Runaway by Kibibe
Delusional
Later that morning Bella had fallen back into a dreamless slumber and Edward tried to lie her down, but her grip on his shirt was still iron tight. So he settled for a sitting position on the bed with her clinging to him, straddling his hips as Alice quietly opened the door.
What was that? She communicated to him in her thoughts her expression thoroughly worried.
"I don't know. I think she's had a nightmare. But a reaction like this " He whispered shaking his head in confusion while Alice sat down on the edge of the bed running her fingers through Bella's tangled hair.
"When will she wake up?" He asked.
In about a few hours. It seems to have been pretty exhausting for her. Rose and Emmett are going to stay away for a while, but Jasper is here in case we need to calm her down again.
"Thanks." Edward nodded. Anytime.
Later Bella woke up feeling like she'd been sleeping for a hundred years. Her body was stiff and her muscles ached from staying in that cramped position for such a long time. She felt the cold and the hardness of his body before she even opened her eyes.
He was still there. A smile crept onto her face. He was still there. Edward. Her solace. And looking at his smiling face now made her confident to pretend like he was real. Yes this was what she was going to do.
She had finally woken up and this time she was smiling. He couldn't help returning the smile, relief rushing through him. The scare was over. Maybe she didn't even remember the episode. However, no need to remind her right now.
"Well good morning sleepy head." He smiled.
"Morning." She answered in a singsongy voice, snuggling up in his lap.
Well that was quite confusing. Yesterday they'd been awkwardly perched on the couch and he hadn't been sure if she could ever forgive or trust him again and now she was cuddling up like it was the most natural thing in the world.
He caught Alice's confused stare and simply shrugged. He was certainly not gonna complain about that turn of events. However, his train of thought was interrupted by the rumbling of her stomach.
Bella felt the heat rise in her cheeks as her stomach loudly announced his needs and she watched Edwards features morph into that favourite crooked grin of his. "I think we should really get you something to eat." He chuckled.
Strange thing this afterlife. Apparently you still needed to eat and sleep and as far as she could tell, you basically still felt exactly like when you were alive. She pondered this as she slid off the bed careful to keep a hold on Edwards hand.
That's when she saw Alice standing beside the bed and she was bursting with joy. Not only Edward was here but Alice too.
She barely noted Alice's funny expression as she flung herself at the little pixie, dragging Edward behind her. She made a mental note not to do that again, because Alice was hard. It felt like jumping at a brick wall. But right now she was too happy to care about minor inconveniences like bruises. Besides this made it all the more realistic and therefore easier to pretend that they were indeed real.
"Hey Bella. Missed you too." Alice patted Bella's back throwing Edward another worried glance. As much as Alice liked her to be all perky, something was clearly not right. This was not the Bella that spend the last four days with them. This wasn't even the Bella that they knew back in Forks. Edward simply nodded in agreement.
Bella detangled herself from Alice grabbing her hand in her free one and heading for the door. If the others were here too she was gonna need more arms to hold them all to herself. She mused.
Esme was just setting a plate down on the Living room table as they reached the bottom of the stairs. "Thank you Esme. I love you." Bella chirped as they said down on the couch. Esme was a little taken by surprise but recovered before Bella could notice. "I love you two, dear."
Bella's eyes wandered from the deliciously looking pancakes on the plate before her to the hands she was gripping tightly in her lap and back. How was she gonna eat them without letting go of Edward and Alice? She pondered.
Her train of thought was interrupted by Esme's voice. "What's wrong dear? Do you want something else?" Esme asked. Bella's head snapped up abruptly. "No." she frantically shook her head. Now she had probably offended Esme. "No this is great. Really. It looks delicious. It's just " she trailed off staring at the hands again while tears of frustration welled up in her eyes.
"What is it?" Edward whispered deeply concerned while brushing her hair out of her face. Bella bit her lip shifting nervously.
"Come on. Spit it out. We won't bite." Alice winked. So Bella timedly peaked up from under her lashes.
"You you will still be here when I let you go?" She glanced at the hand she had tightly clutched around Alice's.
Alice followed her eyes cocking her head in confusion. "Of course I will. Where would I go?" Bella didn't answer as she slowly loosened her grip on Alice's tiny pale white hand. All three pairs of eyes watching her with great concern. She's very anxious now. Her emotions are pretty unstable. Jasper informed Edward through his thoughts.
Bella ate the pancakes as fast as she possibly could stealing glances in Alice's direction while she grabed Edwards hand even more tightly. She reached out for Alice as soon as she had shoved the last bite into her mouth. Only then could she relax again.
"Soo" Alice announced. "Maybe we should get you dressed now, huh?" She nudged Bella before standing up waiting for her to follow.
Bella's eyes widened with panic. Getting dressed? This would inevitably mean letting go of Edward. She couldn't do that. It was hard enough to let go of Alice. But Edward? And out of her sight too. "No." She shook her head stubbornly. This was not going to happen.
"No?" Alice asked perplexed.
"No." Bella repeated hugging herself to Edward.
I think we've got a major problem. Alice communicated with Edward in her thoughts. What are we going to do? Carlisle? Edward nodded. Then he put his hand under Bella's chin to make her look up at him. "You go with Alice while I discuss something with Carlisle. We'll meet here as soon as you're ready. All right?" She stubbornly shook her head again. "No."
He sighed. "Why not? I'm not going anywhere." He assured her. "That's right." Alice nodded smiling encouragingly. But Bella wouldn't butch.
That's when Carlisle spoke up descending the stairs with Jasper by his side. "It might help to tell them what you are afraid of. Can you do that? What will happen when you let go of them?"
Alice sat down again while Carlisle took a seat in the armchair. Five pairs of golden eyes looked at Bella expectantly. Waiting for her to speak. She bit her lip. "Great now we're having an afterlife therapy session. How ridiculous is that?" She mumbled under her breath.
"Afterlife?" Edward asked looking utterly confused. But Carlisle held up his hand to stop him. "What do you mean 'afterlife'?". Carlisle asked for clarification.
Bella sighed ennerved. "Look I'm new at this. I just got here. I don't know how this works. Maybe you'll be gone if I let you out of my sight. This Illusion is all I have now and I don't know how like well stable it is. So Im not gonna take any chances. Plus why do I even still need to go get dressed? Can't I just snap my fingers or something?" They let her ramble on, taking in all the information she provided.
"So I take it that you think you're dead." Carlisle summed up. He was in doctor mode. "Why do you think that?"
"Because I died, obviously." Bella stated matter-of-factly.
Carlisle smiled patiently. "Yeah what I mean is can you tell me how think you died? What do you remember?" He rephrased.
"I froze to death in a snowstorm. Because my got stuck in the middle of nowhere." Bella stated impatience coloring her words. Why did they have to have to do this now. This interrogation was making her uncomfortable.
Carlisle nodded taking this in. "But I found you. And I brought you here. You've been staying with us for a couple of days now." He reminded her.
Bella shook her head. "No. That was a just a hallucination. My mind played me. And I'm not gonna be fooled again." She was getting really irritated. Was her own mind turning against her now? Trying to lure her back into this illusion or whatever this was?
"Bella you were having a nightmare last night. And I think you're sense of reality got a little confused. So is there anything you remember that did feel say kind of surreal? Locations you didn't know how you got to? Anything?"
"I already told you this was all a hallucination as is this." She gestured around. "So discussing it is just totally ridiculous." She squirmed.
"All right." Carlisle sighed. This was harder than he had thought. "But if this is all just your mind giving you what you want " He glanced at the hands she was still clutching tightly in her lap. " why do you still cling to Alice and Edward? If this was all in your head they couldn't go anywhere right?" He reasoned.
She bid her Lip again. He had a point there. But she couldn't be sure. "I don't want to take my chances."
"Why not?" He pressed.
Bella shifted uncomfortably. Why did he make her say this when she really didn't wanna think about it. "It's bad enough to know that we can never live in the same world again, because the real Edward and Alice all of you will never die. So the risk of loosing the illusions too " She trailed of her face contorted in pain.
Edward was shocked. He had never thought about it this way. What if she had a point. What his refusal to damn her to the same existence as his would ultimately damn her soul to suffer in whatever existence it would lead after her death? Apparently he had underestimated her feelings for him. The way she said this now seemed like she was feeling exactly like he was.
God what had he done to her? Not only had he left her in danger, destroyed her life and ultimately driven her away from her family and friends to be forced to take care of her own. Take care of her own and being forced to sell her body. But he had also left her in pain. Seemingly the same pain he had been in. How could she ever forgive him? How could she not hate him? How could she even look at him?
He was snapped out of his self loathing thoughts by Alice slapping his head. He met her eyes as she was glaring at him. Don't you dare. This time you're gonna listen to me. She chided him.
A/N: Ok so this is it for this chapter. I hope you're not too confused now. ;)
And she is about to come back to reality. This breakdown was just majorly overdue with all the repressing emotions and stuff.