Part Three
He was comfortable. Mentally so. It was rather disturbing. Normally the first thought Reese had when he awoke was that someone was trying to kill him. The second was that certainly by the time he crawled back in bed someone else would try to kill him. It wasn't the most comforting mental state in which to live, but he was long used to it.
So it was a bizarre change that thoroughly upset his psyche when he was so perfectly content that he didn't care that people actually were trying to kill him. Angry, armed people who'd already taken him prisoner once that he'd pissed off by attacking and escaping.
But no, he was happy. He wanted to sit there, leaning against a rock, holding a sleeping Carter in his arms and listen to the birds chirping. He couldn't, of course. He wouldn't, of course. But he wanted to.
The thought would have scared the crap out of him if he hadn't already come to the realization the night before that he was hopelessly in love with this woman.
It had been far too long since she'd had the marvelous experience of waking up in someone's arms. Few of her dates made it that far; she was too protective of her son and too busy with her job and too paranoid in general. She sighed heavily, snuggling back into the warmth of his body, letting his scent surround her, feeling his fingers caressing hers.
And then she remembered this wasn't a morning after.
Well, it was, but not after that.
Well, sort of.
She shook her head and tried to gather her senses together. Technically, next to nothing had happened physically and as far as he knew, she hadn't heard his confession. Thinking of it set her head reeling again. He loved her. He. John Reese.
Was that possible?
She wouldn't have thought the man capable of any real feelings a few weeks earlier, not with the flippant way he responded to anything serious she asked him. Then again, she already knew that was a front. He was a smart man, he knew better than to wear his heart on his sleeve, he'd been trained to hide his weaknesses. And, when she reviewed them in her head, she realized his actions towards her had always been oddly personal, completely protective, utterly uncharacteristic.
She'd gotten to him somehow, slipped under that snarky armor of his, made him feel something he wasn't supposed to feel and probably didn't want to.
She was going to have to tell him she knew exactly how he felt when they had a chance to talk about it, which was, unfortunately, not then.
Feeling justified in the connection she'd always felt to him, knowing that he'd fallen under its spell too, she shifted her head toward him. "We should probably get moving, right?"
He didn't hesitate, springing up from behind her, offering a hand to help her to her feet. "I didn't hear any helicopters, so their reinforcements haven't gotten here yet."
She wouldn't have noticed a helicopter landing on her, she'd been that exhausted. "You couldn't hear last night."
His eyes locked on hers, a look of panic barely registering before he covered it with a smirk. "And you could?"
"My ears are still ringing," she lied, pretending to look around for some idea which way to head. It wasn't the time or place to get into it and she suspected that tearing down his walls was something she might need to be armed for.
He nodded toward the hill in the distance. "We were heading that way last night."
Biting back a remark about the other direction they'd been heading the previous night, the decidedly more fun, more intimate one, she nodded. "Lead the way."
She really, really wanted to bitch about walking in her favorite shoes, but when she saw John's loafers, and his pants, caked in mud, she knew he was no better off. It wouldn't make her feel better to hear him whining about his shoes, and so, she extended him the same courtesy. She'd never been big on hiking or mountain climbing; she infinitely preferred "cleaner" sports that were played indoors, but she thought she was holding her own. She called up her army training and her competitive streak, demanding of herself that she not crack before he did, simply because he'd think it was because she was a woman. Besides, he was thirsty and sweating and miserably uncomfortable too and it wasn't like they could sit down and have a beer while they recuperated.
Carter was doing an admirable job of not complaining. He could see how unhappy she was, hell, he wanted to whine himself. In fact, he was praying she'd ask for a break soon so he could sit down for a minute and get off his blistered feet. But damn her, she wasn't going to ask for mercy lest she appear weak in front of him and he'd be damned before he asked for mercy period.
He snickered at the situation, feeling her eyes on him as she wondered what he was laughing at. He glanced at her, taking in the way she licked her lips. He knew it was dehydration that caused it, but he couldn't help remembering how he'd touched her the night before, how he'd almost had a chance to kiss her mouth. He was an idiot. He hadn't wanted her to regret anything they did, but fuck, he was never going to be in a position like that again, she'd never be willing again, and he'd given up the one fucking opportunity he'd ever had to touch her. Growling at himself for blowing his chance, no matter how sound his reasons had been for doing it, his good humor disappeared and he surged forward.
Like a trooper, she didn't ask. She didn't complain. She just tried to keep up.
He felt like an ass when she tripped, coming down on all fours. Returning to her side, he offered his hand for the second time that day. She took it again as she lifted herself stiffly to her feet. She'd hurt herself, but she wasn't going to admit it.
Fuck.
"Are you ok?" He knew she'd lie, but he felt like he had to ask anyway, maybe remind her that he wasn't always an asshole.
"I'm fine." She gingerly tested her left leg, finding that it wasn't as bad as it could have been. "Yeah, I'm fine. Let's go."
"Let's take a break for a minute." Considering that he had no idea where they were headed, he saw no point in wearing them out. Anyone looking for them, anyone following them, would likely not be on foot, so a few minutes of rest wasn't going to make any difference.
She sagged down on a fallen log, looking very much like she needed a nap. In lieu of any other choices, Reese sat beside her. They were silent for a while, thinking of wonderful things like hot showers and soda and scrambled eggs.
But finally, Carter broke the silence. "Do you have a plan here or are we just going to walk until you think of one?"
He couldn't stop the grin that he turned on her. "Are you questioning my methods, Carter? What happened to trusting me?"
"I have about a million thorns broken off in my legs, that's what happened to trusting you." She glared at him, though a playful smile started to appear on her lips. "If I get poison ivy, I'm going to kill you, fair warning."
"Duly noted." He nodded toward the hill they'd been climbing for hours, the hill that seemed more and more like a mountain as they forged their own trail over it. "We're heading east. We keep heading east until we find a road, then we follow the road until we find a car I can steal."
She closed her eyes, mentally erasing the last comment he'd made. "What if there's no road?"
"There will be a road."
"What if there's no road, John?" She needed to hear that he had some idea where they were, even though she knew he didn't have the faintest clue either.
"We'll eventually hit civilization, Carter. A road, a town, something."
Didn't the man recognize a request for reassurance? "What if we just hit the ocean?"
He grinned, casually slinging an arm around her and squeezing her shoulder. "I always wanted to retire on a beach."
Ok, so she had to give him credit for knowing exactly what she was asking. She leaned toward him and rested her head on his chest. "Oh, good, me too."
They stayed like that for several minutes and still, it was far too soon when John rubbed her shoulder. "We should probably get going again before we fall asleep."
"Shit, sleep sounds really nice right about now." She sat up. "I'm guessing that's the dehydration talking."
His arm didn't move from around her despite his intent to get up. "Yeah, when we get to the top, we'll look for water."
"And a road."
"And a road." He squeezed her shoulder again.
She stood, biting back the groan of exhaustion from her unhappy muscles. At the end of whatever road they found, she was getting a massage. And a hot bath. And a big, hearty, terribly unhealthy meal. Though the order of those items was entirely negotiable. "Come on, this mountain isn't going to climb itself."
John followed her head, unexpectedly reaching over to grab her hand and interlacing their fingers. She told herself it was because she'd just fallen, but she knew it made no sense. Plus there was the little matter of what he'd said the night before that comforted her. He was holding her hand because he wanted to. She smiled and fell in step next to him.
There was a road. It wasn't nearly close enough, but they could see it. She was so happy she almost cried. As it was, she just had to endure the self-righteous smirk on John's face, which, she was willing to admit only to herself, really wasn't much of a punishment. Of course, they needed to descend the far side of the mountain they'd spent the day climbing and then get halfway up the next one to get to it.
She looked over at the man who hadn't let go of her hand. "I'm starving."
"So am I." He glanced at her, reading her face. "What?"
"Aren't you trained for wilderness survival? Can't you kill a bear with your hands?"
He chuckled. "Maybe, but I'd really rather not attempt it unless absolutely necessary, just in case." Something skittered through the dry leaves a few feet from them. "Fairly certain I could kill whatever that thing is."
"I'm not sure raw field mouse is going to fill me up, definitely not if I have to split it with you."
He grinned. "We'd probably get rabies from it."
"Can you catch rabies from meat?" She pondered the question for a moment, knowing that she needed water more than she needed food.
"Let's not find out, ok?" He stepped forward, starting the descent.
"Damn it, John, we just climbed up this damn mountain for no reason."
"It was for a reason, now we know where the road is." He tugged on her hand, cocking an eyebrow. "You know the good thing about valleys?"
She really kind of wanted to stomp her feet and refuse to move, to send him ahead to get help, but the truth was that the woods would be far more intimidating without him next to her. "Enlighten me."
"There's water at the bottom."
Turning away from him, she eyed the thick growth of plants and trees below. He was right. And then, her aching body didn't matter so much anymore, not with the prospect of a nice cool drink of water awaiting her.
The trip down took a lot less time, not because it was easier, but because both of them were tired and dehydrated and stumbling. It was a hell of a lot easier to trip and slide toward the destination. In fact, John found the water a few seconds sooner simply because he landed in it. By the time she reached his side, he was already gulping water out of his cupped hand.
She was giggling as she knelt down beside him, thinking of how she normally turned her nose up at tap water, and yet there she was, drinking water directly from a stream.
And fuck if it wasn't the best water she'd ever had.
Though the fact that she was insane with thirst might have clouded her judgment.
She drank until she was sick to her stomach and then moved on to dousing herself with water, cleaning the mud and muck and blood from all the cuts off herself.
John put his hand on her arm when she went to gulp some more. "Careful, not too fast."
She glared at him, knowing he was right, wishing she could store some for later. They were going to start climbing the next hill, the last bit before the road. But there was no telling how far they'd be walking along the road or when the next drink would be coming.
It took all of her resolve to get back on her feet. "It's going to be dark by the time we get to the road."
He nodded. "Less chance of being spotted."
He didn't need to tell her it was good news. The men who'd taken them would have a harder time finding them. Provided they didn't get run over, they could possibly make it to a phone and get home. Oddly, it was somehow disappointing. Maybe she'd been looking forward to retiring on the beach with John. Or maybe she just wanted to spend more time with him, regardless of the circumstances. Or maybe, just maybe, his words from the night before, though unexpected, were hardly unwelcome.
If ever there was a more doomed relationship, she'd be hard pressed to name it. She didn't want to dwell on it, and yet, trapped with the man with absolutely no distractions, it seemed she didn't have any other options besides contemplating a possible relationship with him.
Reese watched Carter as she walked. They'd been ecstatic when they found water, but her mood seemed to change suddenly as they continued. He wanted to ask her about it, but he couldn't. She trusted him to keep her safe, they worked together on occasion, but they weren't friends. He couldn't just pry into her emotions and expect an answer. Chalking it up to exhaustion, he tried not to think about it.
He was glad when night fell, veiling her face in shadow so he couldn't see how upset she was. The longer it went without asking her what was wrong, the more impossible it became for him to say anything. He'd had hours now to wonder, to worry that she'd hurt herself one of the times she'd fallen, to wish he'd mentioned it when he'd first noticed it instead of letting her suffer.
They'd finally reached the road and were limping along the blacktop, eyes peeled for some sign of life in either direction, a car, a town, anything.
Her voice was soft, hesitant, her words so slow that it took him time to string them together into a sentence.
But when he did, he was fairly certain his heart stopped.
"I heard you last night."