So I have a question for all you readers out there. Do you think that this Shepard so remain unnamed, or should I give her a name? And if I should, do you have any suggestions? Just send me a thought.

The inspiration for today was actually last chapter, but I added part of this song in because it fit, in a way. I'm changing things up on you guys today. Hopefully this gives you a bit of a new perspective (figuratively and literally) on this Horizon encounter.

I'm taking a bit of a chance here, so I would really appreciate it if you would review and let me know how brilliant I am…heh, I mean what you thought about this chapter.

Enjoy!

13 Days- Treason

"We all have a weakness,

Some of ours are easy to identify,

Look me in the eye,

And ask for forgiveness,

Or make a pact to never speak that word again,

Yes, you are my friend.

We all have something that digs at us,

At least we dig each other.

So when weakness turns my ego up,

I know you'll count on the me from yesterday."

-Dig, Incubus

It came from the higher-ups. The very, very higher-ups. A rumor, a chance, that Shepard was alive. But with that chance came an order. You can't join here, under any circumstance. They had said. She's with Cerberus, and joining her would be considered the same as treason.

It had taken quite some time to come to terms with all of this information. Shepard was alive. Two years spent in broken grief, never quite moving on, and now all of the sudden she's back? Was she ever actually dead? How was she alive? And with Cerberus? Why hasn't she contacted me?

There were so many things I was unsure of now. For the second time in two years, I felt as if the ground was pulled from under me, and I suddenly didn't know up from down. Then I was sent to Horizon, and so I shoved all of the feelings together into the corner o f my mind, trying to focus.

But I kept on thinking about it. There had to have been some reason, an explanation behind her actions. The Shepard I knew would never do something like this unless there was no other choice. But was this the Shepard I knew? Days after that question took root in my head, she arrived on her in my arms, marveling at how well she fit, even in N7 armor, I knew it was her. This was my Shepard.

During the two years without her, I promised myself that if there was ever a way to see her again, I would never let her go. Now, as I thought of the orders I had been given, I had to eat those words. I was one of the few that knew the truth about the Reaper threat. I couldn't leave the Alliance as unprepared as they were now. I couldn't risk it.

But if she found out that the Alliance, what she grew up with, believed in, had betrayed her like this, it would destroy her. No, it would be better if she thought that I was just to hurt and confused. Which was still partly true, anyway.

Still, it was almost too much to see my words hurting her as she tried to deflect the accusations that I was throwing at her. It's better this way, I reminded myself as I began to walk away. Shepard, however, was as stubborn as always.

"Wait, Kaidan," She said turning me around to face her.

"Shepard?" I responded. Please, don't make this any harder on me. She put her hands on either side of my face, touch somehow gentle through the gloves. Slowly, she turned my head so that my eyes met her gorgeous blue ones.

"Look at me. You know me. You know me better than anyone! It's me. Come with me. Please." Shepard pleaded sincerely. My heart broke a little just seeing her like this.

"I…can't" I replied, hoping she would take that so that I could spare her any more pain. She took a deep, sharp breath in.

"Why?" She asked, leaning even closer to me. "Why not?"

"You've betrayed the Alliance."

"You know damn well that's not true. I'm doing the best that I can with what I have. They betrayed me. What is it really?" Oh sweetheart, if only I could tell you everything.

"You've changed. I don't know who you are anymore. Can't trust you anymore." There were tears streaming down her cheeks. Whatever was left of my heart shattered.

"You can't trust me anymore, I've changed?"She whispered, voice rasping a little from the tears. "Kaidan, I haven't changed. I love you. Just like I said I always would."

"No, Shepard. I can't know that." And that was it, that was what got her to distance herself from me. She let go of me, looking away. I resisted the urge to pull her into my arms again and wipe away all of her tears.

"Nothing I can say can change your mind?"

"I have a report to write," I responded, walking away. Stopping for a brief moment, I considered telling her everything, taking back my hurtful words. Treason, my mind whispered. So I settled for less than what I wanted to say. "Be careful, Shepard." Please forgive me. I'll make it up to you soon, love. I promise.

I love you.