I've been ill for the past weekend but I feel a tad better today at least.
The next morning, Josie was alone in the cottage. Eating alone, sleeping alone, existing alone. Sitting in front of the fireplace, she somehow managed to light alone. There had not been a single sign of Bryan since their encounter and she had no way of contacting him.
He had been gone the previous day and the night. Every time, something would make a noise outside, she hoped it had been him so she could apologize. Or they could at least talk it out. But it had just been the forest settling or an animal. Of course, the wind decided to evolve into a full-blown storm and she grew worried while the world grew colder.
Now on her own, she had never felt so lonely before.
That morning, the storm continued to howl outside as Josie contemplated if she should call home and vent to her parents, hardly hearing the sound of a car driving close to the cottage. It wasn't until the door sprung upon that her lonesomeness was eased.
"And we are here!" Lei exclaimed, hanging his jacket onto a hook by the door. Finally, inside, Zafina went to brush off droplets from her coat and hung it next to the jacket. Her eyes lit up upon seeing Josie alive and well only to frown as she got a grasp of her emotions.
She spun around and returned to her jacket, pulling out a strange flat device before she made her way to Josie. "Are you alone? Where is Fury?"
"I don't know," Josie shrugged, pulling her knees to her chin, "He's been gone since yesterday because I made him mad…"
Zafina's expression soured, as she looked at the device before tossing it over to Lei, "Looks like he's on his way back. Lei, you should confront him and make him apologize. In the meantime, I will stay with her."
Lei nodded, although Josie quickly picked up the anxiety and displeasure from him. Never mind Zafina who was internally fuming; thankfully not to the inhuman degree where Josie felt crushed by the lust of destruction. Soon, the two women were alone and Zafina's anger turned to concern as she looked at Josie, her eyes scanning for any signs of abuse.
"Did he hurt you? You don't need to lie for his sake."
"No, I think I hurt him actually. You see, I'm into him somehow and I went out swimming and dragged him along and we went to the shower, and…the mood shifted. I could feel these emotions radiating off from him like a solar beam and with my own feelings, I…I kissed him and it felt good. I guess he didn't like that," Josie mumbled a bit as she spoke, her cheeks reddening at the memory of her first kiss.
For that had been her very first. Not a very glamorous adventure in hindsight even if it had felt good at the moment.
In front of her, Zafina sat in stunned silence, staring at her with concern as the fireplace cackled next to them, "…Josie, why would you give your heart to such a man?"
"Why him, I don't know. I don't choose who I like but I don't hate the fact it's him. I felt like I could trust him and I did and so with that, I came to understand that I'd like to love someone one day. And that someone turned out to be him."
Josie had come to see Zafina as someone who carried her emotions with dignity; the powers of her inhumane hand being her one limit that took over occasionally and yet she was elegant and controlled. Therefore it came as a surprise when she sat, staring at Josie with utter disbelief, "Have you confused your loneliness for infatuation for him?"
"I don't think so. It began when I held hands with him and my powers didn't go off. For the first time, I didn't focus on my burden but instead on someone else. And I felt the warmth from him and it hit me too. I think that was when I fell in love. And…he's kinda cute."
A familiar heat spread across her cheeks. As she spoke, the unpleasant memories of yesterday's events resurfaced. Zafina of course was not convinced. But thankfully, she let whatever doubts she had at bay, warming up considerably.
"Josie. I propose we do some training with your powers. Not for his sake but for yours. There is a saying that I use when I face any adversary. ''Stay still on rippling water''. If you keep your head up high, even when it hurts, you will persevere."
Outside the storm continued to rage on with winds whistling through the cracks of the cottage, contrasting the calm atmosphere inside. Slowly, Josie felt Zafina's finger over her hand and a slew of images began flooding her. A strange childhood, being raised by men in robes, an encounter with the otherworldly, a future of death, and fear of hurting others.
There was a lot to take in, and Josie was unsure of what to focus on as the influx of images continued but she decided to streamline the input, trying to create a linear route through Zafina's memories as she closed her eyes. A clear path with lanterns, each containing a memory. If she could shun them all; imagining them as lamps on an endless walkway and contain them that way, she could-
A shattering headache cut through every memory, causing blood to gush out of her nose and Josie collapsed onto the floor, close to losing consciousness. She had dug too deep, tried too hard and now she lay on the floor, tears welling up in her eyes from the throbbing pain in her head. Zafina gasped, then leaped to her feet to gather some tissues. After mere moments, she had returned, carefully wiping away the blood from Josie's nose and then the floor.
"Are you okay?!"
Josie groaned while she worked her way to the couch by the fireplace and lay down "Barely…"
Through the winds outside, Lei's voice could be heard yelling; "There you are! Where have you been?"
Though dazed, Josie was relieved to hear Bryan's voice again. "Stop yelling, Wulong. A better question would be what the fuck is up with this ancient dump."
"It's a summer home! It's my pride."
"Your pride sucks. Now get out of my way."
Conflicting emotions seemed to flow into the cabin; one side was anxious, the other frustrated. Silence outside the cabin continued to drag until Lei spoke up, "I think you should refrain from going inside. Zafina is with Josie."
"Yeah, well. I don't give two shits about your mule but I'm freezing and I'd like to get inside before I get frostbite on my ass," Bryan growled, no closer to getting inside. From the sounds of it, Lei blocked the entrance to the cabin.
"That's your own fault for going out in a storm. And I think Josie needs a break from you."
"Did your freaky bitch teach you faux psychology?"
"No but it's pretty apparent that something happened between you two – and now she thinks she hurt you. You know, somehow she managed to look past…you and saw something, no one else has seen. She really cares about you. You should treat her right."
Upon hearing their conversation, Josie tried to stand up, ignoring the swirling of the world around her and the blurriness of her vision. A blanket landed over her shoulders and two hands tried to make her sit back down again but her moderate stubbornness made her worm her way out of Zafina's grasp as a heavy melancholy surged into the cabin, unmasked by the storm. She was well aware of its source for she had felt it before.
"Before I met you, I read through your files including what has been recorded of your early history. Given the man, you are today, it's not surprising. I…pity you, really." Lei said but there was no response from Bryan. But Josie could feel his presence still. And worse yet, she could feel sorrow from him eroding his initial frustration. Lei continuing didn't help matters.
"I bet you care about her deep down, but you won't allow yourself to acknowledge that. You're scared of it, aren't you? People aren't as terrible as you think they are. Believe it or not, good people do exist, and they won't die or fuck you over. You know she is one of them. She could be good for you. If you continue to push her away, you'll lose her for good."
A miasma of emotions entered the cabin; warmth, determination, sorrow, fear, and regret. All blended together into a hotpot of sensations that made it impossible for Josie to make sense of it. Worse yet, it left her dizzy.
"…Fuck off, Wulong," Bryan spat. By the sounds of it, he stood right in front of Lei, as his voice was clearer through the roars of the storm.
"Are you really trying to run away from her again? You can't handle that there's a kind person who does actually want to be near you of all people? You can't hide from her forever and think she's gonna put up with you pushing her away. When your journey is over, she will be out of your life for good if you don't do something. I don't think she wants that but everyone has their limits. Whether you like it or not, she will leave you and then you'll be right back where you started; alone and scared. A coward angry at the world, who pushed away the one person who cared about him," Lei groaned, irritation permeating his every word.
The determination that emanated from him immediately turned to fear. Perhaps because he had managed to anger Bryan to a terrifying degree.
"What the fuck did you just say?! I'll cave your damn face in, Wulong. How about that? Maybe it'll shut that fat fucking mouth of yours!"
At that moment, Zafina jumped to her feet, marched to the door, and flung the door open, wind and rain pouring inside the cabin. From her position, Josie staggered to the entrance, catching a glimpse of Bryan completely drenched in the rain. For a moment their eyes met until Zafina said; "Defensive aggression would suggest there's truth to what Lei said. If it didn't strike a nerve, you would not react like that."
"…If this is some kind of impromptu therapy session, you two can kindly knock it off and go fuck yourselves in the meantime," Bryan growled and stormed off, into the forest once more. This time, Josie couldn't just bear to watch him go. Against the limited strength of her body and the pleas of Lei and Zafina, she ran into the storm, to chase him down.
For once, her powers proved useful as she was free from running in circles and instead chased the wave of emotions from him. They grew stronger with every step she took, stronger than the harsh wind or endless rain or the grogginess of her mind. Amazingly her reflexes seemed to function just fine, allowing her to leap over fallen branches.
Eventually, Josie reached the clearing of the forest, collapsing onto the cold, wet grass. Her lungs burned and her brain pounded furiously behind her forehead. Standing up proved to be bit of a struggle, as she had hardly recovered from the session with Zafina or running through a storm but the state of her health didn't concern her; she could see Bryan standing a few meters away from her with the hood of his jacket pulled up. He noticed her when she tried to stand, jogging over to her side.
"What are you doing here?" he asked with a deep frown.
"I came looking for you."
He knelt before her, wrapping her up in his jacket. It had already been soaked so it hardly did anything to shield Josie from the rain.
"We're in the middle of a storm, Josie. Have you lost your damn mind?"
Josie didn't respond to that. Instead, she trailed her hands over his chest, stopping at his scars. He was quiet and displeased but didn't stop her. Muddied images flashed before her eyes; war, mayhem, his death, his rebirth. Slowly she removed her hands and his expression saddened. She saw something, she wasn't supposed to. Or at least, it felt that way. But seeing so much pain, brought some meaning to Bryan's behavior.
He asked, genuinely confused by her actions "Why did you do that?"
"Because I wanted to. I'm sorry…"
"So, I take it, you saw everything, didn't you?"
His features twisted into sour sorrow, unfiltered for the first time. It made Josie realize why he had reacted the way he did. The issue wasn't her; it was the difference between them. The safe environment she came from contrasted with the world of chaos he was living in. Any sane person would never cross the worlds, but Josie did and now she had seen what lay on the other side. In a way, it warmed her heart knowing that there was a possibility he reciprocated her feelings.
"Shit, well now you know," Bryan grabbed her hand and pressed it against one of their scars. More images emerged in bits and pieces until it became too much. Images of a broken household. Death. Violence daily. People coming, only to vanish. A lifetime of pain and mistrust. The crushing rain just barely soothed the returning headache and she groaned until something wet sprang from her nostrils whilst her eyes began to tear up.
Bryan quickly let go of her hand and she tried to collect her thoughts and adjust to the pain. Not just the one to her body but the agony she felt within those memories. The suffering, the anger, the fury; it made her want to curl up and cry. Staggering to stand on her feet, Josie almost fell to her knees when two arms got a hold of her and eased her into sitting on the wet grass. It didn't matter so much anymore since the rain was endless and they were both soaked to the bone.
"I'm so sorry," she sobbed "It must have been so painful."
"Are you crying for me again? Stop that, would you?" he wiped away the blood from her nose and tears from her eyes.
"There you have it. The person that I am. Now stop being kind. Stop liking me or thinking of me as a good person. Stop…doing whatever the hell you tried to do yesterday. If you were a total bitch, I could stand it but you're not and I don't do well with that. So for your own sake, hate me as everyone else does."
"No," she grabbed him by his mechanical hand, "I can't hate you easily either, and certainly because of that. As long as it's you, it's fine. If you tell me to stop because you don't like me, then I'll stop but I won't ever hate you."
"Fucking hell. You really do not give a single shit about what I am, do you?"
She smiled, "If I did, I wouldn't be here."
"Despite everything?"
"Despite everything."
A wave of warmth, washing away the earlier melancholy emerged from Bryan, stronger than Josie had felt from him until now. It was enough to make her heart soar and ignore the freezing cold of the weather.
"I'm starting to wonder which one of us is the crazy one," he smiled at her, genuinely as he pulled the hood of the jacket over her head. By now, her own body heat had somewhat warmed it, helped by the cloth clinging to her body.
Carefully, he helped her stand, still holding her by the hand. It reminded Josie of the moment shared between them in Doctor B's lab but this time, the feelings were mutual, and she was ready to cry with joy. She probably did though the rain hid it well.
Her cheeks warmed as she spoke, "You said it yourself. We're both insane."
But she would rather be insane and happy than sane and alone, especially with the way her heart beamed in the presence of her first love.