Higher Ground
The High Life
Chapter The Goodbye Girl
It was a sad day for the Cliffhangers as they watched Mac leave Horizon. She had been there for over a year and she felt like she was leaving her home and family. She came so close to demanding to peter that she was staying last night and even though she thought better of it, she was still terrified of going home to her life in the real world. As the Cliffhangers hugged her and said there goodbyes, she breathed in the fresh Canadian air. She looked around taking in all the sights, as if her mind was taking photographs of each and every thing. She never wanted to forget her time at Horizon and she doubted she was ever going to. She looked over to her mother who was waiting by her car. Jill wasn't known for her patience and Mac could tell she wanted to get a move on. As she hugged Ryder, the last of the Cliffhangers to say goodbye, she remembered that he, of all the people in Horizon, was the one to comfort her and get her through her last night in the mountains.
"Your mother doesn't own you ok", Ryder whispered in her ear, "Not really". At that moment she felt the most intense pain she thought she could ever feel and she wanted Ryder to hold her forever and tell her that she was going to be ok.
As she waved to everyone from the inside of the car she realized that although, when coming to Horizon she thought it would be the worst experience of her life, in actual fact, it would probably have been one of the very best. She knew that all the people she had met, would be her lifelong friends.
Peter sat down at his desk as Sophie entered his office. As she smiled to him she got the distinct feeling Peter was in one of his detective moods again.
"I'm worried", he told her simply as he threw down a folder full of documents on his desk.
"About what?"
"About who", he corrected her. "Charlie. She's hiding something, I know it".
"She's hiding more. Jeez, how much can one kid go through?" Sophie asked.
Just as Peter was about to continue there was a knock on the door. Before they could even say 'Come in', David Ruxton barged on through.
"Well, well, well. You two look happy. Honeymoon period already over huh? I was looking for my invitation, I guess it must have got lost in the mail", David joked. Sophie laughed as she gave him a hug.
"Oh my god, David, what are you doing here", she smiled.
"See, that's what you hope to see when you travel 3000km from home in a bus full of drunks", he commented.
"Its good to see you", Peter hugged him before asking seriously "Are you doing well?"
"Oh, yeah, my probation officer says I'm doing fantastic", he joked again showing some of that humor that Peter and Sophie had begun to miss. "Hey, where's my little buddy Freaken?"
"Oh, I just saw him, he's outside helping the Rock climbers chop wood", Sophie said.
Sure enough, Ezra was outside with the rock climbers. David approached him from behind.
"Eh Freaken", he called tom Ezra in his old offensive manner, "Who taught ya how to chop wood?"
Ezra straightened his back up letting his axe drop to his side, his face showing confusion.
"I'm sorry, I thought we were over all the name calling. Must be just you idiots out there who still like to think there in the 3rd grade, huh?" he said turning around to face his protagonist, thinking it was one of the rock climbers.
"Holy crap", Ezra's stunned expression was obvious as he dropped the axe down on the ground and went to shake his hand. "David, what are you doing here?"
Ezra was genuinely pleased to see him even after all the arguments they shared last year. Shortly after the Morp, both guys had buried the hatchet with each other and realized that they actually enjoyed each others company. Just like David had done with all the other Cliffhangers he had spent his time at odds with. The two exchanged the famous buddy hug.
"How are you?" Ezra asked.
"Not bad, not bad, how bout you?" David kept his answers vague.
"Uh, well, I found my parents", Ezra didn't waste any time on filling him in.
"You're serious?" David said surprised. "Well, how did you find 'em?"
"Well, let's not go into to much detail, I haven't seen them yet. I just know where they are", Ezra explained.
"Well, are you gonna contact them or…" David trailed off.
"Well, I guess I kinda have to. I mean, I want to, I just… Anyway, what about you, what's going on, what are you doing here?"
"Ah I pissed my dad off and he kicked me out", David answered boredly. "I'm ok, you know, I got some money saved up, I'm on my own, I'll be fine".
"You wanna stay here don't you", Ezra asked knowing David too well to believe he had come all this way just to see a friend.
"What? No! I told you I'm doing things on my own", David told him a little too quickly.
"What are you gonna tell Peter?" Ezra asked ignoring what he had just said.
"I don't know. Do you want to tell him?" he asked as Ezra gave him a look and then smiled. "Come on, man, what am I gonna do? Hey Peter, I'm back! Third time lucky huh? Whattaya say we go another round" David joked.
Ezra smiled. "Well, if you don't win him with your charm, you probably aint gonna win him at all".
"Aww, are you saying I got charm?" David smiled cheekily.
"To me you got as much charm as a skunk, but the guys a councilor, he try's see the good in everybody", Ezra laughed.
In the girls dorm Kat and Shane were sprawled out in there beds. The day wasn't even half over but for them, it had gone on forever. One of their best friends had just left that morning and it had left them feeling miserable.
"This place seems so empty", Shane complained.
"I know", Kat agreed. "It's so weird. She's really gone and she's not coming back".
"Good riddance, I say", Cristina came out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped over her wet hair.
"Cristina, join civilization and act like a human being for once", Shane snapped.
"Mac's gone. There's no point acting like it's the end of the world", Christina remarked.
"Well, I guess now we know what you want us to do when you leave", Shane said.
Peter was still in his office when David came through the door.
"Hey David, did you find Ezra all right?" Peter asked.
"Yep, yep, just where you said he was", David stood over Peter's desk quietly; sorting out what he was going to say in his head.
"Something you want, David?" Peter asked noticing that David looked uncomfortable.
"Yeah, Peter, I haven't exactly been honest with you", David blurted out before he could stop himself.
"Oh, you haven't?" Peter didn't even look up from his documents. He knew what David was about to say.
"No, see, you know how I told you I was only passing through", David said.
"I remember it perfectly", Peter answered in a nonchalant tone.
"Yeah that's a lie", David said quickly.
"Oh, is it really", Peter wasn't surprised at all.
"Yeah, and you know how I told you I was only here to see Ezra", he continued.
"Mmm-hmm"
"Yeah that's not completely true either", David told him.
"Hmm", Peter put his pen down on the desk, "So why are you here, David?"
"All right, you know why. Stop making me do all the work", David finally said.
Peter looked up to David for the first time but still said nothing.
"I wanna come back", David rolled his eyes.
Peter got up out of his chair and walked around the room, not letting David know what he was thinking.
"Feel free to say something anytime", David said nervously. Peter said nothing and just kept pacing around. "Ok, times up, speak, man".
"You let us down twice", Peter finally spoke.
"That I did", David looked down to the floor.
"The second time around, I thought you were gonna make a go of it", Peter sat back in his chair.
"And I was. I just got…distracted", a short smile appeared on his face, and then quickly faded when Peter saw him and David realized it wasn't the time.
"Then again, you left", Peter continued.
"You gotta get it wrong sometimes, its how we grow", David commented.
"Let me talk it over with Soph", Peter finally said.
"Sophie, yeah, I like Sophie, she's nice. Good at giving second chances", David joked as peter gave him a disapproving look. "Or, you know, third…chances."
"Leave it with me".
It was lunch time and most of the Cliffhangers were in the cafeteria. Shane was asleep in her room and Ezra was still with David.
"You know what they should do?" Patrick said, "They should take us out for dinner".
"Where? St. Agnus Hotel?" Kat laughed.
"Well, its better than eating gruel at a teenage loony bin", Ryder said.
"Hey guys", Ezra sat down at his chair, David sitting next to him. "This is David, he was here last year, David, this is Ryder, Cristina, Binna, Kat and Patrick".
"Hey David, are you just visiting", Cristina began flirting.
"Uh, I don't know, we'll see", he tried to restrain himself from laughing.
"If you have any time later, I'd be happy to show you around", she continued.
"Uh, you know, I think I can figure it out", he told her.
"Yeah, you know he was here last year", Ezra repeated.
"Some things have changed", she insisted.
"Yeah, the big garbage bin has moved about an inch", Patrick laughed. "You know, some people might find that a little confusing".
"Shut up, Patrick", Cristina snapped, "Your so annoying".
"D'ya know, I get that a lot, I don't know what it is", Patrick teased.
"Now you're just talking to make sounds", Cristina said.
"Ah, nothing like an argument in the middle of the day", Ezra joked.
Sophie and Peter had been in the office for an hour trying to figure out what they should do about David. They were still confused about his situation and weren't sure if they could help him.
"So what do you think?" Peter asked for Sophie's advice.
"David back at Horizon", she said thinking it over in her head. "I think it'll be a challenge".
"Yes it will be", peter agreed.
"Well, maybe it'll be different this time. I mean he seems like he's changed, he's a lot more mature, he came back himself too, I mean nobody was forcing him this time", Sophie pointed out. "Did he say why he wanted to come back?"
"No", Peter answered, "But I guess it's got something to do with his dad".
"And he's clean?"
"Yeah, which brings me to another point. I mean why is he here? Because he is clean, and there doesn't seem to be anything psychological going on", Peter said.
"Peter, that doesn't mean there's not", Sophie told him.
"I know, I just, its making me wonder, is David having problems or does he just need a place to stay? I hate to sound heartless, Soph, but, where not a boarding school", Peter said.
"Cant we just give him the benefit of the doubt", Sophie suggested, "Think about it, his father kicked him out of the house, he has nowhere to go, there's obviously something wrong here".
As Peter thought about this, the phone rang.
"Hello", he answered. Sophie sat on the desk interested to see who it was. "Yes that's right…You're in St Agnus now? Uh yes, sure that'll be great…Ok, well, we'll see you soon", Peter hung up the phone as Sophie gave him a curious look.
"Uh that was Janine Smith", Peter told her.
"Who?"
"Ezra's biological mother", he explained.
"Wow", Sophie was stunned, "And there here, in St Agnus now?"
"Yeah, there coming up tomorrow morning", Peter said.
"Well, we gotta tell Ezra", Sophie said.
The next morning, Ezra woke up feeling nervous. He was happy he was finally going to meet his real parents, but he was afraid that this could all be some sort of twisted joke.
"Do I look ok?" Ezra had dresses himself up in a suit, complete with a tie and newly made over hair.
"EZ, lose the tie, lose the suit, lose the Frankenstein hair man, just lose everything, these are your parents, it's not the president", Binna advised.
"Well, I wanna look good, I've never met these people, I don't know what their like", Ezra said.
"Well, there's one thing you do know, and it's that they aren't Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles", Patrick laughed.
"Look man, they know you're at Horizon right? A school full of drug addicts and petty criminals. They're probably over thinking that you're a saint", Damien told him.
"Yeah, they're probably picturing you with tattoos and nose rings", Binna suggested.
"And wont they get a surprise when they see me", Ezra smiled.
"The good son who bares a striking resemblance to that butler in the Adams family, minus the whole green thing", Patrick said.
Ezra pretended to laugh. "Ohoh, you're on a role."
"I think you should stop thinking about what you look like and start worrying about weather or not there gonna like having a junkie in there family", Ryder pointed out.
"Uh, reformed junkie. And they wanted to see him. He's already got there acceptance", David said.
"Thank you", Ezra told him, "Now, what shoes should I wear?"
"You know, chopping wood is great exercise", Shane said proudly as she pounded into a stump with her axe.
"Yeah, especially when the axe comes flying down onto your toe", Charlie laughed, "That'll keep you running for hours".
As the girls continued to joke around the boys approached.
"Presenting the newly made over", Patrick begun, "Its Carson Kresley, girls". Patrick said in a high pitched voice as if he was a 13 year old girl going to see her favorite boy band.
"So, I took longer than usual to get ready, now your saying I'm gay", Ezra asked.
"You don't scrub up too badly", Shane said.
"Well, he had some help from Jai and Kyan over here", David pointed out to Binna and Damien. "Ted and Tom are on vacation".
Ezra smiled as a brown Camero came up the driveway. As they watched two people get out Ezra knew that was his parents.
It was a warm, sunny afternoon as Charlie sat out on a bench by the docks. She hadn't spoken to Damien or any of the Cliffhangers since the events of the other night and she was feeling uneasy about the whole situation. Damien had asked her to meet him at 1pm. He was late. She had no idea what she was going to say to him and she didn't even know if she could look him in the eye without balling. As he walked up she gave him a smile. He sat down beside her. There was silence for a moment as they gathered their thoughts. He was obviously just as uneasy as her.
"Nice day", he commented.
"Yep", she replied nervously.
"Good weather", he continued with the small talk.
"Mmm hmm", she mumbled as a small smile crept across her face.
"I'm sorry", she said finally.
"Why? It wasn't your fault", she told him.
"Yeah it was", he said. "I didn't believe you".
"Um, yeah, actually you did", she smiled. "You believed every word that came out of my mouth. I'm the one that lied. I was ashamed. And I didn't wanna hurt you". Damien looked at her trying to read what was on her face and in her eyes. "I guess I did that anyway".
They sat together for a minute acknowledging what had just been said. Damien reached into his pocket and pulled out a photo of a young woman. Charlie looked over at the photograph. She knew who the woman was. She wanted to ask him why he had a photo of her in his wallet but she couldn't let him know her secret.
"Who is that?" she asked.
"My father's wife", he answered simply. "Denise. I had just turned 11 when she married my dad".
"Damien, you don't have to do this", she interrupted.
"My life, is one big secret, one lie. Nobody knows who I am, you know that? Not in this whole world, not my father, not my mother, not Peter, nobody. I'm sick of it", he told her bluntly.
"Damien, please don't, don't do this", Charlie said, almost in tears. She couldn't handle hearing this. She knew she was being selfish and she wanted to help Damien but she was so scared of what might come out.
"No! I want you to know me. I want…just…I need you to know who I am", he urged.
She was silent for a moment, not knowing what to say or do next. So she said the only thing she could say.
"Ok"
Binna, Patrick and David were sitting in their dorm room waiting for Ezra to tell them the details of his biological parents. After waiting for half an hour Patrick had decided to start a new topic of conversation.
"So, I was lying there, on the floor, and she comes in and says 'Hi, my names Lauren, what's yours'. And I was like 'woah, step back, are you talking to me?'" Patrick said.
"Oh, so she was hot?" David asked.
"Oh yeah", Patrick replied. "Anyway, so we got to talking and she turned out to be really cool".
"Until you met her boyfriend", Binna pointed out.
"Please, I'm trying to tell David a story here", Patrick exclaimed.
"And you did. A girl came up to you, you started talking to her, you developed a little bit of a crush, and then you met her boyfriend", Binna said blandly.
"You make me sound so pathetic", Patrick sighed.
Binna smiled as Ezra came through the door.
"Oh hey, how was it?" David asked.
"Um, yeah it was good", Ezra replied, "Really good".
"Good. You've really painted a picture for me, I feel like I was there", David joked.
"It was great, ok. They were really nice, we ate burgers and they bought me a chocolate milkshake and then we played a bit of pool", Ezra said more enthusiastically. And he was excited. Although he was still in shock of finding his real parents, he had had a great time with them and he hoped they would stick around a bit longer.
Some people would say that Charlie was made of steel. And for the most part, she didn't let anyone believe she wasn't. Even though she knew, herself, that she was so close to falling apart. This was never true, more so than when it became apparent that Damien wanted to tell her his life story. Damien was the one person that she knew could break her.
"I was 9 when they met. My dad was still married to my mom, but I guess he didn't care about that. She was his secretary. I never liked her, I don't even know why, I mean she was nice, she…It was just, something just didn't sit right with her, I don't know, maybe that's what it was, maybe she was too nice." Damien had obviously been pondering this for a while and rehearsing it over and over in his head. Then it was my 11th birthday. I remember being annoyed cos I didn't have a party, you know. My dad didn't think it was appropriate considering my mom had just left and…everything else. Anyway it was about 11 o'clock at night, my dad had let me stay up late, Denise whispered in my ear. She said she had a surprise for me and it was waiting for me in my room. So I went upstairs, opened my door, but I didn't see anything. No gift, no card. I asked her 'Where's my gift?' You know what she said? She said 'right here'." Damien looked at Charlie, tears forming in his eyes and in hers. "I thought it was a joke, you know. I thought my dad was just gonna come out…but he didn't. She sat me on my bed, her beside me, she started…she just", he wiped his eyes roughly with the back of his hand. "I tried to say something, I tried to tell her no, but she just, she, she told me 'what my dad didn't know, wouldn't hurt him'. I wanted to tell him, I wanted to scream out, but I couldn't. It was like I froze…"
"Damien". As he looked up at her, tears streaming down his face, she knew there was nothing she could say.
"I didn't know what to do", he breathed heavily trying to stop the tears from falling down his face as he looked at her. "I didn't know anything".
Before he said another word, she pulled him into a hug as she gently kissed his cheek. He reached over and pulled her tighter as though he would never let her go.
David had been summoned to Peter's office and he knew what it was about. Peter was about to tell him if he was here to stay or that he was kicked out of another place for the 2nd time in a week.
"So you promise us that you are going to stay for the remainder of the year, you'll complete all your school work and you'll stick to the rules", Sophie asked David.
"Yes I do" David told her nervously.
"We're serious about this David, no more wasting time", Peter joined in.
"I know, I'm here for good", David assured them.
"Then", Peter took a deep breath, "Then you can stay".
"YES!" he yelled victoriously.
"Now we've put you in with the Cliffhangers as you've gotten to know them over the last couple of days", Peter told him.
"Let's not remember I was the Cliffhanger God last year", David was cocky as Peter showed him the door.
"Don't push it", Sophie came him a word of advice before he left.
As the sun was setting down at Horizon, Damien and Charlie were still at the dock. There had been silence between them for about an hour now, but not awkward silence.
It was the silence of two people who had shared there deepest, darkest secrets with each other. It was a comfortable silence as they sat and watched the water beneath them.
"I haven't told anybody what I've told you. Peter maybe, but not because I wanted to", Damien told her as she layed her head on his shoulder.
"You know, its gonna be alright", she told him.
He gave a bitter laugh. "Isn't that just the cop out of the century"?
She smiled at how much he reminded her of herself. "Shut up, ok. Look, somebody told me once, something I don't think I'll ever forget. Grief lasts forever, and if it doesn't, then its not true grief. I know it sounds stupid, I don't even know if I believe it myself, but, once you stop fighting it and just accept it as a part of you, it's not such a bad thing. It'll still hurt; it'll still tear you apart but in a different way".
"You've been watching episodes of Dawson's Creek haven't you?" he joked for the first time that day.
"No", she smiled, "Look, my point is, it's the pain of grief that hurts so much. But the pain your feeling can't last forever. It won't. Your body can't take it. It knows that if you don't get over it, it's going to kill you. And it doesn't want that." Damien was listening now and he seemed to be getting more and more convinced. "So it makes you get over it. And that doesn't mean forgetting it. It just means reducing the pain to a more tolerable level. A level that doesn't destroy you".
"I don't know if I can believe all that", he stood up and walked up to the edge of the dock.
"Gotta admit", she stood up and followed behind him. "It's a nice concept".
He turned around to face her. "Are you getting over it?"
She smiled, sighing and breathing in the cool air. "I think so. Gradually. It takes time".
"It scares me", he said turning back towards the water. "I've been living with this for so long. I don't know what it'd be like to live without it".
She walked over to him and rested her head on his shoulder, folding her arms to keep from getting to cold. He looked down at her as she looked at the sunset. Without thinking he took her chin with his hand and lifted her face up to his. He stroked her lips with his finger before gently kissing her. For a moment she let him.
Ok that's it, hope you liked it. More reviews people! Thanks