Everyone knows I'm in over my head, over my head

As promised, I called Miley the next day. She picked up almost instantly, and I heard her chirping voice on the other end of the phone. "Lilly!"

"Hey," I said. Monosyllabic. The less I said, the less I'd give away.

"Thanks for ringing me back. I didn't want to disturb you and Oliver anymore than I already had," she almost sung.

Why is she so happy?

Oh. Yeah. Jake asked her out. Ugh.

Not that I'm not happy for her. I am. But I can't handle this chirpiness right now.

"You didn't disturb us, Miley. We were on the beach. Talking. End of," I sighed, knowing the sarcasm that would follow my statement.

"Sure." And boy was I right. The sarcasm was ever-present, and I groaned.

"Miley... my mom - and Oliver, 'cause it was totally his idea - roped me into helping at one of her events, and we didn't feel like helping to clean up, so we went to the beach," I explained, missing out one or two details.

Silence. She doesn't believe me. She doesn't believe me. She knows I'm lying. She knows I like Oliver.

But I don't.

I do.

No.

Yes.

Oliver is just my best friend.

Your best friend who you happen to be in love with.

No.

Yes. Mrs. Lilly Oken.

No.

Yes. You know you love him, and you think he's cute, and that he has nice eyes and -

"Shut up!" I cried, and then realised I'd spoken aloud.

"I didn't say anything, Lills," Miley said, and I could tell that she was trying not to laugh.

Shoot. Um... "Sorry. My... brother was yelling for me."

"Riight. Anyway. You. Oliver. Beach. About midnight." Miley's doing it. Speaking in as little syllables as possible.

"What about it? We went to the beach the other night at midnight too..." I defended.

I can almost see the look she's giving me. If she were giving me a look. She's probably giving the phone a look. "And it was suspicious then too. Would this be your beach? The one you went to?"

"Yeah..." I wrinkled my nose. Duh.

"You even have a beach. Lilly..." she trailed off. What was she getting at? What was she insinuating?

She was insinuating what I was thinking last night.

"What?" I asked, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible. "Miley, we're friends. Generally, friends hang out."

"All you are?" she asked.

She knows. How does she know? Does everyone know? She's not even here! She's on a tour bus somewhere! How can she see into my mind like this?

"Miley! I'm not sure I like what you're getting at!" I laughed, and hoped I'd gotten away with it.

She sighed. "Lilly, you know you can tell me anything, right?"

"Of course I do," I said. Why do I feel bad? I feel really guilty. Why?

Because I'm hiding the biggest secret in the world from her.

No I'm not. She hid the fact that she was Hannah Montana - for months! This is nowhere near as big as that.

Ah. So there is a secret.

No! No, I don't love Oliver.

Wait. Where did that love come from? Last night, I only liked Oliver. Why is this word - love - plaguing me?

I DON'T LOVE OLIVER!

She waited a few more seconds, and then sighed. "Okay, Lilly. Just wanted you to know that. Anyway, I'm going out with Jake as soon as we both get back to Malibu! How awesome is that?"

"Pretty awesome," I muttered, not really taking much of what she was saying in.

I like Oliver.

Argh.

Why do I like Oliver? I mean, he is a very like-able person. Just... why me?

My eyes scanned the room, and fell on a picture of me and Oliver. Oliver and me. It's a recent picture too; Miley took it at the last school dance that we all went to. And Oliver is smiling, and has his arm around me.

I remember him putting his arm around me at Rico's, and the jittery feeling I got after it.

And then the sparks when he helped me up from the sand.

Symptoms. Of something I hadn't even considered.

"Lilly?" Miley asked, sounding slightly worried. "You okay?"

No! No, I'm not okay! I've just realised, that I'm in love with one of my best friends! In love! When last night, I just liked the guy.

When did like get replaced by love?

Or was 'love' always the word there, I just wouldn't admit it?

Yeah, that last explanation seems about right. Miley's always said I'm stubborn.

"No," I sighed, and lay back on my bed. "No, Miles, I'm not alright."

Miley doesn't sound surprised. "What is it? And I'm sitting down. For another three hours, so I have plenty of time."

Why beat around the bush?

"Miley, I think I like Oliver."

There's only silence for about thirty seconds. "I knew it!"

"What? What did you know? And how did you know it, and I didn't know it, until right now?" I sat upright, and asked her.

"Lilly, deep down you knew it. 'Cause I saw the way you looked at him, and the way he looked at you, and I just knew. You two were as obvious as a sheep on a school bus," Miley laughed, and I don't know whether I felt relief or anger.

"How long for? I mean, how long have I been this oblivious? Miley, tell me it's been about a week, so I don't feel completely stupid!" I exclaimed, and threw myself back down on the bed.

She laughed. "I could tell you that, but my nose would be about a foot long."

"How long for then?" I asked, sort of dreading the answer.

"About a year," Miley said, and I could almost see her shrugging. Like it was no big deal. Like I had been blissfully unaware of the fact that I had loved Oliver for a year because I had wanted to be.

A year?

But it all made sense.

I mean, when Oliver had gone back out with Becca for a bit, I had told myself that I was not jealous. Convinced myself too. But I was.

And at that weird Truth or Dare party that Amber and Ashley had held, when they asked me if I had liked someone... that's probably why my eyes were instantly drawn to Oliver. Yet, I told them that I didn't. But I did.

Clueless has a new definition: Lilly Truscott.

"So, what are you going to do?" Miley asked me, and I shook my head, stopping me from remembering all the hints that I'd had.

I shrugged, even though she couldn't see me. "I have no clue."

"I think you should tell him." Miley offers advice, even though I'd asked for none.

"What? Tell him? No way! I can't tell him! What am I supposed to say? Oliver, I love you, let's go skateboarding?" I cried.

Miley laughed. How can she be laughing? "Lilly, he feels the same way. Just, do it. Go to his house, now, and tell him you like him."

"I can't Miley! I'm no good at this sort of thing," I groaned. I'm not telling him. I can't. I'm going to pretend that I don't love him. Easy.

Pretend, pretend, pretend.

"Lilly, you're sixteen - almost seventeen - and you've never asked a guy out. You've kissed one person - " Miley began.

"Two," I cut in, before I can stop myself. When I realised what I'd said, I clapped a hand over my mouth.

"Two?" Miley questions. I've never told her... not that I was keeping it a secret. But, because I didn't feel the need to.

"Yeah... two," I said, and hoped she'd drop it. Please drop the subject, please drop it, please, please, please...

"Who?" she asked.

She didn't drop it.

I paused for a second before answering. "Um... Oliver..."

"What?" she exclaimed, and it's so loud that I have to pull the phone away from my ear. "What? When? How? Why? Last night? Did he kiss you? What? Lilly!"

"Miley, calm down. First, it was not last night. We were seven. Second, I dunno why. We just did. We were seven. Third, I guess we both did it. I don't think either of us suggested it. We just kissed, and then moved on. We were seven. Neither of us knew what we were doing, and neither of us brought it up again after. It's no big deal," I sighed, and waited for the reaction.

"No big deal? How come you never told me about this?" she asked, sounding almost outraged. But I know she's not.

I rolled my eyes. "We were seven. Seven years old, neither of us knew that you only kissed someone you loved... romantically. It was never mentioned again, until now."

"I can't believe you've kissed Oliver before," she muttered, and I could hear her shaking her head. Well... I could hear her head moving against the cell phone, so she could have been nodding, I guess.

"No. Neither can I. But back to the issue. I'm not telling Oliver," I said, and closed my eyes.

She groaned. "But Lilly, you have to. He feels the same. I know it. And it's what you do. Boy likes girl, girl likes boy - one of you has to own up to it! And if you leave it to Oliver, you could be waiting a long time."

"Hey! He isn't that bad!" I defended him.

"See. You've got it bad. You're even defending the boy. Tell him!" Miley insisted.

I opened my eyes. "There is no way, in this lifetime, that I am telling Oliver - "

"Telling Oliver what?" A voice cut in, from the doorway behind me, and I sat up quickly, fell back, and ended up in a heap on the floor.

"Ouch," I mumbled, and entangled myself from the clothes that were littering my floor.

"What are you not telling me?" Oliver laughed, from the doorway.

I sat up, and looked at him for a few seconds, and then put the phone back to my ear. "Miles... Oliver's here. I gotta go."

"Oh. Tell him!" she manages to cry, before I flip the lid of the phone down and hang up.

Oliver walked into the room, and sat in the inflatable chair opposite my bed. "And, for the third time... what are you not telling me?"

What do I say? What do I say?

"I can't tell you," I smiled, in a sing-song voice. "That would ruin the surprise."

He folded his arms. "Lillian Truscott. I hate surprises."

"You'll like this one," I reassured him... even though I'm not entirely sure what the surprise was. Oh well. It's a figment of my imagination - he can like it if I say so.

Oliver just looked at me for a few seconds, and then shook his head. "If you say so."

"I do say so," I smiled at him.

Wait - am I being flirty? With Oliver? I mean, I like him, and I'll fully admit that - to myself. And Miley I guess - but there is no need for flirting.

Unless I flirt with him a lot.

Do I flirt with him a lot? Have I been flirting with him this past year, and not even noticed? Can that even happen? Isn't there some sort of light in your head that goes off whenever you're flirting with someone?

If there isn't there totally should be.

"Anyway," I said, trying to snap out of 'flirty' mode. I didn't even know I had a flirty mode, but I obviously do. And I'll have to ask Miley about the flirting thing later. "What are you doing here?"

He shrugged. "Just came to hang out."

"Right. Good plan. Anything else?" I asked. "'Cause you can't have expected to sit in this room all day."

"We could watch a movie," he shrugged. "At the movie theater or here."

I didn't care. As long as I was with him.

Ugh. Now that just sounded desperate.

"Sounds good to me," I smiled. "But... should we go to the movies, where they have popcorn, and you have to pay, or should we stay here, where we have popcorn, and it doesn't cost a thing?"

"Here," we both said, simultaneously.

Well, we're not stupid.

I'm really happy! Two chapters in a row, and both broke 2000 words! Yay! Another update real soon, but review first!