Disclaimer- I do not own Narnia!

I hope you enjoy this chapter! I loved writing it!

The waves the ocean was creating caused the ship to rock up and down, up and down. On this voyage, I dared to step up to the edge of the boat and look as the foaming waters crashed against the side. I feared no water, not after what I had gone through.

It had been almost three months since Susan, Edmund, and I started our journey to Tashbaan. It seemed like it was almost a different lifetime or perhaps even a dream. Everything was different now.

The things I feared before, such as drowning, seemed so insignificant to me now. I had faced true danger and I now knew that there were most terrifying things to be afraid of than water. My perspective of the world was altered too. During my captivity, I felt as if I was on the side lines, watching as my life passed me by. Freedom has shown me that I was once again in control of my destiny and my actions. I was no longer being controlled. I was free to be Lina... just Lina.

I was able to be who I was beginning to become before this whole debacle happened. I was learning to laugh, to play, and forget anyone who stood in the way and it felt good. For the first time in a long while, my heart did not feel like it was shattered into a million little pieces.

"Oh, sorry. I did not see you there."

Speaking of the heart...I turned around to see Edmund standing in the doorway looking as if he was terrified of me out of all people. A small smile appeared on my face.

"It's fine."

Edmund nodded before the two of us lapsed into an awkward silence that reminded me of how we used to be when we first met. You know, as I stood there looking at Edmund look at me, I remembered back to Edmund's confession on the archery field and couldn't help but look back out at ocean. At least, the water wasn't staring back at me.

"I shall just go then..." Edmund muttered.

I heard his footsteps start to fade. On impulse, I turned around and called out to Edmund, trying to stop him from leaving. "I'd like you to stay." I blurted out.

Edmund stopped dead in his tracks. He continued to face the way he was headed as if trying to decide whether or not he was going to do what I was requesting of him. It was only when he began to turn around that I realized I had been holding my breath. Gosh, what was wrong with me? This was Edmund for crying out loud! I didn't get nervous around him, at least, I didn't anymore.

"As you wish, my lady." He said in almost a whisper.

I gave him a small lopsided smile as he walked back over and stood beside me at my place by the railing. The two of us looked out on the water awkwardly after that. I didn't know what to say and I don't think he did either. Nothing like this had ever happened to me before.

I was Lina Foster. The rich girl who was too strange for most of the other wealthy kids in New York. I should have been ripped from my high status in society for being a total loner freak. People just didn't admit that they loved me. Heck, my own mother wouldn't do that and she gave birth to me.

The silence continued as we watched the electric blue waves crash upon the boat. Finally, when I felt as if I was going to go even more crazy than I already was, I spoke.

"Ed, please say something." I pleaded. "I have heard too much silence in the last few months."

The boy's soulful brown eyes turned to look into my green ones. He stared at me with a mixture of indifference and confusion written on his hard face. Edmund looked down at his hands and let out a deep breath.

"What would you like to hear me say?" He asked with his eyes still directed downward.

I thought about it. What did I need to hear? Did I need to hear him say that he didn't love me and it was all just a plan to make sure I won the contest? Did I need to hear him say that I was supposed to be with his brother and how dare I even have thoughts about him? Or, perhaps, did I just need to hear him tell me that he truly did love me?

"I would like to hear the truth." I told him quietly.

Edmund looked up at me again and began to search my eyes for something that seemed to be terribly important. His face suddenly softened and before I knew what was going on Edmund grabbed the back on my neck and pulled me close to him. His lips crashed down upon mine and all sense that I had ever possessed left me instantly.

His kiss was sweet and gentle but at the same time furious and passionate. It was then that I realized that he had meant what he said back on the archery field. Edmund have feelings for me, strong ones.

I found myself smiling against his lips and wrapping my arms around his neck. He took me closer into his arms as he kissed me furiously again. Edmund wrapped his arms around my waist tightly as if he could not get me close enough to him.

I suddenly felt a sharp pain in my stomach when I was pressed into his chest. I pulled away from him, mumbling a small "ouch".

He looked down at me, out of breath. "Are you alright? Did I hurt you?" The Just King asked frantically.

I took a deep breath myself before grasping tightly at my stomach. I shook my head. "No, I am just sore."

Edmund looked at me with worried, questioning eyes. "What did he do to you?" He asked after a small pause.

I pursed my lips and looked down at the water. "He made me strong." My eyes drifted back to Edmund. "Edmund, I am not going to lie to you and say that everything was fine when I was with Rabadash. It was a living nightmare that I would not wish upon anyone." I paused. "But, for all that he did that was so horrible he made up for it by helping me find myself...I lost myself first; but, in the end I found my way back."

My eyes drifted back down to the ocean. Whether this was due to embarrassment or a strange epiphany, I wasn't sure. But all I knew was that I could not look up at Edmund right now. I was vulnerable, more so than I ever have been around another human being and it kind of scared me

I felt Edmund's fingers go gently under my chin and lift my head so I looked him in the eyes. "You look down to no one."

Out of habit, I looked down again. "I look down out of embarrassment." I mumbled.

"What are you embarrassed about?" Edmund inquired.

I just sighed. "Standing here. Alone...with you."

I finally looked up at him only to see that he had a hurt expression on his face. "I see...well, I suppose I will leave you alone then."

The boy began to turn to walk away but I quickly grabbed his wrist. "Wait..."

Edmund looked at my small hand wrapped around his broad wrist. He took my hand into his free one before looking up at me, waiting for me to continue. "I-I don't know what's wrong with me." I looked down at our entwined fingers before looking back up into his brown eyes. "It's like all of a sudden I cannot be around you without feeling like a complete fool." I paused. "I mean, we used to be great friends but now it's like...it's like it all changed."

"I am still the same person, Lina." Edmund said, somewhat confused.

"Yeah, I know that but it's just..." I stopped. I couldn't figure out the right words to say. Heck, I didn't even exactly know what I wanted to say. I just knew that I had to say something, ANYTHING, to make him understand what I was going through right now. "Now things are different between us."

"Why?" He asked, trying to keep his smooth composure. "Why must they be different?"

I looked down again. "Because you told me how you feel about me...and I feel the same way."

Edmund's hand that was not holding mine went up to stroke my cheek. Our eyes met and he smiled. "As far as I am concerned that is a very good thing, Lina." I gave him a half smile in return. It should have been a good thing to be in love with someone that loves you back except... "What is the matter?" Edmund asked.

I shook my head and a single tear came to my eyes. "Peter."

Edmund's forehead wrinkled up at my solitary word.

"What about Peter? After all he has done for me, after everything...I cannot hurt him, Ed. I just can't." My half smile turned into a full frown as the realization registered in my mind.

Edmund's hands dropped to his sides, leaving the spots where his touch once was feeling cold. He turned away from me and leaned his forearms on the railing. "So, what do we do?"

I sighed. "I don't know."

The two of us lapsed into a sorrowful silence. Why must this happen? I'd rather have died back in Tashbaan then hurt either one of the kings by coming back. My mind was telling me that Peter was the better choice. He was strong and sensible and completely incredible. Peter was always a gentleman and treated me like a queen even before he knew me. I knew that I would always be safe and happy with Peter.

On the other hand, my heart was telling me that Edmund was the one I should be with. As the saying goes, there is a fine line between love and hate and Edmund and I had been straddling that line since we met. Edmund drove me crazy sometimes with how much he tried to keep me from getting to know him. He loved to torment me with crazy mind games that both intrigued and bothered me. We had fights and didn't really understand each other but that was part of the beauty of it all. You see, Edmund and I were so similar that it would only be nature for us to hate and love each other at the same time. If I chose Edmund there would be a good chance that we would fight more than we got along. Despite all of these things, though, my heart was telling me that I had to take a gamble with him. After all, that's what love is, right?

So who to listen to? The heart or the mind?

"Lina, there you are!" My eyes shot up to see the other man of my dreams. Peter came walking towards me with a Hollywood smile on his face. I saw Edmund stand up straight at his brother's entrance and put on an air of complete seriousness.

I looked from one brother to another and couldn't help but turn away. I leaned greatly on the railing as I looked out over the ocean to try and put my guilt and heart ache at bay. I felt as if I was going to be sick because of it.

"Are you okay?" I heard the voices of Edmund and Peter say in unison followed by an awkward silence between them. I just nodded, not trusting myself to turn around.

I felt a hand on the small of my back and saw that Peter was now leaning on the railing next to me. I looked over at him; he was just standing there as perfect as ever.

I managed a little smile and a couple of words. "I'm okay...being on a boat still makes me a little nervous."

Peter smiled. "Well, how about we get away from the edge and go for a walk? It has been too long since we have had some time alone."

I looked over at Edmund for a split second only to see that he was looking away from me in the opposite direction. He was mad at me for talking so casually with Peter, that much was certain. I couldn't blame him for it, though. I took a deep breath and suddenly words began to tumble out of my mouth. "Okay, that sounds...nice."

I saw Edmund's eyes shoot over to look at me before he pursed his lips. "Well I shall leave the two of you to it, then." He said.

His hurt brown eyes locked with mine for a split second. In that second I saw something in his eyes that completely crushed me. To Edmund, by agreeing to walk with Peter and leave him I had made my choice. To him, I had chosen Peter. I opened my mouth to say something but he shook his head as if silently saying he did not want to hear it before he walked off through the nearest door in all haste.

"What's the matter with him?" Peter asked with genuine concern.

I looked at the spot where Edmund disappeared. I, somewhat, expected him to come back and tell Peter to get his hands off of me but he never did. I held my breath for a moment as I continued to watch. I needed him to come back. I needed to tell him that he had it all wrong. I needed him to know that my heart belonged to him.

But he never came back. I felt hot tears rush into my eyes and I blinked wildly to hold them back. "I don't know." I told Peter with a cracking voice. I looked up at him with a small, fake smile playing across my face. Apparently, it was enough to fool him into thinking that all was well.

Peter smiled back at me and tucked a stray hair behind my ear. "Come on." He said sweetly as he began to pull me across the deck. As we walked on, I could not help but take one more fleeting look at the door. It was still closed.

I raced around like a mad woman trying to find Edmund. I had just left Peter with some of his advisors who had some sort of business or another to attend to with him. We had only spent an hour or two strolling around the ship but it seemed like an eternity to me. All I could think of was Edmund and how much I had ruined things between us. I had checked all of the decks before I flew into his quarters only to see that they were empty, too. I stood in his doorway, taking deep gasping breaths. I felt defeated and slide down the door frame. I didn't know where else to look.

Suddenly, I heard laughter coming from below me. My forehead wrinkled up as the sound continued. I got up and looked for the nearest staircase. Two doors down from Edmund's room was a flight of rickety wooden stairs. Slowly, I descended down into what looked like the cargo hold of the ship. The laughter came up again and I thought it was coming from the back corner of the room.

"Hello?" I called out as I maneuvered myself through the boxes and crates to get to the source of the noise.

The person started laughing again as I rounded the last row of crates. I looked down to see Edmund sitting there with an three fourths empty bottle of wine in his hand. I sighed as I collapsed in front of him.

He continued to laugh hysterically while leaning back against a barrel. When his fit ended he opened his eyes. Once it registered in his mind who I was his face fell and the king narrowed his eyes at me. "Oh, it's you." He slurred.

I nodded as I took his flushed cheeks in my hands. "Oh, Ed. What did you do to yourself?" I asked quietly.

He jerked his face away from me and snarled. "Wh-what ddoes it loo-kk like? I'm...drunk."

"Yes, that much is clear." I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm. I watched him quietly as he took another swig of wine. "But why?" I asked seriously.

Edmund glared at me with such intensity that I felt a slight sting in my chest because of it. "Wwhy do you thinkk, Lina?"

I looked down at his words. "Edmund..."

He laughed. "Th-there you g-go again. Lookin' down at you hands like a li-ttle ch-child." His laughter ended and he took another drink. "Wwhy are yyyou here?"

"I was looking for you." I told him.

Edmund snorted. "Andd wwhy would you be doing tthat? Yyou made yyour choice and I" he motioned to himself with the bottle, sloshing the dark liquid all over his light blue tunic. "was nnot it."

I looked up at him with horror struck eyes. "That is not true, Edmund. I...I..."

He raised an eyebrow. "You what?" He slurred.

I had to buck up the courage to say what I needed to say to keep him. I took a deep breath. "I love you." I had never said those words to another human being before. It was hard to get them out but necessary. I began to pray that it would be another to convince Edmund that all was not lost between us.

He looked at me as if his had sobered up for a moment before he started to laugh again. "No, you don't. Yyou lo-ove the Magnificent King Peter! He was yyour choice and rightly sh-should be! For he is a mu-much better man than I and like y-you said, we canno-tt hurt our-r precious Peter!"

"That isn't true, you are just as wonderful a man as Peter is." I told him with surprise in my voice . In his right mind, Edmund would never had said those words. He was too proud to say that anyone was better than him. Edmund would never look up to Peter as if he were below his brother. It was just not who he was.

"Ooh, but it tis'!" He said with the utmost confidence. "He has always been be-better at everything. Ever since we were little children!" He spat. Tears began to spill out of my eyes as I watched him. This wasn't Edmund and I hated to see him to act like this. It was killing me to see him so hurt.

He took yet another drink; the bottle was almost gone now. He looked at me as he chugged down the liquor. He wiped him mouth off with the sleeve of his tunic. "Why you crying?" He slurred. "You made your choice, Lina! Exc-cept it! I have." He brought the bottle up so I could see how he had chosen to "handle it".

"I did not make any choice!" I yelled, starting to get angry and frustrated. More tears streamed down my face.

"Ah, but you-you did, love." He chuckled again. "Oh, what a fool you made me look, Lina! You ma-made me think that we w-would end up together! Oh, how-w I l-love to dream and how you love to plant tho-those dreams in m-my head! But, alas, I have now woken up and it is ov-over between us." He said.

My whole being went numb at his words. I turned my face away from him to wipe fiercely at the my tear stained cheeks. "You do not mean that."

He chuckled. "Oh, but I do." He tipped the bottle all the way up and finish the last of the wine. He wiped his mouth again before throwing the bottle as hard as he could against the wall, causing glass to shower down all around us. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the barrel. "I w-wish you never came to Naria, Lina. All-all you have caused m-me is pain."

Those words were like a sharp knife inside my chest that completely cut my heart out and left me bleeding and torn on the hard wooden floor of the cargo hold. I let out a couple of uncontrollable sobs and wiped my eyes again. I looked up at the Just King through blurred eyes.

"Ed-"

"Go away, Lina. Leave me be." He said quietly, half passed out.

"But, Ed-"

"GO!!" He yelled furiously.

I looked at him for a second and saw that he was completely serious. I nodded slowly before standing up shakily. I began to walk away when I heard a few mumbled words.

"Why did I let myself love her? Why?" He asked into the open air. I stopped for a split second, ready to say something. But nothing could be said. I had spoiled everything between Edmund and me.

Edmund hated me. He said that he wished I never came to Narnia.

Like the wine bottle, I had shattered into a million sharp, little pieces.

I walked calmly up the stairs. When I reached the top, I began to run to my own room. I slammed the door and collapsed onto the bed. Never in my life had I felt such heart wrenching pain.

And it was all my own fault.

Hope you liked it! Please let me know what you think! Thank you for reading!