Higher Ground
The High Life
Hey everyone! Thanks to all my reviewers. It's been a while since I've updated. I wanted to get a start on my new story, Painted Black. I couldn't wait any longer and I missed all the original Cliffhangers so I decided to write a fic about them. Anyway, on with the story.
Chapter 12…Truth Hurts
It had been a long week since Charlie and Cristina had returned to Horizon. They had both been on shuns and today was the first day in a week that they were allowed to talk to their class mates. Not being able to say anything was especially hard on Cristina. She had wanted to tell all the Cliffhangers about their adventures in California. Charlie, on the other hand had used this time alone, to do the one thing she didn't want to do. Think. She had thought about everything from her years on the street, to her time at Horizon and then she just thought about one person. Damien was so hurt by what she had done. She even thought about telling him the truth, but she knew he could never understand. As she pushed the door to her dorm open and looked around, she saw that nothing had changed. Her bed was still exactly the same as the day she had left it almost two weeks ago, the walls were the same murky green colour, even her toothbrush in the bathroom still sat in the same rack. But with all these normality's, she still felt so different. Just as she sat on her bed, there was a knock on the door. She walked over and opened it to see Damien.
"Hi", he said awkwardly.
"Hey", she replied.
"Yeah, look…um, I know you weren't at group this morning but, Peter wanted me to tell you about an assignment we have to do.
"Oh, ok", Charlie was a little curious as to why he felt he had to come around to her dorm instead of just telling her at lunch in 20 minutes.
"Yeah, see it's a questionnaire type thing, we have to do it in pairs", Damien explained.
"Let me guess", Charlie said, "Peter wants us to work together".
"Yeah", Damien said. "That's not a problem is it?"
"No, of course not", Charlie answered quickly. "Its not a problem for you is it?"
"Um, no, not at all", he told her unassuringly.
"Good", she forced a small smile on her face.
"Well, um, I should go then", he told her, "I'll see you at lunch".
Back in the boy's dorm room, Ryder was giving the guys a hard time, as usual.
"So, you ready to let everyone know all those gory little details about your life, that you've all been working so hard to keep."
"You know, one day that face of yours is going to be introduced to a fist, and I'm gonna be there watching", Binna commented.
"I really don't know what your problem is mate. Honestly, I'm worried about all of you. Your like a bunch of women with PMS", Ryder retorted.
The others chose to ignore Ryder after that. What was the point in trying? Ryder was never going to change.
"Hey Frenchy, why so quiet?" Patrick noticed Damien slouched over his bed not paying much attention to anything that was going on around him.
"huh?"
"Poor Romeo's having trouble with his Juliet. Come on young lad, talk it out, Ryder's here to help", Ryder teased in a patronizing way.
"Shut up Ryder", Damien snapped.
"You never know, this assignment might do the both of you a world of good. Might even help you", Patrick said, his thick Irish accent coming through in his speech.
"Help you kill each other maybe", Ryder mumbled.
It had already been a grueling day of questioning for most of the Cliffhangers. All except for two. Charlie hadn't turned up to her lesson and therefore left Damien to get on with other work. Annoyed and relieved at the same time Damien went to Charlie's dorm after the lesson. He'd been dreading doing this particular assignment with her but he needed this grade. When he got to her dorm, before he could even knock the door opened.
"Off somewhere?" he said annoyed.
"I need to see Peter", Charlie told him trying to get passed.
"Why didn't you come to class, you seem fine", he asked.
"Why do you care?" she asked curiously.
"Don't answer a question with a question", he said.
"Don't try to dodge a question", she bit back.
"Your one to talk, why didn't you come to class", he asked again.
"Well, gee Damien, maybe I thought you'd be relieved if I didn't show. You don't want to do this with me anymore than I want to do it with you so I figured I'd make it easier on you".
"Yeah, well, I need the grade", he said.
"So how about I do my questionnaire and you do yours…"
"Because Miss Christensen, that wouldn't be very fair would it", a voice came from behind Damien. It was Peter. "Sorry, did I interrupt? Well, now that I did, you can both start your questionnaires right now in my office".
"What? Peter that's not fair, I'm not the one who dodged class", Damien protested.
"I'll lead the way, shall I", Peter said.
"You know, this is your fault", Damien said as him and Charlie sat in Peter's office while he kept a watchful eye on them from inside the reception.
"What, you have a degree in stating the obvious", Charlie looked up at him. As she did he noticed that he didn't even recognize her anymore. Or he did, but what he recognized was the fake Charlie that he had come to know when she had first arrived. Definitely not the Charlie he had fallen for.
"Name?" he asked, reading from the sheet of paper.
She rolled her eyes, as she scoffed sarcastically. "Pippins McGee and yours?"
"Can you please just be serious", he said.
"Pippins McGee is very serious", Charlie joked. Damien decided to move on.
"Favorite band?"
"Oh The Partridge Family. Their version of I Think I Love You is the first and the best don't you think".
"I know that your favorite band is the Killer's, Charlie", Damien said.
"Oh, but see I'm not Charlie, I'm Pippins McGee".
"Alright, if your not going to be serious, I'm damned if I'm going to sit here in my lunch break and listen to you", he got up just as Peter came in.
"Going somewhere, Damien?"
"Peter, I'm not gonna sit here while she tells me her name is Pippins McGee and that her favorite band is The Partridge Family", Damien told him.
"Charlie, you're going to have to be serious while doing this", Peter explained.
"Good, well since I'm not doing this, I don't have to be serious huh? Everybody wins", she walks out leaving Damien and Peter at a loss. But Peter wasn't ready to give up. When he went after her he finally found her on a bench by the soccer field.
"Charlie", Peter said.
"Peter", Charlie acknowledged him.
"Look, I'm only gonna say this once. I know that you've been going through something, and you know I'm always here if you need me, but this isn't the way to go about it", he told her. She looked him up and down before turning her head back to the field.
"Charlie we're all worried about you here, we're not trying to patronize you or be your best friend, we just want to help you".
"Yeah well, Peter as you can see I'm a little beyond help", Charlie bit back.
"Do you want to fail here? Huh? Do you wanna go back to the streets?" he waited for a response but got nothing. "Well I don't think you do, but you know I can't help you if you don't want to help yourself". With that he walked away hoping that he'd struck a chord with her.
"I can't believe Peter is making me do this questionnaire thing with Ryder. RYDER! Again!" Mac spoke about her obvious resentment towards Peter as the girls rested on their beds.
"Another 24 hours and you wont have to put up with any of us ever again", Kat pointed out.
"It sucks that you're leaving tomorrow", Shane sighed.
"Guys, we've been through this already, let's not do it again", Mac saw that the others were about to get sentimental again.
"I'm just saying we're gonna miss you", Shane explained.
"Yeah, like I didn't get that the first fifty times", Mac laughed.
"Well, I have to go see EZ about this questionnaire", Kat jumped up from her bed.
"Hey, wanna swap partners", Mac asked hopefully, even though she knew Kat's answer.
"No way", Kat said as she shut the door behind her. Mac lay back down on her bed sulkily.
"I sware I'm gonna kill him after this. You know what his favorite movie is?" Mac asked Shane. "Take a guess".
"Taxi Driver, all guys love Taxi Driver", Shane insisted.
"Dare Devil", Mac told her.
"Dare Devil? You mean nylon wearing, Ben Affleck Dare Devil?"
"Yup", Mac said simply.
"Huh", Shane trying hard not to laugh. "So, you paid him out about it right?"
"Oh yeah", Mac laughed.
The conversation was much less the same in the boy's dorm room as the guys told each other all the dirt on their partners.
"You know what she told me when I asked her the question, When was the last time you cried", Binna said speaking of Cristina.
"Ooh Ooh when she tried on her skirt and found that she was now a size 10", Patrick guessed as the others laughed.
"You know it's sad but your close", Binna said as they heard a knock on the door. As Damien got up and answered it, Binna continued. Damien was surprised at who he saw. Before she gave him a chance she was talking.
"Hey, my names Charlotte Andrea Christensen, I'm 17 years old from California, my hobbies include music sports and reading, my favorite band is in fact the Killers, favorite movie is Grease, the best thing to ever happen to me is coming to Horizon, the worst thing that could ever happen to me right now, would be is if I were to get kicked out for being an arrogant ass", Charlie finally stopped for a breath. As she waited for a response she noticed Damien just stared at her. He either didn't know what to do next or as just letting her stew. "Alright look, truth is I need this grade probably just as much as you so lets just try and get it over with". Again Damien just stared at her.
"Guys, I'll be back later, I'm going to the mess hall", he grabbed his jacket and headed out with Charlie.
Ezra and Kat were way into their questions as they sat on the grassy field.
"How many questions do we have left", Kat asked.
"Uh, 2 pages", Ezra flipped over the pages for his answer.
"Well, there not gonna do themselves I guess", Kat figured.
"What are you going to do with your life once you graduate from Horizon"; Ezra asked reading from the paper.
Kat thought a minute before answering. "You know what? I think this is what I wanna do".
"Questionnaires", Ezra was confused.
"No, I mean this, counseling, helping people find themselves", Kat explained.
"You know I can see you as a councilor", Ezra told her.
"Ok, what about you", Kat asked.
Ezra sighed. "Uh, philosiphist, historian, scientist, I could make a good accountant".
"I'll see you when I need my taxes done", Kat laughed.
"What? Not me?"
"Definitely not you, you've got way too much of and imagination to be stuck behind a desk telling people about there financial screw ups", Kat said still laughing.
"I'll take that as a compliment, thank you", Ezra smiled.
"Welcome".
In the mess hall, there was a lot of talking going on as usual. In the corner sat Damien and Charlie.
"Ok, question number 9. When you were 5, what did you wanna be when you grew up", Charlie asked.
"Fireman, Policeman, if all else failed a pro sportsman".
"Just pro sportsman, nothing specific?" Charlie asked.
"I was 5, I wasn't choosy", Damien pointed out.
"I always wanted to be a pro football player. I got paid out so much in my county but I didn't care. They didn't even have a girls team", Charlie told him.
"Not surprising there", Damien said, "Well you must have done something about it, you're too good to have never played for a team".
"My mom", she began, "she petitioned to let me join the guys team. Then when they didn't go for it she threatened to expose the coach".
"Expose the coach?" Damien asked confused.
"He was hooking up with the umpire", she told him simply.
"What, was he married or something?" he still wasn't getting the point.
"Oh no, no he wasn't married", she said secretively.
"Well, what then?"
"Well, how many female football umpires do you see?" she said as he finally realized what she was saying.
"Jesus, you mean he was gay", Damien smiled at the thought.
Charlie smiled. "Woulda been the scandal of the year. My mom was almost disappointed when he let me on the team".
At the gazebo, Binna was getting frustrated with Cristina. He thought he knew what he was in for; working with her but this hadn't even come close. They had been there for an hour and had only done one page. This was no surprise to Binna, considering Cristina's constant complaining.
"Ugh, my face is so gross", she said as she used her hands to hold back her hair. "Cant we go inside, its so windy out here, its doing nothing for my hair".
"Focus please", Binna said almost like a robot, "I know there's nothing between your eyes except a whole lot of air, but I kinda got things to do and I don't want to be out here forever either".
"I need cleanser, my face is so pasty right now", she continued not taking anything from Binna's comments. "Its ok for you, you don't care what kind of creatures are living on your face". To Cristina surprise Binna reached down and picked some dirt of the ground, before smudging into her face.
"Ugh, what did you do that for", she brushed of the dirt.
"Its ok, dirt's good for your skin, I read it in last months Cosmo", Binna joked.
Mac was alone in her dorm when there was a knock on the door. She had been expecting Ryder for over half an hour but she was still pretty happy when he hadn't turned up on time. She figured that was less time that she would have to cringe.
"Well, this is rather cozy isn't it", Ryder opened the door before Mac got up from her bed. "I thought we were going to the mess hall like before, but no, this is much better, more intimate. What better place to get to know each other but in ones own bedroom".
"Yeah", she said with disgust, "Lets just get this over with, shall we".
"Ok, what are you afraid of right now", Ryder asked reading from the page.
"Right now? I'm afraid you might try a move on me again. I guess after last time, I'm a little paranoid", she said sarcastically.
"For someone who wants to get this over with, the jokes are flying out", Ryder smiled.
"I wasn't joking".
"Mackenzie, Mackenzie, Mackenzie", Ryder chuckled as he paced around the room. "You know I can read you like a book".
"What are you talking about", she asked exhaustedly.
"What are you really afraid of?"
"Oh, you think you know? Well why don't you tell me Ryder".
"In less than 24 hours you are going to be on your way back to Winnipeg and you're terrified", he explained tauntingly.
"Believe it or not, most kids here are waiting for the day when they get to go home, and guess what? My day has come. I couldn't be happier", she told him.
"Suit yourself, but we all know the truth".
Patrick and Shane were the last pair to start their questionnaires.
"What is the most beneficial thing to have ever happened to you", Shane asked.
"Coming to Horizon", Patrick answered short and sweet. Both his and Shane's idea of getting this over with was answering the questions with barely more than a sentence.
"Ok, when was the last time you told somebody your inner most feelings?"
"Last night when Ryder was being an ass", Patrick said.
"Yeah I think they want your answer to maybe have a little more depth", Shane laughed.
"Oh you want depth?" Ok next time I'll flatten him so bad that he'll be 6 feet under. Is that enough depth?"
Mac and Ryder were having a much-needed break. As Ryder watched football on TV, Mac was deep in her own thoughts.
"You know what I miss? Arsenal and Man United battling it out on the field", Ryder rambled, "I've gotta tell you, you havnt seen a real game of football till you've seen them play".
Mac wasn't paying any attention to Ryder. She was thinking about going home.
"Mackenzie, hello, are you home?" Ryder clicked his fingers in front of her face trying to get attention.
"What?" she yelled angrily.
"Calm down, jeez", Ryder told her. "Oh I know what this is about. "You're thinking about that question before, the one about what your afraid of".
"Actually I'm thinking about how great it's going to be when I see the back of you", Mac said menacingly.
"Ah, still in denial are we?"
"Leave me alone Ryder", Mac got off of her bed and walked out.
"You know I don't get you", Cristina told Binna as he wrote on his piece of paper. "You seem normal, not like the other kids here".
"A lot of people say the same about you", Binna replied exhaustedly.
"So, what was it? Depression, family issues, mom pushing you too hard?"
"It was drugs ok", he answered not telling her the whole truth.
"Come on, everybody here did drugs, but they all had other issues too," Cristina said.
"Yeah well, welcome to the new breed of delinquents", he said blandly.
"I'll tell you about me if you tell me about you", she offered.
"No".
"Why not?"
"Because I already know about you. You told everyone like the first day you got here like it was nothing to you", he told her.
"Well there you go, you owe it to me", she said.
"I can't help it if you've got a big mouth", he said. She decided to wait a minute or two before she continued to bate him. "How is it so easy for you to admit that your screwed?"
She thought about her answer seriously. "Nobody's perfect. Not even my mother. Its all fake", she told him before he slouched back on the gazebo seat.
The Cliffhangers had been hard at work for a few hours and it was now nighttime.
"Its pitch black out here", Kat looked up at the dark sky that was lit up by a series of bright stars. "Moon reveals yourself".
"I don't think it can hear you", Ezra joked.
"Maybe we should go inside", Kat suggested.
"Hey, you ever wonder what you'd be like if there was no Horizon?" Ezra asked as she was cleaning all there papers up.
"Yeah, sure all the time", Kat said simply.
"Where would you be?"
Kat thought about it for a minute before answering. "At my friends house, sleeping on the floor, getting high, just counting down the days until somebody noticed. What about you?"
"I was asking you", Ezra teased.
"No you weren't. You were asking me to ask you", Kat said wisely as he smiled at how well she knew him. "So, where would you be?"
He hesitated to tell her even though he knew his answer. "Dead", he said simply after taking his time. She looked up at him sadly.
"EZ", she said softly, embracing him.
"Ok, what are 3 things you want to get out of Horizon High", Shane was still asking the questions first.
"I want to stay clean, I want to get a cushy job so I can earn enough money to take my mam back to Dublin, and I guess I want her to be proud of me", Patrick answered seriously for the first time today.
"Your moms proud of you, Pat", Shane tried to reassure him.
"Last time I saw her she was terrified of me. Look when my da left I gave her hell, I blamed her for him walking out. Then I did some stuff that I'm not proud of, and I juts, I just think if I get a good job and take her back home, she might find a way to forgive me", Pat thick Irish accent came out.
"Money and a cushy job cant buy happiness, Pat", Shane told him, "And as for your mom forgiving you, I'm sure she already has".
It was getting late by this time and the mess hall had quietened down substantially since Damien and Charlie had arrived.
"Ok, uh, when did you realize you needed help", Damien asked Charlie.
She thought about it for a minute. "I never did. I mean, not until I got here. It was you, actually", she explained, as he looked up interested. "I'd just got out of the infirmary, after you found out I'd been cutting. And you gave me that pep talk about how everything always works out, It was from a TV show but it still helped. You just, you made me think that, you know I could beat this, I could if I tried. I needed to try".
"What about the night after? Why'd you take those pills", he asked questioningly.
She hesitated. "I can't tell you that".
"Why not"
"Because I just cant", she said defensively.
"Tell me", he urged.
She looked at him before shrugging. "No".
"So then tell me this, who was the guy?"
"Why are you doing this, why are you bringing this up now", she asked him sadly.
"I need to know, ok. I don't know why, I just do".
"Its just a name", she told him.
"So then tell me".
"Did it ever occur to you that maybe I don't wanna talk about it, you know maybe it hurts me too", Charlie said aggravated.
"Well it couldn't have hurt that much otherwise you wouldn't have done it", he said icily. She was clearly hurt as she got up. "I'm going to bed, excuse me".
"No, not until you tell me the truth", he blocked her way.
"Is this some kind of male pride thing? You gonna go hunt him down, see if his prettier than you", she said blandly.
"Don't flatter yourself", he told her. Did I know this guy, is that why you wont tell me?"
"He's name was Brian Atwell, ok. You didn't know him", she finally gave in and told him. But she knew this wouldn't be the last of this conversation.
"That's the guy that got taken to juvie", he pointed out.
"Yeah what can I say, juvie's hot man", she said in a tone similar to Cristina's.
"What a skank", he scoffed.
"Don't call me that", she bit back quickly, "You don't know me, and you know nothing."
"So tell me, how can I begin to know anything about you when you wont talk to me", he asked clearly annoyed.
"Why should tell you anything", she stood up from the couch, yelling. "The first thing you don't wanna hear, you throw it back in my face. I'm screwed up ok. I've told you this time and time again, and that's why you could never really know me because weather you realize it or not, you don't really want to", she said almost scared she'd said too much. She was so annoyed and worked up that she didn't care anymore. The two now had an audience including Pat, Shane, Kat, Ezra, Binna and Cristina.
"Yes I do. I want to understand I want to know why you did this", he yelled.
"And I've already told you, he was there, it happened, end of story".
"No that's not end of story", he interrupted her yelling over the top.
"Just go away", she pushed him frustratedly. Any minute she knew she was going to crumble and let everything out. She was already trying hard to fight the tears.
"No, I'm not just gonna go away", he fought back not realizing her sudden rage.
"Go, I don't want to talk about this with you", she started to cry. "I hate you, I hate you". Damien was shocked as she jumped up from the couch hysterically. "I hate you".
"Charlie…" he didn't know what to say or do. He was at a loss. She ran out of the mess hall, him following her. Kat and Ezra heard them yelling from the gazebo. Then they saw the crowd that had formed behind Charlie and Damien. Damien grabbed on to her shoulder.
"Please just go, please", she was pleading with him. She knew she'd said to much and she didn't want to say anymore. As he pulled her in trying to restrain her from walking any further she started hitting him. "Get away from me, go", she said shaking. He had his arms around her, almost like a bare hug to try to stop her from hitting him in the chest. But she wouldn't stop. She kept punching him and punching him. He was worried about her. "Please let me go, please, go away", she continued punching him until he grabbed hold of her wrists. She struggled to hit him but she still managed weakly.
"Charlie, stop", he told her as he pulled her in to him in order for her to stop but she kept going, hitting him, although getting weaker every time. He put his arms around her as she slowed down on the punching. Crying forcefully she fell to the ground taking him with her.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm messed up", she repeated.
"Charlie, what…?"
"I'm sorry, he made me, he made me, I'm so sorry", she continued saying it over and over. He looked at her understanding before wrapping his arms back around her. He held her rocking her back and forward, just sitting on the grass, while the audience watched with pity.
"Its ok, Its ok", he said calming her down.
Later at the gazebo Mac was sitting alone when Ryder approached.
"Your still up", he commented. "I would have thought you'd be in bed ready to go tomorrow".
"Go away Ryder", she told him not even looking in his direction.
"Are you crying", he said as he heard something strange in her voice.
"No"
"You are crying. Look if its about what I said before, don't listen to me alright, I a shit stirrer, you know that", he said.
"I have never listened to you, Ryder, not once, but what you said before got me thinking. And its true. I'm terrified of leaving tomorrow."
Ryder sat down beside her to comfort her. "Ok don't tell anyone I said this but, I think your gonna be alright".
"Are you trying to be nice to me", she asked confused.
"Me? Wouldn't dream of it, I've got a reputation to keep up you know", he joked sarcastically.
"Yeah didn't think so", she smiled.
Kat and Ezra were in the mess hall, discussing that of today's events.
"I just can't believe it. I mean everybody thought nothing of that whole thing with Charlie and the guy from the docks. We all just thought she must not have cared for Damien enough", Kat said.
"I know", Ezra agreed. "I feel kind of bad". He hadn't really been paying much attention to this. He had other things on his mind.
"Something up, Ezra", Kat noticed.
"No, I'm just thinking", he replied still in another world. "Peter found my birthparents".
"Wow, that's great", Kat expresses her obvious happiness for Ezra.
"Yeah, I don't know if I really want to meet them, I mean they gave me up for a reason", he explained.
"You wanna know what I think? I think that they could be the worst people in the world, or they could be the nicest. If you don't go and find out, you're always going to wonder".
Damien and Charlie had been sitting at the gazebo for a while now. Not saying much. Just thinking about everything.
"Do you ever wonder what it would be like to be normal", Charlie asked suddenly.
"I think I've been to busy trying so hard to be normal to realize I'm not", Damien replied.
"I always wanted to be normal, like everybody else. You know, have parents who care about you, maybe a dog, brother or sister. But simple, you know?"
"Everybody always thought that my family was normal. I think even my dad. But then he was blind to what was going on around him", Damien said.
"When I first met you I thought you would have had the perfect family", Charlie smiled.
"Yeah well, guess not", he said. They sat in silence for another few minutes before Charlie got up.
"I guess I should go to bed", she said.
"Hey", Damien said before she walked off.
"Mmm-hmm".
"The B, on your ankle. Brian?"
She looked at him remembering. "Yep", she said simply before walking off.
Thanx