. "This is the touching part. You place your left hand in my right, like so," she said, slowly taking his hand, "and you place your right hand here, at my waist." Sarek complied, raising an eyebrow at the unfamiliar position. She tried not to focus on the feel of his large, warm hands on her body.
"Next," she continued, "we simply do the basic step, called the box step, over and over, moving to the music, one-two-three, one-two-three. You lead, meaning you take a step forward while I take a step back, then we step to the side and forward, like so, and back to the beginning again." Amanda demonstrated by slowly leading him through the steps. "It's your job to turn me around the floor, avoiding other dancing couples and so forth."
They took a few hesitant turns to the music in Sarek's living area. He found their prolonged contact to be surprisingly agreeable, although he tried to divert his attention from this fact, and from the impulse to touch her fingertips with his. She is so close, closer than Vulcan protocol would ever allow…
"Is it always performed this way?" Sarek asked, frowning slightly.
"The steps vary, but this is the basic concept for most forms of what we call 'ballroom dance,'" Amanda confirmed.
"It is rather gender-biased, is it not?"
She gave a short laugh in acknowledgement. "Good point. These dances originated centuries ago, when Earth women were supposed to be subservient to men in most things."
"You do not find this objectionable?" he asked.
"In theory, yes, but practically, not really, not anymore. Our whole society has changed. And now there are a lot more types of dance, including many more egalitarian forms – some which don't require a partner at all – so it's not like this is the only way to express oneself to music. Ballroom dance still has a role in courtship rituals, though; it's considered a socially acceptable way to be physically close in public."
A momentary, awkward silence ensued as they stood there before Amanda spoke again. "What about Vulcan gender roles, Sarek?"
"They exist, although like Earth, many are primarily vestiges of our ancient past. There are exceptions, however; it is... a complex subject." Sarek's voice had grown strangely husky as his eyes stared down into hers. He promptly changed the subject back to dance. "And how do dancers determine their partners?"
Amanda followed his conversational lead. There was enough tension in the room already. "Often it's the person who accompanies you to the event. But it can be anyone you ask, really; an acquaintance, colleague, or even a perfect stranger, if you ask them to dance and they accept."
He looked a bit shocked, impassive as he was. "Strangers… touch one another in this way?"
Amanda gave a small smile at his apparent disapprobation. "You didn't know these diplomatic events were such licentious affairs, did you?"
Sarek stiffened a bit. "Vulcan is a conservative society. This is quite different from Vulcan customs. I am endeavoring to… appreciate the diversity."
"I'm sorry. I don't mean to tease you."
"No offense is taken."
"Shall we try moving through it another time?" Amanda asked. Sarek nodded, and she tapped the PADD to restart the music.
The weird dichotomy was magnified for them both this time as the tension ebbed and flowed between them: the close contact was both pleasant and awkward. They moved through the steps successfully, Sarek becoming more confident, and they continued slowly dancing for several minutes. Amanda noticed his hand had migrated from her hip to the small of her back, his fingers hot and dry against her skin where the dress dipped low. With any Human male she would have interpreted the movement as both possessive and erotic – and she would have welcomed it from Sarek. But he couldn't mean that, could he? He's probably just more comfortable that way. Still, she fought to keep her own body's response under control, not to acknowledge the tingling sensation of arousal, like she wanted to.
As one part of Sarek's mind was quickly gaining competence in this new activity, another was just as quickly becoming mesmerized by the feel of her body. Her bare skin, where he dared to touch it, was wondrously soft and cool, and her scent, even as he did not deliberately seek to breathe it in, was somehow to him quintessentially female. He was not sensing her thoughts, but her bright eyes as she looked at him served as beacons to remind him of the scintillating mind she possessed and how it fascinated him. Her emotions, however, bled through their mutual touch, and as much as he tried to shield himself he could feel her desire and it stoked his own…
Amanda pulled her eyes up to meet his just as the music ended and they were frozen for a moment, staring at one another. She could smell the slight muskiness of his skin, feel the air stirred by his breath. She realized her heart was beating wildly once again and she looked down as she flushed, hoping desperately that her body wouldn't betray her any further. I want his hands to rove further, want my hands to touch his body… She had thought before that their differences, Human and Vulcan, would inherently limit any attraction that could arise between them, but it was suddenly very clear that this was not the case.
Sarek could feel Amanda's pulse accelerate, and although his mental shields blocked her thoughts, he did not need any kind of telepathy to interpret her emotional state. Her flushed face and rapid breathing, her scent, so close to him, touched off a male response he worked to repress. I want to pull her even closer, deeply inhale that scent, explore her body, her mind…
Amanda was both relieved and disappointed to hear her own voice break the silence as she pulled away from him. So we both can breathe. "Well… I think you've got the hang of it, Sarek. You are a good student."
"And you are an excellent instructor, Amanda," he replied, his voice very deep. There was another moment of silence.
Amanda smiled shyly at him. "Thank you for a lovely dinner. I'm afraid it's getting late…"
"Of course. I will return you to your home."
To Amanda it felt for all the world like they were two awkward teenagers in the hovercar as he drove her home. She firmly believed that raising the possibility of anything other than a platonic relationship would likely be disastrous, and she wasn't willing to risk that. But it was undeniable that the sexual tension between them was continuing to build. Amanda watched his sure hands as he piloted the flitter, and recalling those hands on her body, she shivered. Get a grip, Grayson, she thought as she climbed into bed and into a night of fitful dreams.
Sarek was preoccupied for the rest of the evening by his own mental state. The pleasant thrum of contentment he felt in Amanda's presence had acquired a new dimension. The… wanting… he had felt before for her was now something more. It was a continuous, dull ache, punctuated by sharper pangs of intense physical desire. And none of it was acceptable. He was Vulcan, and in need of a mate or not, these errant emotions had no place. He meditated until late into the night, seeking to restore his equilibrium.
Realization
The PADD hit the desk a little too hard, a little too suddenly. Sarek looked at it in surprise, as if he were not who the one had who had just tossed it there in a gesture that looked all too much like irritation, even anger. He paused and looked within himself to examine the sudden inner turmoil that had not existed a few minutes before.
The missive had come from T'Pau, and for a change it was not about any issue facing the High Council or Terran-Vulcan relations. This communiqué had been meant for him personally. He had been putting off the clan kal-i-farr'teraufor months now, responding to each of her inquiries with a deferral or postponement. There simply had not been a good time to address the question of finding his next bondmate; his schedule was always filled with more pressing issues. At least that was what he had told the matchmaker – and himself.
Now T'Pau was forcing the situation. It was not acceptable for the scion of the House of Surak to remain unbonded as his Time approached, now less than three years away, just as it was unacceptable for Vulcan's ambassador to Earth to leave himself in such a potentially compromising position. She was demanding that he respond to the matchmaker with a rank-ordered list of potential bondmates from the dossiers he had received.
Sarek knew he must take a mate. Of that there was no doubt. The problem was he was simply not interested in any of the candidates that had been presented to him. And he did not want another meaningless union. There was only one female whose company he desired, and she was not Vulcan.
He already knew it was not his status as an unbonded male that caused him to desire Amanda's company. No, if it were simply the need to bond he would have reacted with other than indifference to the literally dozens of eligible Vulcan women whom he had met or whose portfolios he had reviewed at his clan's increasingly frequent request. In fact, if it were only the need to bond, it would have been far more logical to seek out one of these women than Amanda. Among his people, it would be almost unheard of for a woman of his choosing to turn him down, such was were his position and his family. And yet, he compared each of his potential bondmates to Amanda and found them all wanting.
Amanda had no idea of that, only knowing that he was Vulcan's representative to Earth. And while this was an honorable position in and of itself, he could tell that this did not sway her decisions to spend time with him. There was something oddly comforting in knowing that she chose to spend time with him for who he really was, and at the same time there was something equally unsettling in the awareness that she could choose to break off their relationship at any time, for reasons utterly her own. So, no, his desire to be in her company was not driven by simple biological need.
Sarek knew his advisors and staff were well aware of the increasing amount of time he spent with Amanda, and no doubt they had also concluded that such time was in excess of that required to conduct Embassy business. No one had attempted to counsel him against this, however, not only because he could be intimidating to oppose but because, he was sure, they could not imagine the idea he held in his heart.
When he was with her, his restless soul was at peace. That knowledge was both basic and profound. Was this not what bondmates were supposed to provide for each other? It was an undeniable fact that he desired to be in her company more than anyone else's, and it was clear to him that they possessed a rapport that transcended their vastly different heritages. The social activities he had initiated with her in recent weeks had further confirmed this.
Unlike any of the others, in fact, he could imagine Amanda as his bondmate. And as he thought more, recalling the brilliant smile she reserved only for him, he wondered if she might perhaps have similar thoughts for him.
Seeking a non-Vulcan mate seemed illogical on the surface, but as he examined that hypothesis, he found it faulty. There was no logic in assuming one's mate necessarily must be of one's own species. Compatibility on levels beyond simple DNA was actually far more important. He and Amanda shared much: shared values, interests, intelligence and drive, even sense of humor, if he were to admit to that. She alone seemed to understand him in ways that others who had known him far longer could not. The peace he felt in her presence was as with no one else. That DNA was not one of the things they shared was almost inconsequential. Procreation was important, but that could be addressed by science. Amanda was unique in the universe to him, and the only one who had ever stirred his katra in this way. It was, in fact, logical to seek her as his mate.
And there was that undeniable pull of a physical nature he felt toward her. She was aesthetically appealing to him, and more. He had felt the desire, been stimulated by her closeness; he knew he wanted her like no other. The attraction was intense, powerful, and at times threatened his control. Why he felt this so viscerally he did not know, but he did sense from their encounters that Amanda shared his desire. The thought of that alone made his pulse accelerate.
He suddenly realized how blind he had been. He had been drawn to her from the first moment he had seen and heard her. There were terms in his language, although they were rarely used… Even though he was only consciously recognizing it now, it was shon-ha-lock, the engulfment, and he had been engulfed from the first. He could not attempt a bonding with any woman on his home world, he now knew: his katra had already been claimed.
Sarek was nothing if not decisive, and once decided upon something, he nearly always got what he wanted. In this case, however, the path between deciding and obtaining was more circuitous. He needed to secure Amanda's agreement on the subject. While obtaining agreement to bond from a Vulcan female would not be difficult by virtue of who he was, some of those very same characteristics could pose insurmountable obstacles for him in Amanda's case. He would eventually need to return to Vulcan to fulfill hereditary duties; would she accompany him there? Vulcans bonded telepathically; would she be willing? He was a Vulcan male, with the attendant biological burden of which Amanda was not even yet aware; would she reject him out of hand because of it? Even though he could see the logic in their pairing, would she?
From where he stood in time Sarek could see numerous possible futures unfolding. However, only one was acceptable to him. He had to secure Amanda as his bondmate. He would not rest until she was safely his.