Chapter 26: Under Deep and Words of Hate

Warning: there is mention of abuse by a father figure, and sexual abuse at that. Rasha was a nasty piece of work. Serana also tries not to remember things about Molag Bal, who is his own warning.

Sithia staggered. The arrow quivered in her shoulder. She swayed, right on the edge of the walkway. Serana caught Sithia just in time and pulled her back to relative safety. She answered the arrow with Ice Spikes, killing the pair of Falmer before another arrow could be loosed.

Sithia grunted. She gripped the arrow shaft and broke it; clearly she meant to move with it in her.

Serana reached for what was left of the shaft. She could get it out. Surely that would be better. Perhaps she should ask first, though. She lifted her gaze to find Sithia's eyes incapable of meeting her own, glazed with pain, her face contorting with… fury?

"Sithia—"

Serana gasped. Partly in shock. Partly in pain.

Her side.

Sithia's dagger buried in her side.

"You won't touch me again, Rasha," Sithia hissed. "I'm not your whore." Her eyes were bright. Raging. Still unfocused. She yanked her dagger out.

Serana bit back an agonised scream. She collapsed onto her hands and knees. The pain ebbed away. She touched her side with trembling fingers and felt skin, the wound already healed. All that remained besides the telltale damage to her cuirass and tunic was blood, and melted ice dealt with that.

She looked up. Sithia was nowhere in sight. She hadn't tried to stab Serana again. She hadn't Shouted at her. Either could have killed her, even with the blessing of the night active this far from the sun, deep under ice and stone.

Serana pushed herself up onto her feet. She had to find Sithia. Her Dragonborn wasn't herself. She'd never attack Serana. Not in her right mind. That arrow must have been poisoned. With what? A frenzy poison? She shook her head. It didn't matter right now. She also pushed Sithia's words aside. They made her wonder, of course, but now wasn't the time. Any answers from Sithia would have to wait.

First she had to find her again. Then she had to get that arrow out of her, so she could heal and for it to stop poisoning her. Serana resigned herself to the hunt; she had to breathe again to track Sithia's scent. Some spilled dragon blood made it easier, even with the stench of Falmer.

Serana took a potion of blood from her pocket and had a sip, just to be sure she'd healed completely. Then she started running after Sithia's trail. It didn't take long before she could hear Sithia's voice, making far more noise than was wise. Sithia must be seeing things; she was ranting at foes who weren't there, some long dead, some not so much.

There were a lot of slaughtered Falmer where Sithia had been. Some of their weapons had Sithia's blood on them… and worse, glistened with what must be more poison too. Damn it. That could only exacerbate Sithia's hallucinations.

Serana remembered little of Alftand after that, consumed with the chase after her crazed Dragonborn. All that stood out were flames streaming out of pipes overhead and to the side. Serana had to time her sprint carefully to avoid them.

She finally caught up with Sithia pinned under a Falmer trap, claws of chitin holding her to the floor. Fortunately none of them had impaled her, and she was well enough to be struggling to escape.

Serana took the opportunity to pull the arrow out of her. She winced at the cruel prongs of chitin exposed at the tip of the arrow. She carefully inspected it for any bits broken off. It seemed to be intact. Under the trap, Sithia healed herself. Her continued ravings made it clear that healing magic hadn't dealt with the poison. It would take time to run its course. Unless Sithia had any potions to deal with it?

Serana searched Sithia's pack. No such luck. The only potions to do with poison were to be used before it was inflicted; resistance, not cures. Damn it. If only Sithia had taken one! Maybe she'd forgotten they were there. Not that a resistance potion was any guarantee against strong poison.

Maybe Serana could snap her out of it? Kissing didn't work, and earned her a bite for her trouble. Fortunately only minor, soon healed, but tasting Serana's blood only made Sithia's frenzy worse. Slapping her didn't work and made Serana feel terrible. As for feeding… The poison in Sithia's blood was very off-putting. She didn't expect enthralling to work. It didn't, only giving both of them a headache on top of their other problems.

Finally she resorted to knocking Sithia out, muttering an apology. Sithia slumped, her struggles over for now. Hopefully the poison would release her by the time she woke up. Serana pulled the trap apart, picked her up and carried her, doing her best to sneak around any Falmer. They had strange overgrown insect pets too; maybe those were what the eggs were from?

She passed what she thought were two identical not-bronze Dwemer statues, twice her height, when one of them came alive. It hissed steam and swung arms ending in a great hammer and axe; definitely hostile. Serana set Sithia down and drew Dragonbane. It could cut dragon bone, surely it could cut through the not-bronze too? To Serana's horror, it glanced off the armour plating, although it did chip it and didn't notch the sword. Serana put the sword down and switched to her spells. None of them penetrated it either, and even her shock spells didn't do anything but arc across the dusty armour.

Serana dodged the hammer and then the axe. She dared to dart closer and scrambled up it. She ripped the head off. It kept going, stamping closer to Sithia's prone form. She reached inside and tore out a glowing red sphere. Finally it fell over, toppling backwards, and she rolled to her feet. She tossed aside the sphere.

She collected Dragonbane and returned it to its scabbard, then picked up Sithia again. Serana walked up a ramp and opened a gate, stepping inside a room with four columns around a central platform with a raised not-bronze table.

Serana ducked behind a column; she could hear two heartbeats that weren't Falmer cadence. She peeked out and saw a female Redguard and a male Imperial, right by the Dwemer table.

The Redguard at least had some sense: "Sulla, let's just get out of here. Hasn't there been enough death?"

The same couldn't be said for the Imperial: "Oh, of course you want me to leave. Just waiting for me to turn my back. So you can have all the glory for yourself!"

They killed each other, sparing Serana the task. She didn't need to set Sithia down or try to fight while carrying her. No, instead she had to put Sithia down so she could inspect the table. On the side closest to the dead Redguard and Imperial was an indentation that looked a match for the Dwemer sphere Septimus had given them. She got the sphere out of her pocket and put it in. With a deep rumble like a minor earthquake, the platform floor fell away into a staircase leading down. Serana lunged to grab Sithia before she could fall, the floor dropping away underneath her.

Serana carried Sithia down the steps and through a not-bronze door and out into the great cavern of Blackreach. Not that she had much of an impression of it at first, focused as she was on finding somewhere safe for Sithia to recover. She carried her into the first building she found, a small Dwemer house. Inside was a long dead skeleton on the floor with arrows embedded through the ribs, a stone bed, and most importantly: a decent alchemy station with reagents.

Sithia stirred, thrashing and muttering. Damn it; she was still under the sway of the poison. Serana set Sithia down. She had to move fast, before Sithia could wake up properly. She grabbed Sithia's own rope and tied her to the bed. While Serana could render her unconscious again, she'd rather have Sithia awake. It'd be safer for her to swallow a potion that way, and she wouldn't have to wait for her reaction to it. Provided she could actually make that potion from the reagents here.

Serana hoped the shelves were enchanted to keep things fresh, like in her mother's laboratory. It was promising that she couldn't smell anything rotting, and that a Nirnroot still chimed away. Wait, was it red? How strange. Not that she had time to investigate it with Sithia now struggling to free herself.

Serana quickly inspected the reagents. Excellent, all of them were still fresh. And a good selection, at least for her purposes. Bittergreen petals and redwort flowers crushed up together made a reliable curative for poison. She could almost hear her mother telling her so. Both flowers had been in Valerica's garden despite no need for such a cure themselves as vampires; immunity to poison was one of the benefits. If only the arrow had hit her and not Sithia…

Serana took the resulting bottle over to the bed. Sithia's mask was already down from Serana's attempt to kiss her back to her senses. She pinched Sithia's nose closed, forcing her to open her mouth. Serana tipped the potion in and dropped the bottle, freeing both hands, one to hold Sithia's mouth shut and the other to massage her throat, forcing her to swallow.

Sithia fell limp. She groaned, her gaze finally lucid, eyes no longer crazed.

"Serana? What… What happened?"

"A poisoned arrow. And swords, if you can call them that." Serana laid a hand on Sithia's forehead. "You started seeing things that weren't there, mistook me for someone else, the Falmer too."

"Why am I tied down?" Sithia's voice was strained. "Bondage is not my thing! Let me up."

"I suspected as much." Serana drew her dagger and cut the ropes. "I'm sorry. I had to restrain you."

Sithia touched her wrists, golden light streaming from her hands as she healed the raw wounds left by her struggling. Serana winced at the sight of them. Not that knocking Sithia out again would have been any better when it came to her own guilt.

Sithia took her hand and squeezed. "You did what you had to. Don't apologise. I can't imagine those I hallucinated were friends."

"Most of them were enemies, judging by your ranting." Serana didn't want to tell her about the stabbing incident. Sithia hadn't been responsible for her actions. But she had to say something to justify tying her up.

Sithia's head snapped up, face stricken. "I didn't hurt you, did I?"

"No—" Serana doubled over. Her blood was boiling.

She distantly registered Sithia holding her close, keeping her from collapsing to the floor.

"You tried to lie to me, didn't you?" Sithia's voice sounded so far away. It echoed. Or had she asked the same thing again? Yes, she had, her voice urgent. "Serana, answer me! It might stop it if you tell me a truth."

The pain only stopped when Serana admitted it. "Yes." She shuddered, everything was too sensitive. Had her blood really boiled or had it only felt like it? The pain had been worse than anything, even being stabbed by her own beloved.

"Stupid vampire," Sithia muttered. Her arms tightened around her. "Void take me, I'm sorry."

"It's fine, I healed almost instantly. I'm hard to kill when out of sunlight."

"Good," Sithia murmured. She looked around. "Where are we?"

"Blackreach. Well, a little Dwemer building near the Alftand entrance. Fortunately whoever that was," Serana said, jerking a thumb at the nearby skeleton, "kept a good stock of alchemical ingredients so I could brew an antidote."

"…Did I say anything while out of my head?" Sithia rubbed the back of her neck, looking a little self conscious.

"You didn't shut up."

Sithia groaned.

"I didn't catch everything you were ranting - it attracted every Falmer within earshot - but…" Serana looked away.

Sithia sighed. "After what I put you through, I think I owe you some answers."

Serana returned her gaze to Sithia. "Rasha was the Khajiit that raised you."

Sithia tensed. Clearly she had some idea where this was going. "Yes."

"The closest thing you had to a father figure."

Sithia grimaced. "Yes."

"He didn't see you as a daughter."

A lone tear trickled down Sithia's cheek. "No, he didn't," she choked out between clenched teeth. She looked down at the floor, her cheeks burning.

Serana tenderly stroked the tear away and held her close. "I don't think any less of you," she said quietly. "He took advantage of you. He's the one that should have been ashamed."

"Yet I still loved him despite what he did."

Serana held her a bit tighter. "That makes what he did even worse."

"Maybe. I hated him for it, as much as I loved him. Pain has never been my thing."

"But when I feed from you…"

"That's more pleasure than pain. With him, it—" Sithia shuddered. "Some Khajiit are like cats down there. Barbed. Rasha was one of them."

Serana flinched. She knew all too well what that sort of pain was like, being torn apart by—

'No. Don't think about it.'

"Please tell me he at least waited for you to come of age." Serana's voice was strangled; she dreaded Sithia's answer.

"Rasha was many things, but even he didn't sink that low. Besides, he really wanted my mother. I had the misfortune to grow up to be her spitting image. He couldn't have her, so once I was old enough for the resemblance to be obvious…"

"He had you. Bastard," Serana hissed. If this Cat wasn't already dead, she'd hunt him down and kill him for doing that to her Sithia.

Sithia nodded. "Raising me the way he did, I saw it as my duty to serve him in whatever he wanted. Unfortunately that included… servicing him in that way."

"Did you ever confront him?" Serana had to wonder after Sithia stabbed her while seeing Rasha in her place.

"No. But I wanted to. Whoever killed him took that away from me. I wouldn't have killed him. I hope it wasn't a life threatening wound when I… When I hurt you."

"It wasn't." Certainly not out of the sun, but Sithia didn't need to know that. It seemed her blood oath agreed.

Sithia slumped against the bed in her relief. Serana adjusted her position so she was lying next to her, arms still wrapped around each other.

"He was the reason I didn't have a real relationship until Tiber," Sithia murmured.

"Rasha?"

Sithia nodded. "He ordered me to kill anyone else I was involved with. Unless I kept it casual and under his notice. Until he was dead and I was free. Even if I didn't want him to die."

"Your mother… Did she know about what Rasha did? Back before she forced you to kill her?" Serana asked.

Sithia's lips twisted. "She didn't care."

No wonder she hated her mother. Serana winced. "That he wanted you to come back to him when he sent you to your mother at the end… He must have cared about you."

Sithia snorted. "When I returned with the news of my mother's death, he showed just how much he didn't care. My expertise with restoration is largely thanks to him."

"Why didn't you leave, or at least fight back?" Serana was very careful to keep any note of accusation out of her voice. She was curious, not condemning.

"Because he was a manipulative bastard and much like a dog, I loved my master, no matter what he did to me."

Serana gave Sithia a comforting squeeze. "You make my family sound so much better."

"Yes, well, even devout worshippers of the King of Rape are apparently not as bad as the children of Sithis. Or at least you and your mother aren't."

Serana shook her head. "Back in the day my parents were."

"You weren't as devout as your mother thinks?"

"Oh, I joined in, make no mistake about that," Serana admitted. "I did worship him and respect his power, but no. I drew the line at killing innocents. That was wrong. There's no satisfaction in it either. Breaking a criminal was far better, for me at least."

"Your parents allowed that?"

"My mother did, and she had her ways of persuading my father to excuse me from their excesses. It meant that he valued my purity too highly, though, and he was far less tolerant of my perceived weakness after the ritual."

There was a moment of horrified silence from Sithia before she spoke. "Purity? You were a…"

"Virgin. Yes. It's why I was 'taken' first."

"I can't begin to imagine… Rasha was bad enough."

"Don't. That is best forgotten, so please don't bring it up again." Serana cleared her throat, casting around for anything else to focus on. "Our parents failed us." She interlaced their fingers. "Rasha, well… He doesn't deserve to be called a parent after what he did. Your mother too, for not caring. My parents… I don't have it that bad, at least my mother was trying to protect me, but—" She stumbled over her words. It made her feel awful to compare them. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't…"

Sithia squeezed her hand. "It's okay. We both have terrible luck with parents."

"Just you and me against the world now."

Sithia smiled. "Yeah."

That was the only good to come out of this. This brought them even closer. No wonder, if anyone could understand parental betrayal, it was each other.

Sithia cleared her throat a little awkwardly, but didn't look away. "Let's leave the past in the past, shall we? At least that part."

"Gladly. Let's find this Scroll and get out of here." Serana disentangled herself from Sithia and got up. She turned to offer Sithia a helping hand and pulled her up and briefly into her arms. They came together in a kiss, then parted when Sithia needed to catch her breath.

"Hang on, what's that?" Sithia wandered over to the strangely red Nirnroot. Of course she had to taste it. "Hmm. Much like a normal Nirnroot. It's just… crimson. And stronger, oof." She rinsed her mouth out, then put the crimson Nirnroot into her pack, together with some of the other reagents.

Serana eyed the hole in Sithia's armour where the arrow had been. There were a few gashes too, where Falmer swords had caught her. She reached out and stroked each patch of exposed skin. "I think you need to fix that before we leave."

"Likewise. Although as I did the damage, I should do the mending." Sithia sounded very sheepish as she pointed to Serana's side.

"It'll be faster if I do it while you stitch up your armour. Besides, it wasn't your fault. You didn't ask to be poisoned."

"I didn't. But you didn't ask to be stabbed either." Sithia leaned closer and examined the damage to Serana's cuirass. "Please tell me it wasn't as bad as this makes it look."

Serana sighed. How to answer that without lying… "It hurt, can we leave it at that? I'm fine now, and I don't blame you."

Sithia still looked troubled, but nodded. "All right. I'll get my sewing kit." She paused, examining the lengths of rope discarded on the floor. "This doesn't look anywhere near old enough to have come from here, unless it was preserved by enchantment."

"Um. That's because it's yours." Maybe she should have untied Sithia instead of cutting her free.

"Damn it, Serana." Sithia sighed and dropped the rope. Her gaze slipped to Serana's side, guilt flickering across her face. "Never mind. I'll replace it. Right, sewing kit…"

Armour and clothing mended, they headed outside the Dwarven house, if it could be called outside when they were deep underground. The immense cavern certainly gave a feeling like being outside, if a little claustrophobic in that there was no open air above, just rocky ceiling. At least that ceiling had glowing patches a bit like the constellations at night.

Serana took in the sights of Blackreach. It had a strange beauty. Sithia didn't shift impatiently beside her, instead doing much the same as Serana. But then she'd never seen this place before. Serana thought the mushrooms were amazing - glowing and giant, some of them taller than trees! Tendrils of massive fungi stretched from the roof high above, almost like roots. Fungal spores floated in the air; Sithia pulled up her mask to avoid breathing too many of them in. Serana didn't need to worry about them as long as she held her breath, and they probably couldn't harm her even if she breathed any in.

When they found water it was murky and greenish. Sithia was dubious about drinking from it, but considered it safe enough after boiling it. And she needed to; Blackreach was immense. It must have stretched as far if not further than a Hold above. It was hard to judge the distance; there were no days down here. Serana had a vague idea of when the sun was up far above, but couldn't be sure. Once she needed to sleep during the day again, it would be far more obvious. Sithia just judged days by her hunger and need for sleep.

Serana kept a careful watch while Sithia slept, alert for any Falmer creeping near. She also needed to wake Sithia from her nightmares before she made too much noise. They could really do without finding out the hard way how many Falmer infested Blackreach.

They found more red Nirnroot scattered around Blackreach, often near water but not always. Sithia collected what they found. They also ran into more Falmer. Serana spotted them in the gloom ahead and warned Sithia so she could take a poison resistance potion this time.

Sithia stared at her, eyes wide. "Void take me, I forgot… I am so sorry." She knew as well as Serana that if she'd taken one in Alftand, she might have avoided the poisoning incident… and stabbing Serana while frenzied. Provided the poison wasn't too strong.

"I already told you I don't blame you. Just take one now, and let's move on."

Sithia downed the potion. As it happened, her poison resistance wasn't put to the test; this time no poisoned weapons hit Sithia.

They met more of the Falmer's insect pets too, and this time Sithia named them as Chaurus, something she'd read about in a book; it wasn't as though the Falmer could have told her what they were called. The Falmer only hissed and gave guttural cries; they seemed to have lost their language.

They investigated what looked to be a Dwarven city within Blackreach, and Serana heard the heartbeats of more than just Falmer within it. Closer inspection revealed slaves of surface races, clad in ragged robes. Hostile slaves; they attacked at the sight of Sithia and Serana. Not that they had any great skill in arms, and Sithia soon provided a distraction. She impulsively Shouted at the city's light source, a great glowing orange ball, like an artificial sun. It didn't come crashing down, but a great clanging resounded from it, answered by, of all things, the roar of a dragon.

Sithia soon had her dragon soul after the dragon landed to devour some slaves he'd roasted. Serana had to wonder how a dragon had got into Blackreach. If only she'd had a chance to ask him before Sithia killed him. Not that she blamed Sithia, slaying dragons came naturally to her.

Other than that, their journey through Blackreach was uneventful, and they eventually reached what might be Tower Mzark: a thick pillar of carved Dwarven stone decorated with a not-bronze Dwemer statue head. They took a steam powered lift inside up into a great chamber, large by Dwarven standards but dwarfed by Blackreach. It was a dome of hexagonal roof tiles and a large Dwemer contraption overhead, made of a lot of not-bronze and green glass.

Atop a ramp overlooking the chamber were an array of buttons and a stand that looked like it might fit the lexicon cube thing from Septimus. Serana popped the cube in and the locks over the buttons released, exposing them for use.

"I'm not touching those." Sithia folded her arms and eyed the buttons suspiciously. She pulled her mask down. No fungal spores floated around in here.

Serana raised an eyebrow. "Really? You Shout at Dwemer artificial suns, summoning a dragon, but you won't poke these buttons?"

"I never want to press another button after what happened in Dimhollow."

"You regret freeing me?" Serana teased, mock hurt in her voice.

Sithia shook her head. "Hardly. I could have done without getting a hand impaled in the process, though. I think I may have developed an aversion to buttons, thanks to that."

"Well, one of us has to fiddle with these buttons if we want that Scroll."

"Be my guest." Sithia gestured at the buttons.

Serana backed away from the buttons. "Oh no, you owe me for the dragon."

"You didn't even get singed!"

Serana flinched at the memory of the dragon's flames. "That was a little too close. I should have told you not to do anything to that artificial sun, but how was I supposed to know you'd get it into your head to Shout at it?!"

"You're one to talk after I told you to stay away from that Dwemer automaton!"

Ah. One of the things Serana had blotted out of her memory of their sojourn through Blackreach. It was embarrassing. "How was I supposed to know that tapping it would wake it up?"

"If it's not in pieces, assume the worst."

Serana decided admitting her error was a step too far. She'd dealt with it just like the one while Sithia was unconscious. "Your stunt with the dragon was worse. What possessed you to Shout at that thing?"

Sithia shrugged. "It seemed like a good idea at the time. It wasn't that bad, and I got another dragon soul out of it."

Serana shook her head. "You're an idiot sometimes. Moving on to the matter at hand…"

Sithia shook her head. "I'm still not touching those buttons."

"Look, I don't like buttons any more than you do, but it's stupid to be afraid of them. The Dwemer had nothing to do with Dimhollow."

"…You've had a bad experience with buttons?"

"You could say that. I pressed the same button as you."

Sithia laughed. "Looks like it takes one to know one when it comes to being an idiot sometimes."

Serana glared at her.

"Sorry. I just can't believe your mother let you do that."

"She tried to stop me."

Curiosity had always been her fatal flaw, according to her mother, anyway. Not that Serana could really argue with that, not after the incident back in Dimhollow, however long ago it was.

"What does this do?"

"Allow me to show you. Thrall, press that—Serana, no!"

"…Ow…"

"Oh, Serana… I cannot take you anywhere. At least my plan will ensure your safety, even from yourself."

Serana sighed. She might as well give in. She considered herself more persuasive than Sithia, but Sithia was more stubborn thanks to her dragon blood or soul. Maybe both. Serana approached the buttons and started pressing them.

"Any ideas?" Serana asked, after many futile button presses.

Sithia frowned in thought. A smile slowly spread across her face, and she turned to the Dwemer contraption far overhead, raising her head. She inhaled deeply.

"Don't you dare," Serana breathed.

"FUS RO DAH!"

The Dwemer machinery came crashing down, the Elder Scroll rolling out of the wreckage. Serana had to admit it wasn't the worst idea Sithia had ever had, not that she was about to say as much. The falling not-bronze and glass hadn't hit either of them, and it wasn't as if an Elder Scroll could be damaged.

Before they went to collect it, Serana pointed at the stand beside the buttons. "What about Septimus's cube thing?"

Sithia picked it up, glancing at it. "Oops. I don't think my method transcribed it. Oh well. Not as if I was going to bother going all the way back to his ice cave anyway. I doubt a courier would have made the trek either." She tossed it aside. "Besides, I get the feeling whatever's in that box is something best left locked away, even if it's not the Heart of Lorkhan."

Serana wasn't about to argue, not when it might mean entangling her Dragonborn with the Demon of Knowledge.

They headed down the ramp and picked their way through the wreckage of the intricate mechanism to collect the Scroll. Serana took charge of it, putting it with the others in Sithia's enchanted pack. Finally they had all three.

"That's it. That's the last Scroll." Well, there were probably a lot of other Elder Scrolls in existence, but they didn't need any others. Hopefully.

Sithia nodded. "Time to go back to Paarthurnax. Hopefully one of these is the Scroll I need for Dragonrend. After that we'll take them to Dexion. Come on, let's get out of here. I hope there's a lift direct to the surface. I really don't want to go back into Blackreach ever again. If some moron leaves their prized possession down there, they can fetch it."

"Agreed. Midday sun is better than that cavern. The novelty's worn off and I don't want to see another glowing mushroom again." Although Blackreach itself was still better than Alftand had been… That Dwemer ruin was the most dangerous place they'd been so far.

They emerged from another Dwemer lift to the surface out of Tower Mzark, and found themselves overlooking the border between the Pale and Whiterun Hold. Far from lost, but even if they had been, Sithia's map would've found them again the moment Sithia looked at it.

It was a relatively uneventful journey to High Hrothgar thanks to the map, apart from running into one Thalmor patrol in the Helgen Pass. The Altmer were armed with silver and a wanted poster with a vaguely accurate sketch of Serana. Based on descriptions alone, it couldn't match Sithia's in accuracy.

The Thalmor also eyed Sithia suspiciously even before she drew her sword. The wizard leading the patrol tried to cast paralysis on Sithia. Serana had just enough time to intercept it bodily, leaving her frozen for the rest of the fight, paralysed instead of her Dragonborn. But she wasn't the only one:

"IIZ!" Sithia's Thu'um left the wizard encased in ice.

None of the silver wielding soldiers got close to Serana. The furious Dragonborn cut them all down, then stalked up to the frozen wizard next to where Serana had toppled over. Sithia stabbed him through the ice with Dragonbane, impaling him.

Sithia kept her sword drawn while waiting for the paralysis to wear off Serana. Then she helped her up.

"Thank you." Sithia embraced her tightly. "Please don't do that again. Don't take the fall for me."

Serana hugged her back. "No promises. If there's anything I can do to protect you, I will. Even if it means taking a spell instead of you."

"Serana…"

"Sorry, but it's better that I end up paralysed than you. It doesn't affect me the same way afterwards. I don't need to breathe, it can't leave me helplessly gasping for air."

"I hate it when you're right."

The encounter with the patrol left them all the warier. Following the route on Sithia's map wasn't a guarantee of safety, it was just the least bad option. That wasn't always good, just better than the alternative. Serana didn't want to know what would happen if they ignored its route again.

When they spent the night at Ivarstead, Serana set up a destruction rune trap inside the doorway to their room, carefully modified so that the blast wouldn't touch either her or Sithia. Any intruders would have an unpleasant surprise if they tried anything while Sithia was sleeping. At least the innkeeper only recognised Serana as Sithia's companion from their previous visits, and not as a suspected vampire from Thalmor wanted posters. But then the Rift was a Stormcloak Hold and any Thalmor activity would have to be clandestine.

They took full advantage of the safety of the Vilemyr Inn for the first direct feed and more intimacy since Winterhold. They hadn't the chance in Riverwood because the Sleeping Giant Inn was full. Certainly nowhere in the wilderness had been safe enough, and as for Alftand and Blackreach… No. The fate of the former occupant of that little Dwemer house was proof enough that it was far from safe there.

Serana held Sithia close as she slept, their limbs entangled. She felt troubled about what she'd tasted when she'd fed, before Sithia's usual reaction to feeding replaced it: guilt associated with Serana. It had to be lingering from the stabbing incident. But what could she say that hadn't already been said? It had been an unfortunate accident. How could she make Sithia accept that?

She was still mulling over the problem when Sithia's heart rate soared, her breathing ragged. Damn it. Another nightmare. Serana gently shook her awake. Sithia's eyes snapped open. For once she didn't go for her dagger. Instead she shakily ran her hands over Serana's sides.

"I stabbed you," Sithia choked. "It wasn't a dream. Where's…"

"That must have been at least a week ago now. Just a nightmare now. I'm fine." Serana laced her fingers through Sithia's.

Sithia shook her head. Tears welled up in her eyes. "It's not fine. I hurt you. It was bad enough when I couldn't remember it. Now I can. Buried up to the hilt…" She turned her face away, but not before Serana saw the tears spill down her cheeks. Sithia tugged her hands free. Serana let her.

Serana wrapped her arms around Sithia. "It wasn't your fault. You know I don't blame you."

"You should!" Sithia sniffed, swiping at her eyes. "I should've been strong enough to resist it. I should've used one of those damned potions. I should've… You should hate me, not be trying to make me feel better!"

"I'm not the alchemist my mother is. Maybe not even the alchemist you are. But even I know that a resistance potion doesn't give immunity. It might not have made any difference. If we're getting into 'should haves,' I should have caught that damned arrow. I almost did. I'm the one who failed."

Sithia stiffened in her arms. "Don't you dare blame yourself. You're the victim here."

"So are you!" Serana barely kept her voice down. So far no one else had woken up, and she wanted to keep it that way. "Why can't you see that? You wouldn't be feeling guilty if it had been intentional!"

"Don't. I don't deserve it. I need to make it right." Sithia took a shuddering breath. "Repay the debt."

Serana frowned. "You're the one who didn't want debts between us. I agreed."

Sithia grabbed her dagger. Serana's breath caught. She really didn't like the way Sithia held that damned dagger.

"By the blood, you'd better not mean to stab yourself to 'repay the debt.' For your information, the only thing that would hurt more than being stabbed by you is seeing you stab yourself." Serana's veins stung warningly. "The only thing besides breaking a blood oath," she added hurriedly. "Really don't recommend that."

Sithia pressed the hilt of her dagger into Serana's hand.

"Not going to happen," Serana snapped. "Are you out of your mind? I'm not going to stab you." She shoved the dagger back under the pillow.

Sithia finally turned and looked Serana in the eyes. "I owe you a blood price."

"And you've repaid it many times over already. I've drawn far more of your blood than you have mine."

Sithia shook her head. "Feeding you doesn't count, a blood price isn't supposed to be enjoyable."

"It's the only blood price I'll accept. What do you expect from a vampire? Especially one who lo—" Serana cut herself off. It was all too obvious what she'd almost said. Damn it. She stubbornly continued, "—cares about you."

Sithia sighed. "If you insist."

"I do. And do me a favour."

"Anything."

"Forgive yourself. I don't want to taste guilt from you every time I feed."

"Why did I say 'anything?' " Sithia grumbled to herself. "I'll do my best."

"Good. Just remember that it's not something I needed to forgive. You were as close as you can get to being enthralled."

Sithia raised an eyebrow. "…Is that why I had a headache when I returned to my senses? It felt just like the one after that vampire tried to enthral me."

"Um. That would be because I tried anything I could to snap you out of it. Including attempting to enthral you. It gave me a headache too. Although yours may have been worse; I knocked you out in the end."

"I deserved it."

"Sithia," Serana growled. "That's not forgiving yourself."

"All right, all right, how about we call it a draw? I stabbed you, you gave me a splitting headache and a possible concussion."

"I tried to avoid concussing you. I didn't want to hurt you. But it could have easily contributed to your headache. I almost choked you out," Serana confessed. "Both man and mer fall unconscious before they die from lack of air. But I'm pretty sure you wouldn't have stayed unconscious for as long as with hitting you to knock you out. I didn't want to have to repeat a choke hold."

"Thanks, I think. If I ever get poisoned like that again, you have my permission to knock me out. Preferably before I stab you."

"Oh, absolutely." Serana sealed the deal with a kiss. "Now that's dealt with, how about you go back to sleep?"

"Yes dear," Sithia muttered, closing her eyes and nuzzling close.

The path up to High Hrothgar was again stalked by a few frost trolls. They were at least expected, especially with the prevailing winds blowing the reek right at Serana. It could be worse; they weren't Falmer. Not that Serana expected to see the terrors of the underground so high up on the surface.

The Greybeards welcomed them. Well, Arngeir did, the others were either too deeply buried in their meditations or could only bow with Serana there, incapable of speaking. Sithia told her they would call her 'Dovahkiin' if she were alone, but it would come with a blast of their Thu'um which only Sithia could withstand.

They rested in High Hrothgar long enough that it would be after sunset once they reached Paarthurnax's peak. Sithia insisted on waiting until Serana was in less danger from Alduin's fire breath, in the event they faced him up there once Sithia learned Dragonrend. If he somehow learned of their plan, he'd be bound to fly up there, although exactly how he'd find out Serana wasn't sure. Regardless they weren't about to underestimate Alduin.

Sithia invited Serana to feed before they headed up the remainder of the mountain. Serana took her up on it. They both enjoyed it and as always Sithia was delicious. It also minimised her own weakness to fire. And it wasn't like Sithia could feed her up on the summit, it'd be far too cold up there to risk any loss of blood even with resistance potions.

Thinking of resistance potions… At Serana's prompting, Sithia double checked her potion stocks; she had more than enough frost resistance potions to last her until they returned to less chilly heights. They were ready. Or as ready as they'd ever be.

"Let's get this over with," Sithia said.

"Drem yol lok, Dovahkiin. And… Serana. Dovahkiin's companion. How fared your quest for the Kel? The Elder Scroll." Paarthurnax greeted them both from his perch atop the Word Wall with the words of Fire Breath still burned into it.

"Drem yol lok, Paarthurnax," Serana and Sithia chorused.

Serana put the enchanted pack on the snowy ground and pulled the Scrolls out, laying them down one by one. She hoped Paarthurnax might have some idea which Scroll was the right one. She'd rather Sithia didn't try to read them all if they could help it.

"Three of the Kelle? You have it. This one." Paarthurnax indicated it with a touch of the claw on his wingtip. "Tiid kreh… qalos. Time shudders at its touch. There is no question. You are doom driven. Kogaan Akatosh."

Serana had to think for a moment before she grasped the gist of Paarthurnax's Dovahzul. 'Blessed of Akatosh.'

"The very bones of the earth are at your disposal. Go then. Fulfil your destiny, Dovahkiin. Take the Scroll to the Time-Wound." Paarthurnax turned his great head, nodding at the disturbance in the air where the Time-Wound distorted it.

Sithia didn't pick up the Scroll immediately. Instead she pulled her mask down and leaned up to kiss Serana.

"Dovahkiin," Paarthurnax called. "Time runs short. Alduin will be coming. He cannot miss the signs. Read the Kel, now."

Sithia drew back, grumbling. "Of course Alduin will be coming. A fight in the thin air up here. Just what I need."

"At least we suspected as much." Serana caressed her cheek before she raised her mask again. She felt like complaining too. That kiss was far shorter than she'd wanted, and fighting Alduin really didn't appeal. But Sithia didn't need to hear it.

Sithia picked up the Scroll and took it over to the Time-Wound. "This better be the right one this time…"

Serana nodded slowly. "I think Paarthurnax is right. I can sense some sort of connection between that Scroll and the Time-Wound." It was even stronger with the Scroll right there in the disturbed air.

"Right," Sithia muttered and raised the Scroll. She narrowed her eyes, brows lowering in concentration. After taking a deep breath, she opened the scroll. She stared at it, transfixed.

In the distance a dragon roared. Serana looked in the direction it came from. She couldn't see Alduin yet, but she was sure she could feel his ominous presence approaching.

"Paarthurnax?" Serana called, wrenching her eyes away from where Alduin's fury preceded him. She met Paarthurnax's gaze, his head shifting slightly to look at her. He'd been watching Sithia.

"Geh?"

"What do we do if Alduin gets here before Sithia… before the Dovahkiin learns Dragonrend?"

Paarthurnax shifted a little to look into the distance, maybe even seeing Alduin where Serana could not. He returned his attention to her. "Worry not, Serana. Dovahkiin has her destiny. Daan."

Her doom. That wasn't a terribly comforting thing to say, unless Serana misunderstood what the word meant.

Serana resisted the temptation to pace. It might distract her a little from her anxiety, but she needed to stay as close as possible to Sithia. If it was her fate to give Sithia the time to finish her task, so be it.

Alduin arrived with the thunder of his wingbeats, hovering before them. Serana stepped in front of Sithia, spells ready in her hands, prepared to defend her Dragonborn with her life. To Serana's relief, she heard Sithia drop the Elder Scroll and draw her sword, her mind returned to the present.

"Bahloki nahkip sillesejoor. My belly is full of the souls of your fellow mortals, Dovahkiin. Die now and—"

"JOOR ZAH FRUL!" Sithia's voice was contorted with hatred, beyond anything Serana had heard from her, even about the Thalmor. As Arngeir said, it was a twisted Shout. Sithia steadied herself against Serana, a little off balance from her own Thu'um. "I'll have your soul, you big black bastard!"

Alduin plummeted to the summit of the mountain. The ground shook, knocking Sithia and Serana off their feet.

"Lost funt. You are too late, Alduin!" Paarthurnax shouted. "Now, Dovahkiin! Now he is vulnerable."

Sithia and Serana scrambled up and sprinted towards the fallen dragon. They had to get him while he was grounded. The only problem was closing the distance. Serana could do it alone, but she thought it safest to stay by Sithia's side.

Alduin's massive head raised, coated in snow, and shook it off. "Suleyki mulaag, Paarthurnax. My power has waxed, while yours has waned," he said, oddly calm. "Aav uv dir. Join me or perish with your mortal friends."

"Unslaad hokoron! Never again!" Paarthurnax said, proclaiming himself Alduin's unending enemy. He launched himself up into the air on his ragged wings.

"Then perish, traitor." Alduin raised himself up on his wings as if they were arms, still grounded.

They finally reached him; he'd slipped some distance from where they'd been standing. It had also been treacherous underfoot, as if the shockwaves of his fall still shook the mountain. Serana could feel his power this close to him. He felt like a cross between a Daedric Prince and an Aedric shrine, although his mere presence didn't hurt like a shrine. She was just aware of him and the raw power he exuded, greater than any other dragon. No wonder men long ago had worshipped him as a god.

Sithia slashed at him with Dragonbane. It undoubtedly hurt him; he roared with pain. But it didn't penetrate far through his hide, unlike other dragons pierced by the sword.

With a sinking feeling, Serana hurled two Ice Spikes at his eyes. He didn't even blink; the ice shattering against those glowing red eyes. Not even a scratch showed afterwards. He laughed, the mocking sound cutting through Serana. She tried to shut him up with some lightning. It did at least stop the laughter, but the resulting roar was only annoyed, not pained.

Paarthurnax swooped down low overhead, claws and teeth raking Alduin, who snapped up at him; his teeth missed the ancient dragon. Paarthurnax moved surprisingly fast for his age and ragged wings.

Serana took the opportunity while Alduin was distracted by Paarthurnax to sink into her monstrous form. If this wasn't a last resort, she didn't know what was. She needed to protect her prize morsel.

'Yes, she's yours, but don't even think about feeding from her up here. Too cold. She might die! Focus on the big black dragon. Alduin. He's your prey.'

Serana rolled her eyes. Her weaker self was always nagging, even when her true form walked Tamriel. If only she could silence that weakling forever…

'The big dragon! Watch out, he wants Sithia. Your favourite morsel, remember? Protect her!'

Serana looked from her morsel to Alduin just in time. She saw him knock her morsel down with a blow from his clawed wing, drawing delicious blood, and lunging at her to bite.

'NO!'

"No!" Serana echoed her weaker side's mental shout. She grabbed hold of Alduin's jaw, her claws digging into his hide. They pierced it, even! She pushed with all of her true form's strength. He couldn't bite her morsel if he couldn't reach her.

A glowing red eye glared at her. Serana raked her claws up to it. If she could pierce his hide, surely she could gouge out his eye?

Alduin shook his head violently.

Serana lost her grip. His wing came up. It slammed into her, knocking her flying—

She hit something. Very hard.

Snap.

Her bones—

'Ngh…'

She was on the ground, snow in her face.

Her monstrous form retreated. It hurt too much. Everything hurt. She coughed. Everything hurt more.

Blood. She needed blood. She needed more than the blessing of the night. She reached for her pocket. Bottled blood inside. Needed it.

Shards of glass inside. Sticky fluid.

Broken. Like her.

Sithia needed her. She had to get up.

Had to.

Had—

Serana slumped. Her eyes closed. Everything faded away.

AN: Thanks to Gaunty for alpha reading, and for help coming up with the chapter title.