Thanks for the reviews you guys; you're all lovely people.
Lovely, lovely, lovely, people.
I happen to love Ed's in drag, and its where this thing spawned from; in this chapter, Double D must adjust to the new vibrant lifestyle of 'Edwina', and Kevin ogles the new girl,.. Not much l'amour, as of yet, but it's coming; give it a few more chapters, and it will come. This is the first chapter, but told in Edd's point of view.
02: Edwina, or Eddward's Very Eventful Day.
6:58.
The clock ticked by slowly, agonizingly, yet he was determined to keep his eyes locked onto the digital numbers; no movement would hiccup his icy gaze, as he waited for the numbers to finally change, and he could start and finish the first day of the deal. Smoothing the soft fabric of his dress over his legs, Edd toyed with the wig so it neatly graced his head, wiped a smudge from rogue mascara that smeared his cheek, and completed the necessary adjustments that would make the outfit more believable. After all, he would be sporting it for a good month; he might as well be used to it as soon as possible.
6:58.
"Curse modern technology," he muttered, as he fixed his eyes back upon the clock once again, and, to his chagrin, found the damned thing flashing the same numbers at him, "I bet they do this purposely, to give people like myself an anxiety attack…"
6:59. Finally, the numbers had switched, and it was then he rose from the bed, adjusting the straps to the bra (thank god for Sarah's growth spurt) so they wouldn't slip from his shoulders, and took the backpack in one hand, as the mirror passed him by. Edd looked back as he caught a fleeting glimpse of his reflection, and for a moment, he looked towards the door, then at the mirror. To the door, and back to the mirror. The door and the mirror.
"Oh, why not?" he broke; the pressure was too much for him to handle. Placing the knapsack on the floor, he straightened up the wig and approached his dresser, the mirror sitting directly above it, and stared in.
He wasn't too bad of a cross-dresser, if he had to say so. In fact, Double D found his feminine ruse quite a believable disguise; all his life he had been a scrawny and runty boy, but as a female, he could effortlessly pull it off. He was staring at a thin girl, with long eyelashes that almost brushed his cheek at every blink and shoulder-length black hair that had a neat shine to it. Her eyes were a pretty blue, and the blush of her cheeks made him think of a rose; if it hadn't of been himself, Double D would've harbored a major crush on this girl.
A car horn honked, startling him out of his stupor, and giving himself a quick look over, Edd grabbed the bag, shaking his head the entire way through the house.
"How narcissistic," he muttered, fixing the stupid wig once again; by the time the car honked again, the cold air slapped Double D in the face as he stepped outside, "checking myself out in the mirror. How sad."
But he had to admit, he was one attractive female.
"Damn, sockhead," as he stepped into the car, Eddy raised a brow, shamelessly looking over Double D and his 'new additions', "gotta admit, you clean up nice."
"Hello to you too, Eddy, Ed," the loveable oaf peeked over the front seat, waving heartily at Edd, his smile losing none of its brilliance even after taking in his friend's new appearance; Eddy waved offhandedly, unable to take his eyes off of Double D, "do you think anybody will recognize me? If they do, I think I'll succumb to death by embarrassment."
"Double D, I barely even recognize you. I've been checking you out the entire time."
He scoffed, flipping the black hair back behind his shoulder and staring into middle distance, not at the car interior but not at the moving outside world; pointedly, Edd made it obvious to not look Eddy in the eye, though he could feel the other's piercing gaze from the mirror on him.
"That's completely uncalled for," he scolded, unable to sit still during the few moments of silence, "and, just to remind you, I do have standards just like the other women in the school."
Eddy turned around, raising a brow at the irritated imposter, "Are you rejecting me?"
"Frankly, yes."
Double D folded his arms, staring at the passing landmarks and trees he had seen his entire lifetime, just the faintest traces of a smile crossing his lips; amusedly, he made no movement as Eddy's audible groan filled the silence of the car, and as he saw his friend's middle finger rise high into the air.
"Cold as ice, sockhead," he pouted, suddenly spinning the wheel to make a sharp, narrow turn; Double D barely had enough time to grab onto the seat in front of him as the car went flying, and he saw a flash of green when Ed's head softly hit the glass of the window, "cold as ice."
The wild ride came to a complete stop right smack in the middle of the school's parking lot. Already, though his head spun like a pinwheel on a windy summer day, he could see the kids filing into the three-floor building, books in hand and mouths going a mile a minute, rough-housing with friends or sitting down on the school's benches and reading a book; at the mere sight of these people, people he encountered every single day and knew by name, a sharp pain flared in Eddward's stomach. He was portraying the role of the new girl, fresh from San Francisco and ready to get a taste of the simple, quiet life of Peach Creek. But if someone ever got wind of the true story, if someone found out what was really going on…
Subconsciously, he straightened the wig, though the hairpiece had already been righted and applied correctly at the house; he toyed with the hem of the dress, smoothed over the heels of the shoes, brushed away any hint of makeup marks, anything that would give no one a reason to believe she was a he, Double D wiped away. Suddenly, a thought struck him so suddenly he actually jumped up in fear, grabbing the edges of the seat as if he let go he would go flying out. His friends in the front turned simultaneously, the same mix of surprise and confusion in their faces.
"What the hell's wrong with you?"
"I didn't talk to the office!" he nearly shrieked, grabbing at the ends of the wig, "this won't work! They'll call me by my real name and everyone will know who I actually am and my reputation will be ruined and I'll have to drop out and then I'll be a complete failure and I'll have to resort to using drugs to mask the pain and to get the drugs I'll have to sell myself and there's no way I'm letting some sweaty old guy touch me there—"
"Chill out, sockhead. I got you covered."
Double D failed to 'chill out'; in fact, he began to breathe harder, and he nearly felt the beginnings of a panic attack at the mere sight of the building that would surely ruin him.
"What do you mean 'chill out'!" The sentence was at a near-ear shattering level; throwing his hands in the air in rage, he refused to even look out the window until he straightened this obstacle out. Eddy simply laughed, and a cold gust of wind blew through the car as he opened the door.
"I mean chill out. I had the entire thing covered yesterday."
"Covered? What do you mean—"
"I mean I covered everything," he reiterated, moving his hands in a mock smoothing gesture, "I…well, Ms. Lee talked to the principal and all the teachers. They're expecting Edwina Marian Lee in class today, not Eddward Marian Lee."
"…Huh." He managed to spit the one word out, gazing at his usually selfish friend with such awe his companion actually turned away, grumbling at the starry gaze; what he did must've been a hell and a half of paperwork to sign, and taken a lot of effort and patience, "you're really not going to let me off this bet, are you?"
"Hell no." A paper with small print was shoved into his hands, and he could easily recognize it as a class schedule; on the top someone had scrawled the name Edwina, her grade and age and date of birth and under it were all the teachers she would have. He noted, though to himself, that Eddy made sure none of his regular classes would undergo change. Technically, if Edwina and Eddward were two separate identities, they would be seated next to each other every day; frankly, it was a weird thing to think about.
"Your classes, sockhead. Edwina today, Eddward tomorrow," he read Double D's mind to a T, stepping out into the open air of Peach Creek and slamming the door behind him, and Edd refused to return that smug grin he was given from outside the car's window, "let's start your first day, shall we?"
The backdoor of the car swung open, and though his companion held out a hand, Double D refused to accept it; slinging the knapsack over one shoulder, he slid out of the car, pulling the dress on the parts where it rode up. Already, he noticed a student from his chem class eyeing him like a lion on a gazelle, and resisted the urge to bolt right back into the vehicle, hijack the driver's seat and return home, where he could finally be rid of this ridiculous get-up and go back to regular, bookworm, Eddward.
But he made a bet; he made a bet, decided their wager, and shook on it. There was not a thing he could do now, except hope April turned out to be a very quick, un-progressive month.
"Lets." He smiled back at that smug grin, walking in unison with his two best friends as the building loomed in front of them, it's once welcoming doors now an entrance to unknown circumstances and adventures for Edwina.
Double D had never blushed so much in his lifetime.
It began in the wee hours of the school day, after the bell for first period had rang and Ms. Simmons had gone through the customary actions of introducing the 'cute' new girl to their Geometry class and made her take a seat. Of course, first period was the one time of the day he didn't have Ed or Eddy for companionship, and the little delinquent that always sat behind him in class, Sheldon Ratzvy, would always find some way to mock him; whether it be his lack of muscle or his social awkwardness, he would always find something.
Imagine the surprise on Eddward's (or Edwina's) face when a little sticky note with the words 'u free Saturday nite -S' scrawled in the middle of the paper appeared on his desk. The cretan would never allow the little nerdy boy to talk back to him; but he was no longer a little nerdy boy. He was the new girl fresh out of Los Angeles, who didn't like when people asked her out on sticky notes, and he made sure that obnoxious monster knew that.
"I wish I could've been there to see the look on his face!" Eddy roared with laughter, holding his sides as he walked with Edwina to second period, ignorant of the glowers and stares he received from passing men-folk, "Not even an hour in and you've already rejected someone. Sockhead, I think that's got to be a cross-dressing record."
"Ha-ha," the laugh was dry, humorless; he swatted at a rogue hand reaching for the back of his dress, sent a glare at the football player that gave him a flirtatious wink, "I never knew a wig could wield so much power. It's like everywhere I go I'm getting ogled or groped, or a combination," he played with the artificial strands of hair, sighing as it curled around his finger and bounced back up into place, "in the wrong hands, this can be used to destroy whole civilizations."
Eddy shook his head, "Well then, let's keep it on your head, okay?" holding open the door, he swept his hand in a mock-gesture of chivalry, ushering the drag-queen inside, "ladies first."
He shook it off, taking the customary seat next to Ed like usual (after the introduction, of course) unable to fully listen to the teacher's rousing lecture on physics when the two boys in the back were talking loudly about how big the new girl's boobs were; thankfully, the class went relatively swimmingly, and third, fourth, fifth-six and seven-eight went along without much of a hassle. There were the few scattered ass grabs and accidental bumps in the mix, but he could live with them.
Ninth period; Albertha Culkins, sixty-eight, a retired Olympic swimming champion and ex-songwriter, prattled on about the Shakespearian novel about some shrew when the bell finally rang; Double D had never heard such a sweeter sound in existence, and he resisted the urge to nearly bolt out the door as he waited for his companions to follow suit.
"So how was your first day as Edwina?" he winked, slinging a shoulder over Double D's small shoulders; the appendage was promptly tossed aside, and Eddy received a scalding look from the smaller male, "looks like you had a lot of fun, right?"
"Yeah, Double D," Ed chimed in, stuffing the books into his locker while simultaneously slurping down the gravy he had stolen from the lunch room like a gross slushie, "you must have a magnet in your brain, cause lots of guys were reaching out to touch you!"
The 'girl' scoffed softly; slinging the backpack over his shoulder once again, Edd began to head towards the doors to freedom, "After today, I never want to see a male adolescent again. They're all so…touchy-feel-y." He shivered.
"Don't look now, but I think someone over there would like to touchy-feel you up." He snickered, slamming the locker door shut and turning Double D's head to the crowded hallway; at first, he saw nothing but the scattered faces in the crowd, walking by and minding their own business, and as he turned back to ask Eddy what the problem was, he saw the problem.
The patch of red hair caught his eye first; then the tight blue shirt that all the football players wore and the cut-off pants came next. And though he stared him right in the eye, it took him a good second to realize it was Kevin he was looking at. Or, more accurately, it was Kevin that was looking at him.
Staring at him, more like it. Staring at him like he was the only person in the hallway that ever mattered, or would ever matter to him, staring like truly, he was interested in this new girl and intrigued by her presence; staring like if he would take his eyes off her, she would be lost to oblivion.
And frankly, the stare was creeping him out.
"What's wrong with him?" He whispered to Eddy; the other simply laughed, guiding the distracted Double D out with a hand to the back.
"He's got the hot's for the new girl."
"Not funny, Eddy." One last time, he turned to look back. Sure enough, Kevin hadn't budged. He could see the blue hair and head of Rolf attempting to guide him out of the school and into the car, but he simply refused to move; and just to humor him, Double D smiled, blinking the eyelashes the nicest way he could manage, and turning around before he could catch Kevin's reaction. He didn't need to see it to know what it was; he had been seeing that face all day.
"Not funny."