This is what I call a bridge chapter, I hope I kept it moderately interesting. I've written quite a bit ahead, a new update should be out soon. Once again, thank you to those who reviewed! Your comments make me feel fuzzy inside. So does the number of people who added this to favorites/alerts, I'm so surprised! *love* Also, I had a typo in the last chapter, please do point those out. I read these over but stuff gets missed anyway.
Merlin was awake but he kept his eyes closed. He was laying on something very soft and comfortable. The pleasant scent of flowers was carried to him by a warm breeze. Even with his eyes closed he could tell he was in a sunny place. This was a good place. Was it…Merlin struggled to think, the balmy air made it difficult, was this heaven? The last thing he remembered was being run through with a sword…had he died? He must have, there was no way he could have survived that…
Even though the air, perfumed with flowers, the feathery-soft bed, and his own body told him he should simply drift back to sleep, Merlin made the decision to open his eyes. After all, he had always wondered what heaven would look like. He made to move, but there was something wrong. His body was heavy and sore and when he tried to move a severe pain shot through him, radiating from his midsection. He willed his eyes to open, and they did.
He was staring at a dark red, velvet canopy. He looked down and around, as much as he could without trying to move again. There was a wash basin, a wardrobe, and an armor rack, all of which he recognized instantly for he had cleaned them many times before. He was in Arthur's room, in Arthur's bed. As he realized this, there was a shriek and the sound of breaking pottery. The sudden noise made him start and jump, which cause a wave of pain to crash through his body.
"Gaius?" a voice shouted, "Lancelot?" Then, before Merlin had a chance to sort any of this out, he was smothered in a tight embrace and kisses were being planted all over his face.
"Oh, Merlin!" the voice squealed. At last, the arms holding him released just enough for Merlin to be able to see his assailant.
"Gwen?" he asked incredulously. With difficulty he raised his arm high enough to touch her shoulder, to make sure she was really there. "Then," he continued, "I'm not dead?"
"We all thought you were," Gwen choked, wiping tears from her eyes, "Everyone thought this would be your deathbed, until last night when you finally showed improvement. But I didn't think you'd wake today! Oh, Merlin, I'm sorry, I just…can't seem to stop crying!"
"It's all right, here, help me sit up properly."
"Of course." It took a bit of struggling, but Merlin was rightly set up when Gaius, Lancelot, and Gwaine entered the room. Merlin smiled at the sight of his friends and Gaius's kindly face.
"Sorry we didn't come straight away," Lancelot apologized, "But Gwaine would have thrown a fit had we gone to get him."
"We thought you were done for," Gwaine smiled, but his tone was grave.
"Well, I'm alive!" Merlin said in a cheery tone and gave them all a reassuring look. "I guess I have you to thank, Gaius."
"I did what I could," Gaius replied seriously, "But if Arthur hadn't gotten you back here so quickly all my efforts would have been for naught. He made it back from that village in a day. I don't know where he found the speed, but any later and you would have been beyond my help."
"Where is Arthur anyway?" asked Merlin, "I'd think he'd be wanting his bed back now that I'm awake. Why am I in his bed, by the way?"
The air in the room shifted drastically. Gwaine and Lancelot exchanged darkly significant glances, Gwen looked away. Gaius folded his hands solemnly.
"What? What's happened?" Merlin scanned their faces for clues.
"Merlin," Lancelot shifted uncomfortably, "How much do you remember about what happened?" Merlin furrowed his brow.
"Well, I remember being run through pretty clearly."
"Do, er, do you remember who did it?" Merlin didn't have to search his memory long.
"Yes…" Merlin's throat was suddenly dry, "It was Arthur." The realization made him a bit sick to his stomach. He looked down at the fine crimson bedspread.
"Merlin," said Gwen softly, "Don't take his absence here as a sign that he doesn't care. Until you showed improvement last night, he hadn't left this room for a week. He ladled water into your mouth, he kept a cool cloth on your head, and he even slept here on the floor beside your bed. I just don't think…" she took a deep breath, "I don't think he wanted to be here when you woke up."
"Ah, right," said Merlin, more shortly than he had intended. "Well tell him I want to see him."
"Merlin…"said Gwen pleadingly. Gaius interrupted her.
"Now is not the time, dear," he said gently. Gaius turned his attention to Merlin, gazing seriously at him.
"There's one other thing you must be aware of," he said, "Arthur knows." Merlin shook his head, confused.
"What?"
"We all know," said Gwaine, "About you." Merlin's eyes widened, cold understanding drenching him.
"You know," he said darkly.
"It seems," Gwaine continued, "that you used magic to—"
"—to save Arthur from being hacked to bits," Merlin finished. "He heard my incantation, saw my eyes, and he lunged."
"He didn't know who you were," said Lancelot pointedly.
"Does that matter?" Merlin snapped before he could stop himself. Lancelot looked taken aback by his tone.
"I-I'm sorry," Lancelot murmured. Merlin took a deep, steadying breath that made his wound stretch uncomfortably. His head cleared of his initial flash of anger.
"No, you're right, of course," said Merlin, a bit stiffly. "Just tell Arthur I'd like to see him. I'm not angry." He wasn't sure if the last part was true. If it hadn't been him that Arthur had stuck with his sword, if it had been someone else, Merlin doubted that Arthur would have tried so hard to save that magician. He would have let that person die and not given it a second thought, all because they practiced magic. Then again, Merlin knew Arthur well enough to know that Arthur was going through hell. His sympathy for Arthur overwhelmed the angry heat in his stomach. When he spoke again his voice was softer.
"Tell Arthur that I want to see him, please." A tense silence followed; no one was sure of what to say. Merlin stared down at the bedcovers again. It was Gwaine who finally cut the tension.
"Well, Lancelot and I must return to training. Leon's leading it and we'll be doing extra lunges for every minute we're gone." He put a hand on Merlin's head and ruffed up his hair. "Glad to have you definitively back among the living, Merlin. I'll stop by later for a chat, if you're feeling up to it." He flashed Merlin a toothy smile.
"I'm not going anywhere," Merlin grinned back at him. Gwaine clapped Lancelot on the shoulder and they left.
"Gwen," said Gaius, "Merlin hasn't eaten anything proper for three days, I'm sure he would enjoy a bit of solid food."
"Of course," she smiled at Merlin, "I'll go get you something from the kitchens." She exited as well. Gaius sat on a stool next to the bed.
"Merlin," he started, his voice grave, "I wasn't sure I should mention it in front of the others, but I don't know how you survived that day, especially rocking around on the back of a horse. You must have some very strong magic indeed." Merlin smirked at him.
"Either that, or destiny won't let me off that easily."
Arthur sat on the stone floor outside his room. He had been there, listening, trying to gather enough courage to enter, but had ultimately failed. Gwaine, Lancelot and Gwen entered the hall one by one. They all glanced at him simultaneously. Gwen bent down and gently touched his cheek before heading off to the kitchens. Gwaine scowled at him and said nothing. He turned on his heel and stomped down the hallway toward the training grounds. Lancelot sat down beside him.
"You heard him," said Lancelot at length. "He wants to see you."
"I can't," said Arthur blankly.
"Why?"
"Because I've been sitting out here for the last half hour, and I haven't been able to go in."
"Arthur," Lancelot gazed seriously at him, "you're the bravest person I know. You've faced down so many beasts—"
"And right now I'd rather face all of them at once without a sword than go in there and see Merlin's face," Arthur finished.
"But why?" Lancelot asked again. Arthur didn't look at him. He stared straight ahead at the stone wall. If he looked at his friend's face, he wouldn't be able to say it.
"Lancelot, I saw you last week by the lake," he started, struggling to keep his voice from breaking, "with Gwen." Though he had been dreading this moment, he was a little taken aback to find that saying it aloud didn't hurt as much as he thought it would.
Lancelot let out a groan and Arthur heard his head smack the wall.
"I…I don't know what to say," he mumbled.
"When I saw you together," Arthur continued, breathing steadily, "I felt like someone had reached inside me, twisted my heart and wouldn't let go. It was like I had fallen into this dark hole and I couldn't see the light above me. But I knew that if I started climbing upwards, I'd eventually get out, and everything would be okay, you know? But then I…Merlin…" Arthur couldn't bring himself to voice aloud what he had done. "When I thought Merlin had died, there was no getting out. Half of me was gone and what was left was only a pale shell. He means more to me than…" Arthur trailed off.
"Then you should be sitting in there with him." Arthur looked at his friend for the first time.
"I can never ask forgiveness for what I've done." Lancelot smiled consolingly.
"I think that Merlin has already forgiven you." Arthur's eyes widened, as if the most impossible thing in the world had happened. Lancelot stood up.
"I really do need to join the rest of the knights on the training field. Arthur, about Gwen…"
"There's no going back," said Arthur stiffly. "My friend," he added more softly.
"It's just that—" Lancelot began, but Arthur held up his hand.
"Nothing has changed between us," he assured. "So, see you later?" Lancelot nodded.
"We're all planning to bring our suppers in here and eat with Merlin. You should join us." Arthur gave a noncommittal grunt.